A Holy Calling: Becoming a Godly Wife

By Ann McCallum

Many Christian women today classify their marriage as difficult
or challenging. This is accompanied by feelings of shame, fear, disappointment,
and disillusionment that hover over their lives. An inner voice questions if
God expects us to submit to a husband who doesn’t deserve it. To complicate the
situation, others tell us to leave him. Yet God’s still small voice whispers, “To
this you were called…”

Through a personal study of the books of 1 and 2 Peter, Ann
McCallum met God and chose to stay in a troubled marriage. Join Ann on the
journey to explore what the Bible says to those who truly desire to rise above
their circumstances and overcome every challenge to become godly wives.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Castle Quay Books
• Release date: May 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781988928623

Ann McCallum

Ann McCallum has been married 39 years and loves teaching the Bible. Her Christian service includes Executive Director of Highlands YFC for 22 years and spiritual Director for 4 years. She hosts two blogs and has written small group curriculum, 15 full length plays, and many newspaper articles. Ann greatly values family; she is a mother of 3 children who all follow the Lord and a proud grandmother of 9. When not writing, Ann can be found hiking, reading, and mentoring and encouraging young women.

Book preview

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Ann McCallum has learned from God (primarily through the Scriptures) and life (primarily through relationships and ministry). She has learned to be a leader and a follower, a learner and a teacher, a disciple and a spiritual director. Ann takes the pattern that the apostle Paul used in his writing of laying the foundation with Scripture and theology, illustrating it with your own life, and offering some counsel; then she appends some reflection questions and practical ways to make it real in your own life. Those who invest the time and effort to take this journey will certainly benefit.

Dr. Paul Bramer, Professor of Christian Formation and Leadership (retired), Tyndale University, Toronto; Education Director (retired), Emmaus Formation Centre, Mississauga

Ann McCallum is a godly woman, mother, wife, and leader. I have watched and worked with Ann in ministry for many years, when she served as the Executive Director of Highlands Youth for Christ in Orangeville, Ontario. Ann is an authentic woman who leaves health and growth in her path everywhere she goes. Ann is an authentic, real-deal follower of Jesus who has managed her family, run a ministry, and encouraged women around her, all the while faithfully managing life with a non-believing and often challenging husband. For this, Ann has been a hero of mine for many years, someone I dearly look up to. Everything Ann has written in this book is researched, tested, and proven in her own life. She has lived this, and it works. 

Tim Coles, National Director, Youth for Christ Canada

A Holy Calling: Becoming a Godly Wife

Copyright ©2022 Ann McCallum

978-1-988928-61-6 Soft Cover

978-1-988928-62-3 E-book

Published by Castle Quay Books

Burlington, Ontario, Canada and Jupiter, Florida, U.S.A.

416-573-3249 | [e-mail] | www.castlequaybooks.com

Edited by Marina Hofman Willard

Cover design and book interior by Burst Impressions

Printed in Canada

My heartfelt thanks to Dr. Marina Hofman for her patient and ever-diligent assistance in editing and completing this book, and for the godly women who have walked alongside me throughout my journey, especially my mentor, Sue, and my spiritual director, Birgid.

All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form without prior written permission of the publishers.

Unless otherwise marked, Scripture quotations are taken from Holy Bible, New International Version® Anglicized, NIV® Copyright © 1979, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (AMP) are taken from the Amplified® Bible, Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.lockman.org. Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from THE MESSAGE, copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, represented by Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Title: A holy calling : becoming a Godly wife : a Bible study in 1st Peter / Ann McCallum.

Names: McCallum, Ann, author.

Identifiers: Canadiana 20220150052 | ISBN 9781988928616 (softcover)

Subjects: LCSH: Wives—Prayers and devotions. | LCSH: Marriage—Religious aspects—Christianity. |

LCSH: Wives—Religious life. | LCSH: Christian women—Religious life. | LCSH: Bible. Peter, 1st—

Criticism, interpretation, etc.

Classification: LCC BV4528.15 .M33 2022 | DDC 248.8/435—dc23

Welcome to a Journey

This Bible study is written for Christian wives, whether your husband is a Christian, backslidden, or non-believing. My husband does not profess faith in Christ, and this is the wilderness where God has kept me living for the past forty years. During that time, my husband made a profession of faith but soon after slipped back into a lifestyle of addictions and a denial of God in his life. When he had an affair and left our family for a time, God opened up the truth of 1 Peter to me, and it changed first my heart and then my way of thinking and behaving toward my husband. When my husband returned home, as difficult as that was, I knew I was different because God had done a marvelous work in my heart. The truths I learned are what I want to share with you now to provide strength for your journey and renewed hope.

Before we begin, please take some time to read 1 Peter straight through. Try to read it through twice before you begin this study. Ask God to open your eyes to His truth for your life and to make your heart receptive to everything He has to say to you.

Let us begin with prayer.

Holy Father in heaven, the One who sees and knows all things, be near to me as I open Your Word. Speak to me through its pages so that my life will be transformed into Your image. Show me, Lord, what resistance I bring, and give me the courage to confess it and let You take it away so that I can become the godly wife that You want me to be to my husband. Keep the interruptions and distractions away from me during this time. I dedicate it to You. Amen.

Each study has an application section to help you work through what the Lord is prompting in your own life. I hope you won’t skip this step; you will get a lot more out of the study if you actually take the time to write out your answers and pray through the exercises. God bless you as you spend this time with Him.

Part 1

1 PETER

BECOMING

Study #1 Overview of 1 Peter

I have read 1 Peter as many times as I have read through the Bible. I usually read an Old Testament passage, a Gospel passage, and a New Testament passage each day. By passage, I mean either a section under a subheading or a chapter. When I got to 1 Peter 3 and other passages titled husbands and wives, I used to cringe. I hated reading how Christian husbands were supposed to love their wives and take care of them. I also hated reading that I was supposed to submit to my non-believing husband. I just didn’t know how to do that.

It was many years of marriage before I read the whole of 1 Peter in the context of relating to my husband. Actually, it was during a time when I discovered my husband was having an affair that the Lord spoke to me directly about how I needed to be a godly wife to my husband. This truth was paradigm-shifting and changed me forever. It was this truth that I clung to when my husband finally admitted his affair and left my three children and me while he went to live with his mistress. It was this truth that I clung to in hope, knowing that God would return him to us and that this was something God was using to bring my husband to Himself.

APPLICATION

What stands out to you as you read through 1 Peter?

How has God specifically spoken to you?

What surprised you?

What unsettled you?

What challenged you?

Begin a journal of your journey through 1 Peter where you can share your thoughts and prayers with the Lord. Writing down what you process before God will help cement it in your thinking and provide a record for you when you need to be reminded in the future. Make sure it’s kept where no one else will find it, so that you can be completely honest. I also suggest you find another strong Christian woman you can trust, and ask her to pray with you as you go through this study—someone you know will keep your confidence and who will not be afraid to speak truthfully to you when you need it. I recommend meeting with this woman weekly for prayer, even if it’s over the phone. Read through 1 Peter once more, this time in the context of how you are to be a godly wife. Not just chapter 3, but the whole book.

May God bless you as you embark on this journey.

#2 Spiritual Warfare

Ephesians 6:10–18:

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

If you really want to seek the Lord’s will for your life and for your marriage, then the enemy of our souls, Satan, is not going to like it. Although I am not the type who sees a demon around every corner, I do believe it is wise to be aware of his tactics and prepare for them. He knows what buttons to push, so decide in advance how you’re going to respond differently. The attack may not come directly through your husband; it could be finances, health, family, or a host of other things that the enemy uses to distract you. Decide now to resolutely follow the Lord and do His will, and persevere through this study and your pursuit of being a godly wife.

Remember that God told us to expect opposition and gave us armour to defend ourselves. Read Ephesians 6:10–18, and ask the Lord to equip you. Be aware of the enemy’s schemes, and pray regularly for protection. When worry, doubt, or fear assails you, cling to the Lord and His promise that He will never leave you or forsake you.

Your journey toward becoming a godly wife is God’s will for you. There will be times you are tempted to quit, get out, or fight back. If you fall, call on the Lord for forgiveness, and get right back on the path. If you are not tempted, and if you are not receiving some type of opposition, then it’s very likely you are not following the Lord. It just comes with the territory.

Find a verse of Scripture that speaks to your situation specifically. It could be Philippians 4:6, 8, 13, or 19. It could be Isaiah 40:31 or 41:10. Whatever it is, memorize it, and carry it around with you in your heart. Or write it on a sticky note and put it somewhere you will always see it, like your computer or the dashboard of your car. Hold on to the truth of God and by doing so defeat the lies of the enemy.

Proverbs 3:5–6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

APPLICATION

What decisions do you need to make in order to persevere through this study and your pursuit of being a godly wife? It may help you to set a time and location to meet with the Lord daily. A time doesn’t need to be exactly the same hour on the clock each day, but part of your routine. (For example, I get up, shower, pour a coffee, and sit down with my Bible first thing each day whether it’s at 5, 6, or 7 a.m.) Commit this in writing to the Lord.

Read Ephesians 6: 10–18 and ask the Lord to equip you. You may find it helpful to visualize putting on the armour every day. Are there other pieces of self-made armour you need to take off, like deception, in order to put on the belt of