Sugar High Angels

By Aisling Black

Sugar High Angels is one little soul's experience navigating mental illness, dreams, growing older, and finding and defining beliefs. This collection includes short stories, free verse poetry, journal entries, and haiku. Some of the poems are autobiographical, some of the

• Language: English
• Publisher: Moonchilde Books
• Release date: Oct 31, 2021
• ISBN: 9781088006467

Book preview

Sugar High Angels

"Without contraries is no progression.

Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate,

are necessary to human existence."

---

William Blake

Third Eye Blues

There is twisting and twirling in your mind

There is a burning hurt in the center of the forehead

The emergence of what can see, ghosts

And what none can perceive but what you can

You can see the ash in the atmosphere

You can see the blood in the water

You can see the flowers blooming in other souls

This world is savage and beautiful all at once

But when you can feel it all

You feel it all

You cannot concentrate on life itself

Only the vibrations all around you

Although you have the third-eye sight

You cannot help but become blind in a strange way

A lost and lonely soul too plugged in

Too connected and you find yourself drowning

Drowning in the gift you’ve been cursed with

Unfortunate child, my tears won’t darken your third eye

Only the mortal eyes become black and bleary

My Love to you, the Fae

Slipping daintly by

Pearlescent wings make a small twinkling sound

I can see your rings and flower homes

I love you all, even though you don’t want me

I tried to join you

I drank the nectar of that particular purple weed

I tried to let myself turn wilde,

I tried to let the earth encompass every inch of me

But all that became of me was rabies of the soul

I couldn’t handle the magick in my current form

All I can do is wish and dream of joining you

But your endless life moves slower than mine

I am merely a whisper to you

Your eyes can see everything

I was warned to stay away

But I became greedy to know you more

I suppose I deserve what I became

No sweet Fae-Folk am I

Even if I hear your voices

Even if I see you from time to time

I am never to be with you truly

M.M

As beautiful as can be

Treated like a sore by those who kept the words

All the coin, yet all the care

Washing away all doubt

A wilting relation

Green eyes stalk every move

Every breath is taken in splendor

The love of the holiest

In the end, she wishes

For her palms to bleed

For her death in place of his

But when he rises again she can see

Truly see

And after that everything is different

There is fire in her eyes

The fire of that which is honored

She knows it by name

She is its heart

Gift of the Forest

In the woods to the north

I tied white rope tightly around fir trees

I beat my knuckles against the rough trunks

I carved my own language into the pine needle floor

Distant power seeping from the runes

I climbed trees hiding from the water rising

The killer is in my lungs and brain

I escape to the north woods to forget

To feel life by weaving flowers into my hair

My dilated eyes trace the veins of leaves

Numb fingertips prod through my mouth

Deer stop and stare, beautiful little angels

The green gods are there

And they always listen

I consume the quiet rhythm of the forest

The ghostly ruins of my own life are still in that place

There I am the crowned ruler

There I am the bleary-eyed dreamweaver

I can lose my elder skin in those north woods still

Become a young tawny sapling again

It’s dangerous and a gift

Risen

I press the blood on my palm onto your forehead

You don’t even flinch

We find ourselves so high on a hill

We rise like wooden crosses

Made of the pieces of broken cities

I wish I could protect you from the afterglow

The sacred urn before us holds all of our fates ashes

I know that we’ll find nourishment in the flesh of flowers

Our hearts beat at the same rhythm, often too fast

We run through the darkness, and flit through daylight, blind

The feelings arise like the tides

Guided by the moon and gravity

We cannot deny our affection

Its the universe speaking through mutilated lips

Red strings tied tightly

Turns the flesh lily-white

Burns everything pure

I swear to god that my possession will not seep

Overflow the vessel and run blood into the seas

We sign our names with bone and black ink

Sacred \Geometry

All angles of a short quick breath

Running perfectly straight towards light

Feeling the love from above

And knowing that all you do is divine

Terrestrial love isn’t enough for you any longer

Dirt no longer nourishing

Perfect, Perfectly, and Perfection

A waltz defined through god’s math

Even when your wings melt you fall in such a heavenly pattern

You turned away from the shadow show

You cut every vertex like thick meat

Your instruments are sharper than the tongue

All the wars you imagine

Manifest in numbers and symbols

Your fingers are pointed like sewing needles

You point to the map and tell travelers where to begin

Love Maker

I raised my arm into the moonlight

It spilled into the room like a silver sea

My flesh melted away to reveal tiny delicate bones

This shared hallucination was in the first months

Two creatures of bones and flesh

Sleepy and romantic

I swore I could hear tiny chimes

And the message came through so clear

Stay here they whisper

I make promises, to you and myself

Twirling my fingers around your hair

Cross my fingers as I wish

That you will cover these bones in gold and jewels

Keep me at this moment

Keep my mind like a saints body

And then the years pass

And I still feel the same as that night

The night my body crumbled before our eyes

Female

Your woman-ness might take a feral hue

You mustn’t ever dampen that vibration

No matter how high the worlds noose rides on your neck

The world will choke you as you feel

Feel the need to cut, burn or starve

But remember that you own yourself

And you don’t owe the executioner

Instead, turn that worry stone over in your hand

Lick the salt away from your wounds

Taste, Feel and Love as you wish

Take in sour and sweet

Remember you are always a child in this universe

And even when it is ugly it is beautiful

Embrace what may be seen as your dangerous traits

Wear your own photo in an invisible locket

Do not waste even a moment

With anyone who seeks to water you down

You deserve to be rabid

Shouldn’t Talk About

He wears marks of sin on his arm

Tells only falsehoods through ophidian tongue

I did not know how to walk away

If only I had known it was just as easy

As walking away

I thought it was all suitable and ignored ennui

Couldn’t hear the sad keys playing behind every interaction

Tried to bite my tongue rather than see stars

I was easy prey

I was so fragmented then

My eyes circled back in my head

After every strike, every touch

How could I stay when I loathed it so much?

You wonder how I ignored what was obvious?

It was harder than leaving

Though people often say otherwise

I was told tangling lies it took a while to decipher

I didn’t want to admit such things were possible in my life

Certainly, it couldn’t be true

I took the largest bite of the apple

Couldn’t seal the box once it was breached

I became the villain in my own fabrication

And that’s what I cannot forget

That’s what I cannot forgive

Medicated

My friends in my head are not in my head

They fade with fear

I can hear their pleas as they disappear

You’ll never know the truth again they whisper

Death rattles of not just the wicked but also the heavenly ones

There’s so much static that I dread it’s true what they say

I’ll never be able to hear the messages from god again

What if I miss a warning?

What about my friends?

Those who have been there since I was so young

How can I turn my back on them?

I sense it’s greedy and unfair

Stability or ties lost to the only way of living I’ve