Under Quiet Neath

By Des Sousa

Ever had a client you were dying to get rid of? (One who was obviously bursting for the bathroom?) Is your boss the boss from hell? And is there some government bureaucrat out there who you only tolerate because you absolutely, positively, need the money?
Some people imagine hell as being underground, and today, Janice can see why. Hers is probably the most secure office in town, impossible to break into. In order to protect client confidentiality, Janice's assistant Nia locked the door, for the last meeting before Christmas.
Unfortunately, the key broke, and soon there is no one on this sleepy South Wales industrial estate to help them out.
Now Janice, Mason, Nia and Rhiannon must work together to find a way out, before they die of thirst. If they don't kill each other first.
A play for four actors, (and some offstage or recorded voices.)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Des Sousa
• Release date: Feb 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005708344

Des Sousa

As a child, Des Sousa skipped the "about the author" pages and went straight to the stories. I suggest you do the same. But, curious minds are welcome to read along, if you like. More detailed snippets about his life are covered in the "about the author" pages of Sousa's books.Des Sousa loved to watch films from a young age and spent many years as an independent filmmaker. Sousa used to walk into a festival not knowing what it was, just because a film was there. Sousa heard filmmakers of all kinds, from political to artistic to purely commercial, tell about how they made their movies. Hearing these stories inspired "The Slimebag Project."Sousa lived in five countries. The first two may appear in later plays. The third, and strangest, was the United Kingdom.Des Sousa's first job in the UK was trainee hairdresser. No, things were not as violent as they are in "Rinsed In Blood", but the clients liked to gossip and the friendly atmosphere inspired the character interaction. Unfortunately, he left that job due to an illness. (What illness could prevent you from cutting hair? Well, warts. No one wants to give those to customers when you wash their heads, now do they?).Sousa also tried web design for a time. And running his own companies, trying to make films, taking photos, even designing websites for clients, and getting locked in a noisy underground office, helped inform him of the world behind "Under Quiet Neath."

Book preview

Under Quiet Neath

A play by

Des Sousa

Smashwords edition 1.0 - Copyright January 2022

Discover more by Des Sousa and friends at https://udigrudi.com

This play is a work of fiction. The characters, though typical of the valleys, are not based upon anyone in particular. Any similarity between the characters and people you may know is just a by-product of the Welsh national character (especially in the Valleys), so don’t go around thinking you’re special if you sound or bit or act a bit like one of them. Did I mention that the characters are fictional? Neath, on the other hand, is very much a real place. I’d love to visit it someday.

This file is for your use only. If you wish to share this book with others, please purchase a copy for each recipient. Even if you’re a Cardi like I was, you surely can afford an e-book.

For information about performance rights, please contact the playwright’s representatives. Details will be listed at https://udigrudi.com when they become available.

Copyright 2015, 2022 Des Sousa. All rights reserved. Des Sousa asserts the moral right to be known as the author of this work and all other moral rights.

Table of Contents

Copyright page

Pitching Neath Under

Under Quiet Neath

Character List

Act 1: Janice’s Office

Act 2: Late Night

Act 3

Glossary

Alternative Lines

Encores

Londoner on Holiday (skit)

Detective Janice (skit)

Logjam music video (Skit)

About the Author

Other Plays by Des Sousa

Connect With Des Sousa

Pitching Neath Under

By Des Sousa

INT. OFFICE

The lights are very dim but slowly rise.

Among the shadows appears a silhouette, seated on a swivel chair. As a light falls on the top of the silhouette, half a face appears.

It is DES, wearing a headphone attached to a microphone.

DES

Hello, my name is Des Sousa. You may recognise my voice from 118500. Yes, that was me, the human phone book. And sorry, the number you wanted was either ex-directory or national rail enquiries.

Des turns the swivel chair and removes the headphones.

DES

Many other people asked for numbers that were available. Those who called at dawn wanted to speak to their boss, most who called at dusk wanted a takeaway, and most who called on Saturday wanted a hairdresser.

Des stands, reaches into a drawer, and takes out a pair of scissors. There is a cover of his play about a hairdresser, coming soon.

DES

Before that, I was a trainee hairdresser, until my hand was attacked by an army of warts.

Des drops the scissors. As Des reaches down for them, they appear to turn into a greeting card, which is picked up.

DES

Or you might remember when I designed and sold greeting cards at Udigrudi Books and Movies, in the Aberystwyth market hall. When all the stalls were closed, we made short films there.

Des stands up and sits on a director's chair.

Under the chair, the director finds an old VHS cassette.

DES

My face appeared in training videos, which you may have watched during work hours.

Des sticks the VHS into a VCR. An audience, perhaps a fake one, watches the tape with Des.

DES

I can't remember the names of those pictures, because, unfortunately, I only did it for a paycheque.

Turn VCR to face the real audience. Clips of feature films.

DES

Since then, we've been making speculative films. Then I took a few years off to write scripts and stories.

The VCR is wheeled out, so it is only Des in the office, holding five scripts connected with brads. Des lays them on the desk, like a deck of cards.

DES

Now I have a set of scripts that I am confident will make entertaining productions.

A PowerPoint or similar projection behind uses use animations, clips, or storyboard art to illustrate the pitch.

First, we see concept art of geeky-chic web designer (Janet, a smartly dressed council worker, a plasterer in high-vis uniform.

These slide in, one by one as mentioned.

DES

The first of our quintet is about four people from very different industries, who encounter each other through the last meeting of the holidays and will probably never meet again.

A door is locked offstage. Storyboards reveal people locked in an office.

DES

That is, until a silly mistake forces the meeting into overtime. Lots of overtime…

To be Continued…

Character List

Principal Cast

Janice – the owner of a small web design and development business.

Nia – her assistant.

Mason – their client. A builder with multipocketed trousers that contain a lighter, a tape player, a mobile phone, and other goodies.

Rhiannon – works for the government and can give Janice a grant. But will she?

Off stage bit parts and ambiance:

(For the following, recorded voices may be used.)

Londoner – the negligent landlord.

Chorus – to sing along or rap along.

Elisa and Diana – two partygoers we never see.

Lanky – a friend of Rhiannon with an answer phone.

American – just a recorded voice to tell you there is no phone credit.

Additionally, text messages received by the characters can be read by those characters, or by recorded or computer voices (or even offstage voices). But they can also simply be displayed on a backdrop or otherwise.

Under Quiet Neath

By Des Sousa

Act 1: Janice’s Office, Afternoon

We are under the town of Neath, in Wales. Near the end of a long working day, the sun is about to set, so not much light comes through the window.

Electric lights switch on to reveal a hectic underground office, furnished with intercom, computer workstations, and tall filing cabinets, but no landline.

Nia, a recent graduate, and even more recent employee, has little to do but she can’t go home, yet. So, she browses the internet on a one-piece computer.

Janice, 40’s, Nia’s boss, stands as she scrolls her email.

Janice paces to the other side of the room, then returns to scroll again, in case she missed something.

NIA

Cool, it’s the 126th anniversary of the hole puncher.

JANICE

(aside)

I’d like to punch a hole in her.