Bogus Business Unlimited: Eggy Mess

By Yvonne Toner

OUCH is for ouchy hot. Russell Sprout, owner of Rotten Roots & Co, never to let a crooked deal slip by, has a perfect customer in mind for his next batch of stolen wares. One could argue that a green fashion and beauty monster, otherwise known as Vile Verruca, or Wicked Witch of All things East, needs a little help from the Universe when it comes to reversing her wrinkles, as casting spells from the deep corners of her mind didn’t seem to work anymore. Not to worry. Mr Sprout and his lumpy, flowery vegetable brother soon get the Sludge Slitherer in full gluping motion, resulting in something that looks rather terrifrying.  

SOLD once again by a load of gullible nonsense, the Bogus team set out to trial their rainbow technology. That is until stumbling upon Ink Squid and Dusty Prints, which sends them on an unexpected circling island adventure as special VIP guests, across the Sea of Halibut. As they are ushered up into Nutty Yew Forest by a bunch of sticky bob things, they eventually meet their welcome party. Why does everything go so WONG? Not another eggy mess. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd
• Release date: Nov 13, 2021
• ISBN: 9781800466944

Book preview

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Bogus Business Unlimited

Eggy Mess

By Yvonne Toner

Copyright © 2021 Yvonne Toner

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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ISBN 9781800466944

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For Josie

Thank you to all broomstick holders including UFBOs, Professor Lyra on Planet Sirius, Captain Nordic in Atlantis, and to all those scabby little elves who are always on twilight duty, sticking toilet rolls up the exhaust pipes of mighty flying machines, especially that belong to vile witches.

Contents

1.All the Fun at the Fair

2.Noshing Nonsense & Blingy Blindness

3.Chilli Power

4.The Anti-Cruster

5.Lavish Avenue

6.The Dawning of a New Unhinged Business

7.Bogus Tours

8.Back at Apple Catcher Cottage

9.Devil’s Rock

10.The Sinking Mermaid

1

All the Fun at the Fair

The Broom Boomers blasted Verruca’s favourite witchy tune while Hoodoo zumbered to the beat, tapping his paws doing the frog-leg dance, tightly clasping his claws around the broomstick. The Witch was speeding. Again. Ooopps! She flipped up the ‘MS V1LE’ number plate on the Broom Transporter, spotting a road traffic camera ahead. The camera flashed at the unidentified flying object.

Shake a little… yeh, yeh, frogs’ legs! Shakey shakey shakey…yeah yeah, howled the Witch.

"Huh?" She suddenly realised the super sweeping broom was hurtling towards the patchwork quilt of Jingly Pots a little too fast.

"The handbrake’s not working!"

SCRREEEECCHHH… BOOSH!

Welcome to the Ghost Chilli Noodle Eating Festival, announced the automated robotic voice from the logic board, blissfully unaware that they had just missed the dodgem cars and carousel. The Witch adjusted her pointy hat whilst initiating the tiny windscreen wipers on her goggles to remove the dusty debris. The crew looked at one another speechless but not necessarily in disbelief. After all, you were flying with a witch who hadn’t passed her test on a mighty flying machine.

Twonk broke the silence. Hey, kinda handy that automated thingy, referring to the ouchy hot, recently fitted device that Toad had wired up to the logic board. Tells you when you’ve crashed and everything.

The fair was filled with bustling stalls, strange beings and family jangling fun in the middle of Jingly Pots. The trusty vegetable followed behind with his delivery truck. ‘Rotten Roots & CO. Let Your Business Sprout’, fully loaded with Dump-It Services. The portable toilets had been