Laugh up and Crack up Jokes: Guarantees Laugh

By Joshua Gunter

Just a joke book. A book to bring joy and happiness to others, with what has been going on for so long now.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: Dec 17, 2020
• ISBN: 9781489732552

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Copyright © 2021 Joshua Gunter.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

LifeRich Publishing is a registered trademark of The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-4897-3257-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-3256-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-3255-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020924967

LifeRich Publishing rev. date: 12/07/2020

1. The father bear was bee-ing berry berry bad around his Chicago-Cubs, his mate tells him to bee-hive, or she wouldn’t bee his Honey anymore, he realized her tummy was upset as well, he didn’t want his Honey turning bad, so he went and ate his sweet-Honey, that he loved, before turning rotten.

2. The magnet says to the paper: "You’re stuck with the fridge and me, make sure you stay cool." The paper starts getting all fired up, now, now, cool down, finally, the paper puts out.

3. Sallies mirror’s eye-shadow kept checking her out, behind her back. In the mirror one day, she caught it trying to see how brawd her shoulders were, her eye-shadow made her makeup. Blush, blushing on the floor, it started to talk-dirty, she couldn’t make-up her mind, whether to step on herself, nearly losing it, whether she liked it or not, telling it, I’m not for checking out, I’m booked, sorry, but I’m not the Shadow of your Love, I can’t really picture-myself with you, go join Guns N’Roses. Then at least you can blow the crowd away, her eye-shadow listens, joining the band, Sally yells out, finally, everybody is going to walk all over you, dirt-bag, Band, & their Song

4. A record player is breaking a ton of records, after, the tape sees a briefcase walking around the corner with its records, going to Tune Up a music store, it-runs. When it gets there, one of its CDs falls out. Then starts break-dancing, with many pieces.

5. Dumbo was wearing a very dumb-bow one Dark Knight, when he let Timothy the Mouse scare him, so Dumbo tried to blow-him up. Then he took off around the circus tent, running into the crowd, sitting down-up in the-stands. DIsney Characters

6. A cop nails a bunch of nuts, one ends up a screwed-driver.

7. The dog-tree barked, and barked, and barked, until it finally threw the cat out onto his tail-bone. Then the tree cracked-up, over it. The cat wasn’t able to stick around anymore. on its limps, so he quickly got out hi-sssssssss first aid kitty.

8. Some crayons are out drinking CrayCola with a bit of Orange ‘N Cream soda, Green Snapple, Red Rock and Mellow Yellow, some of the crayons weren’t as bright as their friends thought, as they started to crayon-box. Soda

9. A horny bull goes out into his garden to look at his fruit, when he sees a pumpkin is wearing a patch.Then the bull starts getting bully-ied by a bee, who just finished fixing his hair, with a honey-comb. Then the bull turns into Red Bull, stomping on the bees dear Honey.

10. The baker got really fired-up, at his boss, for bringing a Red-Bull, it was two-horny, giving him the look. He got really angry. Then started to whip the cream, tie the bread up, in fact he got so angry, he started to Pound-Cake.

11. A farmer goes to get his lawn moo-er and weed-eater out, after dinner, he gets ready to moo the lawn. Then his son steps out, asking to throw some pig-skin, his dad says no, you hogged the rest of the ham, while I was bacon, my temper is very heated up.

12. "I wonder why my Belch’s grape juice is laughing at me, Dad. Well, it might think you look like a joke, with all those holes in your shoes and hat, thinking your head has-left, am I- right? Dad, it could have seen you fighting those boxers this morning, for hiding the ring of yours, his Dad replies, it obviously could have seen your back-pack, for school.

13. A boy and his mother ate 3 Candy blox before they went to do their Rolos in a play. They were supposed to be dressed up sharp, looking hot, cooking-together, next to the oven. Themicro-wave shocked the boy’s mother, after she heard her son needed to have Surge-ery; after he swallowed 3 candy blox, but burped 7-Up. Soda & Candy

14. The chicken lost her eggs in the coop, with the others scrambling them up, for their break-fast. When she looked up, there fell won-ton of egg-drop soup.

15. The soldier was all bomb-ed out, for some reason, he was being a big-baby-powder, his temper had gotten so short, that he blew up. Later his mate found out, the entire month, he was going to be March-ing.

16. The rocking-horse was dancing with his friends, in his new shoes, he took a break. Then kicked-back, resting his hooves. Then started playing, when suddenly, his shoes started to hold-his-horses, getting the last laugh, sticking their tongues out at him, and his friends, after kicking him in the ass. Later his shoes were worn-out, spitting in his face, he punished them, by tieing them up outside the dancing-room.

17. The elephants bought a new Mustang, paying with penny-nuts. The Mustang had a huge amount of trunk-space to put his bows and clothes, it had plenty of horse-power, later it shot a needle at a clown’s fake nose, causing it to split, as it sat next to his laptop, clowning around. The clown gets very angry at the elephant, he couldn’t make-up his mind, whether to use the elephants huge trunk for his computer and equipment, he unplugs his mouse, throwing it In front of the elephant, a few hours later, scaring him, during a hard road-trip, that-fall. Car

18. Mrs. nail tells Mr. Hammer-head, if he doesn’t stop hitting on her, she’ll have to a-tac, sticking-up for herself, making sure he got the-point, that if he enjoyed nailing-girls, she’ll shoot him with a nail-gun.

19. A barracuda swims to a sale-fishes sale-boat on a hot fry-day, to get some fish-food, it starts weighing some fish on his-scales, he finishes weighing the fish on his scales, he pays with gold-fish, sand dollars and fish that change-color. Fish

20. Dracula’s mummy was having a spooktacular