Munki Moo Moo: Munki Moo Moo, #1

By M.E. Purfield

Teenager Toni Brown lives a boring existence. She helps her single mother run a roadside motel after school, listens to music, and dreams of leaving the small town of Big Arcadia.

 

All that changes when a rock god E. Mandanny checks into the motel. Now she must deliver a package for him that inter-dimensional creatures would kill for.

 

The package: A mischievous yellow-eyed baby that eats grass and causes earthquakes.

 

The destination: Munki Moo Moo. Where ever the hell that is.

 

Munki Moo Moo is the first in a series of surreal, absurd, and dark fantasy novellas from the author of the Radicci Sisters Series and the Blunt Force Kharma Series.

• Language: English
• Publisher: trash books
• Release date: Jun 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201786458

M.E. Purfield

M.E. Purfield is the autistic author who writes novels and short stories in the genres of crime, sci-fi, dark fantasy, and Young Adult. Sometimes all in the same story. Notably, he works on the Tenebrous Chronicles which encompasses the Miki Radicci Series, The Cities Series, and the Radicci Sisters Series, and also the sci-fi, neuro-diverse Auts series of short stories.

Book preview

Episode 1

Y ou gonna be home early today? Mom asked from the kitchen counter.

I sat at the table and ate a bowl of cereal, reading the latest issue of Revolver. Yeah, I think so.

Mom brought over a fresh cup of coffee and sat across from me. Her face and body drooped as she sighed.

You all right, Mom? I asked.

She smiled at her coffee and said, Yeah, I’m ok. Things were hard for her, for us, since my father left to God-knows-where six months ago.

You hear anything new on that term paper?

No, not yet, I said.

I’m sure you’re gonna get a fine grade. Worked hard enough on that one.

Fuck yeah, I thought. I escaped to the library after school for a week. Every time I worked on it at the motel, some guest would want something and break my concentration.

With my backpack on, I left the house at 7 A.M. and stepped out into the late April heat. I walked across the dirt-patched lawn to my bike chained to the railing in front of the motel.

I unchained my ten-speed and slipped in my earbuds. After I pressed play on the MP3 player and blasted Lush’s Spooky, I hopped on the bike and rode to school.

MOM CHECKED IN AN OLD couple on their way to the Keys. I watched from the desk, fascinated at how great she was with people. Mom could probably sweet talk a rabid lion.

If there’s anything you need, just dial 0 on the phone, and Toni, my daughter, or I will help you out, she said.

The old couple smiled and thanked her as they left for their room.

Hey, Mom.

She walked over, kissed my cheek, and then plopped on the small couch.

How was school today?

Same shit, different day.

Toni, she laughed. Yeah, here too.

After she went over my chore list, I checked to see what rooms were vacated on the ledger. For the next few hours, I cleaned four filthy rooms; I won’t mention what I found under the bed of one, I just hope they had a good time.

I finished the wash by 5:15 and then made dinner for Mom and I: burgers, baked fries, and canned corn. While we ate in the office, a man walked in, but not just any man. He wore black jeans and a ripped purple T-shirt with no trademarks or logos. His hair was naturally bright red and spiked high. His blue eyes hid behind Lennon-style sunglasses. How did I know he had blue eyes behind the sunglasses? I knew him. Well, not personally. I knew of him.

Mom stood and smiled as if he was another customer. I sat and stared.

Hi, welcome to Mo’ Doze Motel, Mom announced. What can I do for you?

He smiled that beautifully wicked smile he always gave to the press and said, Yes, I would like a room.

Okay. Single, double?

Single.

How many nights?

Three, I believe. If I need it longer, can I let you know?

Sure thing.

I moved to the counter. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. I hoped he would throw a smile at me.

When his credit card cleared, Mom gave him the key to room 8. He left.

Mom frowned at my expression.

Toni, you ok?

Holy shit, Mom, do you know who that was?

His credit card said he was E. Mandanny. Wonder what the E. stands for?

E. Mandanny!

She shook her head and shrugged.

The frontman of Dark at the End, like the greatest band that ever lived, the only man who was able to successfully fuse punk, pop, metal, and ska into one sound.

Oh, okay.

Mom sat down and took a bite of her burger.

Oh, Mom. Your priorities are so messed up.

She laughed, spitting chewed burger into her napkin.

I leaned over the counter and looked out the window, hoping he would walk by.

I wonder what he’s doing in Big Arcadia. There’s nothing in the press about him touring or releasing a new album.

Maybe he’s on vacation, Mom pointed out.

People like him do not vacation in Big Arcadia. He could go to Mexico or Europe. Maybe he’s opening another Gorilla Cattle.

Gorilla what?

The Gorilla Cattle. It's a chain of clubs he owns.

Oh. Silly me, she said. So this is cool, having him here in our little motel, huh?

Hell, yes.

Hmm, maybe we should get a picture of him with us and we can hang it here in the office, right there on the wall where people can see it. Might be good for business, right?

Eiw! That is so tacky.

She smiled and bit into her burger.

AT 9 O’CLOCK THAT NIGHT, the desk phone rang. Mom slept on the couch. I sat with my feet up on the desk, reading a chapter in my Western Civ. book. I picked it up on the first ring.

Front desk, I quietly said. Toni speaking.

Hello, Toni. This is Mr. Mandanny in room 8.

My head spun. I placed my feet on the floor and sat straight.

Oh. Yes, Mr. Mandanny. What can I do for you?

There’s no ice bucket in my room. I could use some ice, please.

Sorry about that. Right away, sir.

Thank you.

He hung up.

I softly placed the phone back on the cradle, hopped out of the chair, and did a silent happy dance. Seeing that Mom was still asleep and there was no reason to wake her, I grabbed an ice bucket off the back shelf and left the office.

I walked to the vestibule and filled the bucket with ice. I then checked my reflection in the snack machine. I didn’t look like the bimbos he was normally seen with; I wore jeans, an old Blur t-shirt, and my straightened hair was pulled back into a tail. Maybe he was tired of glamour?

Oh, please, I whispered.

Who was I kidding? A) I was 15 years old, B) I was poor and uninteresting, and C) Pa-lease, not even in my wildest dreams would a man like E. Mandanny be interested in me. Some poor black high school girl from a hick Florida town?

I walked to his room. The door was open. He leaned on the threshold, his blue eyes staring.

Thank you, Toni, he said, reaching for the bucket.

I handed it to him, trying to keep my arms from shaking. You’re welcome.

Would you like to come in for a minute?

Fuck, yes!

Well, I’m not sure... I said.

Oh, ok...

Yes. Yes, I would love to, I said.

We smiled. He stepped to the side and showed me into his candle-lit room.

You know we have electricity here, I joked.

Yes, I know, he replied, shutting the door. He walked past me and placed the bucket of ice on the dresser. Can I make you a drink?

A bottle of wine waited on the dresser. I looked away from it, pretending not to care.

Ok, if you'll have one with me.

He poured two glasses. We clinked them together. I smiled and sipped the wine. It was strong, burning down my throat. Mmmm. Er, good.

I noticed the silence and said, So, what’re you doing here in Big Arcadia. You on tour?

You know who I am?

Duh, yeah, I have everything you ever released, even the imports. You’re God, I said, then quickly regretted. I mean, a God. Not the only one, mind you. I’m also a big fan of Husk.

Husk. I see.

Mandanny smiled, sipped his drink, and then peered into my eyes. To tell you the truth, Toni Brown, I came to see you.

Wha- what?

Mandanny moved closer. He smelt so beautiful. A bucket spilled between my legs. Know what I mean?

I came to see you, Toni Brown.

Mandanny kissed me. Chills exploded down my back. My arms went limp; I dropped