Arranged Marriage: Everything I Never Knew We Needed

By Bobbie Suzette

Arranged Marriage: Everything I Never Knew We Needed creates a space to receive and release what most people would consider impossible here on earth. This inspiring book contains transformational insights on what it means to have an arranged marriage through divine design, no matter your relationship status. Author Bobbie Suzette uses h

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Apr 12, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637699294

Bobbie Suzette

Bobbie Suzette is the first to admit that her only qualification as an author is that God inspired her to write her first book, God Appointments. Bobbie's greatest joy is being a bride, wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. Her love for God's people and orphaned children has led her to fascinating places, including Brazil, South Africa, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Guatemala, and Israel. Bobbie's passion is simply connecting with the people placed in her path each day by Father Yahweh, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. Henceforth together living heaven on earth, as we "give God's breath away."For more information, visit www.GodAppointments.com

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Arranged Marriage

Everything I Never Knew We Needed

Sincerely, Bobbie Suzette

Arranged Marriage: Everything I Never Knew We Needed

Trilogy Christian Publishers A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2021 by Bobbie Suzette

Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMP), Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org. Scripture quotations marked CEB are taken from the COMMON ENGLISH BIBLE. © Copyright 2011 COMMON ENGLISH BIBLE. All rights reserved. Used by permission. (www.CommonEnglishBible.com). Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB), Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.TM 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked TPT are from The Passion Translation®. Copyright © 2017, 2018 by Passion & Fire Ministries, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ThePassionTranslation.com.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

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Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-63769-928-7

E-ISBN: 978-1-63769-929-4

The one I love calls to me:

Arise, my dearest. Hurry, my darling.

Come away with me!

I have come as you have asked to draw

you to my heart and lead you out.

For now is the time, my beautiful one.

(Song of Songs 2:10, TPT)

Father You said, "I am an

ambassador of Your heart," and

for that, I am grateful. I know that

You know, "I love Your people,

and sometimes it hurts,

henceforth Your great

awakening!"

Ɣ

I am Yours, for a time such as this.

Heartfelt Hints

As I willingly open my heart to His undeniable truths within this book, I am aware that my mind is like a gatekeeper; nothing enters or leaves without my approval. Therefore, in advance, I encourage each reader to be the keeper of your personal "Kingdom gate" as you give yourself permission to ponder each truth, highlighting and writing them down in the space provided within each chapter. It would also do a person well to consider each truth as a seed, with great anticipation that your harvest will be "everything you never knew you needed." I will admit that the first time I read Arranged Marriage from cover to cover, I had no idea that this kind of harvest even existed! But now I know, and in time, you will know too.

TPT, known as The Passion Translation Bible, gives us a view of scripture from a place of love. Father’s pure, no-motive, heart-saturated love puts our flesh to sleep so that we may hear and receive the Truth of His love within the Bible. Holy Spirit encouraged me years ago, Bobbie, if there is anything in the Bible that does not communicate love, it is what you are failing to see. Henceforth, Holy Spirit brings us a view of Father’s Word through a lens of love, that we may deeply know Him. Holy Spirit gently reminds us that He is the one and only person who can purify all translations to God’s original meaning. (TPT and other translations are referenced throughout the Arranged Marriage book.)

Thank You Note

Dear Father Yahweh, I humbly return this book to you, much like Jesus returned Holy Spirit to be placed within each of us through His life. I am overwhelmed with Your ways and the privilege to release Your Love Language through my life. Thank You for making it possible that we may declare, I am, who you are Lord, in each moment, and that is it!

Thank you, my dearest Dutch, for presenting me well and providing a safe space that I may give God’s breath away on the pages of His Arranged Marriage book. Together, we joyfully release Holy Spirit’s voice to our precious children, Billie Lou and her husband John, Robbie Sue and her husband William, Blake and his wife Ashley, Bryce, and his future wife, our grandchildren, all the generations to come, and our Da Fam. As a family, we present this book in the name of Jesus, as His fire of love gift to every person, in every nation, throughout His kingdom world.

I lovingly thank our granddaughter, Carlie, for her creative editing and her thoughts along the way.

In addition, I give thanks and deep appreciation to our dear friend Bonnie O’Hare, for providing Scriptural awareness and unwavering friendship.

Sincere thanks to my sisters in Christ, Jane, Theresa, Stephanie, Andrea, Carol, Kelly, Sandy, Mimi, Concetta, Pauline, Carmen, and Debbie, for your deep comprehension of this book while living it out and for teaching the teacher. I got It!

Special thanks to my lifelong friend Diane for listening to Holy Spirit and introducing me to TBN and Trilogy Publishing.

Eternal thanks to the Trilogy team for accepting and launching His Arranged Marriage book.

Always and forever,

Bobbie Suzette

Invitation

I am privileged to invite you into this lifegiving book, Arranged Marriage. I have had the blessing and honor of walking alongside my beautiful bride, Bobbie Suzette, as she experienced the ideas, truths, revelation, and inspiration given to her by the Holy Spirit. In my fifty years of being a believer in Jesus, and the hundreds of Christian books that I have read, I can honestly say that the way Bobbie hears and receives messages from the Lord is unique. As you walk down the aisles of each chapter in this book, you will find personal wedding favors given just for you.

It is the greatest blessing to be Bobbie’s husband. She is a loving bride, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend to all who know her. With all the relationships we have, we both believe strongly in what we call the first circle. It is a place where there is only room for three; Jesus, Bobbie, and me. Within this circle, I am blessed to be her second groom. Bobbie is first a humble bride of Christ because Jesus is preeminent in her life. Regardless, if you are married or single, this book will take you places you have never gone before.

Ever since Bobbie was a little girl, she has had a special connection with Father God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. Several times throughout her life, she has been in situations where if she had not listened to the voice of the Lord, people would have passed before their time from this world. Which explains her faithfulness as a listener to Holy Spirit.

Another undeniable gift that Bobbie has is the ability to release Christ into people’s lives through God appointments. This is also the title of her first book, where she shares how God directs meetings or situations with people that could not be coincidences, many times with miraculous results. People throughout the world reach out to Bobbie to hear from her heart what the Lord is saying. I have seen countless lives changed through her words of wisdom as the Lord lives and loves through her life.

I know that you will be filled as you read Arranged Marriage. Although the title may birth a new meaning, you will not be disappointed at what you will glean throughout this wonderful reading. Each chapter shares transformational, godly insights into what it means to communicate with Christ.

Many Blessings,

Dutch Ber

Welcome Family and Friends

Thank you for considering the Arranged Marriage book. I am blessed to share my thoughts with you. I say my thoughts only because the awareness of Holy Spirit is coming through my life. Which leads me to clarify that I believe to the best of my ability that the thoughts in this book are from Holy Spirit. However, as you read Arranged Marriage, one of the many things you will discover is that we each have a self that was never meant for us, including my own self. This self, when not saturated by Holy Spirit, can dilute or water down a message.

Before reading this book, ask Holy Spirit to purify each word before you receive them as your own. If you disagree with anything written within these pages, gently give your thoughts back to Holy Spirit, and He will give you understanding if needed in your personal life. It is important that I know you will be protected from any hidden motive or dry spots in my flesh (self), which is nothing more than a personal will versus the will of Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.

In addition, I encourage you not to take thoughts from others, including mine, without purifying them through Holy Spirit. We can all hear directly from God for ourselves! Father Yahweh has placed His Spirit in all His people so we would not have to go through others to communicate with Him. We must simply accept Jesus as our Savior and allow Holy Spirit permission into our lives.

And as for you, the anointing (Holy Spirit) which you received from Him remains in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you remain in Him.

1 John 2:27 (NASB)

This does not mean we cannot learn from gifted teachers and take direction from people. I am grateful for the people Father Yahweh has put in my life and the books He has allowed me to read. It was many of those teachers and authors who expanded my mind to know that I can personally hear from Father and Jesus through Holy Spirit.

Henceforth, I take no offense and encourage you to cleanse my thoughts through Holy Spirit by asking Him to confirm each truth to you personally. Even in my own life, it has taken me years for several of the Lord’s thoughts to become my own. I guess that is what the Bible means when it says, The Word became flesh in John 1:14. Yes, first with Jesus and so with us.

The Lord showed me that our understanding may take time and practice because of personal dry spots (bruises, wounds, traumas) that are hidden within our flesh. These dry spots are areas that are not fully saturated by Holy Spirit. Dry spots can keep us from receiving a message from Jesus, and they can also dilute a message coming through our lives. That is why I pray that you will only read this book through Holy Spirit and leave your flesh (self) out of it.

Jesus cautions me not to saturate my dry spots from the outside world by works, trying to be better, or trying to change. Henceforth, there is a powerful path by which we can give Holy Spirit permission to release our internal well and allow Holy Spirit’s love, up and out of us, to saturate, penetrate and medicate the dry spots from the inside out. Holy Spirit does this effortlessly, with no condemnation or pain to us.

I have experienced this cleansing first-hand over and over with Holy Spirit. I have also experienced trying to cover the dry spots on my own through outside addictions, good or bad. Even good, healthy addictions are counterfeit and can only give temporary relief. The latter approach leaves us empty and separated from the fruit of His Spirit, which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, and self control (Galatians 5:22–23).

Through practice, I have learned to open my mind and allow Holy Spirit the freedom to release what He desires me to know. This requires us to stay open to His voice each day and allow time for His complete direction. What if Abraham would have stopped listening to Yahweh (God)? He would have killed his son Isaac instead of taking the provided lamb as a sacrifice (Genesis 22). God has given us everything we need to claim our arranged marriage with Him first, and then if applicable, with our spouse, by listening to Holy Spirit in each moment.

And I will ask the Father and he will give you another Savior, the Holy Spirit of Truth, who will be to you a friend just like me—and he will never leave you. The world won’t receive him because they can’t see him or know him. But you will know him intimately because he remains with you and will live inside you.

John 14:16–17 (TPT)

Therefore, I feel passionate with great anticipation about you reading this book through Holy Spirit. I offer you a prayer to declare before reading Arranged Marriage if you are willing:

Lord, I give you my total ‘self’ as I read the words from the Arranged Marriage book. I am open to receive each page through You, Jesus. Lead me through those things I have not yet experienced, providing full understanding in Your time. Holy Spirit, I give You permission to plant seeds within my life that will grow Your fruit and advance my personal awareness of Your love for me. Always remembering that a mind made up is a battle won! I know in advance that the enemy will not want me to read this book, so I determine in advance that my mind is made up to complete this book, no matter what comes against me, including me!

This prayer gives us awareness that the only thing that can stop the flow of Holy Spirit from flowing through our lives is our self (flesh). Sometimes what we think is, is not, and what we think is not turns out to be what is. Let us not think about what an arranged marriage is or what it is not. Together let us invite Holy Spirit into our lives to simply love us.

Bobbie Suzette

Chapter One

Getting to Know You

History and Heritage

The Truth, Nothing but His Truth

Faith Moves

Cross Talk

No Fault Jesus

History and Heritage

Most people would agree that God is in control, and yet, through Jesus, it was God who gave us free will to choose. So, which is it? Or is it both? Or is there something that we are failing to see?

When things here on earth do not make sense, I ask Holy Spirit to bring me new thoughts. He does not always answer right away. This is not because He is keeping anything from us; it is just the opposite. It is to protect our personal experience through practicing with Holy Spirit and His thoughts becoming one with us, through living it out. This is critical because His thoughts and our experience/practice of living out His thoughts are how His Word within us becomes flesh, our personal flesh in oneness with His Word. To simplify, I will share an old quote, I hear, and I forget, I see, and I remember, I do, and I understand.

Let’s begin; there is a supernatural flow that Holy Spirit taught me. I first heard the expression through a dear friend and anointed (gifted) pastor. I did not understand the depth of this process when I first received this message through human words. However, through Holy Spirit, I now have a deeper understanding and a personal revelation because I have experienced the Lord’s Word becoming flesh in my own life. In sentence form, this saturation process is: Come and see, go and experience, return and learn.

This is a pause moment to write these three bullet points down and keep them close while reading this book. Consider each point as a key to unlock everything you never knew you needed for heaven on earth! Spend as much time as you need on the next few paragraphs; this will expand your mind and increase your understanding immeasurably.

Next, journal the following thoughts by each bullet point, as you first picture Jesus waving you to come close to Him while saying, Come and see. This communication (direction) could be a thought from Holy Spirit, a word (message) through a person, a vision (picture) within your mind (soul), a dream, or all the above. The awareness of His communication is the first key.

Now, picture yourself experiencing/practicing the above come and see communication with Holy Spirit. This is the go and experience portion of the saturation process. Living out these moments are critical and provide the greatest opportunity for deep saturation. Also, remember there are several different ways we experience/practice the initial communication, which I will talk about in more depth in future chapters. Each experience is unique and personal, providing many keys. (There are also many examples in my previous book, God Appointments.)

But when the truth-giving Spirit comes, he will unveil the reality of every truth within you. He won’t speak on his own, but only what he hears from the Father, and he will reveal prophetically (future awareness) to you what is to come.

John 16:13 (TPT)

Keep in mind what Jesus spoke and lived, I only do what I see my Father do; I only say what I hear my Father say. John 8:28 also explains that Jesus did nothing on His own initiative. With that said, the return and learn saturation process is my favorite part. This is when we meet back with Holy Spirit, and He recalls/explains the initial come and see moment and the go and experience appointments.

During the return and learn portion Holy Spirit gives perfect awareness and recollection of how Jesus saturated His love and identity within His people through your life. This also includes how Holy Spirit saturates His love within you personally, as you receive through another person’s life. Returning to learn with Holy Spirit is like a date with God to view your vacation photos, along with the best commentary you could ever imagine. There are no limits on keys within these dates with the Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I call these encounters God appointments, truly heaven on earth.

Jesus gave me a master key when He shared a visual picture of a circle, with all three keys of the above saturation process flowing freely, confirming why Jesus willingly died to release His Spirit to live inside of us. I believe Father Yahweh’s circle of life communication saturation process is what brings heaven to earth. Trust that by the end of this book, you will know that you know!

I also believe in faith (trusting in what you cannot see yet), that the arranged marriage covenant is hidden deep within the following pages. I have no idea of each detail that Holy Spirit will write in this book, but I have a sense that I may be giving His breath away through eyes and ears of experience and practice, both old and new. Just the other day, Holy Spirit gave me thoughts of how His God Appointments book is an example of the come and see and go and experience portion of what Holy Spirit calls His circle of life. The Arranged Marriage book brings clarity and helps complete the circle through the return and learn portion of Holy Spirits circle of life.

The Truth, Nothing but His Truth

The start of this book was in total faith. While traveling through the state of Kentucky, I heard the words, It is time! Holy Spirit gave me the title of this book five years previous, and although I knew the title was from the Lord (come and see Bobbie), I had nothing to say! Perhaps I needed more go and experience moments and a lot more practice with Jesus. The only direction I had from Holy Spirit to physically start this book was the title, Arranged Marriage, and His recent words, It is time!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5–6 (NKJV)

I can see Father’s path, and I am ready to trust that Jesus will walk with me and light the way for each step and each word He wants to share with us in His book. In this moment, as I write, Holy Spirit is recalling once again His words, It is time! These same words were spoken to me through Holy Spirit on April 27, 2012, seven years prior to this very month, and one of the most powerful come and see moments in my life. In reflection, Father was mentoring me on how to give my thoughts back to Him for purification, protection, and peace, truly a transformational come and see appointment.

Today, as Holy Spirit recalls this moment, I have great awareness that we are returning and learning together with our Father. I remember that God appointment like it was yesterday because it was one of the first visions I could recall with such clarity and awareness that it was Father Yahweh teaching me about His Son Jesus.

I would like to share more with you; however, let me be clear. The greatest revelation or realization that I have ever received from Holy Spirit is that every single person in the world is designed by God to communicate with Him. So be encouraged that every word, story, and example flowing through my life is flowing through your life too. Jesus makes no difference in the inheritance given to those who believe; the difference can only come through each of us, as we give Holy Spirit permission to deliver the voice of Jesus and His Father’s voice through our lives.

I see it like this: we were created by God to walk, and we trust that process because we can see it in the natural. We can also see that there are steps needed to equip us to first crawl, walk and run. However, no one tells us that we must teach our children to do this; it is a natural process, and because we have seen the results, we walk. In the same way, there is a supernatural side of us that we cannot see. But the process and results can be released through the same awareness of knowing and trusting in faith (knowing before we see) that we are created to communicate with God and that everyone is able. This is the supernatural flow that brings heaven to earth through each of our lives.

As I opened my computer and started typing in faith, I realized this book is about relationships and one of those being an arranged marriage. When the Lord first gave me this title, I was limited to my natural thoughts which were about a man and woman being placed in an arranged marriage by parental or other influence. However, as the Lord expands my mind regarding His title, I realize that the awareness from Holy Spirit of an arranged marriage means something quite different. Let us continue and experience this God appointment together.

As I mentioned, April 27, 2012, was a very impactful day and year with Holy Spirit. This day did not start out in the best light. When things do not line up with what Holy Spirit has taught me, or they conflict with what I know about the love of our Father, I ask Him to give me new thoughts. Wow, did He ever give me new thoughts! Let’s just say it was the beginning of my new life with Christ. That even sounds strange to me because I have had awareness of Holy Spirit’s voice within me since I was a little girl. In reflection, I did not know Him intimately; He just seemed like someone who loved me.

I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.

Song of Solomon 7:10 (NKJV)

It is like living in a royal family your entire life and absolutely knowing you have an amazing inheritance, but you never thought to read the formal documents that prove your connection and what has been given to you. Why is it important to read the inheritance documents? There is always a possibility that someone will try to steal your Jesus identity and destroy what you have been given through Christ. Or worse yet, you may not know about an important benefit that has been given to you for the earth, henceforth miss the very gift that Jesus released on the cross for us to live heaven on earth! One example for me was deliverance described right in the middle of Luke 4:18. Deliverance is removing any obstacles from your mind (soul) that would stand in the way of your God-given inheritance.

The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed, To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.

Luke 4:18–19 (NKJV)

I had no idea of the depth within this scripture! This is one of many great revelations (new insight) I received regarding my salvation inheritance (saved to belong in God’s kingdom family through Jesus), which includes forgiveness, healing of our body, and deliverance of our mind as Jesus spoke, It is finished in John 19:30. I also did not know that some of the benefits within our inheritance have been overlooked by many religious organizations. Probably because they did not know their authority and people made it weird or spooky.

Jesus did not make salvation, healing, and deliverance creepy or scary. He did not allow the way people behaved to influence Him. So, why should we? I see a pattern over the years of people making God’s greatest gifts seem freakish; this is obviously Satan’s plan, that we may overlook what we have been given for power and to benefit and bless others.

Father shows me a similar perversion with praying in His Spirit (private personal prayer language). Through much practice with Holy Spirit, He confirms that our private personal prayer language is one of the most powerful and beautiful natural responses to His life, just like breathing, and yet many people make it downright strange or dismiss it altogether.

Holy Spirit explains that Satan cannot understand our private personal prayer language released through our awareness of the baptism of Holy Spirit. Henceforth, our private communication line with Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit that no one else can understand, including us, because it just sounds like gibberish. But do not be fooled; through faith, the power of His love (communication) will show up in complete understanding! Wow, no wonder the enemy does not want us to give Father’s breath away in our private personal prayer language.

Some people believe that praying in His Spirit is synonymous with praying in tongues. However, my understanding is that tongues are a gift of the Spirit, found in 1 Corinthians 12:8–11, not every Christian speaks in tongues. Yet, Paul instructs Christians to pray in God’s Spirit on all occasions; therefore, we know that praying in His Spirit is for all His people!

Pray passionately in the Spirit, as you constantly intercede with every form of prayer at all times. Pray the blessings of God upon all his believers.

Ephesians 6:18 (TPT)

Praying in His Spirit (private personal prayer language) is also different than our personal Spiritlove language with Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. Our God-given love language is nothing more than us listening to Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit in our native language, the language that we understand (e.g., English, Spanish, Portuguese). Many of you know about the five love languages of our flesh, and that is great, but those can grow our self if not under the guidance of Holy Spirit. Again, our authentic love language is simply our communication from within our secret place, where we hear from Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit in complete understanding. I will add that praying in His Spirit enhances our hearing ear of God’s love language (voice) within us. Amazing!

I have taught on the five love languages of our flesh (self) for years, and occasionally I still do. I am thankful for this communication bridge. However, it is necessary to discern our Spirit love language from our self love languages. I am grateful for both! Jesus highlights the importance of knowing the difference so our self does not get out of control through need. Our self has five different ways it wants and needs to receive and give love (affirmation, time, gifts, service, touch), full of motive and conditional. Our Spirit (Holy) has one direction, love (pure love), with no motive and unconditional.

Holy Spirit gives me awareness to consider our flesh love languages only to build trust with others, and the privilege, to cooperate and release Father’s one and only Holy Spirit love language up and out of them. Again, with Jesus, we are created in love, to be love, never to need love; henceforth, I have no need to know my personal flesh love languages. As we become one with Jesus, all other languages will fade away.

Again, what we must know is our legal rights and our authority to stand up for what is ours, and protection from the self of us, that was never meant for us! This wisdom and knowledge help us to understand our inheritance and how to proceed in authority. The truth is, no matter what awareness we have regarding God’s inheritance to us, it is still ours. In my last book, God Appointments, Holy Spirit gave me an example of what life would be like without our private personal prayer language; He told me, It’s like having a trillion dollars in the bank; however, you don’t know the account number, but it is still yours! Holy Spirit came to live inside of us, so we have access to our inheritance.

And now, because we are united to Christ, we both have equal and direct access in the realm of the Holy Spirit to come before the Father!

Ephesians 2:18 (TPT)

Faith Moves

Looking back on April 27, 2012, just seven years prior to the start of this book, as Father Yahweh spoke those familiar words, It is time! I am now aware of why I was confused and why I was using my own strength to bring forth a prophetic word (foreknowing future) that was spoken over my life, instead of accepting the invitation from Jesus to step into His inheritance, in His time. I was also measuring natural results to confirm this assignment was, or was not, from God. Today, I know the prophetic word did come from Holy Spirit; however, I moved ahead on my own, without knowing some of the details and waiting upon God’s timing.

That morning, seven years ago, I remember feeling like such a failure. I was sharing my thoughts with Holy Spirit regarding a conference I spoke at on behalf of African orphans. Much to my surprise, not one child was sponsored. On the ride home, I tearfully questioned that the word spoken over me to feed orphans perhaps was not from God. As I woke up the next morning, I gave voice to the same thing I say every day, Good morning Lord, thank you for this day and all that is good.

As I stopped by my dressing area to grab a notebook for my devotion, there it was! It was more real than anything I had ever experienced in the natural. It was the beginning of something bigger than my self and the beginning of the end, of my self of me that was never meant for me.

In reflection, I can see that my questioning Jesus about His direction for me in ministry was much like John the Baptist, as he questioned Jesus during his stay in jail. John sent back a word to ask Jesus, Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another? I was not questioning who Jesus is; however, I was questioning His word over my life. Sometimes when things do not turn out the way we think they should turn out; it leaves us time to question and doubt. That is okay because Jesus will take the time to walk it out with you, just like He does with me and did with John the Baptist.

Jesus did not confirm directly to John that He (Jesus) was the chosen One, but rather Jesus spoke a language that John would understand. Jesus then demonstrated signs and wonders, knowing that John would recognize Isaiah’s prophecy. Jesus revealed to John something bigger than John’s ministry and brought an end to something not bigger: John’s doubt. John knew that he was created for this very reason, and he knew the signs. It just felt wrong to John because it did not look or feel like he thought it would.

Perhaps you are on the road, or in a place, or having thoughts that do not make sense. Your life may seem like you woke up in the wrong career, wrong family, or wrong marriage.