Grief Stricken Choices

By A. R. Tanner

Colt Westphall is a broken man. A tragic accident tore everything he cared about from him, causing him to go into a major depressive drinking binge, ignoring all responsibility. On the verge of losing everything he owns, he pulls himself out of his stupor, trying to catch up. But putting faith in a friend’s hands lands him in major trouble with the infamous Lincoln Reeves. While struggling to get himself out of this mess, Colt’s brother, the only family he has left, gets dragged in the middle. Can Colt save his assets, ante up with Lincoln, and save his brother?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 18, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664111943

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 by A. R. Tanner.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 10/15/2021

Xlibris

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Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Dedications

This book is dedicated to my daddy. The moment he left, he took a piece of me with him.

In Loving Memory

Dennis Randall Tanner

August 22, 1953 ~ May 26, 2020

I’d like to give a huge thanks to a certain group of my friends that have given their support and helped me get through everything. Thank you for help with ideas, opinions, and criticism. I couldn’t have gotten here without you.

Also, a special thanks to my husband, Jeff, who helped make this all happen and supported me 100%. Thank you and love you so much!

Chapter One

As he stared at himself in the mirror, he didn’t even recognize the man that stared back at him. His once vibrant green eyes seemed dull, and there was a faint darkness under them from lack of sleep. He hadn’t slept more than an hour at a time since the accident. His smile that had once been captivating with pearly whites was now a constant frown that reflected the sorrow in his eyes. The only time his hair got any attention was when it was being washed in the shower. But that morning, he forced himself to run a comb through it and apply some hair gel so he didn’t look as if he had just rolled out of bed. He didn’t want anyone to know just how close he was to losing it.

He picked up the Scope bottle on the sink and swished it around in his mouth a few times, making sure no one could smell the whiskey on his breath. There was a knock on the door. Colt, it’s time to go, his brother, Jared, said. Colt pulled the chain around his neck from under his shirt and held his wedding ring in his fingers. After a moment, he tucked it back in, and then gave himself one last look in the mirror. He decided he looked as good as he was going to get and opened the bathroom door where Jared was waiting for him.

Looking at the two brothers, it was hard to tell they were related. Colt was thirty-one, four years older than Jared. Although younger, Jared was much taller, standing six foot five while Colt was six foot one. Colt was muscular and stocky, Jared, tall and lean, but both were in exceptional shape. They both had the same medium brown colored hair, Colt’s cut short while Jared’s was a little shaggy. Jared had the same green eyes as Colt. For the funeral, they were both dressed in suit and ties. They didn’t dress nice very often because it just wasn’t their style. Colt’s suit was black pants, white dress shirt, black jacket with a black tie, which he hated ties. Jared’s suit mimicked his except his was a dark gray color. They both worked as mechanics at one of the car shops in town, Colt being head mechanic. He started at the shop when he was just eighteen. Their father had worked there many years before his death a few years back.

Jared drove them to the funeral home. Over halfway there, there was nothing but silence. Jared asked, You okay?

Staring out the window, Colt sighed. I’m fine. But Jared knew otherwise. He hated that his brother was hurting.

When they got to the funeral home, several people were already there. Colt was pulled in for several hugs as he made his way through the crowd and was asked again and again if he was okay. He lied to them as they asked. Did they really expect him to be? He swore that he was going to punch the next person who asked if he was okay in the face. He didn’t understand why people asked that when there was a funeral. When asked, the person in question always said they were okay. But what if they said no? What could someone possibly say to make them feel better? Nothing they say could take away the hurt. Colt wanted to hurry and get out of there away from everyone.

Colt finally made his way to the sanctuary of the church, and then he saw them. Two coffins. One big. One small. Two coffins that held the bodies of his wife, Audrey and their five-year-old son, Zackary. He felt like someone’s hand was in his chest squeezing his heart. His breaths deepened, and he fought hard to keep the tears in. The coffins were closed, and he couldn’t take his eyes off them. He just stood there frozen.

Hey, you okay? Jared was suddenly beside him. Aggravated now, Colt turned to him and in a low but harsh voice said, Dude, you ask me that one more time and I’ll... His threat was cut short when his father-in-law walked up to say, The ceremony is about to begin. Kevin walked past the brothers and took a seat in the front pew.

Audrey’s father never liked Colt. He blamed Colt for her decision not to finish college and pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor. Colt and Audrey did things out of order. They were together eight months when she got pregnant with Zackary. And when Zack was a year old, they finally decided to get married. Kevin hated it. Audrey’s brother, Lucas, sat down between his parents and Colt. He was the same age as Colt, three years older than Audrey. He and Colt got along okay but only associated because of his sister.

Audrey had attended church every Sunday, and the preacher stood before them and said many nice things about her. Colt had only gone a few times with her and Zack, but he usually just stayed home. Listening to him describe his experiences of his wife and son, Colt could barely handle it. His head pounded from trying to hold back tears, and his mouth craved more whiskey. When the preacher was finished with the ceremony, they opened the caskets for viewing and played music that made many shed tears. Colt stared over at the coffins. He hadn’t been able to look at them yet, and he really didn’t want to. But when it came time, he got up with the rest of her family. He felt like an outcast with them and always had. Kevin made sure of that. He was last to view his wife and son. Jared stayed by his side because he knew his brother needed him.

He looked at Audrey first. She didn’t look real. She looked like a mannequin that had Audrey’s face and hair. Then he looked at Zackary. He looked the same as his mother. Fake. And Colt just lost it. A tear rolled out of each of his eyes, and he said, I have to get out of here. He grabbed Jared’s arm. Get me out of here. Please. Jared looked around for an exit door. He found one to the left of them and pulled Colt along. No one noticed them slip outside. Colt leaned against the wall and slid down, his face in his hands. He silently cried, tears pouring out now. Jared didn’t know what to do. He wanted to comfort his brother but didn’t know how so he just sat down beside him.

After a few minutes, Colt pulled himself together and wiped the tears from his face. He looked at Jared and said, I don’t know if I can do this, Jared.

What do you mean?

What am I supposed to do now?

Jared pondered on the answer to that question. You live your life. Day by day. And with each day it’ll get a little easier. You’ll see. And remember, you’re my brother. I’m always here for you. Always have been and always will.

Colt looked at his brother. I know. Thanks, Jared. They sat in silence for a while, and Colt decided he shouldn’t be gone for too long, so they went around to the front of the church. Colt couldn’t bring himself to go back into the church, so he lingered outside where a couple people were caught in conversation while waiting to head to the cemetery.

He managed to keep himself together at the grave site as they laid his heart and soul six feet in the ground. His gaze was past the coffins, deeper into the cemetery as he listened to the preacher once again. He saw a vision of Zack from the last time they were there. Colt had gone about two months before to clean up his father’s grave and take flowers. He watched in a daze as Zack ran in a circle around the headstones and weaved in and out of them, holding his arms out like he was an airplane. He was smiling an innocent smile, and the sunlight shined down on his light brown hair making it seem as if there was a natural glow to him. It was almost as if he was truly there. Colt closed his eyes tight. After about five seconds, he opened them back up, and Zackary was gone. His heart started pounding in his chest, and he wondered if he was going crazy. It looked so real. He felt relieved, but disappointed at the same time.

Four Days Earlier

Colt, you’re gonna be late, Jared hollered from across the shop. Colt was finishing up an oil change. It was six thirty, and he was supposed to meet Audrey at home so they could go to open house at the school for Zack’s pre-kindergarten class at seven o’clock.

I know, Colt called back. He had planned on leaving and being home by six, but they were behind at the shop. At six forty-five he called Audrey. Hey honey, I know I’m late. You and Zack go ahead, and I’ll run home, take a quick shower, and meet you there. Okay?

Okay, I’ll see you there. Love you.

I love you too. He hung up the greasy shop phone and clocked out. He jumped in his truck and headed home. When he got there, he jumped into the shower and quickly washed away all the soot and grease. He got dressed and got back in his truck to go to the school. On his way there, he tried to call Audrey’s cell to let her know he was on his way, but he got her voicemail. Audrey, I’m on my way. He hung up and then shortly after, it rang. He didn’t recognize the number. Hello?

Colt? The voice sounded frantic and familiar, a woman’s voice, but he couldn’t place it.

Yeah, he answered, a little alarmed.

This is Ellen. Ellen Gilbert. It suddenly clicked. Ellen lived two houses down from them. She went to church with his wife. There’s been an accident. It’s Audrey and Zack.

What is it? He was suddenly worried and tense.

They were hit by a truck at the light on the highway. The ambulance is fixing to take them to the hospital now. Colt...it’s really bad.

Without thinking, Colt hung up and pressed his foot harder on the gas, headed toward the hospital. He parked in front of the emergency room doors in the No Parking zone and ran inside.

At the front desk, he said, I got a call saying my wife and son were being brought here by ambulance from a car accident. She started typing on her computer and said, "They just