Heal Forward

By Pervis Taylor

Heal Forward is a brief and poignant guide to arm men with many of the practical tools necessary to successfully navigate through life.

"Healing isn't linear, it's continual," Pervis Taylor III shares in Heal Forward: his new book for men that follows the immensely successful Surthrival Mode. This book guides men and readers on a journey to wholeness and a maximized life using the 4 V's -- Vision, Verified, Voice, and Vulnerability.

Healing, like anything else, is a journey. It's been said that women heal with a future in mind and men heal with the past in mind. Ultimately, Pervis wants to convey that every man is entitled to have a beautiful future, but he must heal in order to obtain it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pervis Taylor
• Release date: Sep 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201239923

Book preview

Introduction

Hey there. I’m excited to be with you again. I haven’t been this exuberant in a long time. The last journey we took together was incredible. But all journeys must come to an end so that a new one can begin. The recent events of COVID, police brutalities against Black women and men, and political upheaval, have set us on a new journey of uncertainty. In spite of all these things we have a responsibility to grow, heal, thrive, be whole, and lead a maximized life. This is especially true for men, and more especially for Black men. We must create a new narrative, a new legacy, and a blueprint for the next generation to follow. The best thing we can offer anyone in this life is our healed and whole self.

The phrase Heal Forward had been in my head, heart, and spirit for about two weeks. It became flesh, so to speak, when I was in a Clubhouse room (an audio app) discussing the needs of successful women. Bashea Williams, an amazing clinician, made a statement that inspired this book: Women tend to heal toward a future, and men, depending on their age, heal to remedy the mistakes of their past. That’s when it clicked. Women tend to heal forward while men heal retrospectively. Men, it’s time to heal forward, with a future in mind!

I’d been planning to write another book for a while, but I hadn’t had the inspiration to write until that conversation in Clubhouse. I continued asking God for some titles and direction, and one day I was on the phone with fellow life coach and diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) expert, Dr. Angela Anderson. I made my statement about healing forward. She said, Pervis, why don’t you just call the book Healing Forward and talk about what it is and how to do it? BAM! And here we are.

I’ve been a life coach, speaker, mental health-wellness guy for over ten years. I’ve always been passionate about improving the lives of people, especially men. When I think about my life and the lives of countless men who never knew healing was possible for them, I feel such a sense of urgency to get this message out. My previous book, Surthrival Mode, was such a blessing to many—it reached international territory. I’ve received countless emails from men and women on how my Four A’s — Acknowledgment, Acceptance, Articulation, and Alchemy — have really helped improve their lives. Marriages were restored, broken relationships mended, and countless men now seek professional therapy. I’m extremely grateful for that. However, I understand that’s there so much more territory to cover. Surthrival Mode taught you how to heal and begin the journey of thriving. Heal Forward will teach you how to live out the healing. I’ve included some personal photos to show you how choosing to heal forward has changed my own life too.

With this new book, we will explore the four V’s of healing forward:

Vision

Verified

Voice

Vulnerability

I believe that as a society, we are traveling toward a new horizon—we are deconstructing hegemonic masculinity, from which we get the derivatives of patriarchy and toxic masculinity. In exchange for the old narrative, we are now potentially on the precipice of healthy masculinity. This entails men enjoying their masculinity without connecting it to dominance, finances, power, sexual conquests, or physical prowess. Instead, it’s tied to being self-actualized beyond provision—being emotionally whole and being excellent husbands, fathers, friends, and human beings.

Providing is important—I want to make that clear. However, we men are so much more than providers. It’s my desire that by the end of reading this book, you’ll know an abundant life is waiting for you, and that life can contain joy, peace, and fulfillment. But here’s the caveat: what are you willing to do to get it? And who are you willing to become to get it? The answer: heal forward.

In the next few pages, we’ll explore what healing looks like, and explore the tools and language used to move forward. You and I—we—can have an excellent future. It is possible. We are possible. You are possible—full of possibilities. As you turn the page, commit yourself to be intentional and open-minded.

Let’s begin. Be amazing!

Pervis III

1

What Does Heal Forward Look Like?

Stop hiding your scars and your wounds. They’re your trophies. You went through that and still survived.

—T. D. Jakes

It’s important that we men embrace this truth: as long as we are intentional about improving ourselves, no matter how great or small, we are ahead of the game.

Whether you’re eighteen or eighty, you’ve more than likely had some setbacks and pain. However, there’s still life left to live. You get the blessed opportunity of creating that life. As I say often in my workshops, life happens to us, but life also happens from us! I think that when we hear things like heal forward or doing the work, the words often seem high and lofty, but I’ll use them to showcase what healing forward looks like.

A Life of Obstacles

I’m a man of faith; I believe in Christ. I understand that everyone doesn’t believe as I do. That’s okay! But I couldn’t think of a better story of healing forward than Joseph’s—from the Bible.

Joseph was a dreamer who had a vision that one day he’d be in a position of power, and that his brothers would bow to him. Now that’s not a dream or vision you typically share, but Joseph thought it was cool to share that dream with his brothers. Needless to say, they weren’t really