Enamoured with You |Book 3| Cheyenne & Jacob

By I.M. Zoetic

When a car accident strips Jacob of all memory of his beloved wife, it leaves him in a haze of confusion and a void he can't understand. As a result, when meeting Cheyenne for the first time after the crash, it aggravates him even further as he is terrified by, and seeks to reject, the powerful hold she possesses over his entire being. Cheyenne is pushed away by Jacob as he reverts to the man he was predestined to be.

Only Cheyenne could bring him back to the man he wanted to become, the man she promised she would find if he ever lost himself again.

Will Cheyenne find her soulmate again? Will Jacob be able to overcome his demons and allow himself to fall in love with Cheyenne again?

In a way that no other book in Cheyenne & Jacob's trilogy achieves, Enamoured with You is filled with unequivocal emotion and long-awaited revelations.

• Language: English
• Publisher: I.M. Zoetic
• Release date: May 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9780995300521

I.M. Zoetic

Greetings, and welcome to my bio? Funny, I never thought the day would come when people thought I was important enough to look up. It's an honour and a privilege to share my journey with you. I am relatively new to the writing world, and although I am not a part of any groups or writing clubs, I have e-published several stories. Of course, I like to believe I have passion and the ability to lure you into a world of love, hope, loss and laughter - painting a world to get lost in. I hope you enjoy my stories as much as I've enjoyed writing them! I am a proud Canadian born and raised in northern Ontario but now reside in the nation's capital. At 40+ years old, I feel I have accomplished many things throughout my life. My most outstanding achievement was staying home and raising two beautiful daughters, which allowed me to pursue my dream of writing, something I never thought I would actually have the time or talent to do. Although I've been a member of Smashwords for some time, I didn't consider myself a professional indy author until January 1st, 2020. After that, I was all in. The journey has been challenging, but I have no regrets, primarily because of all the support I've received from my readers, family, and friends. Initially, I was focused on Contemporary Romance - considering my Colliding Worlds Saga - but since publishing, I've dabbled in Paranormal Romance (mainly Werewolf/Dystopian/Post-Apocalyptic). Check out my Wattpad page; you might be surprised at what you find. =0) Every one of my stories is filled with heartfelt emotions, bringing you through a whirlwind of varying feelings. The characters and events are humorous, engaging, compelling, and entirely different. I aim to leave you wanting more as the story evolves and takes you through many adventures. Enjoy! Immy

Book preview

| Book 3|

Cheyenne & Jacob

All rights reserved

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

Please be advised: Enamoured with You is intended for MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY [18+] Strong profanity and graphic sex scenes, along with other sensitive topics - including, but not limited to - depression, violence, alcohol/drug abuse, anxiety disorder, are present throughout the story.

ISBN: 978-0-9953005-2-1

Dedication

For my wonderful girls - Madeleine & Isabelle - who have inspired me to be better, do better and to be resilient no matter the circumstances or outcome.

For my husband - Pierre - who metaphorically kicks my ass continuously, pissing me off, but in a good way. Thanks for being my drive when I've procrastinated from time to time! I'm so grateful for your support and optimistic perseverance.

For my readers, thanks for coming back and supporting me once again. I can't express how much you mean to me—my deepest gratitude.

Love,

Immy

Table of Contents:

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

1. Pissed Off

2. Find Yourself

3. Two Beasts Collide

4. Give 'em Hell

5. Raging

6. All things happen for a Reason

7. Chance Meeting

8. Sisterly Love

9. Even in a Drunken Stupor

10. She sure is Sublime

11. Idioms

12. Concrete Stairs

13. Everything has its Price

14. Food for Thought

15. Bittersweet

16. Mending Hearts

17. Fun and Games

18. You and Me

19. Harmless, my Ass!

20. Head over Heels

21. Tenacity

22. Little by Little

23. Rite of Passage

24. Real-time with my BFF

25. Dirty & Volatile

26. Headway

27. Relentless Determination

28. Dire Straits

29. Caught on Camera

30. Just Breathe

31. Strength from Within

32. Masterminds… or Not!

33. A simple Promise

34. Now or Never

35. On the Brink

36. Diamonds in the Rough

37. Wake Up!

38. From the Very Start

39. Breakthrough

40. Tackle and Conquer

41. Watching… always Watching

42. Honesty and Healing

43. My Rendition?

44. One day at a Time

45. His Return

46. He Remembers

47. Stepping back into Reality

48. In it Together

49. McCarthy Time

50. Internal Thoughts

51. Kiss Me

52. A lost Art

53. Admission

54. Ailbe

55. Hidden Words

56. Pins and Needles

57. Childhood Fun

58. By your Side

59. Survival of the Fittest

60. The Bitter Truth

61. Let's take a Stroll

62. Meet Greg

63. Slow and Steady

64. My Hero

65. Rocky Times

66. Onward & Upward

67. Cracking the Vault

68. Welcome back, Jacob

69. Glorious

70. Don't tame the Beast

71. I am Important

72. Strip

73. On the Eve

74. And then there were Four

75. December 23rd

76. Weather the Storm

77. Spectacularly Special

78. Party Games

79. Breakfast, Anyone?

80. Finding Cheyenne

81. Happy Birthday

82. 'Tis the Season

83. Primed and Pimped

84. Bound, or Not

85. Apple verses Oranges

86. Shots & Billiards

87. Kinky

88. For the love of Cormac

89. Staying above Water

90. Pocket Watch

Epilogue

The Colliding Worlds Saga

1. Pissed Off

The long drive to Belfast does nothing but adds to my ferocious mood. As we speed along the throughway, I ponder tonight's event. Firstly, I'm being driven in my mother's Bentley on her insistence due to the amount of alcohol I consumed. This makes me feel like a pompous arse. I sigh and rub my face down as I look over at Williams in the driver's seat.

Secondly, he insisted on being the one to drive me, fucked if I know why? He's upset at me for some unknown reason and has barely spoken a word. I really don't care as my mind is elsewhere.

Thirdly, Ailbe quit because of a woman. A fucking woman who, in my mind, has single-handedly destroyed everything.

I could count on two things when it comes to my stability - my company and my best mates - both are awry! Ever since she has come into my life, nothing shy of anarchy has happened. Not just recently, but from the beginning.

The rift between my parents probably could have been avoided had I not met her. Molly trying to kill me because of our supposed love - ha! What a joke. Once again, had I never met her, I would not have had the fucking car accident, and I would be fine. Instead, I live in this perpetual fucking nightmare I now call normal and probably will for the rest of my life.

Then, to make matters worse, there is the copious amount of money I dropped on her. The fucking house, jewelry, vehicles, travelling - the list goes on and on. She scammed me, and I'm glad she's out of my fucking life for good.

Shaking my head, I check my phone and see no text from Ailbe. I thought he'd come around by now. Apologize for his actions toward me. I guess not. I cock my head and look out the darkened window.

My best friend is taking her side - probably because he fell for her. With Ailbe, it won't last, and he'll come crawling back. I smile ruefully, confirming my thoughts with a nod. She'll play him as she played me. My god! I was hanging from the strings, like a puppet in her play. Not any longer. Not any longer.

Get off here, I nod to the upcoming exit.

Sir? Williams questions as we are nowhere near where we need to be.

Just do it, I demand as I need an alcoholic beverage, and the nearest off licence will be able to accommodate that thirst.

Tell me why? William deflects as I turn to stare at him through the rear-view mirror.

That is none of your fuckin' business, old man! I snarl as I watch him bypass the exit.

For a drink? Hmm? he taunts with distaste, seemingly unbothered by my disrespectful words. Guess I'll have to try harder to piss the fucker off.

I don't answer to you, I grind out sinisterly. It's best you exit the next one, I enunciate my words authoritatively.

I, Sir, do not answer to you, he rebuts. You need to keep your wits if you plan on rectifying the issues in Belfast. Drinking will only add to your shitty attitude, Sir! he ends and flies by the next exit. He then hands me a thermos, which I take surprisingly. Drink this. It's what I used to make you as a young lad when you were lost like you are now, he ends in his fatherly way. I sit back and gauge him further as I say nothing.

Curiosity wins out - as it usually does - I snicker to myself while untwisting the lid, pour the putrid-smelling liquid into the cap and tentatively drink. Gagging, I force myself to finish the contents of the thermos. Why? I couldn't say. However, my mind miraculously becomes more relaxed as I sigh and hand the thermos back after downing every last drop. Better? I shake my head as I scowl at my phone while searching for any news about the fires and my newly bought properties in Belfast to prepare myself.

Not really, I respond dryly after a lengthy pause. Williams nods and looks straight ahead. How often? I half-heartedly inquire while scanning the hotel's newsfeed and how the damage seems to be somewhat contained. Thank god!

Sir?

How often did you make that for me? I voice more specifically.

He waits for a beat before answering.

Too often. I look up to find the older man looking beside himself in the sporadic lights of the freeway. It's not my place to say Jay, but I have watched you grow and have been part of your life since you were a wee lad. Very wee. I intently listen as I have numerous memory pockets of my childhood that are empty. Many would say I guided you; I say I enabled you.

Why would you say that? I question, confused.

You've had a hard night, Sir, he answers after another lengthy pause. Maybe after you finished dealing with your current issues at hand, we could have that discussion. For now, you should focus on the hotel and clubs.

Williams, I am not going to ask you again, I say forcefully. Yet another lengthy pause passes before I'm about to lose my shit, I swear it. Williams, so fuckin'...

"You see her as this villain. Someone who has disrupted your perfect world Jacob, the world you so wanted nothing to do with..." he unexpectedly blurts out.

What the fuck...

May I finish? he cuts me off with another fatherly stare in the rear-view mirror. I crush my lips together and sit back. I did ask. Thank you. She did indeed tip your world upside down. Made you question many things. Made you defy many prosperous family rules due to what you shared and the promises you made her. She did not make you react the way you did then and the way you are acting now. You have never taken authority seriously, Jacob. You have been fighting it since before you met her. She allowed you to see things and feel things none of us could ever show you, as you refused to let anyone in except her. She is your saviour.

I swallow hard as I shake my head. Yes. You are choosing to destroy what you have. You will have to deal with the consequences of your actions as a result. I wish you the best of luck, Sir, he coldly ends as he pulls the car off the throughway, leading us deep into the downtown district of Belfast. I stare at him as I ignore his statement. Just another bloke under her fucking spell, I tell myself.

"She has nothing to do with you enabling me?" I state firmly.

He actually laughs. She has everything to do with what I just said, he fires out as I'm taken aback. No one has ever spoken to me this way, let alone my childhood servant. I watched you hurt, self-destruct, wound yourself purposely, Jacob. I sat back with so many others, and we watched you and did nothing to help you. I refuse to be part of this - this bloody hypocrisy any longer. I have given my notice. Tonight is my last shift with the O'Reilly's, he ends dryly.

I frown and defend once again. I lost my fuckin' memory, and you are going to blame me...

Yes! he snarls out in a way I've never heard before. "Yes, I am. You are a man, and there is absolutely no excuse imaginable for your behaviour and treatment towards her. You've been told how she plays into your life; you chose to ignore it. Now, Sir, it's important you remember from here on out not to let others feed you what you know is nonsense. You are once again choosing the easy way out and pitying yourself. The Jacob I raised was a stubborn son of a bitch with a heart of gold for those he cared for. All I see lately is a coward who is self-righteous and afraid..."

You goddamn right I am! I snap, no longer taking any shit. "You have no idea what I'm going through, so stop with the judgment. All I know is that the Jacob you speak of from before the accident was nothing but a soft, pussy whipped arsehole. I plan on living my life without those who are pro-Canada," I rebut.

He nods as the vehicle falls into silence once again before shortly arriving at the first of three scenes.

We are here, Sir. He steps out of the car as I stare straight ahead. After he opens my door, I feel the urge to apologize but swallow it down along with other feelings I refuse to deal with at the moment. Sir? I step out and fasten my suit jacket button.

Showtime!

2. Find Yourself

Dealing with the bullshit turmoil and talking with many city officials plagues my head with another blasted headache; while I struggle to get everything under control. It's been deemed an arson attack, and that I have indeed been targeted. Regardless, I will also have my own team of private investigates involved and reporting directly to me. For the time being, I decide returning to Dublin and beefing up security on all my other properties to be my priority - oh, and of course, focusing on rebuilding as well as reshuffling Ailbe's responsibilities. I have many candidates in mind that will gladly jump at the opportunity to be where Ailbe was.

Williams drops me off the following night - insisting on following his commitment to return me safely to Dublin - in the wee early hours of the morning. He hasn't spoken a word since his outpour other than to answer my questions with a 'yes Sir' or 'whatever you wish, Sir.' It brought me back to when I would order him around when I was a young lad before travelling to Canada.

It didn't sadden me. It just infuriated me further. She has everyone whipped, and under her thumb, it would seem. I didn't even thank Williams for all the years of service when I exited the car the second it pulled to a stop. He doesn't deserve it after speaking to me the way he had. I'm Jacob Timothy O'Reilly, and no one will ever step all over me again!

Dragging my arse up my apartment stairs, my eyes land on a letter and a set of keys sitting in the middle of my bed. I grab the keys and notice they're identical to my collection, only there's no identification keychain. I momentarily play with them before scooping up the letter.

Jacob,

I don't know what to say. So, I won't say much other than I'm sorry once again. I'm sorry I won't be able to find you like I promised I would if ever you were lost. I'm sorry that you will never allow me to. I will no longer be an issue for you. I have left as you asked. Now it's up to you to find your way. Trust your instincts, Jacob. Dig deep within you, and if something doesn't feel, seem, or look right, trust that. You were always a good judge of character. Rely on that trait more than ever now. I wish you all the best.

C

I scoff at the nonsense. Trust my gut, whatever. My gut would have told me to stay the fuck away from the feisty brunette in the first fucking place. Instead, I wound up letting my cock take the lead instead of my wits! I made a grave mistake with Ms. Canada. Whatever she meant to me in the past is just that - the past. She's trouble, and I didn't need my mother to confirm it.

I flip the ring of keys over my index finger again and smile dryly. Unreal. She had a key to everything, it seems. Changing all the locks is necessary in case she made copies. I'll also have to stop by my bank to check my safety deposit box. Goddammit! Like I have bloody time to waste on this.

Fuck. Yeah, birds are a liability, and I never plan on letting one get close again. Never again. I crumple up the paper and toss it over the balustrade before collapsing on the bed. I play with the keyring as I spin it around my finger before I fall into yet another restless slumber...

Jay, wake up. The muffled voice penetrates my mind. A bunch of kids are here to see you, Shannon's unusually youthful voice becomes clear a day. Furthermore, what the fuck is she doing here - in my apartment? And what fucking kids? My eyes shoot open, rolling over to squint at her. She's young, very young, as I smile slowly. I glance around slowly as I take in the dated room and my unfamiliar surroundings.

Holy fuck! Is this another memory surfacing, or just a dream? Perhaps both? Her smile drops in concern as I smile, unable to stop myself.

What time is it? I ask as I sit up and grab my phone. It's the mobile I had when I was a young lad. I smile more with the realization that I'm, in fact, reliving what can only be another lost memory.

8 am, I look back at Shannon as she smiles when I chuckle. I'm in a bedroom - the bedroom - I used whenever I visited Shannon when she lived abroad. Fucking hell! This is incredible. I haven't had a surge in memory since - fuck, don't think of her! She's toxic-

8 am... who gets up that early during holidays? I question with humour as I stumble out of bed regardless of the time. I reach for my jeans and t-shirt as she laughs. Tell them to give me a minute, I mumble, my voice still thick with sleep. I head down the narrow set of stairs to wash up in the only bathroom this tiny house offers. I can hear my sister laugh as Zayn - the boy I met a few nights ago - laughs with her. I smile more as the premonition comes forward. This is the first time I came to Canada. I quickly brush my teeth and look up into the mirror to fix my hair. That's when I focus on my reflection. Confirmation is confirmed, causing me to smirk further.

Jay, you're up. I chuckle as I approach the front door. Looking at the small group of guys, I laugh more. They're so young, like me. Good, you're coming with us. We want to show you something. I smile more as I nod. You'll need runners and water.

Runners? I question as he laughs and points to his sneakers. I crack a grin and nod.

Aye. Give me a few minutes, I chuckle again as I breeze by my sister, quickly glancing at her ring finger on her left hand. It's bare. The wedding to Marcus hasn't happened yet. I quickly change into shorts, admiring the fact that I had a happening body even at 14. Fetching a bottle of water and an apple, I exhale with the knowledge that this happened. This very moment, long ago - happened.

When I return, I notice the girls have all gathered except the tall one. She's not here. Good, I tell myself - even though I frown with disappointment as we head out.

Where are you taking me? I ask as Carmen links her arm through mine. Usually, I dig it when a bird shows me attention. It allows me to make a move in hopes of hooking up, but something has changed, and it has little to do with knowing she will become Cormac's wife one day. I shake her off gingerly with a slight grin. She frowns and looks down.

It's a surprise, she answers with a pout. I follow along as we scale the huge hill while the gang laughs and talks along the way as I take as much in as possible. When we near the top, I get a glimpse of her. She's breathtaking as always and so young. Her face displays the softest of smiles as she looks into the distance. She suddenly turns, and our eyes lock, causing a bolt of heat, which resonates throughout my being, only to settle into my now simmering core. I've decided I hanker the feeling, as it is the only cure for the dark, tormented emptiness I suffer without it.

She smiles more, and her eyes change to a brilliant turquoise. Good morning, I softly say as she blushes and lowers her head. I love that she's shy - at least that's what I remember.

Good morning, Jacob, she comments back as she peaks up to look at me. I love when she calls me by my first name. Usually, I hate it as it reminds me of my parents; but I find it so soothing when she calls me Jacob. I smile more, as does she making me inhale from her sheer beauty.

Fuck! This bird has me whipped, sunk, spellbound!

Did the gang tell you where we're heading? she asks as she stands and tucks what looks to be a journal away into her bag. The same bag she seems to bring everywhere, I recall.

No, will you tell me? I flirt against my better judgment. I just finished telling myself I will never be ruled by a bird - or my cock - again, especially this one, and here I am once more. I chuckle at myself as her grin widens, making my cock twitch. Even in a goddamn dream, she affects me like no other. She continues to blush as her eyes flicker between me to her approaching brother. Zayn wraps his arm around my neck.

No, she will not, he warns his sister as she smiles softly and moves ahead of us. As I listen and laugh, the chatter continues, answering when expected - only my eyes absorbing my surroundings. It's similar to the first memory I had that resurfaced, only we're heading away from the shack. We seem to be moving more inland. Almost there, he says as he takes off ahead of everyone. I catch up to the leggy brunette, and she smiles up at me briefly.

We've been walking for close to 2 hours... no wonder you all are in great shape, I joke as she giggles. God help me - I fucking love that sound.

It's worth it. Wait until you see it, her eyes shine with excitement while looking forward. In Ireland, you have castles and so much deep, rich history with Vikings and just the sheer fact that Europe has been inhabited for thousands of years. I smile as I listen to her. Canada is part of the new world. We have the indigenous people who have lived here for many centuries, yet the white man has only been here in this area for two, maybe three hundred years. That's relatively recent, she rambles brilliantly. Even when she was so young, she had me captivated. I smile more and reach for her hand.

She looks when our fingers link, casting me a stunned glance. I chuckle and give her my best smile - the smile I only give her. In return smiles a magnificent grin that has my heart hammering. Jay. I look over at Zayn as he looks at his sister than me while shaking his head no. She drops her hand, and I sigh. That's right! He had that damn wanker arse rule while we were kids.

Come on, Brother. I was making sure she doesn't slip with her Cons on. Trust me, they are great shoes, but not ideal for hiking, I joke as he laughs before we enter somewhat of a clearing in the otherwise dense forest. Whoa! I look around, amazed. There are other kids our age here, many as I smile more. What is this place? I ask as she stops and looks back at me.

It's a settlement. Many years ago, a community or larger family would have anchored here to make a home - to make a life for themselves. She finishes as I look at the abandoned stone structures still in tack. An eerie yet comfortable feeling comes over me. Overgrown and claimed by nature, seven wee relics somewhat circle the perimeter with a large fire ring in the center. Some of the kids are working on getting a fire started as tunes pump through the air. We come here sometimes to chill with kids from the other side of the mountain. They live along the highway and don't get to socialize that much during the summer months. She smiles small and turns to walk away from the gathering.

Hey, where you going? I ask as she stops and smiles back at me before looking at our gang and all the other kids chatting and laughing as they greet one another.

It's not my thing, Jay. I usually stick to myself, she offers softly with that beautiful smile of hers. Have fun. She treads off between two structures as Zayn calls my name. I look over at him and mysteriously smile before going after her. I hear him chuckle as I snag her arm gently. She spins and blushes softly as her eyes shoot up to lock with mine. You're asking for it, she warns against Zayn's antics and protectiveness.

Aye, and you'd be worth it. She giggles, and my heart melts. Tell me more about your history. I want to know all about Canada. It's fascinating. She laughs. You're fascinating to me. She stops laughing as I inhale and moisten my lips. I think you are so fascinating, Cheyenne.

The saddest smile morphs across her angelic face, and her whole persona transforms into the radiate lady she is today. You remembered my name ... will you remember me any further? My eyes begin to drip with emotion as I digest the question. Will you remember all of our history ... all our laughs, our promises to one another, our love we share? Will you find me? She lowers her head and slightly shakes it before peering into my eyes once again. Do you want to?

I - I don't know, I search her breathtaking eyes as my smile wavers. ...if I can.

Do you want to? she repeats more forcefully as I shake my head back and forth.

I don't even know who I am, Cheyenne... let alone how I'm supposed to find you? I finally confess as I reach to cup her face gently. She swallows and exhales as her features somewhat relax from my touch. You, Shannon, my friends... both Canadian and Irish depict this - this person I used to be and yet I don't seem to resonate with him whatsoever, I struggle to find the words to explain what I'm trying to have her realize. She nods with understanding as I push on. Shuffling closer, my eyes search her spellbinding ones.

The dreams, I pull at my hair in frustration as she softly lays a hand on my chest, calming me almost instantly. The dreams I've had... hell, the one we're in right now, she smiles knowingly, are insane, right? They've got to be a figment of my imagination, I struggle. They portray the man I've been told about, and I don't know if I can ever be him again, Cheyenne. I don't know... I look directly into her compelling eyes as she listens so intently to my every word. I don't know if I want to be that man again, I admit with firmness.

Muted laughter filters through the air behind us as the two of us are lost within one another. It's a familiar feeling, as the world pauses and nothing seems to exist but the beauty in front of me. Cheyenne's lips part as her eyes - her breathtaking eyes - bore into mine once again.

That's just it, Jacob, she smiles so sweetly with such compassion woven into her now tear-filled eyes. You are the same person. I've always known about your underlying darkness with your somewhat erratic tendencies. That is nothing new to me. It's just more prominent these days, she smirks as I smirk back before she becomes serious. I know who you are, Jacob. I've always known, and I never wanted you to be anybody but yourself. It's who you resonate with. It's who I accept. All of you. She takes a step closer, closing the gap between us. You don't have to pretend to be anyone else to please me or anyone else for that matter.

My hands drop from her cheeks as they circle her waist. Lowering, I rest my forehead against hers as I continue to digest her words.

What we share is so...

Intense. I know, she whispers against my lips. It can be bittersweet, Jacob. I understand that, more than you know. Exhaling, I moisten my parched lips. The more we fight the feeling, the worse it gets. I also understand you resenting the bond. I did too once, she smiles sweetly. I hated how I felt when we were absent from one another. How empty, cold and resentful I felt.

Pulling back slightly, she smiles a wondrous grin. But then, I would reflect on how I felt when you and I were together. The soul connection no one else had. The fact that you understood me as I understood you - like no one else. The feelings - oh, Jay - the feelings we experience with one another in like no one else. It magical, unexpected - but so critical for us to live.

She lowers her eyes as her grin wavers. I feel as lost as you. I know that sounds selfish... I grasp her chin gently and raise her eyes to mine. I'm sorry, but we can't function without each other...

That's the issue Cheyenne, I admit as she nods with glossy soft blue eyes.

I know. I do not deny that, Jay. I do understand, which is why I left. I'm a hindrance to your recovery. I see it, and I see your internal struggle, Jay. She clasps my hands as her face hardens with determination. You are a pragmatic man... and incredibly guarded. Why would you ever put your faith and trust in me? A person you can't remember. A person who is driving you insane. You trusted what you knew, as would I.

Pulling her forehead to mine once again, I sigh.

It's no excuse for how I treated you. How I purposely hurt you, I murmur out on a shaky breath. In so many ways. I'm ashamed. I hear her audible swallow as a single tear runs down her cheek.

You have, but I've hurt you too. She sniffs as her lips tilt into a slight grin. I was scared if you knew who I was, I'd lose you forever. I didn't trust what we had and listened to others when I should have done what was best for us. She lowers her face as I tip her chin up to look at me once again.

Cheyenne... I softly whisper, trying my best to let her know what happened between us since my accident was in no way her fault for my horrific, inexcusable behaviour.

No, Jay... I knew better. I'm the one person who knows you best of all like you know me. I should have... her face contours into anguish as her eyes transform to a stormy gray. People have always tried to ruin us, Jacob. It's not the first time lies were told, she painfully voices before piercing me with miserable stricken eyes once again. But it's the first time you believed them over me.

I didn't know ... she's my mam, and she promised... I stumble as tears begin to drip from her eyes too.

It's not the first time she has mislead you, Jay. She's never accepted me, neither has your father, she admits seriously. They will stop at nothing to keep us apart. To keep you - us, from being happy. They purposely fed you lies, played on your vulnerabilities and had you believe I was evil. Look at who you are disrespecting and treating so poorly. This part of you - is not you, Jacob. You are kind and warm, and yes, she smiles softly, incredibly stubborn and overbearing at times, she momentarily jokes as I frown but have to agree.

We all care about you, and you keep pushing us away and believing what you want to hear, she says with a furrowed brow. You are choosing to take what you feel you deserve... it's not okay, Jay. You deserve happiness, and throwing away what you have, will lead you into the life you never wanted. I blink in disbelief as she continues. Please... open your heart ... close your mind for once ... go on your instinct, not what people are telling you. You will know what is right and what is not.

She reaches up and kisses my lips so sweetly, filling me with intense need. Groaning, I squeeze her tightly. Only her body is light and holds the density of air as she drifts away from me like a hovering cloud.

No, Chey, don't go... please... I'm afraid, Cheyenne. What if I make a mistake? What if... her smile fades as she looks at me so sadly, like the other night at the gala.

You already have ... you lost your best mate and trusted the wrong person. You need to trust your instincts. That is the only way you will truly find...

You! The only way I will find you, I finish her sentence, desperately trying to move from my spot.

No, Jacob, she smiles softly. It's the only way you will find you! She turns away from me, and as I try with all my might to follow her, but I'm stuck and can't move. She stops and looks at me from over her right shoulder. Find yourself, and in doing so, you'll find me. Until then, I'll be waiting for you. She sadly smiles as she turns away from me once again.

Cheyenne ... no. Don't go... I plead as I struggle to free my legs from their invisible hold. She smiles over her shoulder with that sad grin and teary eyes. Cheyenne... I scream at the top of my lungs as she fades entirely away. Cheyenne...

3. Two Beasts Collide

Soaked in sweat, I bolt up and out of bed, looking around, completely off-kilter. Cheyenne. I rush down the stairs, frantically looking for the note before scooping it up to read it once again. No ... oh god, what did I do? I panic as I grab my phone and call her. It rings continuously, making me panic more. I hang up and try Ailbe. It goes straight to his voicemail. Next, I try Shannon, Carm, Mac - no luck. Fuck! I scream, throwing my phone at an irate speed.

Grabbing my wallet, I pull out my lock tools and head out as fast as I can.

The odd looks I am receiving are probably due to my lack of footwear and pyjamas, as well as the worn-out t-shirt I'm wearing. I could give a fuck as I quickly break into a sprint and arrive at Cheyenne's place in no time. I pound on the door. Cheyenne! I scream. I don't care that it's 7 in the morning. I call her name again as I try to pick the lock. The door releases as I enter. I notice her heels lying in the entrance as if she tugged them off upon entry.

Cheyenne, please answer me, Baby, I bellow, taking the stairs four at a time, only stopping to pick up her clutch that was left haphazardly on a step, as if it was dropped and forgotten. Her beautiful gown I find on her bedroom floor in a crumpled pile. Oh god! The closet is open, with its suitcases missing. Her dresses are still hung, and all her heels are still lining the closet floor, but the dresser drawers are pulled open and mainly empty. What the fuck?

I turn and see the three large boxes still on top of the closet shelf, untouched. Grasping my hair while scanning the room, Cheyenne's phone catches my eye, along with a leather-bound book - the same one from my dream just now. Strolling over to her bedside table, I scoop it up as a comforting feeling overcomes me while I hold it close to my chest. What have I done? Grabbing her phone, I head out back to the garage. Her vehicles are all here.

She left.

She left me.

I run to Ailbe's looking like a madman, as I swear, I have finally lost my bloody mind. I arrive soon after and pound on his door until he opens it looking mighty pissed in only boxers. What? he asks as I grab my hair tugging to the point of pain while holding Cheyenne's items in my other hand. My vision is blurry with unshed tears as dreaded reality steadily seeps into my already blackened soul.

She's gone... Cheyenne left. His eyes darken as he exhales slightly. I lost her and I... oh god, I trusted my mam, and she lied didn't she... she lied to me. I'm balling as he regards me with little sympathy. What do I do? I plead just as a tall, attractive blonde appears by his side. She smiles and looks me up and down before he kisses her deeply, then whispers something in her ear.

Okay ... see you tonight, she says as she steps past me and moves toward the parked Bentley on the curb.

What about Autumn? I blurt, unable to help myself. He raises an eyebrow. Right now is not the time. I ... fuck. Where is she? I question as he steps out onto the sidewalk. Surprised, I step back as he cracks his neck and gauges me with wrath. Ail, where is Chey...

He spits on the ground and looks up with a sinister smirk.

Why is she so important to you now? Hmm? He glares at me. Why now? Because you remembered her name? I'd be a stupid fucking bloke if I didn't get the underlying threat in Ailbe's actions or tone. He's not planning on giving anything up. Not without a fight.

I had a dream, I murmur, trying my best to keep my cool. When it comes to fighting, it's incredibly fucking hard for me to submit. It's not who I am, and Ailbe knows it. He's purposely taunting me with every fucking step he takes, closing the gap between us. His lips twitch and transform into that arsenic grin of his. Cheyenne, my smile wavers as I look Ailbe in the eyes. "... she told me I trusted the wrong people, and I fundamentally fucked-up...again."

Not the first time, he furiously mutters while ripping her items from my hands and tossing them aside. Hold it together, Jay. This is what he wants. He wants you to lose your shit.

I know...

No, you don't know, he cuts me off as he shoves me, causing me to stumble back.

Lay your hands on me one more... I warn as he smiles.

Don't you fuckin' threaten me, Jacob, he scorns out. I have known you for almost twenty years. In that time, I have stood by your side no matter the shit you got yourself embedded in. The trouble you caused yourself and others. I always felt you were a decent person underneath the fucked-up arsehole you portrayed. I lower my head as I try to remember. You were cold and a dick to most people as you didn't care about anything except one thing. I look up as he snarls out the last part. Not your fuckin' work, not your family, not even your friends ... no, you cared about Cheyenne. She was your life. She has been since you were 14, and what you did to her and said to her the other night is unforgivable.

With that, I feel his right hook connect with my jaw.

Motherfucker!

Shoving him into the side of a BMW with all my might breaks the side mirror right off, setting the ear-piercing shrill of its alarm. With the blaring sound and horn blasting, I connect my elbow to his nose and follow in quick succession with my fist to the blond's face. Fucker, he grinds while grabbing me and tossing my massive frame onto the hood of the SUV like I'm weightless. Fuck!

The crumbling sound of metal coincides with the instant surge of pain running up my spine.

She has done nothing but loved you all her life Jay, he spits again before springing forward. She gave you everything, waited for you, was so patient when she found out you didn't remember her.

Jumping off the hood, we collide again as I swing him into another parked car. His elbow slams through the glass of the window, both pausing with surprise. He takes this opportunity to shove me off him into oncoming traffic.

The car alarms are going mad, and bystanders are beginning to gather and actually film us. Ail, calm the fuck down... I warn, but the beast is riled up. Blood drips from his nose and arm as he pounces just as I move. People are watching... he grasps me around my throat as he snarls.

She stepped in and ran your beloved company while you were in the hospital. She thought of every detail, trying to make sure you wouldn't panic if you heard the wrong thing. She's incredible to love you the way she does. I will myself to look at him through my blurred vision. He regards me with little feeling. Ail has never looked at me this way before. Slamming my knee to his gut gives me the advantage of ripping out of his hold. Trying to catch my breath, I create a bit of distance while wiping my eyes.

I didn't know, I cough out as again, he pounces without much of a fucking warning. Fuck me! Ailbe relentless. However, I'm ready as we collide like wild beasts in nature, only we're not. We're the faces of JTO Inc... but at this moment, I'm trying my best not to hurt my friend while he takes his aggression, hurt, hate, anger out on me.

We slam into yet another parked vehicle with so much vigour; we dent the doors with our massive frames. The crowd is howling and rooting us on, while others scream with fright.

She's the one that fired Molly and had her investigated, and you dismissed the pending charges. He tries to land a punch to my gut as I move, only to take one to the left side of my face instead.

Fuck!

Stop! I growl as he hits me again. Striking me with a double blow to my ribs. Swiping my leg, I drop him to his knees as he grasps my right leg flinging me flat on my back. Fuck, that hurt! Ailbe scrambles to get on top of me, but I'm too quick and roll to my side and bounce up, looking around.

Let's take this inside, I demand, slightly winded. Another fist comes my way as I duck. Or not!

Your parents, he chuckles sinisterly, they treated her poorly, Jacob. It rivalled your behaviour toward her - just differently - but with the same fuckin' brutality and outcome. My fighting stances slacks as I pant wildly. They wanted you back without her, and she found something that was kept from you, and they tried to pay her off to go away. She refused, and they have been causing trouble since, he casts a rueful grin. Looks like they got their wish after all.

I drop my fighting stance altogether and regard the pissed of Irishman. Shock and anger fill me as I digest his latest words. I knew she was important, but to hear what she has done for me and how she was treated - by not only me but also my folks - breaks my heart further.

My god, when will I learn to trust my instincts. I always have in the past, and yet lately, I have listened to everyone and what they were telling me. When all along, I should have been only listening to Cheyenne and myself. She asked me to, and I disregarded her - and here she was running my businesses.

Jesus Christ, I'm a fucking idiot. I look back at Ailbe as he watches me with a cock of his head. Where is she? he smirks and takes a step closer. Putting my hands up, I admit defeat. Please, I'm begging you. I will do anything. Just tell me. His jaw clenches.

You don't deserve her, he solemnly says as I nod in agreement.

I know, but I can't be without her.

Are you sure? You seem to like to play with her like she's a fuckin' game. You decide when you want her around and when you don't. She's no game, bro. She's... he stops and inhales before continuing, you called her damaged, Jay. You shoved her, he grins out brutally as he takes a step toward me. You tossed her aside and told her I could have her like she was trash. No one is worthy of what a precious being she is, and yet you can't be without her? The person who can't give you an heir? he says through gritted teeth. I have never seen Ailbe so upset, and he has one hell of a temper when he gets worked up.

And like that, we're thrown back into the most physical of fights to date. Ail is the only one I've viewed as competition when it comes to fighting. He's the only one to have ever given me a run for my money in the ring or when we'd freestyle. Still, he's never won. However, today he might just come out victorious.

Our fists are fierce as we strike hard muscle while decimating the flesh covering our knuckles and cracking the bones of our jaws. My legs give out as he sideswipes me, slamming my body into an oncoming car. Fuck, I didn't realize our brawl made its way into approaching traffic.

The blast of the horn and curse of the taxi driver has Ailbe somewhat letting up, giving me the advantage to slam his body into the moving car behind him. He rolls across the hood as the vehicle comes to a screeching stop.

I was wrong, okay. The memories of her are getting stronger and more vivid. He swipes at his bloodied face trying to catch his breath as I stagger backwards. I-I just had such a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I was... am such a pussy around her, I openly admit as his eyebrows raise with amusement. He chuckles and pushes himself upright while running his blood-caked hand through his curly hair.

I am Jacob O'Reilly, CEO of JTO Inc., Shaking my head as I look around at the monstrosity of the damage we caused. Smirking, I feel unfazed as it's the least of my worries at the moment. Not some lovestruck bloke... that is what I kept telling myself, Ailbe. I turn and lean against the car with the blown-out window before rubbing my face in frustration. I didn't know who I was supposed to be. I look up to find his face splashed with sudden sympathy. He slanders over to where I perch and leans his battered body against the frame of the vehicle. I know now... it took a bloody dream, but I know, I murmur out as I cast a glance his way. He looks horrible and is starting to form bruises already.

His face hardens as he cracks his knuckles before sniffing and looking around with squinted eyes. The alarms have silenced, but the crowd remains. Sirens sound in the background as there is no doubt that the Gardaí (cops) are on their way.

She went home. Like you told her to. I swallow. I thought this was her home. When Zayn and the others found out how you treated her, they left on the first flight out of Ireland. She went with them, he states dryly. You should go... you have an empire to run, and you're now down two VP's, he murmurs as I stare at him. Mac's resignation letter is on your desk. You fucked up for the last time, Jay. I feel hollow as we stare at one another. We tried to help you. We did what you wanted when you barked when you demanded. You crossed a line on Saturday when you chose work over sorting shit out with the love of your life. The very lady who you swore was your everything, he coins as I begin to vibrate once again. Now you have no one, he smirks as I lose it. Not even her.

"I lost my fuckin' memory of the love of my life Ailbe, I throw back at him. Not just Cheyenne, but a lot of my memory and I'm trying, and I fucked-up, I spit. Don't fucking judge me as you can't even begin to comprehend what I'm going through. The hell I'm in. I don't need to be reminded of my mistakes. You all act like I should be remorseful, and I am, I chuckle dryly. As much as I can be, Ailbe," I scoff as I scorn him with maddened fury.

He pushes off the car and eyes me once again. I'm done fighting. I don't want to fight, I add as he loosens his stance. Running both hands through my hair, I regard him as I formulate my words.

Imagine waking up one day, and you are off, completely off ... like your insides have been ripped out, and you live with a constant throbbing, painful ache within your center being. Imagine just for a moment. He lowers his head slightly as I continue. Now imagine everyone around you knows how to cure it, knowing your happiness depends on it, yet no one will tell you how, I grind out painfully.

"Imagine you are standing in the middle of the circle, and everyone you have ever known and cared about is surrounding you, laughing, whispering, telling secrets, and you are trying your best to figure it out ... what am I missing? Am I the joke? Who are they talking about? Finally, someone breaks and tells you something, only it makes no sense. So, you keep trying and trying to dissect it, rationalize it, absorb it, but ultimately, in the end, it just bloody well makes you more confused. However, you don't give up. You think of other ways that may solve the riddle, the damn puzzle, the punchline!

So, you make a fuckin' timeline, rack your brain and try to fool your family and friends into telling you the damn fuckin' secret ... but instead, you keep fuckin' up over and over and over again - without even fuckin' knowing. I swipe at my maddening tears once again as I regard him with the same wrath his face held minutes earlier.

You say you all helped me the best way you could, I scoff. "I disagree. I feel you did nothing but hindered me instead of trusting your own instincts when it came to the solid bonds you all share with me. He cocks his head in thought. Regardless, it doesn't matter any longer."

What does that mean? he cautiously asks as I turn to scoop up Cheyenne's belongings. I smirk at the bystanders as they shuffle backwards in fear. Jay?

I'll expect you and Mac in my office within the hour for a debriefing before I leave. I turn to glare at the massive Irishman once I straighten and look around at the damage once again. I'll need to get Gerty to do her thing and Angus to settle up with the locals and vehicle owners.

For fuck sakes Jacob... Ailbe breaks my thoughts as I smirk and turn to face him.

I'm going to find her... it's what I do.

4. Give 'em Hell

Alice, if you will. I enter the 19th floor with a plan ready to implement. She grabs her iPad and follows without a word. Moving quickly toward my desk, I shrug off my hoody while spotting Cormac's resignation letter. Picking it up, I tear it in half before throwing it in the trash. Alice gasps and looks up with a peculiar glare.

It's probably the fact that I have a split lip, or maybe it's the swelling on the left side of my jaw. Perhaps it's the handprint bruise - the size of a baseball glove - that I'm currently sporting around my throat courtesy of my brute of a friend.

Sir, did you get into a fight? she gingerly regards with caution. It's not lost on me that her eyes dance with humour. I want to laugh; I do. But I won't. Maybe one day, but right now, I need to focus everything I have on the Canadian I hurt beyond measure.

That dream, that bittersweet dream, is all it took for the fucking light within my chaotic, dark mind to go on. To allow me to finally fucking see for the first time since waking from that bloody life-altering coma. I try not to question why? Why it took that blasted occurrence to view everything around me differently. Why it took for Cheyenne to leave Ireland for me to experience this mind-shattering phenomenon.

But then the darkness seeps around the minute light, and I remember.

It was not the coma that had her leaving or the loss of memory. It wasn't even my parent's inexcusable conduct.

It was my behaviour. My words. My actions. The choices I made. Not anyone else. It was me.

Blinking back my emotions with a tight grin, I eye Alice. I will need you to clear my schedule indeterminately, I start as I take a seat, and she nods and begins to type away on her iPad. Starting today. Please make an appointment with Dr. O'Hanlon for tonight at 5 o'clock as well. She looks up for a moment before I continue. I'll need you to make arrangements for me to leave for Toronto connecting to Cobblestone first thing tomorrow... or later tonight, if possible.

Mr. O'Reilly... you don't have clearance to fly, she meekly squeaks as I look at her.

It won't stop me... she closes the cover on her iPad and folds her hands on top.

Aye, but the agent at the flight counter along with airport security will, she coins with wise eyes. Leaning back, I regard her knowing she's right. You'll need to find another way, she states firmly. Perhaps with all your connections, you know someone in the military that can overlook a TBI? she suggests causing an involuntary smirk.

Thank you, Alice. She smiles and nods as she flips open her iPad. Is it true she fired Molly? I query as she nods again. And she stepped in and took over when I was laid up...

Sir, she is magnificent ... she's just like you. It's fascinating to me - to everyone to see, really. Your commonalities, shared smile, the way you both act when you're with each other - and then when you're not. How different you both are, but still the same, she states sadly.

Pondering, I gauge the woman I have the utmost respect for. Am I an arsehole?

Sir? she coughs out as I stare at the older lady.

I am, aren't I? With or without Cheyenne, I am a complete and utter arsehole, Alice. I treat those around me with brash commands and expect everyone to do as I want. Including Cheyenne at times, at least since my accident. I swallow as she watches me. I'm sorry if I've been rude or unfair lately. I've only realized my true actions as of late and promise I will do better to be a fairer boss.

That's enough, Jacob, she scolds me and, for the first time, uses my first name. Cheyenne wouldn't appreciate you feeling sorry for yourself. I look at her, almost taken aback. She wouldn't and nor do I. We've known each other for quite some time, and I assure you, I would never work for an arsehole. I would never tolerate being belittled nor being mistreated. You have done nothing but treat your 3100 employees, including me, with the utmost respect, she finishes as she sits back.

Whoever put nonsense in your head is wrong. You are an exceptional leader, and I am proud to be your assistant Mr. O'Reilly. We all feel the same, or we wouldn't work for you, she ends with firmness in her no-nonsense way. Now then, shall we get back to work? You, Mr. O'Reilly, have a lady to woo back, she says and flips open her iPad.

This time I do chuckle with a nod. Aye. I guess I do! And I get the feeling it's not the first time I've chased after her, I joke as she smiles before laughing.

You're right there ... but it works both ways. Cheyenne has come after you too, Mr. O'Reilly, she smirks with wise eyes as she stands. Is there anything else? I shake my head as I contemplate her last comment. I watch as she leaves before unlocking my desk drawer.

I smile as I see a small framed picture lying on top of my files. It wasn't here on Friday when I locked up. Someone put it here over the weekend—someone who has access to my office. I smile more - into her smile. The smile I only save for her. The smile I portray in the photo I now study.

It's Cheyenne and me. I have my arms around her, with her back is to my chest. We are both beaming. She's displaying that sexy ass grin that gets to me every time, along with her magnificent turquoise eyes. On the other hand, my eyes are bright, transparent green, and I'm wearing a similar grin. We look so happy, so in love.

I flip over the frame and notice another photograph taped to the back along with a note addressed to me. I pull both of them off the back and grin again as I now study the tiny photo. It's old and worn. It's Chey and I again, only we are young. I look to be maybe 20 - bare of tattoos. Chey, maybe 18 at most. It's the same pose, same smiles, same everything as the framed picture; only it's not here in Ireland, I'm sure of it. I pull out my wallet and tuck it inside carefully. I unfold the small sheet of paper and tear it up once again.

Jacob,

I'm uncertain if you made it back to your apartment yet and received my other note and keys, but I wanted to give you back your photo of us. The framed one we took the week before your accident while walking around Dublin. The smaller photo you took on your last visit to Canada before returning for Zayn's wedding almost seven years later. I had no idea you had it as I found it just recently in your desk drawer.

In that photo, I was pregnant with your son, as he was conceived the night before. Obviously, we had no idea at the time. It wasn't until I left for university. I didn't ingest myself with drugs and alcohol until after I had miscarried. I lost our son ~ Jacob Jr. - JJ ~ due to being brutally attacked by five men while I was 16-weeks pregnant. The loss of our son and the miscommunicated knowledge of you being married to Molly sent me into a frenzy that only substances abuse seemed to soothe at the time.

I didn't want to tell you all this in a letter, as we have moved past this already. But I felt it necessary to explain myself once again. I will never give you a child due