Surviving Grief: The Little Guide to Cope with Loss

By Suly Rieman

Losing a child is one of the most difficult and devastating events that anyone could ever experience. The heartache, the pain, and the overwhelming waves of emotion and grief may overtake your life. Grieving is a process, a journey, and no one should walk through the grieving process alone. Surviving Grief is a guide to help grieving parents cope, and find ways to face the sorrow, heal, and persevere through the journey. You must allow yourself permission to grieve. Healing comes from doing the tangible and healthy things that allow you to face the reality of your loss and still maintain the love and memory of your child. With the help of this book and the strength of the Lord, may you find comfort and healing to cope with the incredible loss in your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 22, 2011
• ISBN: 9781449746582

Suly Rieman

Suly Rieman shares her personal story of loss, and the courage and strength she found to cope and heal. After losing three children and her stepson, she encountered the loss of a long-term marriage. With the help of the Lord she survived, persevered, and was able to find joy and direction for her life. It is her hope to help other grieving parents as they attempt to cope and heal after experiencing loss. She lives in Glendale, Arizona, with her two teenage sons. She is a business and technical writer. She works in the career services department and assists college students with résumé writing, interview preparation, and career advising. She has a degree in Business Administration, and in Applied Behavioral Sciences.

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Copyright © 2011 Suly Rieman

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Front cover photograph by Suly Rieman

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4497-1768-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-4658-2 (ebook)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011929581

WestBow Press rev. date: 6/6/2011

Contents

Preface

CHAPTER ONE

The Survival Guide

CHAPTER TWO

Finding Comfort

CHAPTER THREE

Getting Help

CHAPTER FOUR

A New Season

CHAPTER FIVE

Mending Hearts

CHAPTER SIX

Bittersweet Losses

CHAPTER SEVEN

Coping With Change

CHAPTER EIGHT

Contentment

CHAPTER NINE

The Good News

Bibliography

To my friend Barb Garst, thank you for the courage to be my friend.

To Stephen Shultz, thank you for your expertise with words,

and the sharp editorial pencil.

To Timmy, Hannah, and Jeremy,

I love you forever.

Preface 

Sometimes life hits us and it hits us hard. At times, we encounter difficult events and tragic losses; tragedies that can bring us to an emotional, spiritual, and physical breaking point. Difficult times in life may challenge our belief system, drive us to our knees, and reveal our level of trust in God. I have experienced such difficult losses and times in my life…and by the grace of God, I have persevered and survived.

My life has been no stranger to grief. I experienced the incredible sorrow of the death of my parents, the death of three of my children, the death of my stepson, and the death of my long-term marriage. Passing through each personal loss has given me opportunity to rely completely on my faith in God. By the grace of God, I survived each event and learned to trust and depend on God for comfort and peace.

Within these pages, I briefly share some of the stories of my personal tragedies, the overwhelming waves of emotion and grief, and the steps I followed to allow myself permission to grieve and heal. I share some of the coping methods that helped me. I discovered ways that helped me, not to lose my mind, find renewed strength in my faith, and guide me through some of the darkest hours in my life.

My prayer is that Lord will bring you comfort. I hope that this book may help you as you walk through the difficult times in your life. May you allow yourself the permission and freedom to grieve the incredible and overwhelming losses in your life. May you find rest and peace through the Lord Jesus Christ and persevere through the tragedies in your life. Peace.

CHAPTER ONE 

The Survival Guide

Loss. The very word stirs emotions in me. Loss is one of the things that can take our breath away, drive us to clinical depression, and challenge the very fiber of our faith.

Frayed String

I was reared in a Christian home; I grew up attending Sunday school, I learned the value of reading the Bible. Yet, when I faced the most difficult losses in my life, I felt as if I had little strength and faith to hang on to the life rope of hope. When I faced my darkest hours, and battled with the overwhelming waves of emotion and grief, none of those things made my loss any easier. I found myself feeling as if I were hanging on to a thin, frayed string, rather than a strong rope of hope.

I asked the why-questions and my heart was ever so broken; I thought the pain and tears would never end. I did not feel that time could heal my hurts, as time heals nothing. What I found was that I needed to survive and release the pain, and allow myself the permission to move forward with my life. This was not an easy task. I sought for answers in the word of God. I cried out to God and asked for healing. I sought for help and found comfort knowing that God can heal the broken hearted. I gave myself permission to weep, permission to face my emotions, permission to grieve. I found the miraculous healing of my heart, and I found the ability to continue to live my life without the people that I love deeply.

The Foundation

When I was young and attempted to find my way in life, I asked God to bless my life. Part of the request included having a life where I could remain single and not have children. Not that I do not like children; I did not have time for serious commitments. I worked hard, attended college, and searched for the path God would have me take with my life. My interests and desires included a love for cars, travel, and in my mind, no room for a long-term relationship. I enjoyed dating and had no interest in marriage. I wanted to pursue a career, live in the city, and drive a sports car.

As a young girl, I heard the message of the saving grace of God through Jesus. I was reared in a home that valued serving God and made church attendance a priority. Actually, I was born on a Sunday afternoon; my mother went into labor on the way home from church, and I was born at home.