Tears, a Gift from God

By Pamala Jean Walker

Tears, I believe, are a gift from God to cleanse, heal, and allow us to humble ourselves to the Lord. Tears can draw us closer to God during our trials and tribulations.

See how you will learn how to allow the Holy Spirit to get you through trials and tribulations. Suffering can draw you closer to God or farther away from Him. I was healed

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Mar 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637699850

Pamala Jean Walker

Pamala Walker is a seventy-one-year-old wife, married for fifty-four years to Ottie Walker. They are blessed with two children, four granddaughters, one deceased granddaughter, one grandson, and one great-grandson.She has been a Christian since the age of twelve. This is her first book, an inspirational, uplifting biography of her life. She lives in Port Neches, Texas, and she and her husband are active members of Pathway Church in that city.

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Tears,

a Gift from God

By Pamala Jean Walker

Tears, a Gift from God

Trilogy Christian Publishers A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2021 by Pamala Jean Walker

All Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Public domain.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Cover design by: __

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-63769-984-3

E-ISBN: 978-1-63769-985-0

Dedicated to Ottie

Faithful and Patient

Husband of fifty four years

   Just Thanks. 

Chapter 1

There is power in the blood of the Lamb. There is peace in the blood of the Lamb. There is joy in the blood of the Lamb. But when you think you have lost your precious gift of salvation, you think you have lost all the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Satan took control of my mind with gut-wrenching fear, which is the complete opposite of faith. This is true because he rendered me paralyzed, and therefore, I was of no use to God and suffered from my lack of faith. Now you know what Satan tried to do to me: in a nutshell, he wanted to stop any further growth in the Lord; he wanted to leave me in a fear-based life with no power of the Holy Spirit nor any closeness with God. Well, of course, he did not win.

You sometimes hear people say, But God. God had a plan for my life from the beginning. The devil tried to kill me three times. In fact, he tried to kill me while my mom was carrying me in her womb. The doctors could not understand why my mother threw up every day, even up to the day I was born. Now back to how he tried to kill me three times before I was about age three. First, the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck when I was born. Mom had always told me that if she had not had a good doctor, I would have died. Second, when I was a toddler, my mom and dad were on vacation, and I swallowed a whole bottle of baby aspirins. They rushed me to the hospital after I took the empty bottle to Mom and said, Good, Mommy, good (God’s plan for my life again). My mom asked the doctor what would have happened if they had not brought me to him. The doctor said, She would have fallen asleep never to have awakened. Last but not least (this was all before three years of age), the third event was when my dad left to leave home and, unbeknown to him, I followed him out of the house and got behind the car. The car hit me, and it died. I started crying but was not hurt at all. Dad picked me up and carried me inside. I was told he was shaking and white as a sheet. Remember, this was as a child when the devil tried to kill me. Of course, you will learn later on in this book that this is just the beginning of his evil plans to kill me.

Now I am about to share, through God’s word, some of the reasoning the Holy Spirit has birthed a desire to tell my story. Second Corinthians 1:4 (KJV) states, Who comforteth us in all our tribulations that he (God) may be able to comfort them who all in trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted of God. That scripture is the main reason to write this book. I want to express hope in God (especially for people fighting mental illness). Second Corinthians 1:4 plainly means to share how God Himself brought you through tough times. The devil will tell you not to share (at least for me, especially about this book). People should speak of the goodness of God. Well, for me, it took years of overcoming, listening to the devil try to convince me of things such as, Why would God choose you to write a book? Don’t you know you are just a simple (stupid) person who can’t even spell half the time? I knew God had great plans for my life, but I just couldn’t seem to really take hold of why me, even though I have had dreams, visions, and such from God.

Later on in the book, you will learn of the first miraculous events that changed my life forever at the altar in a little church I was attending. Well, that was the turning point and beginning of my victory over Satan. Even though things would go down in my health fast (not mental illness but other things), when the devil literally tried to steal the very breath from my body. I think I kind of got sidetracked; however, you will see glorious awakening in my life, about everything in my life. Gloom and doom in the first part, but victory in Jesus later in life, as the old song says. People need to see the light after darkness, thus title to a song I wrote about my victory (more about that later in the book). Whenever you go through dark times, you seem hopeless, among other things. However, in James 1:2, God states, My brethren count it all joy when ye fall into various trials. Knowing that the testing of your faith work with patience. If you have experienced this kind of joy after trials, you know God is still God and still on the throne. He is in the valley as He is on the mountain. When you exercise your faith in trials (and other times), it gets easier to trust God and turn your troubles over to Him faster. You build your faith, I believe, like you build your muscles from working out. I believe the more you exercise your faith, the more your faith will be strengthening.

Now I will give some of my reasoning and purposes that brought me here, pouring out my heart for the glorification of our Lord. I believe everything happens for a purpose. Thank God, I believe and relate to the scripture found in Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. It took a lot of suffering and studying and applying the Word of God in my life to really understand why God’s purpose is so important to fulfill God’s plan, purpose, and calling for our life.

Chapter 2

Now comes the really hard part. But if sharing my on-again, off-again torture of about thirty years from the devil can bring one person to salvation in Christ, it is well worth it. In John 10:10: The thief cometh not but to steal, and to kill and to destroy. I am come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly. The thief, of course, is the devil. He comes mostly to steal the Word of God from our hearts. Without the Word of God in our lives, we cannot fulfill any of God’s purposes for our lives. I, of course, is Jesus, who only wants us to have an abundant life. I think abundant life for us from Christ is anything good in our life. For me, this means, mostly to me, illness in my life. This is special to me because the devil tried to really take the breath of life from my body. You will hear much more about that and other healings later in this book. As soon as you invite Jesus into your heart, believing He is God’s Son and believing He died for our sins and three days later God raised Him from the dead, you are saved. This scripture is found in Romans 10:9, That if thou confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in thine heart that God hath raised him form the dead that shall be saved.

Now for some background of my upbringing. I was raised Catholic until I was twelve years of age. My mother would bring all of us to the Catholic church. My father was Baptist. I went to all the classes growing up Catholic, but I did not understand the teaching and never felt the presence of God. However, my grandmother was in the Assembly of God and would bring me to the little Pentecostal church. That was, of course, the first time I was introduced to the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues. I didn’t understand it, but it sure didn’t frighten me. I just accepted it as something different and new. My grandmother would speak in tongues at home, so I just felt okay with it. I did not even know, of course, that was a plan of God for my life to be introduced to tongues at such a young age.

When I was twelve years of age, my parents had a home built in another town. This town was Nederland, Texas. I know, as part of God’s plan, my mother and father decided to worship at a little Baptist church not far from my home. I believe God was setting us up for a much-needed refreshment from the Lord. Not long after joining the church, my whole family was saved and baptized. Although I was saved, I did not proceed any further with my relationship with the Lord. Soon after we were saved, my mother had a nervous breakdown and was committed to a mental hospital for a number of months. My family was split up; my brother Tommy and I were sent to my Aunt Margie’s, where my grandfather and grandmother lived with her. My grandmother was a praying Christian, and I know her prayers were responsible for getting us through that tough time. When Mom got well and was sent home, my father got very angry because he felt the church did not help us when Mom was sick. We all quit going to church. I think that was an important time in my life. I know God would have helped me out in some relationship decisions and would have enlightened my walk with Him. I sometimes questioned my salvation through the years, but I know a problem I had, I turned over to the Lord, and my request was answered. I was praying my heart out to God while kneeling down at a bench at a school behind our house for that big problem. That was the first time I ever really knew there was the one true God.

When I was sixteen, I met the man who would be looking out for my life. My soulmate that God utterly chose for me. God put us together. I believe God puts spouses together to fully edify each other in the Lord. My husband’s name is Ottie Walker. We were married on July 8, 1967, in the same church I was saved and baptized in. I was only seventeen at the time. I was still in high school. Both sides of our family said they would only let us marry if I finished high school. Well, a month and a day after we were married, Ottie was sent to Vietnam to fight the war. While he was in Vietnam, I went on to finish high school. The day he left was one of the saddest days of my life. I thought the year would never pass. He came home from Vietnam in August of 1968. We rented a little house and lived there for over a year. When we lived in that house, I became pregnant with my first child. Our daughter Tonya Lynn Walker was born on September 9, 1970. She weighed in at eight pounds and eleven and a half ounces. She was a difficult baby from the first day home: she cried day and night for about three months with what we now know was allergies; it was at this time that my husband and I started drinking and partying. That was about the first time I ever drank. We continued partying for a while and never felt the Holy Spirit of God drawing me to Him. I guess not; I was being disobedient to God. I got pregnant with my second child in 1972. Our second child, a son, was born on April 18, 1973, and weighed in at eight pounds and four and a half ounces. He was the exact opposite for our daughter Tonya. His name is Marcus Paul Walker. Marcus slept all night the first night home and continued to be a happy and contented baby.

It was when Marcus was three months and Tonya was three years old that I felt the pull of the Holy Spirit drawing me to Him. However, I did not know anything about the Holy Spirit to know that it was Him drawing me closer to God. I went to the church I was saved and married in. However, my husband did not go. I went for a good while but just quit going.

We moved to a new house in Nederland. Tonya was already in school, and Marcus would start a few years later. Money was scarce, so we really had to pinch our money.

Ottie worked for an electric utility power plant in Beaumont, Texas. While he