In a Time of Penguins

By Andie Kirkdale

A collection of science fiction and fantasy short stories featuring rebel penguins, ferocious shrimp, and time travelers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Feb 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9781678109448

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In a Time of Penguins

Andie Kirkdale

Copyright

In a Time of Penguins

Copyright © 2022 by Andie Kirkdale

All rights reserved

ISBN 978-1-6781-0944-8

No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission from the publisher.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, products, and incidents are creations of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, products, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Cover art by Andie Kirkdale

Day and Night

Day and Night

It was a bright and sunny day.

Hey, what are you doing here? shouted the dark and stormy night. I’m supposed to start the story.

Day danced around. But who wants a storm when you can have me? I’m ever so much more fun.

You’re ever so much more a pain in the neck, said Night. People want drama, intrigue, interest, not some half-wit capering around.

Day stopped dancing. That’s not nice, Night. I’m your friend. You should be more considerate.

Don’t be a wimp, Night flickered a bolt of lightning and let out rumbles of thunder. There. Isn’t that more interesting?

Day manifested butterflies and lambs.

Nope, said Night. It belched forth moths and bats.

Day laughed out rainbows and kittens.

Day and Night fought for weeks. People complained, animals were confused, and Time was annoyed. Then the Sun had an idea.

Let the people of Earth vote on who should prevail, he said.

The vote came out 50-50.

Great idea, gas ball, said Night. Why doncha fart out another flare and call it wisdom?

You have an attitude problem, said the Sun.

Night danced around, making asteroid faces at the Sun, its comet hair flying.

You see what I have to deal with, said Day.

All right then, we’ll do it this way, said the Sun. Half of the people will be Day People. The other half, Night People. They shall be in opposition to make things interesting. Two sides evolving together into wholeness. Or two sides dividing into collapse. Their choice.

From then on, Day shone, and Night rumbled. On Earth, people declared themselves for kittens or bats and life was never dull.

Accidental Home Movies

We made accidental home movies but didn’t know about them until we found the tapes in the garage.

There was one of Dad and the grill that didn’t work too well. One of Mom when she realized she didn’t like the new storm windows after all. One of our dogs eating a leftover hamburger, then looking at it like he expected something else.

And one of my sister and I at Christmas looking like we expected something else.

Should we keep these? I asked my sister as we watched the tapes.

Why not? Life has its disappointments.

Not in this highlights world. These don’t even qualify as bloopers.

Other scenes showed us fudging grades on report cards turning F’s turn into A’s, dead goldfish floating on the water in glass bowls, and old toys and games in closets.

On second thought, I don’t want to keep these movies, said my sister.

We discussed the issue, researched, and found the answer. Our movies are now archived at the Museum of Disappointments.

In this museum, you will find overexposed pictures, recipes that didn’t quite turn out, clothes that didn’t flatter anyone, half-assembled bookshelves and tables, and accidental home movies.

The leftovers of life perhaps unloved but lived just the same.

Peacock Parade

The peacocks held their parade every Saturday.

We had to line up on the streets at 9AM, rain or shine. Balloons optional, smiles required.

First, the brass band struck up Peacock March #3. Numbers one and two were not dignified enough.

Then pranced the peacocks. The peahens walked in front, carrying a banner with the slogan The Most Ancient and Royal Peacock Society. Behind them came the males, tail feathers spanning, plumed heads nodding.

The head peacock, an old general from the peacock-pigeon wars, stood on a balcony watching all with his sharp eyes.

If any spectator stepped out of line, a peacock darted out, screeching, Stand still! with beak