Love Stinks: Miss Fortune World, #4

By Kamaryn Kelsey

Ida Belle and Fortune feel it's time to set Gertie up with the perfect man. After all, keeping her busy with a guy of her own--one they don't have to worry about--is a win/win situation for everyone. But when the FBI shows up, they learn that Gertie's perfect man is far from that. But what happened? How did an old friend of Walter's end up on the wrong side of the law? It's not only the fertilizer he sells that is offensive... in this case, Love Sinks.

 

Authors note: This is Fan Fiction. It is not written by the original author, but by a fan who has special permission to create stories using the author's characters and locations.

 

Special thanks to Jana DeLeon and J&R Fan Fiction for making this possible.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kamaryn Kelsey
• Release date: Mar 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201076665

Book preview

This is Fan Fiction. It is not written by the original author, but by a fan who has special permission to create stories using the author's characters and locations. The events/timeline may not coincide with those in the original Miss Fortune series.

Special thanks to Jana DeLeon and J&R Fan Fiction for making this possible.

Cover design by Heidi Sutherlin:  https://www.upwork.com/fl/heidisutherlin

Chapter 1

WELL, HERE WE GO AGAIN. Gertie’s about to fall in love.

I knew Ida Belle was right. It had been a few months since Gertie’s last romance and she’d left earlier in the day to attend a wedding in Dallas. That wedding would no doubt short-circuit her common sense and she’d find another—to be blunt—loser. We both loved Gertie dearly, but she’d developed a pattern of falling for the wrong man.

That was fast! Has she called you already? I asked. Please tell me this one at least speaks English. I understood Merlin better than Gertie’s last fling.

Your Catalan’s still a little rusty?

Rusty? I snorted. It’s non-existent. Still.

We were sitting on my front porch, enjoying the pleasant evening air. A plate of fresh chocolate-chip cookies and a pitcher of iced milk sat on the small table between us. I refilled our glasses and recollected a few of the short-lived romances we had suffered through with Gertie in recent months. Like Count von Mayotte, whom she’d met on the internet. He turned out to be a conman from Nigeria whose only interest in Gertie was her bank account. And that good old Argentinian cowboy? He was a drug runner looking for a place to lay low between runs. And then there was the Indian swami seeking US citizenship through marriage. And the Croatian arms dealer hoping to establish a connection that wouldn’t arouse the suspicion of the US government.

Don’t forget about the fruitcake from Fiji and the Bronx belcher.

Ida Belle read my mind.

You’d think she’d be able to find one man who isn’t on Interpol’s most wanted or cheating on his other two wives. I shook my head and then chuckled. It’s almost like she deliberately chooses losers.

She was silent, and I glanced sideways at her with my brows raised.

You’ve nailed it, Fortune—Gertie has a little problem with men.

A little problem? That’s like saying Celia is a little unattractive.

Ida Belle made a face. I wouldn’t go that far. But my point is that Gertie IS choosing the wrong men, whether she realizes it or not. And it’s time we helped her break the cycle.

What do you suggest we do? You know she doesn’t like it when we check up on her latest love interest behind her back.

No, she gets upset when we discover the nasty secret he’s hiding before she does. Gertie doesn’t like being forced to admit she’s wrong—again.

She had a point. If I had a boyfriend whose secrets would end our relationship, I wouldn’t want to hear about it from someone else. However, I’d like to think I’d be more careful in the future, unlike Gertie who rushed from one disastrous relationship to another. But I didn’t know what we could do about it and said so.

We’re going to introduce Gertie to the perfect man.

I choked on the sip of milk I’d just taken and jumped up to spit it into the yard. Then I wiped my mouth and gaped at Ida Belle.

Is he from Fantasyland? Or Dreamworld? I happen to know that such a thing doesn’t exist, although I know men who think they are.

I wasn’t referring to Carter, who was well aware of his faults. Besides, he had so many good qualities, it was easy to overlook his flaws. I thought about his captivating smile, those devastating green eyes...

What? I knew my face was red but Ida Belle just smiled and I relaxed, knowing she understood.

I said James is an old friend of Walter’s.

I sat down in my chair with a slight head shake, wondering why she even proposed such a scheme. She’ll automatically reject anyone we try fixing her up with.

That’s the beauty of it. Gertie won’t know that we’re behind the meeting.

If he’s perfect for Gertie, then she’s sure to meet and fall for a traveling clown on the lam for counterfeiting before that happens, I predicted.

Maybe. But I think she’d drop the clown in a hurry.

Ida Belle reached into her pocket and pulled out a photo, gazing at it fondly. I was about to ask if Walter knew she was obsessing over his friend when she handed it to me and I saw he was in the picture—and looking dashing in formal evening wear. And so was the man next to him—presumably James.

Do you really think Gertie will be able to say no to that?

He’s rather handsome, isn’t he?

Meh.

She shrugged and I didn’t blame her for preferring Walter. But James wouldn’t need to troll for women at Walmart. If anything, women likely hit on him because he was the proverbial tall, dark, and handsome man, though he was probably gray by now.

How’s his health? I asked.

Looks meant nothing if Gertie could leave him in the dust. The photo was well over ten years old and it was possible he’d spent the years since then indulging a sweet tooth, or he had bad knees, or he had a lung removed.

He runs the Boston Marathon every year.

I was impressed and more so when she continued.

He loves to travel, and best of all—according to Walter—he isn’t interested in money or women the age of his daughter.

My high hopes crashed. Daughter? I hope James doesn’t also come with an ex-wife or three.

He’s a widower. His only wife died about five years ago and Walter said he’s lonely.

Does he have any other children?

She scratched her jaw and tried to remember. He might have a son, but I’m not sure. Is it important?

I shrugged. I guess not. As long as they aren’t running their father’s life and micromanaging every decision he makes.

I can call Walter if you want but the cell service at Lake Lou is patchy.

Her offer was half-hearted and I shook my head. Carter and Walter were fishing with some friends in Northern Louisiana and I knew they both needed the break. Besides,