Show Up Positive

By Rita Ernst

"Misery loves company until people grow tired of being miserable."

 

Remember your excitement when you accepted the job o

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ignite Your Extraordinary, LLC
• Release date: Jun 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9798985206586

Book preview

Dedication

For my clients, whose courage inspired this book

Preface

Why This Book and Why Now

In 2020, the United States experienced the convergence of three events—each a cataclysm by itself. Together, they formed a tsunami of fear, stress, and discord that altered our daily lives and social norms.

It all began on March 11th when the World Health Organization declared the COVID-19 outbreak a global pandemic. This novel SARS-CoV-2 virus, first reported in Wuhan, China, in December 2019, spread across the globe in just over 90 days. We stared at our TV screens in disbelief as weeping and exhausted healthcare workers in New York City told horrifying tales of this unknown pathogen that quickly overran hospital and morgue capacities.

Doctors, epidemiologists, and public health officials cautioned that, without measures to limit its spread, deaths from the coronavirus would likely surpass the 1918 Spanish Influenza epidemic. Scientists worked quickly to understand how the virus replicated and spread to recommend protective measures to the public. By month's end, cities and countries worldwide were directing people to stay at home to limit the spread of this enigmatic and elusive virus.

Schools and businesses closed, and governments limited public transportation to essential workers. Day by day, week by week, new information emerged. We were captives in our homes, tied to the daily news and drinking from a firehose of change. Schools began virtual instruction, placing an additional burden on parents to assist their children with schoolwork and fill in the gaps created by distance learning. Workers scrambled to set up in-home offices and upgrade internet capacity to meet the multiple demands of the family. Business owners struggling to keep afloat and care for their employees on zero incoming revenue suddenly faced financial ruin. And all around us, reports of family, friends, and neighbors succumbing to the virus grew. Individually and collectively, our stress load was off the charts.

Then, on May 25th, public witnesses released the video of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin kneeling on the neck of George Floyd as he gasped, I can't breathe. People worldwide were shocked and horrified as onlookers admonished Chauvin, who killed Floyd while his fellow officers did nothing to intervene. This event laid bare the racial injustice in America for all to see. The subsequent marches in the name of justice added to the collective societal unease.

As summer arrived, transmission rates dropped around the globe. Travel and in-person gathering bans were lifted in many locations. People’s resentment of their new, caged lives matched the pace of their desire to return to normality. Local and state election officials attempting to respond to public safety concerns encountered an onslaught of challenges to the increase in mail-in ballots and extension of in-person voting. For the first time in modern times, people debated the legitimacy of U.S. elections before the ballots were even cast.

2021 brought little to no relief. Unemployment reached a new high, yet businesses struggled to fill open positions. Economic programs from the U.S. government intended to save families from financial ruin, inadvertently called out the glaring gap between the cost of living and minimum wage. Across America, workers voted with their feet and changed the power dynamic.

Over this 14-month period, businesses that continued in-person operations felt the storm of change that the pandemic ensued, leading to a decline in overall productivity, quality, and teamwork. Where once tension and strain occurred as individual ripples that other team members easily offset, now it happened en masse, and self-concern took precedence over everything else.

At first, they gathered to commiserate, but soon, the discourse shifted to complaints. Dissatisfaction swelled, and no one was spared from attack. Melancholy filled people’s workday, and they felt trapped. It turns out misery loves company only until people grow tired of being miserable.

As people focused on their discontent, a vicious cycle of decline took root. People were less motivated, work took longer, costs went up, demands increased, employees called off or quit, work slowed down even more, and costs skyrocketed. Leaders grew desperate to restore pride, respect, teamwork, and happiness.

Some of the most rewarding work of my 25+ years occurred in helping businesses navigate these challenges. And it was in this context that the idea for this book emerged. I successfully facilitated companies of different sizes and industries through activities and conversations that sparked a renewed commitment to teamwork and contributed to the positive culture employees wanted. People at every level hungered to find a path back to fulfillment at work. 

I discovered three essential things for teams to step out of their pandemic funk and toxic habits:

Reconnection to shared purpose and values.

Individual and collective attentiveness to thoughts and actions.

Gentle reminders to intentionally Show Up Positive.

Show Up Positive is the beginning of a multi-dimensional change conversation that is relevant for individuals at every level and any business or organization. This book lays out the intentions, mindset, and actions that prepare individuals and organizations to replace toxic habits with positive ones firstly centering around personal autonomy and then branching out into leading and managing others at work. You'll glean valuable insights and ideas for promoting positivity, whether in traditional or hybrid work environments.

The book is not a step-by-step guide to achieving the transformational results my clients experienced within 90 days—that work requires custom-designed and sequenced conversations and experiences unique to each business. However, the #ShowUpPositive Sparks in Part 2 give you the perfect starting point to bring forward the culture you want by living it yourself each day. I am confident it will make your life better regardless of anyone else. I also invite you to request a consultation with me if you are eager for more and ready to roll up your sleeves and dive into the deeper work. It's great to have you here!

Cheers to your choice to #ShowUpPositive,

Rita

Introduction

One of the first things you should know about me is that I love psychology. In fact, I hold two degrees in it. Organizational psychology is my life's profession. My body of work is expansive: implementing high-performance team best practices, designing structures and processes to make work easier, and uncovering the interpersonal dynamics disrupting performance and eroding profits. But at the core, my insights and ability to get businesses back on track emerge from my understanding of human behavior.

I share mini-lessons in social psychology, motivation theory, neuropsychology, and more throughout the book. I intend to demystify the why behind behavior and provide a context to help you step away from triggered emotional reactions. If I geek out too much, please forgive my enthusiasm for my chosen field of study, and feel free to skip ahead.

An Invitation, Not an Indictment

And here it is, psychological context number one. Research by psychologists and neuroscientists confirms that our biological wiring causes us to pay greater attention and give greater weight to adverse events. This biological truth aligns with our evolution as a species when you think about it: Prehistoric humans faced daily life-or-death situations that required quick learning and adaptation to survive. As a result, human brains altered to increase electrical activity and neural processing in response to negative stimuli.

Likewise, we also remember adverse experiences more clearly and think about them more frequently. We've all experienced how easily we jump into and bond over complaining. It's our default.

That's why it is important to avoid labeling negative behavior or people as bad. It is not my intention to call others out and shame them into changing. Instead, I invite you to acknowledge this shared tendency, recognize your ability to defy nature, and choose your response instead. I'm sharing with you a collection of inspiring ideas to help you cultivate a positive mindset; the power of a positive mindset is that it seeps into your everyday actions and gradually builds a positive culture. I agree with Mahatma Gandhi, If you want to change the world, start with yourself, and this book is my how-to guide.

How to Use This Book

Reading this book cover to cover isn’t required. Yes, the ideas are all connected, and yes, the chapters build upon one another, but I've also done my best to give content that can stand alone throughout the book.

If you are a traditional reader, then, by all means, I encourage you to start at the beginning and walk the journey chronologically as I've written it. If you are a skimmer or light reader, use the TL;DR (too long; didn’t read) at the end of each chapter first, and then dig into the content that most attracts your interest.

This book has two parts. The initial chapters explain the why behind the #ShowUpPositive movement. I'm sharing stories from my experiences and interactions with businesses to illuminate what is possible and instill confidence that you can restore positivity in your workplace. I end each chapter with a summary of the key ideas for easy reference.

The second part is a reference of #ShowUpPositive actions, beliefs, and characteristics that also include explanations and recommended practices. You can randomly open the book to any page and draw inspiration for the day, week, or upcoming team meeting. Have fun with it. Change it up. Most importantly, engage in ways that have the most meaning for you.

Chapter 1

Your Show Up Positive Invitation

There is no contest between positive or negative emotions and experiences. Who doesn't prefer being happy versus lonely or angry? And yet, research confirms the worth of all feelings. For example, although fear is usually portrayed as a distasteful sensation, in some cases, it can inspire safer and healthier behavior. A student disappointed by a poor test grade is motivated to study more. Even the secondhand embarrassment I feel when someone's cellphone rings in the middle of a play is enough to trigger my vigilance to place mine on silent mode when I enter the building.

Despite this, society and the world of entertainment flood you with messages that contentment and satisfaction are the only paths to living your best life. And if you're like most people, you've accepted the charge to avoid pain and seek speedy