The Power of Forgiveness: One Woman's Story of Narrow Escape from The Rwanda Genocide of 1994 against Tutsi, Domestic Violence in America and Epic Redemption

By Elyvanie Mukangoga

Be Empowered by Forgiveness

This book is about a beautiful, enriching, breathtaking, and resilient true-life story of Elyvanie Mukangoga.

After suffering and losing so much, she encountered a voice of God, which told her to forgive in order to be worthy of living. When she heard that voice, she asked, "Forgive what

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Feb 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781640889927

Elyvanie Mukangoga

Elyvanie Mukangoga is a licensed vocational nurse, a recording artist of The Power of Forgiveness CD songs, and a mother of three, living happily in California. But her life wasn't always so thriving. She escaped and survived the Rwanda genocide of 1994 against Tutsi, in whichher family was practically wiped out. Leaving Rwanda for the United States thirty years ago at the age of twenty-one, she hoped to return and unite with her family again. Unfortunately, she walked straight into a marriage fraught with domestic violence, rape, and daily emotional battery and was never able to return to Rwanda and see her parents again. The fractures in her mind and body were further compounded by church leaders who caused her to believe that "divorce was a sin." Her story of forgiveness against those who wronged her is epic, making this a book you just can't put down.

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Trilogy Christian Publishers

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Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2020 by Elyvanie Mukangoga

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

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For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Manufactured in the United States of America

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-64088-991-0 (Print Book)

ISBN 978-1-64088-992-7 (ebook)

Meet the Author

Elyvanie Mukangoga is a licensed vocational nurse, a recording artist of The Power of Forgiveness CD songs, and a mother of three, living happily in California. But her life wasn’t always so thriving. She escaped and survived the Rwanda genocide of 1994, in which her family was practically wiped out. Leaving Rwanda for United States thirty years ago at age of twenty-one, she hoped to return and unite with her family again. Unfortunately, she walked straight into a marriage fraught with domestic violence, rape, and daily emotional battery and was never able to return to Rwanda and see her parents again. The fractures in her mind and body were further compounded by church leaders who caused her to believe that divorced was a sin. Her story of forgiveness against those who wronged her is epic, making this a book you just can’t put down.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. After all those difficult years, He allowed me to write this book! All glory belongs to Him.

I also dedicate this book to my parents, Daniel Ruhumuliza and Thamar Mukandagano, who died too soon before I could share my adulthood with them. Their life story will be forever be told.

I also dedicate this book to my sisters who died too young in the 1994 Genocide, Niyongira Uwamahoro Esperence, known as Maduguli, and Marceline Umutesiwase and to my brothers, Marcel Uhoraningoga, who went to be with the Lord in October 2014, and Ivody Hakizimana, who went to be with the Lord in October 1992. Also to my other brothers, Dr. Nelson Mbarushimana and Umuhire Ndamwizeye, who are both living presently and to my one living sister, Evelyne Mukasonga.

I dedicate this to my children Ada, Jean-Pierre, and Olivier, who made me the mother that I am today.

I dedicate this book to those who have lost their loved ones during the 1994 Rwandan genocide against Tutsi, including all the orphans and widows and all the victims of domestic violence.

Thank you to all my friends, who encouraged me along the way and this publishing company. I went through so many publishers who stole thousands from me and finally found one who saw great value in my story.

Colossians 2:14:

"[He] canceled the charges which

condemned us, he took them away and

nailed them to the cross."

Introduction

I am a Rwanda genocide survivor, battered woman, single mother, and professional licensed vocational nurse (LVN).

I lived happily and peacefully with my family throughout my young life. It was not until I set foot in America that I became a slave—not by white slave masters on plantation, but under my own husband and religious leaders who enabled him.

The purpose of this book is to educate and edify others using my personal experience here in the United States. As you read through my story, you will see multiple incidences of mistakes I made. This book is designed to help the reader recognize the difference between God’s actual rescue and abuse.

My hope is that this book empowers, motivates, and inspires you to keep living and do good and to keep dreams alive and make them come true.

May you be elevated to a new higher level of excellence in life through our hope in Jesus Christ.

I recovered the lost years of my past life and still managed to give the best of myself that I could to this world. The journey, however, brought me untold heartbreak, tears, and desperation. I gladly share this journey with you.

Contents

Chapter 1: Beautiful Rwanda

Chapter 2: The Little Red Shoes

Chapter 3: The Privileged List

Chapter 4: Rain Walk

Chapter 5: The Initiation

Chapter 6: Virgin Mary

Chapter 7: America!

Chapter 8: Sakabaka

Chapter 9: California

Chapter 10: But Wait… There’s More!

Chapter 11: Shattered Glass, Shattered Heart

Chapter 12: The Genocide

Chapter 13: Blind Leading the Blind

Chapter 14: An Apple for Teacher

Chapter 15: Game On!

Chapter 16: The Rumor

Chapter 17: The Father versus the Church

Chapter 18: Break the Generational Curse! Yes, You Can!

Chapter 19: Then Forgive! Forgive What?

Chapter 20: Dreams and Things

Chapter 1

Beautiful Rwanda

The 1980s

I was born on September 1, 1967, in Mugonero, Rwanda, at the Seventh-day Hospital in the province of Kibuye, the second child among eight siblings. My childhood was marked by my parents’ love, caring, hard work, and love for God.

We lived in many cities throughout Rwanda and eventually settled in the city of Gisenyi in the north. Most people imagine Africans living in grass huts built on dusty dirt, right? Although I did see villages like that, the places where we lived resembled beautiful, well-established towns, offering lakefront restaurants, beaches, boats, public transportation, beautiful mountains, and a friendly lifestyle. In our town, we also had luxury tourist hotels, such as the Meridien, along with police stations, hospitals, pharmacies, and civic halls known as prefectures.

Surprisingly, temperatures in Rwanda are mild year-round, not Africa hot as some suppose. But it never snows there, and winter never comes. I saw a multitude of car brands on the road, such as Mazda, Nissan, Volvo, Jeep, Toyota, Mercedes Benz, and Volkswagen, etc. My parents also had a car.

Rwandans speak in four official languages, depending on the region: Kinyarwanda, the ancient language, English, French, and Swahili. I speak all of them, except Swahili.

Many of the townspeople grew their food, but we also had open markets offering fresh produce. Although we had electricians, carpenters, plumbers, and so forth, there were not many.

Our beds were conventional, made of wooden frames and real mattresses. Only the deep villagers slept on grass mats. Children played outside, mostly without shoes, as I and our siblings used to do because we loved it that way.

We played football, jump rope, rode bicycles, and played hide and seek games. Most babies were born in the hospitals, but in rural areas, mothers knew how to deliver babies on their own as they had done for thousands of years.

Surprisingly, murders were rare, even in the larger cities, about three a year. One of the towns where we settled, Gisenyi, features the River Sebeya, the beautiful Lake Kivu, Gishwati Forest, and the gorgeous volcanic Birunga Mountains. Although the Rwanda I just described sounds like a small paradise, there were ancient traditions, limited resources, and dangerous situations involving tribal rivalry, even before the Civil War broke out in 1994 as you will soon see.

My father worked as a corporateur (book seller), and my mother was a housewife. Life in Mugonero was a dream. We were happy and content and had all we needed. May I introduce you to a little of my African language? Go ahead, see if you can do it. Smile.

My cousin, Esther, many times took me to my grandparents’ house in Nyagahinga Rwamatamu and to my grandfather’s house in Buremo Rwamatamu Kibuye, both in Rwanda.

These were long walks out into the urban areas, so she’d pick me up and carry me on her back. More often than not, there were cows along the road.

Our church life, however, was a bit of a mess. As members of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, we experienced many abuses from minor to horrendous. I remember one time that a rumor was spread throughout our town by two elders at our church! They were also jealous of my parents’ success and looked for a reason to separate them. So they fabricated a story that my mother had an affair with another man, that they’d seen a strange man jumping out of our kitchen window. When my father drove home from work on his motorcycle, several men along the road shouted at him, She let him out through the window!

My father investigated the story and learned it was the church couple who started the rumor. From that point forward, whenever my father rode his motorcycle, even the village children called after him, Ride it today, but tomorrow it will be gone!

I remember when my baby brother, Ivody, was born. They took me to the hospital to visit my mother. Ivody’s birth was remarkable for me because he was the last child among my siblings to be born at Mugonero and the closest human to me who died somewhere between October and November of 1992.

Many of the townspeople kept harassing my parents, so they moved from Mugonero to Kayove Gisenyi, Rwanda, where my father became an elementary teacher at the Seventh-day Adventist School in town. I remember him teaching songs to the people in church.

In the evenings, my father had fun giving rides to his students on his motorcycle, back and forth on the road toward a missionary house in town. During that time, my mother worked very hard, cooking for us, cleaning the house and going out to buy food. I saw people who caught fish from the Lake Kivu, which they brought to our mother to buy, whereupon she’d cook them for our family, even though she didn’t eat fish. I remember one sad night when it rained quite hard, and as we slept, the roof leaked and rain fell on us children. My parents quickly found a plastic sheet and put it on top of us as a cover to prevent the rain from saturating us. Our mother was quite sad about the breach in our roof because she loved us deeply.

Before long, however, my father was not happy with this town either, and he wanted to go back to school. I remember the folks at our church and the students cried because we were leaving. They sang us a goodbye song and put my parents’ names into it, which was remarkable.

This village was a loving, caring place, but it seemed the pastor’s family did not like my parents because, like the other pastor, they were jealous.

On our last day in Kayove, we moved from Kayove to Butembo, in Zaire, which is today the Congo, in search of higher education. Daddy loved education. Who knew what the school at Butembo’s would leave him with?

When we arrived, we moved into a nice house with a blue door. He had so much hope and confidence that he would be doing something great, something that would make a difference in our lives.

Before long, my baby brother, Ivody, got sick, and my mother cried for him. Ivody came down with ascaris, a common malady among infants in Africa also known as stomach worms.

So our mother left us with friends and took him to the hospital. I remember the empty feeling without our parents and at my young age. I missed them and worried about them. I still remember how happy I felt when I saw them come back for us.

Daddy left us many times for work and school to make money for the family. Whenever he came home, we all ran to hug him and then told him everything that had happened while he was gone. To this day, I remember Daddy and Mummy sitting at the iziko (a cooking area; it wasn’t really a kitchen), warming themselves and talking. I was sure that Daddy had the solutions to everything and that