Goodbye, Narcissist; Hello, Self-Love: A Guide to Overcoming Abusive Relationships and Healing Your Inner Wounds

By Ella Jayne West

One woman’s journey back to herself and overcoming narcissistic abuse. An honest and authentic insight into how a dream relationship can quickly turn into a nightmare. Goodbye Narcissist, Hello Self Love offers you the opportunity to learn how to recognise the signs, heal your wounds and begin the path to self love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Jul 16, 2020
• ISBN: 9781796009613

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Copyright © 2020 by Ella Jayne West.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 07/16/2020

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CONTENTS

About The Author

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

References

Resources

To my son, Patrick, who remains my biggest supporter, truth teller, and friend; Linda, who sat with me when I cried and cheered me on when I found the courage to take even the smallest steps to start loving myself; Kylie, who boldly walked through my chemo journey with me, never doubting my capacity to survive; and April, whose almost-daily mantra in those early days was You got this! These four key people supported me during a time in my life when I doubted I would ever make it through to the other side.

Many other wonderful people have also supported me and encouraged me in my journey to self-love. I am eternally grateful to them, and they will forever remain in my heart. I am blessed and filled with gratitude for my life and to have them in it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ella Jayne West shares her personal journey with readers to facilitate their process of healing from trauma and abuse, specifically narcissistic abuse, and finding the path to self-love. Her background includes working with families and individuals in the fields of family work, drug and alcohol casework, youth work, disability work and general counselling. Ella’s passions include her family, her bullmastiff cross, spiritual growth and development, and books.

INTRODUCTION

Narcissistic abuse is more common than people realise, but increasingly, people are becoming aware of and recognising the dangers and red flags involved with those who have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, between 0.5 and 1 per cent of the general population (50–75 per cent are men) is diagnosed with NPD.

Goodbye, Narcissist; Hello, Self-Love was inspired by my own experiences with individuals who have NPD. I wrote this book to show how perpetrators of narcissistic abuse target others and to provide insights for those who may not be familiar with the tactics and dangers involved when dealing with them.

In the chapters that follow, I hope to encourage others through the process of healing and self-love. Although I have written this book for women, I acknowledge that men have also been exposed to narcissistic abuse. May Goodbye, Narcissist; Hello, Self-Love be a channel of healing for you if you have suffered at the hands of someone. And may it be a reminder that it doesn’t matter how long or how many times it takes; you have everything you need within you in order to heal.

CHAPTER 1

The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.

—Thales

If you were to define your life in one paragraph, what would you write? Have you achieved all the things that you set out to do and that you imagined when you were young? I’ve written this book to share my journey so far, with the knowledge that my purpose is to live my truth and find value in every experience. Although the journey to self-love has been painful at times, it has also been filled with incredible and beautiful defining moments.

You see, the reality is that deep down, many of us either don’t believe our dreams will come true or, even worse, don’t believe we are worthy enough to receive them. Who told us that? When I was young, I imagined my life would be a simple process. I couldn’t wait to turn sixteen, then eighteen, then twenty-one; to get married; to have children; to own my own home. It would be perfect, a little girl’s dream of happily ever after. But the reality is nothing can really prepare you for events outside your control or the actions of others. Nothing can prepare you for life.

If you are anything like me, you’ll make the same mistake a few times—you know, just to