The Old Testament - A Precis

By Michael Parker

This précis is a light-hearted attempt to make the Old Testament into a readable document for people who are interested but do not have the inclination to take the time to read it. It would be enjoyable as an introduction to the Bible. It is not aimed at serious students of the Bible or religion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Book Printing UK
• Release date: Aug 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9781911113560

Book preview

The Old Testament

Genesis And Exodus

In the beginning God created the Heavens and Earth, in seven days and seven nights. He created Man, Adam, and from Adam’s rib he created Man’s companion – woman. And Adam knew Eve, his wife and she bore two sons, Cain and Abel, the first population of the world. (To me this seems to be a problem as concerns Judaic morality which forbids incest – I’m not certain what to call having a sexual relationship with what is essentially oneself!)

And Cain slew Abel in a fit of jealousy and was cast out as a vagabond ‘and the Lord set a mark upon Cain, lest anyone finding him should kill him’. (But where would such people come from?)

Cain went to dwell in the land of Nod, and knew his wife (where did she come from?) Who produced their son Enoch. Cain built a city which he called after his son Enoch. They had several other children who in turn multiplied.

Adam lived 936 years, and his sons and grandsons and great-grandsons all managed some 800 to 900 years.

In due course God became fed up with the wickedness of mankind and decided to destroy them and all the living creatures which he had created on the third day. But Noah had found grace in the eyes of the Lord and was given a blueprint for an ark which he should build, in which to be saved from the flood, he and his wife and two of every living creature. He took them into the ark together with sufficient food. Noah was already 600 years old when given this challenge. It rained for 40 days and 40 nights, and only the inhabitants of the ark survived. On the 47th day he sent out a dove which returned with an olive leaf, so that Noah knew that the floods had receded (obviously the olive tree had not been destroyed). Some weeks later, when the Earth had dried out God told Noah to go forth into the world with all the creatures from the ark. And God promised that he would never again send such a flood, and as a token of this pledge he would place a rainbow in the sky. Noah lived to 950 years.

The succeeding generations multiplied considerably and all spoke with one tongue, and they decided to build a city with two towers which would reach to Heaven. God decided that this was going too far, and as punishment decided to confound their speech and scatter them abroad. They abandoned the half-built city which was called Babel because ‘the Lord did there confound their language’.

Then there follows a mass of ‘begats’.

Amongst them was Abram, who with his wife, Sarah and their family departed into the land of Canaan and thence into Egypt. After further wanderings the Lord made a covenant with Abram ‘unto thy seed have I given this land, from the land of Egypt unto the great River Euphrates’ (seems rather bad luck on the inhabitants of those areas). But as part of this covenant ‘every man child amongst you shall be circumcised’. And from then on Abram should be called Abraham.

Lott and his wife were at Sodom, which the Lord had decided to destroy on account of its wickedness. They were warned to leave the city and escape, but must not look behind as they fled. The Lord rained on Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire. Unfortunately Lott’s wife turned around to look at this destruction and for which she was turned into a ‘pillar of salt’. After further wanderings Abraham in his old age had a son by Sarah, his wife, whom they called Isaac. And God tempted Abraham by telling him to offer his son, Isaac, as a burnt offering. To show his obedience to God Abraham took his knife and was about to kill his son when an angel appeared to advise a reprieve.

Isaac had two sons, Esau the eldest and Jacob. On his deathbed he called Esau to hunt some venison to bring him to eat and be able to bless Esau before dying. But when Jacob told his mother, Sarah, of this she determined to obtain the blessing for Jacob rather than Esau. Esau was a hairy man, whilst Jacob was smooth, so Sarah arranged for Jacob to put on a skin of goat and Esau’s clothes, and to take food into Abraham who would be deceived and give Jacob the blessing. This ruse was successful, but when Esau returned Isaac realised that he had been duped and was horrified. But he promised Esau that in the end he would get even with his brother Jacob. In due course Jacob found favour with God and became called ‘Israel’.

Then follows a chronology of heated battles between the various offspring of Israel, with lots of rapes and murders which make the James Bond novels seem tame. And lots more begats.

Jacob came