The Truth About Trust: The Secret to Thriving in Any Relationship

By Joi M. Ross

Stop Settling.

And begin thriving in all your relationships...Today! 

This book is a must-read for anyone wanting to have healthier, more successful relationships in life and in business. You'll learn to:

• Enhance your interactions with other people.
• Identify and ditch the baggage that causes

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Mar 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637691359

Joi M. Ross

Joi Ross is international best-selling author of "How to Break the Cycle of Temptation, Addiction & Guilt from the Inside Out: A Pathway to Freedom, Fulfillment and Purpose." She's also owner and CEO of APEX Direct, Inc., a communications consulting firm. Answering what she believes was a call from God in 2019, she formed Joi Ross Consulting, a separate business entity focused on writing, speaking, and personal development coaching. A pastor's daughter and the youngest of four, Joi has faithfully volunteered and served in leadership roles most of her adult life, mentoring, guiding, teaching and coaching. A lifelong learner committed to continual growth and development, Joi is on a mission to help people identify and fulfill their God-given purpose and experience joy and freedom in every area of life. Those who know her describe Joi as warm, kind, and down-to-earth.

Book preview

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The Truth About Trust

The secret to thriving in

any relationship

Joi M. Ross

Trilogy Christian Publishers

TUSTIN, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

The Truth About Trust

Copyright © 2021 by Joi M. Ross

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.TM. Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Public domain.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Cover design by: Jeff Summers

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-63769-134-2

E-ISBN: 978-1-63769-135-9

Contents

Disclaimer v

Dedication vii

Acknowledgements viii

Foreword xi

Introduction. Where is Your Trust? xiii

Chapter 1. Hidden Agendas 1

Chapter 2. Square Pegs and Round Holes 19

Chapter 3. Ending the Cycle of Pain, Heartbreak,

and Relationship Fractures 35

Chapter 4. Looking Through Smudged Glasses 53

Chapter 5. Spiritual Currency: A Mindset Shift 65

Chapter 6. When Loss Becomes the Best Win Ever 75

Chapter 7. Villains and Superheroes 93

Chapter 8. The Game Changer 111

About the Author 114

Disclaimer

The following body of work was written as non-fiction. At its core, this book deals with common questions and commonly held views about trust and the role it plays in human relationships, as well as the role of trust with respect to the views and expectations we tend to have about life in general. It examines and questions the root cause of heartbreak and disappointment that many—too many of us—have experienced in relationships with other people (whether romantic, business, family, or friendship relationships).

Although the author has a strong spiritual foundation rooted in Christianity and a personal relationship with Jesus based on God’s love and grace for mankind, and regardless of whether you share her spiritual beliefs or don’t consider yourself to be spiritual at all, the principles in this book can absolutely help anyone seeking to have better relationships and experience greater joy in life. The author simply asks that you read this book with an open mind and an open heart and be willing to follow the practical steps for yourself.

It is absolutely possible to be free from constant disappointment and heartbreak in relationships. But it’s virtually impossible to avoid it until you awaken to the truth about trust. The power lies within you. Lasting change, true freedom from disappointment, heart fractures, and heartbreak, is a beautiful journey from the inside out.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my loving parents, who devoted themselves to providing everything they could to create a home environment where I could grow, feel safe, learn, and feed my curiosity and hunger for knowledge. They taught me about creation, the importance of developing a personal relationship with God, and the importance of giving my time, talents, and finances to produce value for other people and society as a whole. Those principles were then, and remain today, foundational to my life and have kept me grounded in the toughest of times.

Acknowledgments

Being an author wasn’t something that I ever set out to become as a goal or dream. It chose me. I simply heeded what I felt was a call to share my story with the goal of helping others who’ve struggled with similar things. I’m grateful for divine guidance and instruction on what to say, how to organize the chapters, and for the courage to be transparent and vulnerable. Everything good in my life, every achievement, every accomplishment, every ounce of positivity and joy, as well as any positive impact I’ve had on others are the sole result of God’s presence in me. I would not have been able to write this book without spiritual downloads, insight, and revelation.

I’m grateful to Charity Warren, who was my midwife on this project. She helped me push the content out of my spirit, out of my mind, and onto the pages. Her encouragement and insights were invaluable, particularly during the many moments while writing that I struggled with self-doubt. I believe we were divinely connected, and words are inadequate to express my deep love and gratitude for her.

I’m also grateful to my husband and parents for understanding my need to be transparent with certain parts of my life that include them and expose information that they wouldn’t necessarily have chosen to share. Yet, in support of my need to write this book, they encouraged me to be open and share whatever details I felt necessary. I realize that they were being generous, even though they may have felt a bit uncomfortable at first. I appreciate their support.

I’d be remiss to not acknowledge the many years of wisdom, spiritual guidance, and friendship of my pastors, Gregory and Grace Dickow. I’ve learned and grown so much as a result of being connected to them for nearly twenty years and serving in various capacities at Lifechangers International Church under their leadership. I love and appreciate them deeply.

Last but certainly not least, I’m eternally grateful for my executive coach, the lovely Lisa Nichols (and her executive assistant, Margaret, who embraced me from day one). Lisa came into my life at the perfect time, like a bright light, a ninja, a Yoda, and a rush of much-needed air and energy during the final stages of writing this book. A best-selling author, acclaimed transformational coach, and speaker who’s touched millions of lives, Lisa continues to amaze me with her wisdom, humility, kindness, drive, and generosity. She pushed me and helped me to see things from a different perspective. She saw in me things that I didn’t even see in myself. Her advice and suggestions—not just on my writing and speaking, but business and life in general—have been precious, priceless jewels! I’m blessed beyond measure to have Lisa in my corner. Lisa and Margaret are precious gifts from God. I’m eternally grateful for their support and encouragement.

Foreword

Joi Ross exquisitely navigates you through a journey of love, loss, shock, reconciliation, determination, and perseverance, all leaning on God’s Word. Reading The Truth About Trust reminded me of all the heartbreaks that I experienced that required me to lean on my unwavering faith—my trust in God. I’m brought back to my moments of disappointment both in myself and/or in someone else or the circumstances and how I navigated from what felt like despair to determination.

Joi does a phenomenal job of illustrating what disillusionment can do to us and how to get back from it. The concept of understanding the currency of trust is such a powerful tool that Joi masterfully allows us to take a peek in her window of life, navigating financial despair, health challenges, relationship disappointments, and finding her way back to trust expansion, love, and grace.

And in this time and this season, when our perseverance, our determination, our trust, and our patience all feel as if they’re being tested, The Truth About Trust is a definite must-read, a how-to, and a great reminder of who we all have the opportunity to be and become.

—Lisa Nichols

NY Times Bestselling Author

Celebrated Personal Transformation Guru and Coach

Founder of Motivating the Masses

introduction

Where is Your Trust?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

During much of my adult life, the topic of trust is one that I’ve spent much time thinking about, struggling with, and praying about. And I believe God has given me revelation on what trust is, how He designed it to be used, and why so many humans struggle with it. I’ve learned a lot about trust in the school of hard knocks. If trust were an ocean, you could say that over the past fifteen years in particular I’ve launched out into the deepest part without a life vest and learned many lessons that left me emotionally wounded and led me deeper into