Turning Points: Peer Support with a Strategy to Help Those Affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Ocd)

By Shannon Shy and Michael Jenike M.D.

OCD has the power to destroy lives like a hurricane filled with tornadoes. While OCD turns households and relationships upside down and affects all involved, only the sufferer understands what the intense personal emotional, mental, and physical pain feels like. It is through this lens of personal experience, of living in the hell pit and then determining how to crawl out, that Shannon Shy offers his personal insight.

In a comprehensive guide that provides peer support and a proven strategy for recovering from OCD, Shy relies on both his personal experiences and credentials as a certified peer recovery specialist to teach OCD sufferers how to summon the power and strength within to transform their perspective and get to a place where OCD does not adversely affect their lives. Through the included principles, exercises, practical tools, and real-life stories from those who have made significant strides in their own OCD recovery journey, Shy provides a roadmap of hope that shares valuable information about the growing discipline of peer support, insight into how to build a recovery foundation, his strategy to overcome OCD, motivation, encouragement, and tips for sufferers to self-motivate.

Turning Points shares principles, tools, and insight from an OCD survivor to help sufferers of OCD choose recovery over fear and get better.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Feb 18, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982263447

Shannon Shy

Shannon Shy is a retired United States Marine who is presently a civilian attorney with the Department of the Navy. A certified peer recovery specialist, he has written three books on overcoming OCD and provided peer support to hundreds of sufferers globally since 2016. Shannon served on the Board of Directors for the International OCD Foundation from 2011 to 2018, when he resigned to go serve in Afghanistan as a civilian advisor. He and his wife, Debbie, have three children and two grandchildren, and live in Dale City, Virginia.

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Copyright © 2021 Shannon Shy.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Illustrations by Sean Shinnock

ISBN: 978-1-9822-6342-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-6343-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-6344-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021902263

Balboa Press rev. date: 02/18/2021

CONTENTS

Foreword by Dr. Michael A. Jenike, M.D.

Preface

Chapter 1:What is Peer Support?: Help Through a Lived Experience

Chapter 2:Knowing How OCD Works Will Help You: The Power of Suggestion

Chapter 3:How OCD Tortured Me: Life in the Hell Pit

Chapter 4:The Episode that Triggered My Decision to Seek Help: Someone’s Bleeding to Death

Chapter 5:Building a Stable Foundation for Your Recovery: The Four Pillars and the Base

Chapter 6:Developing a Strategy: I know what I am supposed to do.

Chapter 7:Ground Rule 1: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect: Finally . . . True Liberation

Chapter 8:Ground Rule #2: Separation: I am not OCD. OCD is not me.

Chapter 9:Ground Rules 3, 4, & 5: Identify & Attribute, Allow, Resist: The Meat and Potatoes

Chapter 10:Implementation Techniques and Helpful Hints: Position Yourself to Win

Chapter 11:Family Members and Friends: How Can I Help?

Chapter 12:Quick Reminders for Success: The Go To List

About the Author

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

LET ME ACKNOWLEDGE THOSE, WHO have positively impacted my life and thus made this book possible, by expressing my gratitude. I am grateful for God’s grace and guiding hand. I am grateful for my immediate family– Debbie, Alex, Casey, Layla, Warren, Andrew, Kenzie, and Samantha. They are the focal point of my existence. I am grateful for all the amazing and wonderful people to whom I provide peer support. While none of us would wish OCD on our worst enemies, our mutual struggles brought us together and our bond will endure. I am grateful for the clinicians and peer clients who gave me critical reviews on the manuscript. I am grateful for Dr. Michael Jenike, M.D., who took time out of his busy schedule not only to review the manuscript, but also to write such a kind and impactful Foreword. I truly am honored and humbled he did this. I am grateful for Sean Shinnock for his amazing artwork throughout this book. Sean’s journey is truly inspirational, and his art captures the essence of a sufferer’s experience with OCD. I am grateful for the Marines and civilians who worked at the Marine Corps Eastern Area Counsel Office at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, where I worked when I was diagnosed in 1997, who provided me faithful support in the early stages of my fight against OCD. I am grateful for the lifelong friends from my childhood, high school, college, law school, the Marine Corps, the Department of Navy Office of General Counsel, the youth football and baseball communities, and my neighbors in Dale City, Virginia, with whom I share a lifetime of wonderful memories. I am grateful for Joe Galat, President, American Youth Football and Cheerleading, Inc., whose friendship, mentorship, and steadfast devotion to the concept of Giving Back continue to guide and inspire me. I am grateful for the Board of Directors and staff of the International OCD Foundation, whose tireless and heartfelt devotion to those who suffer, their families, and clinicians lifts people across the globe. I am grateful for the Board of Directors and staff of the Trillium Center, an impactful and giving mental health services non-profit in Woodbridge, Virginia. I am grateful for the Navy psychiatrists and psychologists and to the civilian psychiatrist who treated me. Your professionalism and wisdom helped put me back on my life path. Finally, I am grateful for my sisters (Sheri, Sandy, Sue, and Stacy), in-laws, cousins, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, and my mom (Trudy) and dad (Al). I send you my faithful and everlasting love. Mom and Dad, rest in peace. I hope my work has made you proud.

DEDICATION

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO those who suffer from OCD, their family members, and those who treat OCD, one of the most debilitating disorders on the planet. Throughout this book, you will see unedited messages from sufferers who I have worked with one-on-one or who follow my Facebook page. It is helpful and important to hear from them about the power of peer support.

I also dedicate this book to the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF). Before I wrote my first book in 2009 about my recovery, I had no insight into the vast community that OCD affects or the growing world of professional and personal support to help those who suffer (which includes family members and friends of those who have the disorder). In 2010 the IOCDF contacted me and asked me to be the Keynote Speaker at its annual conference to be held in Washington DC. I humbly accepted and the rest is history. In 2011 the IOCDF asked me to join its Board of Directors and I later had the honor to serve as the Board’s Secretary and President. Awesome does not begin to describe this group of compassionate caring people. My continued advocacy is a direct result of the people I have met through my association with the IOCDF. I encourage you to check out this amazing organization at www.iocdf.org.

Finally, I dedicate this book to Nathaniel Asselin and Riley Sisson, may they rest in peace. May God continue to comfort their families in their grief, and bless them for their tireless advocacy

A MESSAGE FROM STEWART

RICHARDS (ALABAMA, USA)

I began therapy for OCD in the fall of 2015. My therapist encouraged me to purchase both of Shannon Shy’s books: It’ll Be Okay and Hope Is on Your Side: A Motivational Journal for Those Affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I read It’ll Be Okay in one sitting. As my tears stained each page, I felt as though God had given me an incredible gift. I finally felt like someone else in the world truly understood how I felt. To learn that Shannon suffered deeply but was ultimately victorious in the battle against OCD gave me the hope I so desperately needed. I thought to myself I wish I could meet Shannon so that I could tell him he is my hero. While I had an amazing therapist, I longed for someone else to talk to outside of therapy who understood what I was going through.

Well, my wish came true! A few months into my recovery journey I discovered Shannon’s Facebook page. It was here that I learned about his peer support services. Once again, I felt like God was handing me another wonderful gift. I began peer support with Shannon in tandem with my weekly therapy sessions. When I saw Shannon’s face pop up on my computer screen for the first time, I couldn’t believe that I was actually talking to my hero! I knew right away that this guy was in my corner and would be there to see me through the road ahead. And that he did.

When I was afraid OCD was winning the battle, Shannon reminded me that OCD can be defeated and that I didn’t have to live in its shackles as long as I kept applying the simple strategy. When OCD produced thoughts that only seemed to be getting more horrific and terrifying, he reminded me that 0=0. When the pain and anxiety seemed too much to bear, he reminded me that my goal was long-term recovery and not immediate relief. When I cried tears of frustration with myself, he reminded me to be good to myself as I deserved compassion and understanding.

Shannon never let me give up hope that I could win the battle against OCD. While it took several months of hard work, I was ultimately victorious. I could never have done it without my peer support sessions with Shannon. To this day I am still in awe of not only his personal OCD story, but his ability to encourage, motivate, and inspire. He is and always will be my hero!

FOREWORD

By Dr. Michael A. Jenike, M.D.

SHANNON ASKED ME TO REVIEW his new book. I told him I had very limited time and could only skim it. I started to quickly review it and found it so compelling that I carefully read the whole book. I have known Shannon since he gave the Keynote address at the annual International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF) conference in 2010. His talk was masterful and enlightening. We have kept in close contact since. During the last decade Shannon joined the IOCDF Board of Directors. He contributed immensely and in 2016 he was elected to be the president of the Board.

Also in 2016, he became a peer recovery specialist where he would work with patients to help them take full advantage of OCD treatment resources. I have talked with many of his clients, and they rave about his success in helping them. Recognizing that he was getting amazing results, he decided to write this book. Now we can get an inside view of his remarkably successful approach. This book will be invaluable not only to patients and family members, but also to clinicians. Shannon himself was very ill with OCD and now is almost symptom free. This book offers NEW insights on OCD from someone who has been there and is now free, happy and helping others.

Dr. Michael Jenike, M.D.

Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

Founder: Massachusetts General Hospital Center for Obsessive Compulsive and Related Disorders

Founder: McLean Hospital Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Institute

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PREFACE

I PUBLISHED MY FIRST BOOK about my successful battle against OCD in 2009, a few months before the twelfth anniversary of my diagnosis, which was October 1997. By the time of my diagnosis, OCD had pretty much side-lined me, put me out of the game, as it were. I was on the verge of becoming non-functioning, a non-participant in everyday life. At the time, I was thirty-four years old, a U.S. Marine Corps Major on active duty serving at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. I had a wife of eight years and two young sons, ages five and one. OCD, the evil tyrant master, or beast as I often refer to it, was far advanced in its objective to ruin my life. I labored as OCD’s compliant victim; that is, its subservient and obedient slave. I suffered for many years not knowing what was wrong with me, but progressively recognizing and then knowing . . . definitely . . . something was wrong with me.

Before my diagnosis, I suffered primarily from intrusive thoughts and compulsions connected to a fear of harming others (people and pets), feeling responsible for the safety of others (again, both people and pets), and a fear of wavering from a strict moral code of always doing the right thing, which I also thought of as a fear of committing some moral or legal infraction that might damage my reputation and, as a result, disappoint those who knew me (except the pets, of course, but maybe in some sense, them too). Everything was a trigger. I had no refuge and no safe harbor from the thoughts, the anxiety, the fear, and this compelling need to do something to gain certainty or help solve or fix the problem to quell the fear and grant me the much desired immediate relief from the anxiety and the awful, painful associated physical symptoms.

Simply put, OCD was omnipresent — taunting me, torturing me, and crushing me in its ever-constricting vice-like grip. OCD had me trapped in its hell pit, as I not-so-fondly and quite accurately refer to it. I lived in a smothering world of seemingly endless loops of intrusive, disgusting, confusing, horrifying, and deplorable (this list of adjectives could go on) thoughts, emotions, and frustrating, embarrassing, and all-consuming behaviors.

The burdens of the world—especially if it involved the safety of children—became mine. I was on the edge of a total life collapse. I no longer wanted to leave my house (not an option when your military employer lawfully deems it a crime not to show up to work), and I no longer wanted human interaction. In fact, over a two-year period before my diagnosis, I secretly and daily entertained the idea that suicide would be better than the embarrassment, anguish, and pain