The Truth & Other Lies We Tell Ourselves: Learn How to Choose the Words That Determine the Outcomes in Your Life

By Matthew Whitehead

“Why do the words we use to express ourselves and interpret the world around us matter? Matt captures the answer to this question in a thought provoking and provocative way that makes you smile, makes you laugh, makes you embarrassed, makes you upset and makes you want more!”

—Joseph Gianni, Author of Swagger – The “Way of the Sway” to Success and Life Success.


What if you found out “the truths” you have been told your whole life were not really the truth? What if you found out you were told a fable only so you would follow a principle and not the depth of what is true? Isn’t the truth absolute? There is a fundamental “truth” that exists, but are they the ones you know? Are they the correct ones or are they just the right truths for you?

Your life has a theme and whether you understand it or not you created it and reinforce it. What if you could understand why? Why does your life follow these patterns? Why do you unconsciously reinforce behavior that you believe in your mind you do not even want?

I believe the answer and power to change your script is easier than you think. Once you understand the components, you can then become aware and from there you can take intended actions to change your script. You are not powerless. You have the power to change your patterns and create a new truth, a truth that serves you and your story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Dec 14, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982272852

Matthew Whitehead

Matthew Whitehead has been interested in human behavior and psychology for over 20 years focusing on why people behave the ways they do. By attempting to break down behavior into its most simple components, Whitehead feels there are opportunities to become better human beings. If it is possible for one, it is possible for many and in essence create and opportunity to improve the world through behavioral awareness.

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Copyright © 2021 Matthew Whitehead.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-7283-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-7284-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-7285-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021916036

Balboa Press rev. date: 12/14/2021

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1 The Power to Create

Chapter 2 What Did You Call Me?

Chapter 3 Separate to Connect – Guilty By Association

Chapter 4 Harold and the Purple Crayon

Chapter 5 Have We Been Crying Wolf?

Chapter 6 The Art of Language, the Force of Flow

Chapter 7 To Change the World–Detox

Chapter 8 Judgement Day

About the Author

I

dedicate this book to the reader who wants to become better.

The person who is seeking a place to look within.

For my parents and siblings that helped mold me.

For every friend, triumph, trial and lesson that has given me perspective.

For Cathy, Olivia and Mason who inspire the best in me. How much?.... Sooooo Much.

INTRODUCTION

Have you ever been curious about what you can accomplish? Have you ever been curious as to who you are? What is your purpose? Why are things the way that they are? Why are you broke, unlucky, rich, wealthy, healthy, unhealthy, sick, lost, sad, happy, in love, heart-broken and any other situation, characteristic or feeling? Have you ever felt it could be different? Have you ever felt that there just has to be something more?...That YOU are more?

There seem to be cycles in the history of time. In the history of all time, in your present time and into the future, these cycles will remain. Some say that if you do not break the cycle, the situation or path will come back around again. How can it not if it is cyclical in nature and nature in itself is cyclical as is time? However, when a cycle is broken, something new seems to emerge. A new pattern or a ripple. As it creates, it creates a new flow to its process and system. It begins to go through an evolution of sorts. With that evolution, creation unfolds and in creation is explanation and understanding.

So, from what was said above, I sit and I wonder why? I am fascinated by behavioral patterns. I honestly enjoy seeing, hearing or witnessing something and saying to myself, what was that about? As we go through this philosophical journey of thought, I hope you gravitate towards the idea and concepts and do not get stuck on the words. That really is in essence the spirit of thought here. Do not get stuck. You are better than that. You really are. I intend to prove it…from a philosophical perspective anyway. I think that is the right word. I guess we will figure that out. Again, that seems to be the spirit of this.

Not many people know I am writing this book. Maybe two people know what it is even about, and even they are vague in what it really is or the purpose. One of the many people who do not know the premise of this book is my wife. I worried that I would explain the concept of the book to her and I would notice a look on her face. She may not intend it. She may not even realize it was there, but that look that I do not want to see would probably prevent me from having the confidence to write out these pages. She means that much to me that a look she could potentially give me could destroy a dream I have. As I write that, it sounds crazy. It is true. Why the hell is that true? Why does she have that power? She doesn’t even know she has that power. The truth is I give her that power and although I state she is unaware, part of me knows she absolutely knows about it.

So what is this? I believe that words, language and methods of communication are segregating and separating our humanity. We, as a collective human race are simply creating a collective culture we stand against, we stand for, we fight for, we die for, we pray for and we sacrifice for. All are the same. All are identifiable and able to be broken down. All are not very different. There are layers. To some people this will be hard for them to appreciate or grasp. I believe that the main reason that people will have a hard time grasping this to be true is because it cannot be that easy. It is not that easy. It is that easy. Those three sentences create a different reality. They are just words, right? Just some stupid fucking words. That one made you feel a little different didn’t it? Here is the challenge. There are words in this book that you identify with. There are words in this book that will create strong emotions and feelings in and from you. That is probably the point. I plead with you to try your hardest to get to the message and not get stuck on a word. No words are behaviorally encompassing "bad words. What I mean by that is that I do not believe any one word has ever been created where it was proclaimed, this one, this one word, it is a bad one. Whenever this word is used it is vial and the user of this word is a bad human-being." By using a word, it does not make you anything other than a human being. Now, there are words that when they are used are used for bad. They portray it, they describe it and they engulf it…but they themselves are not bad. There are words when spoken will offend or hurt, but is it the word that truly cut the wound?

So if that is what this is about, why does it matter? I believe it is an amazing answer. Words create, they define, they destroy, they please, they heal, they segregate, they build, they harmonize, they distract, they embellish, they connect, they disconnect and they do thousands more. If words are that powerful, are we really paying attention to how impactful they are? Words, language and communication all combine to connect us as humans. It is in these methods that we attempt to connect to others. We use these methods to create and reinforce cultures, define rules, laws and what seem to be the consensus of the norm in regards to what is fair. We also use these methods to rebel, defy, destroy and segregate. This is amazing that words can do this much. However, they can do more still.

Words create the blueprints to the most beautiful and devious acts in the world. The most critical invention, the most complex theories, the amazing cures and breakthroughs in science, but also the plan to kill, the theory of evil, the concepts of facilitating hate all start with words. They are born into the mind from the creator. We as a humanity are this creator. As part of this humanity, you are this creator. You reinforce its power. Think about that…I gave you a clue there. As you think what happens? You are speaking to yourself in your mind. You are using words to describe how you feel and what you think. More so, you are using a tone and inflection in your mind with those words you are using. You are creating right at this minute. We never stop creating. We are constantly seeking for truth.

What does that mean? It means that there is a tremendous opportunity. If we could only realize and acknowledge collectively that there is a better way. If we as a humanity could realize that one person at a time becoming aware has the power to change, improve, enlighten or transform the world. The world is my home as it is yours. Without it there is nothing else that we are collectively aware exists to live on. There is only death outside this world. Since we are all on this world and we are sharing it, what if we shared it the way we teach our children to share without restraint or hesitation. To be kind. To help. To care. To give and to love. If we individually have the power to constantly create, what if we joined each other? If they say, two heads are better than one, then what if we had a surplus of 7 billion heads combined to create this message? The world could change. We could all change. We could find harmony with each other. We could write a whole new story.

So I ask you to please follow the philosophy. This would not be possible without providing examples and each word or concept will spark feelings and emotions. To some, it will be words or phrases about children, behavioral assault, religion, race, culture, status, family, etc. Experiences in our time have left impressions upon our bodies, souls and minds. I appreciate that. I appreciate that you have used words to tell your mind stories. You have used words to describe your feelings. You have used words to describe yourselves and everyone and everything around you. If it is the method that is used to communicate on the inside and the outside, and it affects every single human being on this planet, then I would propose we take a look at it.

At the end of the day, this is to create some thought and inspire you to take a moment and respond, not react, but respond to the question…Could you create it better?

CHAPTER 1

The Power to Create

"Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine

what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last

you create what you will." – George Bernard Shaw

You are amazing. Yes, you. The person holding this book, reading its words and taking their time to do so. You are amazing and I want you to know that I love something about you. It is a truly special reason. It is because you are unique. You are an anomaly. There is nothing quite like you in this world we are living within. Of all of the people in all of the world, there is no one, not anywhere that is like you. You, by your nature, are an amazing gift. What I love about you is that you make me wonder. You make me think and ponder the world, the heavens and all that lay or could lay between. Wonder is such a powerful and amazing gift. I wonder sometimes if there is anything better? Let’s imagine something together. Let’s imagine you are watching two family members. They are sitting close on a log in the woods. They are right next to each other on that log and it begins to rain unexpectedly hard and fast. You watch them both jump up off their seats and run for shelter out of the rain.

Observing this situation I would say those two family members got caught in the rain and they shared the experience. To one level, this is true that there were two people that had the rain unexpectedly hit them at the same time and they ran for shelter, but on an entirely different level it is not. Let’s remember you are 100% unique to this planet. There is no other you. So, when you experience something, you provide the meanings to those experiences. As one family member sat and felt the rain, the first drop was cold and unexpected. It shocked them as they sat there. They immediately thought of how their clothes would get soaked, their hair would be a mess and they would be uncomfortable and unfashionable for the remainder of the day. They were upset about the rain.

The other family member felt the first drop of rain unexpectedly and the first drop was cold. It shocked them. They immediately thought, how nice. How nice this rain came and distracted me. It reminded me I was focused on some bad things happening at work or at home and I needed the distraction. It almost seems like the rain was a gift. I needed that. I am grateful for the rain.

When