Grief Recovery: A Workbook for Widows and Widowers

By Robyn Ledwith Mar

Grief Recovery
A Workbook for Widows and Widowers

This workbook concentrates on the grief experiences of widows and widowers and guides them through 10 weeks of sharing and learning about their personal journey through grief. It is most effective in a group but also suitable for the individual reader. The workbook has been used in churches for many years. This revised edition includes new material.

I was widowed with two small children when I went to Robyn’s grief group. The Grief Recovery Workbook gave me insight and understanding of the grieving process. By working through the book and sharing my grief with others, I was able to recover and find a new life. Diane Ullom, Elder, Menlo Park Presbyterian Church, Menlo Park, California.

I was stunned by the severity of my grief following the death of my husband. Attending this group and using this workbook over the years enabled me to navigate through my grief. Since then, I have seen many widows and widowers gain an understanding of their grief while walking through their own personal grief journey. Merrilee Harter Mitchell, Elder, Stephen Minister and Coordinator/Facilitator of Widows/Widowers Grief Recovery of the East Bay, Oakland, California

I would recommend this book to anyone suffering the loss of a spouse at any stage of recovery. Don Schreiber, retired engineer, Los Altos, California

 

Grief Recovery
A Workbook for Widows and Widowers

Includes:
Week 1 The Loss - Numbness and Shock
Week 2 Facing Our Loss - How we and others are not prepared to deal with loss
Week 3 When the Grief Returns - Realizing the full extent of our loss
Week 4 The Journey Through Grief - Understanding our personal grief journey
Week 5 Choosing to Recover - Taking responsibility for our recovery
Week 6 Reconciling with the Past - Understanding our past losses
Week 7 Turning the Corner - Starting to look toward the future
Week 8 Finding a New Place in Life - Discovering new roles
Week 9 Building a New Life - Integrating the past with the future
Week 10 Getting Back in Balance - Moving beyond loss
Plus: How to Survive the Holidays
Frequently asked Questions
A Christian Perspective of the Grieving Process
How to Start and Lead a Widows and Widowers Ministry at your Church

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9781665538572

Robyn Ledwith Mar

Robyn Ledwith Mar is a graduate of Stanford University, a breast cancer survivor, the mother of four adult children and has six grandchildren. She was widowed at age 56 and was asked by her pastor to start a support group for other widows and widowers in her church. Based on her own grief and loss experience and research into the grieving process, she wrote Grief Recovery: A Workbook for Widows and Widowers, followed by The Next Step: Moving On, and How to Recover from Loss for other losses. Her second husband, Mun J Mar, died in May 2018 and she has moved to Southern California.

Book preview

GRIEF RECOVERY

A Workbook for Widows and Widowers

Revised Edition

Robyn Ledwith Mar

THERE IS HOPE

YOU CAN RECOVER

YOU WILL SURVIVE AND LIVE AGAIN

Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Matthew 5: 4 (NIV)

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© 2021 Robyn Ledwith Mar. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  04/13/2022

ISBN: 978-1-6655-3858-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-3857-2 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in

this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views

expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views

of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International

Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.

Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright

© 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960,

1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

I would like to thank Merrilee Harter Mitchell for her dedication to this

ministry and her invaluable assistance in revising this updated edition.

Contents

Introduction

Scripture

Week 1     The Loss - Numbness and Shock

Acknowledging the initial impact of our loss

Week 2     Facing Our Loss

How we and others are not prepared to deal with loss

Week 3     When the Grief Returns

Realizing the full extent of our loss

Week 4     The Journey Through Grief

Understanding our personal grief journey

How long will it take to recover?

Week 5     Choosing to Recover from the Pain of Grief

Taking responsibility for our recovery

Week 6     Reconciling with the Past

Understanding our past losses

Learning to say goodbye

Week 7     Turning the Corner

Starting to look toward the future

Week 8     Finding a New Place in Life

Making the necessary changes in our lives

Discovering new roles

Week 9     Building a New Life

Integrating the past with the future

Week 10   Getting Back in Balance

Moving beyond loss

A Christian Perspective of the Grieving Process

Common Grief Reactions

Writing a Goodbye Letter

A Quick Look at Your Personality Style

How to Survive the Holidays

Frequently Asked Questions

How to Start and Lead a Widows and Widowers Ministry at Your Church

Bibliography and Suggested Reading

Introduction

This workbook was originally written for the Menlo Park Presbyterian Church Widows and Widowers Support Group of Menlo Park, California. It was designed to provide structure for members of a support group so that issues associated with grieving could be better understood and recovery from the pain of grief could be accelerated.

The purpose of this support group was to provide a safe place for widows and widowers to express their emotions, to share their experiences of deep grief, to understand their grief journey, and to help them look forward to new lives. The fact that it was not a professional therapy group seemed to give the group members a greater sense of freedom in opening their lives to one another. Through the discussion and sharing, those in the group were able to find comfort and begin their recovery.

The premise of the workbook is that we can recover from the pain of grief. After the death of my husband in 1983, when I was 56 years old, I began my own journey toward recovery. Through this time, God brought me back to Himself and into the family of His church. He provided friends who listened and cared, and prayer partners who helped me work through the grief.

In 1990 I was asked by my pastor to start a Grief Support Group for Widows and Widowers at the church. I did research, read books, and took notes. The result was the first workbook which was written in 1993, printed, used in groups, and formally published by AuthorHouse in 2010. The purpose of this revision is to bring the book up to date with some changes in current thinking about the journey through grief.

My experiences with sharing in support groups have convinced me that this is the heart of recovery. It is gratifying to see the progress that group members make in even 10 weeks, and if they continue to use the workbook as their companion on their grief journey, it will be exciting to see the changes in their lives.

The death of a spouse is one of the most difficult things we will ever experience. It is physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausting. The bereaved feel lost, traumatized, and stunned. But with God’s help and the support of others who understand the pain, those who have losses can be given the hope that they will recover. I believe that together they can work through the grieving process and will not only survive, but fully live again.

The best description of this support program can be