Deep

By Amr Muneer Dahab

Deep reflection is not necessarily associated with complex or slow thinking; rather it is a smart, deliberate response to life around you by giving yourself the opportunity to move beyond the first response—which is often reactive and emotive—to any situation or idea you encounter, whether on a practical, emotional or even imaginary level.
“Deep” reinforces the tendency to think deeply and positively on these various topics: facing troublemakers, dealing with pain, personal financial issues, gastronomy, reading, criticizing, inspiring, and feeling always good to go.
The reader will find in this book the inspiration to look at life with great confidence and positivity in dealing with the constant challenges, and those who love reading specifically will find “Deep” a pure pleasure to read.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781665547758

Amr Muneer Dahab

www.nasdahab.com [e-mail] Amr Muneer Dahab is a Sudanese born writer, poet, essayist, literary critic and electrical engineer. He has an experience of over twenty years as a columnist in opinion journalism and is widely acknowledged for his critical essays tackling controversial cultural, literary, intellectual, and political issues worldwide, and in the Arab world specifically. His over twenty years’ experience as a columnist in opinion journalism, in addition to his academic engineering degree and relevant practical career, allowed his words to be architected in a skillfully depict reality with honesty, objectivity, and creativity. Amr is a senior member of the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers in the United States of America. He has more than twenty five books published in Arabic, and his book “Damn the Novel” had been translated into English and published in 2018. Amr wrote in English “Facing Troublemakers”, “You Are Always Good to Go”, “Life Painkillers”, “Cuisine”, “Reading”, “Pocket”, “Inspire”, and “Criticizing”; they were published in 2020 and 2021. Amr’s collection of poems “Stubborn in Love” has been translated into English and published in 2021.

Book preview

© 2022 Amr Muneer Dahab. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/30/2021

ISBN: 978-1-6655-4776-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-4775-8 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

To those who seek to develop themselves at any

level and to those who love reading in general.

CONTENTS

Preface

CHAPTER 1: FACING TROUBLEMAKERS

Before We Start

Why Conflicts Exist

Conflict Exciters and Favorite Places

Allies

Negotiations

Before Falling into the Conflict Trap

Understanding Conflicts

Prioritizing Your Conflicts

It Is Always Your Own Way

Rewarding Your Opponent

In the Middle of the Conflict

To Attack or Not to Attack?

Face-to-Face with Troublemakers

Becoming a Troublemaker

Ethics Challenges

Recurrence of Conflicts

Dealing with Betrayal

Do Happy Endings Exist in Conflicts?

CHAPTER 2: LIFE PAINKILLERS

Boredom

Embarrassment

Obsession

Failure

Bad Luck

Satisfying Everyone

Betrayal

Failure to Pass a Job Interview

Loss of Your Job

Retirement

A Romantic Relationship Ends

The Demise of a Close Person

Injustice

An Intrigue

Ahead of Your Time

Cascade of Problems

Defeat

Abandon Principles

Routine

Self-Esteem Exaggeration

Aging

Whirlpool

CHAPTER 3:

POCKET YOUR PERSONAL ECONOMY

If You Are Spendthrift by Nature

If You Are Miserly by Nature

In the Mall

On Vacation

The Best Investment

Employee and Businessman

Professional Consultation versus Traditional Advice

Budget Control

Virtual Financial World

When Your Finances Run Low

When Your Income Increases

Your Debts

Your References in Spending and Saving

Taking Risk

Your Retirement Plan

Your Wish List

What Does a Blessing Mean?

Money and Happiness

CHAPTER 4:

CUISINEFEELING FOOD

Starting from Scratch

Progressing in the Kitchen

Learning to Taste

Becoming a Professional Cook

Home Cook versus Professional Chef

Mistakes in the Kitchen

Your Mentors

You as a Mentor

Cross-cultural Cooking

Cross-cultural Tasting

Cooking with Love

Eating with Love

Healthy Food

Mood Changes

Creating Your Own Style

Food Freedom

Food Fashions

The Soul of Cuisine

CHAPTER 5: READING

The Purpose of Reading

What to Read

How to Read

Fast Reading versus Slow Reading

Fat Books versus Slim Books

Reading a Poorly Written Book

Avid Reading

Reading Cover to Cover

Judging a Book by Its Cover

Addiction to Reading a Specific Genre

Reading in Another Language

When Will You Benefit from Reading a Book?

Do Reading Habits Change over Time?

Stop Reading for a While

A Unique Contest

How Do You Review a Book?

Isn’t the E-book a Real Book?

Reading versus Other Means of Knowledge

CHAPTER 6: CRITICIZING

Criticizing Life

Criticizing Cultures

Criticizing New Ideas

Criticizing Arts

Criticizing at Home

Criticizing at Work

Criticizing Sensitive People

Criticizing Children

Criticizing within Your Field of Expertise

Criticizing Outside Your Field of Expertise

Direct and Indirect Criticism

Criticizing Yourself

Receiving Criticism

Criticism and Age

Refining Your Critical Sense

Criticizing Challenges

Your Role Models in Criticism

Accepting Life as It Is

CHAPTER 7: INSPIRE

Inspiration, Not Imitation

Fields of Inspiration

Who Can Inspire You?

Whom Should You Inspire?

Rich Sources of Inspiration

Spontaneous Inspiration versus Imposed Inspiration

Practical Inspiration and Emotional Inspiration

Individual Inspiration and Collective Inspiration

Inspiration through Rejection

Creativity and Inspiration

Obstacles to Inspiration

Learning and Teaching Inspiration

Inspiration and Age

Inspiration and Culture

Inspiration as Treatment

Inspiration Validity Date

Inspiration and the Impossible

How Does Inspiration Change Your Life?

CHAPTER 8: YOU ARE ALWAYS GOOD TO GO

You Are Always Good to Do Something

To Go with Time

It Is Never a War

To Go with Ethics

To Go with Pride

To Go with Fear

To Go with Hesitation

To Go with Luck

To Go with Faith

Comparisons on the Way

It Is a Small World; It Is All Yours

You Are Always Good to Give

Whom and What to Avoid?

When Do You Need to Wait?

Deciding to Give It a Break

How Could You Be Better?

Inspire or Get Inspired

Together on Our Ways

When Can You Obtain Your Best Version?

Destination

PREFACE

Deep reflection is not necessarily associated with complex or slow thinking; rather it is a smart, deliberate response to life around you by giving yourself the opportunity to move beyond the first response—which is often reactive and emotive—to any situation or idea you encounter, whether on a practical, emotional or even imaginary level.

Each chapter of this book had been published earlier as a separate book dealing with an independent topic. The chapters of Deep have one thing in common; they reinforce the tendency to think deeply about the various topics they address, thus bringing the idea of self-development out of the direct approach replete with bright promises to an attempt to inspire the reader to create their own sustainable solutions and approaches to any issue they face, instead of flooding them with a few fleeting tricks with validity dates that do not last long in the face of the renewed challenges of life.

In addition to the self-development content, it is intended in parallel that each paragraph of the book includes an independent literary value and artistic pleasure.

I hope that the readers will find in this book the inspiration to look at life with great confidence and positivity in dealing with the constant challenges, and that those who love reading will find Deep a pure pleasure to read.

CHAPTER 1

FACING TROUBLEMAKERS

1

BEFORE WE START

63529.png Thoughts are for inspiration; rules are for memorizing.

63529.png The best way to get the most of this book—any book, really—is to see how far it inspires you, rather than counting the new ideas you memorize.

63529.png Dealing with conflicts is not a necessity for good people only; everyone needs to manage his conflicts, whether he is the initiator or when someone else pushes him into trouble.

63529.png Accordingly, if creating conflicts is one of your techniques in life or business, you will still find this book useful when facing an expert conflict creator.

63529.png You and your opponents might read the same books and join similar training courses. It is not about who reads the book first or passes the training with higher marks; it is all about who gets better inspired.

63529.png If you believe the ideas in this book are hard to adopt, do not worry, you can use them partially and even occasionally.

2

WHY CONFLICTS EXIST

63529.png Conflicts exist in nature, not just human nature.

63529.png Conflicts don’t necessarily exist because bad people are present; they exist because different-natured people are present.

63529.png Boredom seems to be one of the most challenging conflict exciters. People tend to search for dynamic situations even when they pass a serene luxuriant long-lasting experience.

63529.png Jealousy mostly comes first among agitated feelings between colleagues.

63529.png As a rule, conflicts do not rise suddenly; they are accumulations of ignored minor disputes or minor differences in views.

63529.png Claiming to reach a final resolution for conflicts sounds like claiming to answer the eternal question of the secret of life. Try to jump over conflicts; life looks like continuous cycles of hurdle races.

3

CONFLICT EXCITERS AND FAVORITE PLACES

63529.png Discrepancies of interests, as well as aggressive people, are major conflict motivators. Boredom looks like an innocent motive but is no less dangerous when behind conflicts.

63529.png Even though they are mostly not driven by good intentions, conflicts are often chances to boost levels of competence in work environments.

63529.png In social life more than in business, critical conflicts can be an introduction to strong and trustworthy relationships, if they occur with people newly introduced to our lives, whereas they are probably fatal to old relationships.

63529.png Conflicts tend to have favorite times and situations rather than favorite places.

63529.png Even the material and moral products that give us relaxation, pleasure, and peace of mind are born from conflict in one way or another.

63529.png Contrary to what we tend to believe, conflicts have chances to appear equally at home, in the community, within the neighborhood, at work, and even in a place of worship.

63529.png The significance of conflicts depends on the extent to which they affect us and the size of the audience interested in following the show.

63529.png It is wise to plan to minimize future conflicts and reduce their negative impact. Planning to stop future conflicts or absolutely avoid them is an impossible mission.

63529.png Principles tend to be attractive to unpretentious people; it is exceptional to adhere to your principles when you are in a position of power.

4

ALLIES

63529.png Old, stable relationships can be reliable sources of alliances; just be careful of changes that affect people over time.

63529.png Try your best to cautiously select your allies from among your trustworthy relationships. However, do not stop looking seriously for new, reliable allies; they will be the time-tested relationships of your future.

63529.png When searching for new allies, accurately calculate your needs and interests, as even minor miscalculations could lead to fatal results.

63529.png Cracks in your relationships affect you sharply; negative surprises from alliances can wound you deeply.

63529.png Betrayal is a big word; it is probably not applicable to transient allies’ letdowns.

63529.png It does not require a high degree of intelligence to spot a two-faced ally—he exposes himself spontaneously; just be attentive to naive gestures.

63529.png Two-faced alliance is not a characteristic only of bad people. Some good people might not be sure of which side to take throughout a conflict. Monitor everyone carefully, and do not take it personally.

63529.png Do not wait until you are in the middle of a conflict; make strong ties with potential allies in advance.

63529.png Records of past conflicts are a useful tool in selecting your trustworthy allies. However, always keep your eyes open to update your list of allies.

63529.png Beware of times your opponents show sudden kindness and when your allies repeat unsolicited confirmations of loyalty.

63529.png Declaring that you do not trust anyone is not enough to prove that you are attentive and cautious. Keep a list of your allies categorized by level of trustworthiness.

63529.png You are stronger when you are able to declare that you trust more people.

63529.png It is your sole responsibility to maintain your image during the conflict and negotiations; do not expect others to defend every minor attack. The support of allies should be reserved for essential, critical turns along your conflict journey.

63529.png It is always good to try to anticipate the expiry dates of your allies.

63529.png Opponents do not betray you—beware of your allies.

63529.png Trust is an important criteria while selecting your allies. However, you need to be smart to identify whom you should trust.

63529.png Trusted people are not necessarily your loved ones but those who have the required knowledge and experience and had a good history with you.

5

NEGOTIATIONS

63529.png Before you take on negotiations, make sure you are the right negotiator. Otherwise, delegate another colleague and propose yourself for another possible mission.

63529.png Gather your allies before the negotiation, and try to increase them among the participants while the negotiation is going on.

63529.png When it is your turn to speak, perform as if you are the star of the show and the stage is yours.

63529.png Do not underestimate other people’s intelligence when presenting fake concessions; this is the time that you need to be more careful.

63529.png More intelligence, power, and courage are needed if you intend to violate others’ rights for tactical or strategic reasons. You have an outstanding status of power to start from when you represent your rights.

63529.png Before negotiating for your rights, make sure your opponents are aware that these are your rights, even if they do not admit so.

63529.png Do not offer your final proposals as ultimatums; however, your tone should sound decisive.

63529.png Even if you are not satisfied with the outcome, look at it as less loss—there could have been further damages.

63529.png Although negotiations are meant for resolving conflicts, they could be utilized for further complications or even creating additional conflicts.

63529.png After trying all possible proactive approaches, it is okay to put forth your complication plan when you are pushed to a negotiation that you are not interested in or where your opponents seem to have the upper hand.

63529.png Your complication plan looks acceptable when it is prepared smartly and presented calmly.

63529.png Prepare your renunciations list well ahead, and let it be long enough to allow you to select among several comfortable choices. Make sure to slowly and carefully expose the items one by one, and always keep in mind that the goal is to finalize the negotiations while keeping as many items as possible intact within that list.

63529.png It is essential before going in depth with negotiation to identify who wears the good guy hat and who wears the bad guy hat, even though both could be the opposite outside the meeting room.

63529.png Even if you are negotiating for yourself or your organization, try to imagine that you are negotiating for somebody else or another party who hired you as a delegate for the mission. This allows you to act enthusiastically and react calmly.

63529.png In the next session of a negotiation, try to bring encouraging rewards for your opponents and surprise them with additional challenges.

63529.png When your opponents show greediness, it is better to focus on keeping them occupied with the fear of losing the rewards already offered.

63529.png It is important not to stick strictly to familiar strategies. Be flexible throughout the negotiation to allow for absorbing your mistakes, considering the behavior of your opponents, and the reevaluation of your prejudgments on their natures and behaviors.

63529.png Try to listen openly and carefully to your opponents during the negotiations while accepting their notes on your weaknesses as if they were gifts.

63529.png If you discovered that it is a cunning display of muscle rather than being a process of compromising in good faith, then it is better to stick to your stance even if you are convinced that you are not entitled to what you are fighting for.

63529.png No matter the barriers—lack of trust, diehard bargainers, or spoilers—with solid arguments and a patient, calm approach, you could discompose your opponent’s position.

63529.png With the same solid argumentation and a rational approach, you should be able to maintain an impressive image, regardless of the negotiation tactics adopted by your opponents.

63529.png If others have prepared well with many surprises, it is better not only to ask for time to study their proposals but to try to keep them busy with your own well-prepared surprises.

6

BEFORE FALLING INTO THE CONFLICT TRAP

63529.png Before getting into the details of a conflict, reevaluate your position; maybe you could find a way to withdraw without any loss before the battle starts.

63529.png Many conflicts could be won without participating. Think carefully before making the decision to get involved. It may not always be that others have bad intentions; you might be dragged into the wrong conflict by mistake.

63529.png During the harbingers of the conflict, the question is not always how to avoid it. It could be wise to go into the conflict for a radical solution that was previously inaccessible.

63529.png Before getting involved in the conflict, you have the privilege of thinking freshly outside the box. However, you still see neither the details nor the whole picture of the conflict.

63529.png Beware of those who incite you to be a hero; nobody other than you should determine the level of your involvement in the conflict.

63529.png Unless you are too busy, do not hesitate to accept an invitation to participate in a relevant conflict as an observer. It is at least a good chance to get some useful information and experience; just maintain your marginal position throughout the process.

63529.png Transferring the problem to someone else is more effective before you are trapped in the conflict. However, it is still possible during all phases of the conflict.

63529.png Whenever a new conflict emerges, take some time to conduct an independent overview, and then look over your record on past conflicts to review lessons you learned and to get inspired.

63529.png When you receive an invitation to a conflict, make sure that you are not in front of a problem transferred to you by someone else.

7

UNDERSTANDING CONFLICTS

63529.png Rather than being unique each time, conflicts are mostly recurring events in different forms.

63529.png Unlike school days, it is not all about memorizing lessons and scoring high on the examination paper. In practical life, be watchful of conflicts. Keep your head up and look around.

63529.png Dealing with conflicts is much more like hurdle races: it is always about how to jump the hurdles better and faster, not removing hurdles from your way while running.

63529.png People using the techniques of hurdles racers are more likely to be successful in dealing with conflicts than those using the techniques of short-distance racers.

63529.png Our opponents are gifts presented to us for discovering our mistakes and weaknesses and refining our will.

63529.png Persistence and perseverance are of the most powerful common tools in dealing with conflicts. Yet, smartness and calmness are not less important by any means.

63529.png In conflicts it goes as in medicine: prevention is better than cure. Keep an eye on your healthy, intact relationships.

63529.png Getting disturbed by conflicts should never stop you from utilizing relevant lessons learned.

63529.png Always try to be ethical. However, when deciding to transfer the conflict to someone else, assure to select the proper victim carefully.

63529.png Negotiations during conflicts are essential for all parties, not necessarily to eliminate the disputed points; negotiations are essential to convince each other jumping to the next hurdle with