From This Day Forward: A Practical Guide to Help You Rewrite Your Marriage Story

By Dr. Eddie Rivera

When couples marry out of love, they never expect their lives to get worse. But in too many marriages, one day, one or both people wake up and don't want to be in the marriage anymore. 

"I don't know how it went so wrong!" 

The relationship you have with your spouse is directly related to your happiness, joy, healt

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: May 19, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685565350

Dr. Eddie Rivera

Dr. Eddie Rivera Jr. and his wife, Brendaliz Rivera, have been married for thirty-five years. They have two adult sons, Giovanni Andrew and Evan Michael Rivera, and presently live in Orlando, Florida. Dr. Rivera has a master's in Christian counseling and a doctorate in ministry with certifications in family and marriage therapy. As a first-time author, he brings to these pages honesty and clarity of thought along with practical points of view intertwined with biblical principles, which offer a feeling of trust and hope. His life's message has always been that there is hope for the restoration of love and marriage.

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FROM THIS DAY

FORWARD

Dr. Eddie Rivera Jr.

From This Day Forward

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2022 by Dr. Eddie Rivera Jr.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Cover design by: Omar Galarza at In-spīr Creative Group

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-68556-534-3

E-ISBN: 978-1-68556-535-0

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to my mother, Juanita Rivera. Serving and loving on people was her life and calling. Her dream will forever live through me. I will love you forever, Mom!

I also dedicate this book to all of those that have gone through rough times and have even failed in marriage. 

There is and always will be hope to reset and find true love again. Trust me when I say you can rewrite your script—from this day forward.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I’d like to thank my wife, Brendaliz Rivera, for always being a great support and the best cheerleader in my corner. I’m forever yours. I love you!

To my father, Eddie, Sr., for the clear and constant example of what integrity, manhood, and fatherhood should always be. I love you.

I’d like to thank Cristina Torres for making herself available in helping me get started on this journey. You and Gaston have been heaven-sent, and I am forever great-full for your love and friendship.

To Agustin Quiles, my dear friend and colleague: You have helped pave the way in ways that are inconceivable. Your constant selflessness and consistent effort to make yourself, your resources, and those valuable people around you available at a moment’s notice will never be forgotten. I love you!

To Daniel Torres, my brother, my confidant and friend, I love you beyond words. Your passion and pursuit of loving on people drew me to you. I realized that we were so much alike more than thirty-five years ago. We will continue to do great things for the kingdom.

To my newfound friend and brother, Eli Gonzalez: You have such an ability and brilliance about you to be able to say things the way I want to. To explain things the way I’d like to and to listen to my heart and reveal it in the language the world can understand. Thank you!

To all those friends and family that have inspired me, I say thank you all.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter One: We Must Trump Me

I Know What You’re Going Through

Why Am I Not Getting What I Deserve?

He Trusts You

Chapter Two: I’m Not Supposed to Be Here

I Don’t Believe It’s His Time Yet!

Music

Chapter Three: Fork in the Road

Forte

Chapter Four: The Road to Redemption that Led Me to You

Redemption

Fifty Years of Forgiveness

How We Became Counselors

Chapter Five: The Family Team

Talk to Me

The Home Team

New Activities

Family Brand

Greatness Attracts

Re-invent and Rise

Chapter Six: The Transparent Problem of Transparency

Be Transparent, but Also Protective

Third Wheel Flat

Chapter Seven: Managing Emotions

Impossible

Think About How You Think

Managing Anger

Understanding Silence

Chapter Eight: Know Your Identity

You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

The Marriage Blender

Understand Who You Are

Parenting to Form Purpose

When Parenting for Identity Goes Right

Chapter Nine: Change Your Script, Change Your Life

Your Script

Intentionality

Row With Me

Chapter Ten: Love

The Heartbeat of Every Marriage

Different Types of Love

What Love Truly Is

Chapter Eleven: Intimacy vs. Porn

The Spark of Attraction

Intimacy

The Porn Problem

Repentance Is the Road to Recovery

Chapter Twelve: Sex and Sexual Healing

Sex

Sexual Healing

Chapter Thirteen: Recognizing Red Flags

Don’t Lose You

Ten Principles to Manage a Healthy Relationship:

1) Be clear on your expectations.

2) Invest time and resources in your marriage.

3) Stay authentic, genuine, and practical.

4) Stay available and approachable.

5) Don’t violate your core values.

6) Be Truthful and transparent.

7) Be on the lookout for when or if your relationship is turning toxic.

8) Set high standards for your marriage.

9) Appreciate the fruits your partner brings.

10) Don’t become a slave or a slave owner.

Chapter Fourteen: The Get-Away

Give Yourselves a Break

Bring the Magic Back

Chapter Fifteen: It’s Worth It

Facts

Everything You Want Is on the Other Side of Hard

Twelve Months from Now

Keep in Touch

Recommended Reading

From This Day forward study Guide

Chapter 1 Questions

Chapter 2 Questions

Chapter 3 Questions

Chapter 4 Questions

Chapter 5 Questions

Chapter 6 Questions

Chapter 7 Questions

Chapter 8 Questions

Chapter 9 Questions

Chapter 10 Questions

Chapter 11 Questions

Chapter 12 Questions

Chapter 13 Questions

Chapter 14 Questions

Chapter 15 Questions

FOREWORD

Relationships matter. In the very early chapters of Genesis, the assessment of the Triune God is that it is not good for humans to be alone. I believe it was the late Gregory Bateson, the famed anthropologist, who said, It takes two to know one. We cannot know ourselves by ourselves. Again, relationships matter.

The profound alienation caused by the tragedy of our original parents in that Edenic Paradise turned a dream into a nightmare: death and sin entered the human race because of their choice to believe the lie that we could be like God without obedience to God. That by asserting our independence from our Creator, we could become just like the Creator, being able to distinguish between good and evil by our independent self-governance.

The lure of the serpentine figure, who always hides in the shadows, offering veiled accusations in the form of enticing questions, managed to seduce both the woman and the man to rebel against the one prohibition that would wreak havoc on the totality of Creation itself. Sin and death entered the human race, and all of us inherited both.

We often, at least within contemporary Christian circles, claim that sin is separation from God. While that is true, it isn’t totally true for many, many reasons. It was Paul Tillich, the 20th Century theologian of culture, who argued that while we needed to affirm the terminology of sin, it needed to be defined by something more than separation. He offered the notion that sin, in fact, is profound alienation and that to understand it in that light would awaken us to its impact on the totality of our being and our lives lived in relation to God, others, ourselves, and Creation.

In other words, yes, sin is separation; in fact, it is profound alienation, first from God, but not only from God. It is also a profound alienation that distorts our relationship with ourselves, others, Creation, and our purpose. It alienates us from our vital design as human beings intended by God to walk together in one accord, in agreement, in harmony, in balance, in a unity that embraces the creativity of our diversity. So our alienation from all of that is the result of sin and death, and it takes the grace of Christ, the work of the indwelling Spirit, and the love of God the Father to bring us progressively, step by step, to a place of healing, wholeness, and well-being… and it is a work in progress.

None of us is perfect, and our need to expect perfection from any other person on the planet in their relationship to us is sheer folly. So how then do imperfect people learn to love one another? And not only that, how do imperfect men and women, who vow till death do us part, come to learn to love one another? The naked truth is that our life partner will ever and always only be able to meet 25 percent of our needs. The other 75 percent can only come from the Triune God of love and grace.

Learning how to love one another, imperfect and irregular, and dysfunctional as we are, takes our entire lives, and even then, many of us don’t quite get it. Our brokenness and our beauty commingle in so many ways that the practice of forgiveness has to be a moment-by-moment reality that becomes deeply habituated.

Eddie Rivera was a member of our local congregation for many years and was a great blessing to our people. His tenor voice is stellar, and he can sing the paint off a barn. Yet, his call was to be far more than someone who sings us happy. Eddie loves people and cares deeply for their well-being. He wants husbands and wives to love well. From This Day Forward is a journey through his eyes and from his heart, through his many years of experience of dealing with the kinds of realities in the lives of couples and families that are real to all of us. If there is one thing this book will make you aware of, it is that we are all in the same boat together, and the human condition is the same no matter who you are or where you come from. Eddie’s learned wisdom comes from his journey with Brenda, the love of his life. Their own journey becomes the crucible from which he is formed by the Spirit to begin to facilitate conversations in couples seeking to make their way forward as one.

It isn’t always easy. Love is something we have to learn. Eddie is rather transparent in this book and shares from his own wellspring of experience and the wisdom he garnered from it all.

Take time to listen to what he has to say, drink from his well, and glean from his wisdom. It will serve to help you in your life-long partnership with the one to whom you said, I do.

— Bishop Mark J. Chironna, MA, DMin.

Church On The Living Edge

Longwood, Florida

INTRODUCTION

I don’t believe there is a better way to live your life than by doing something you’re passionate about. For me, I’m passionate about helping and serving others. To be more specific, I help marriages and families.