Reflect

By Maria Lizza Bowen

IF YOU HAVE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE AND THE CONCEPTS OF REALITY & TRUTH, THEN THIS IS THE BOOK THAT EXPLAINS IT TO YOU

Seeing things differently can help you live the life you truly want!

What is reality? The truth is, that no one can give a definitive answer as reality is different for each of us. The unfortunate thing is that many of us are told what reality is and we come to accept it as fact. This can cause untold problems in our lives, leaving us feeling unfulfilled or even cheated out of what we actually wanted from life. There are ways, however, for you to gain a fresh perspective.

In this book, REFLECT: A Perspective on Understanding Your Reality and Becoming Unstuck, you will find new ways of seeing things through chapters that include advice on:

✓ The truth about reality
✓ The things you do not see
✓ Why you may feel disconnected
✓ Being honest with yourself
✓ Seeing the obstacles in your way as positives 
✓ Being grateful for what you have
✓ How to create your own reality
✓ And more…

When we see things differently and intentionally create the reality that we want, we gain fresh insights into how to live a life on our own terms that will lead us to the one we always knew we wanted.

By reading REFLECT you can achieve this and learn more about your existence and personal reality than you ever thought possible.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Maria Lizza Bowen
• Release date: Jun 17, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201805814

Book preview

Dedication

To my husband, Russ. Thank you for always being by my side, especially when I'm being honest.

To my parents Butch and Bernie – complete opposites! I can no longer tell either of you directly, but I am thankful for the way you raised us, allowing us to experience our lives with support instead of control.

To my older brothers Tony, Bob, Jim, Chris and families – I couldn’t imagine a better clan to be influenced by.

To my nieces, nephews, stepsons, grandnieces, and grandnephews: Briana, Natalie, Ariana, Sophie, Carlena, AJ, James, Sam, Nate, Ben, Luke, Laylah, Jackie, Layne, Jimmy, Avery, Addison, Jhett, and Lydia.

To my mother-in-law Linda, my entire extended family, and my friends who have become family.

Lastly, to those of you who decide to pick up this book, I hope you find and accept the wonderful gift that you are.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1: Why Me?

The Mess You’re In

The Whole Picture

What’s Really Going On?

A Way of Understanding

Chapter 2: The Truth About Reality

Perception is Reality

What is Reality?

Personal Reality

Consensus Reality

Ontological Reality

Phenomenological Reality

Reality vs. Truth

Your Truth or Your Opinion?

Chapter 3: What You Don’t See

What’s Behind Your Looking Glass?

Reflections

Smoke and Mirrors… and Screens

Light and Color: What You Actually See (or Don’t See)

Mirrored Balls

Chapter 4: It’s What’s Inside that Counts

Is It Me You See or Is It You?

Inside Out: Outward Effects of Inner Turmoil

Emptiness and Permission

A Very Personal Test

Why Do I Feel So Disconnected?

Chapter 5: Distorted Perception

Avoidance

Are You Angry or Are You Hurt?

Distraction

Defensiveness: Divided We Fall

Separation & Judgment

Blame: The Martyr, the Narcissist, and the One Who Surrendered

Put Down the Boxing Gloves

Chapter 6: Vectors of Awareness

Getting Honest with Yourself

Your Triggers

Weather and the Universe Inside You

Presence

Presence and Feelings

Negative Thoughts and Experiences

Obstacles Are Gifts

Obstacles Are Also Detours

Chapter 7: A Different Perspective

Dropping Illusions

Mind Your Own Business

Change Your Focus

Change Your Mind

Fragments and Expressions: Pizza, Holograms, and China Cymbals

Pizza

Food for Thought

Holograms

China Cymbals

Acknowledgement

Balance Not Blame

Cuore Decision

A Different Perspective

Chapter 8: Turning It Around: Reconnect!

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

Mirror Reflections and Course Correction

Find a Clean Mirror

Vulnerability and Defensiveness

It’s Not What You Have: Release and Potential

What You Want, Not What You Don’t

Good Distractions

Happy Packets! Turning I Deserve to I’m Grateful

BUT Keep Going

Cycles of Growth

Taking Care of Business

A Quick Note on Giving Feedback

Fairness, Kindness, Honesty, Authenticity

What Kind of Fool Are You?

Chapter 9: Create Your Reality

Step into Your Power

The Broken Pieces Which Make You Whole

Creativity

Chapter 10: Your Last Thought

Conclusion

References

Author Bio

Preface

Everything that is made beautiful and fair and lovely is made for the eye of one who sees.

—Rumi

I’ve always pondered our existence and the concepts of reality and truth. Even as a little girl, sitting under the table playing with my Barbie dolls while listening to my mom and several of her sisters engaged in deep discussions about life, I remember having thoughts about awareness of why we’re all here. Needless to say, I grew up with a persistent yet secret search for truth. Maybe for these reasons, I see things a little differently – as those closest to me like to point out.

In this book, you will find several mentions of David Bohm, a Theoretical Physicist and one of the world’s most respected in Quantum Mechanics. I first learned about Bohm in the early 90’s when I was reading The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot. At that time, I also learned that Bohm grew up in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, which neighbors my home town in Northeastern PA – a 10-minute drive. Since then, I’ve been intrigued by physics and have acquired many of David Bohm’s books. Much to my surprise, his name also seemed to surface through other paths of interest. During my early 30’s, I was dumbfounded one evening to hear David Bohm’s name mentioned while listening to an audio dialog given by the Dalai Lama! Bohm’s many collaborators included not only the Dalai Lama and Physicists Albert Einstein, Basil Hiley, Yakir Aharonov, but also Neurophysiologist Karl Pribram, Philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti, Artists Anthony Gormley and David Hockney, and Native American Blackfoot Researcher Leroy Little Bear.

Bohm weaved his knowledge of physics into the exploration of thought and consciousness as it relates to conflict, attention, and motivation on both a personal and societal level. He made associations between art and science, change and creativity, and eventually physics and spirituality. Bohm’s connection to Leroy Little Bear was a recent discovery for me and one that truly verifies my own belief that we are all connected. My mother has always been connected to nature and Native American ways, including that of the Blackfoot community. I was shocked, as I had recently begun reading the book David Bohm: On Creativity, to find that the preface was written by Dr. Leroy Little Bear!

Bohm’s books were not the only ones which had influenced my perspective. I have explored hundreds of books (mainly non-fiction) across countless topics over the last few decades – including, spirituality, art, language & culture, health, psychology, and all sectors of science and technology. It was only after I read my full manuscript that I discovered what a weighty influence Carl Jung had on me. I can clearly remember being propped up against an old apple tree in my backyard after school, reading John Stanford’s The Invisible Partners, where I was first introduced to Jung’s terms anima and animus".

Another very recent discovery for me was Rumi (Jalāl ad-Dīn Mohammad Rūmī), the 13th century Persian Poet and Philosopher. Once again, his work and his name began to come to my attention through different sources over the past year or so. Shahram Shiva, author, writer, poet, recording artist and translator of the works of Rumi, asserts that Rumi is able to verbalize the highly personal and often confusing world of personal growth and development in a very clear and direct fashion. He does not offend anyone, and he includes everyone... I will second that.

Aside from reading, I’ve always had an unwavering interest in language and culture. My very first flight was from New York to Firenze, Italy, where I studied for four months. Subsequently, I’ve traveled the world for both work and personal interests – never leaving a country or city without a native token representing the area’s personality. I’m fascinated in how people verbally and non-verbally communicate and interact. I’m also fascinated with expressions of creativity and thinking as it pertains to each culture – especially through music. I’m not sure what’s larger, my collection of books or music from around the world (or my Halloween props).

How could we all be so different, yet so unbelievably alike? For me, the search has never ended, but it’s finally starting to make some sense. I truly believe that this relentless determination to understand the world around me has been the reason for bringing this book into existence. One thing that I’ve experienced and know for sure – magic happens when you change your perspective; it always leads to a deeper level of understanding and a deeper level of harmony and peace.

As I’ve gained a deeper understanding over the years of how we see things and how we get in our own way, I realize that we really are all connected at the most fundamental level – our consciousness. No matter what I read or how far it may have seemed from the theme of existence, I was always searching for the same thing. A book on Decluttering? Vortices of Sedona? Maybe medicinal applications of Camptothecins? To me, they all point to the same thing – a search for truth. Decluttering is making room for potential; vortices of Arizona to understand energy, Camptothecins for physical healing. If you’re searching for something, you will find it in whatever you look at – whether you’re aware of it or not.

Introduction

We see only what we know.

—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

One evening, mom and dad, along with their two young boys Tony and Bob, were in the living room watching an opera on TV. While the boys were positioned on the floor sporting matching pajamas, a busty woman wearing a low-cut blouse began to sing. Bob’s eyes popped and jaw dropped when he saw her! He looked at his older brother with an expression of bewilderment and said, Hey Tony, look at where that lady’s ass is!

Life is not always what it seems. This short but true story referencing my two oldest brothers is a simple example of how our minds work. It is not what we perceive that creates our reality, but how we perceive or interpret what’s inside and outside of ourselves that shapes our world. The world reflects back to us what’s going on inside – and from there, our individual reality is formed.

What we think we see or experience can be very different from what is actually going on. Sometimes we see what we want to see – and our ability to interpret can get complicated, especially when we’re unaware, unwilling, or unable to see clearly. Throw in a little emotion and things really start to get interesting! When we consciously or unconsciously don’t deal with what’s actually happening, we don’t see the situation clearly and our perceptions get distorted. When our perception is distorted, we may find ourselves operating on auto-pilot, gravitating towards substance abuse, or some other way of disowning what we do not want to face about ourselves – just to escape from experiencing pain.

However, undesirable or painful experiences can instead be used as tools for awareness of what’s really going on – but only when you’re ready. Our experiences, especially the ones that we interpret as negative, are designed to bring us closer to being balanced or centered. When you are centered, you are able to see more clearly. When we acknowledge what’s honestly going on with love and without judgment or blame, we grow and learn from our experiences. We move closer to being in balance and experiencing peace. In order to have balance, you need opposites. If there were only good things in life, we would not understand what bad things are – and vice versa. You need the good, the bad, and the balancing of good and bad to experience peace and harmony.

The desire to honestly understand why things aren’t going the way you want is the most significant step in changing your life for the better. Our reality is continuously evolving, individually and collectively. Can you change what happened in the past? In reality, yes (you’ll see what I mean as you read on). In fact, in light of defense mechanisms which help us cope, we are probably all guilty of remembering things that happened differently than what had actually occurred. In actuality, we cannot change the past, but there is always an opportunity to change from your present moment and beyond: remember, our reality is continuously evolving. You do have the power to change the direction and quality of your life, no matter how old you are or what you may be feeling right now. Even in situations where we escape from feeling pain or fear, we ALWAYS have opportunities to redirect our lives for the better. We just need the will to acknowledge what’s going on and the awareness to accept where we are without judgment or blame. Easier said than done, right?

In short, this book is about making a decision to see things differently and to intentionally create the reality that you want. I hope it provides you with some insight on how to live the life you intend to live.

Chapter 1

Why Me?

"Being a victim of an unfortunate event should not be confused with playing the victim.

The former is NOT a choice, but the latter – if you let it – can be a way of life"

—Dodinsky

The Mess You’re In

We all experience problems, heartbreaks, disappointments – and we all ask ourselves, Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?. Without too much thought, many of us very quickly conclude, That’s just life. Life sucks, then you die. and we continue to feel sorry for ourselves.

But have you ever stopped to think, to really think, about why you’re in the mess you’re in or struggling with a specific problem? Why did you get passed over for a job that was a perfect match for your experience and skills? Why did your significant other completely disregard your feelings when making plans with a group of friends again? Why did you choose to let that baby-sitter watch your kids when you had some gut-feeling doubts about her decision-making skills? How could you have gotten in this toxic, co-dependent relationship and now you have no clue how to get out? Why didn’t you realize sooner that your so-called best friend was taking advantage of you for years?

There’s one answer that will fit all these situations mentioned above – and just about any other situation – and it’s that at some point, you weren’t seeing clearly when you made a decision. I can almost hear you thinking, You’re saying that all of the problems in my life are my own fault? Yes, sort of. Let me explain.

The Whole Picture

One evening, after boarding a plane headed to Arizona, my mom and I settled into our seats. Of course, there was a young woman with a baby crying in her lap, sitting diagonally in the row in front of us. I hoped the little girl would settle down once we got in the air, but no luck. In fact, not only was she relentlessly crying, the mother did absolutely nothing about it! She was just staring into space, emotionless, as if she didn’t even have a crying baby in her lap. Needless to say, everyone around this woman was so irritated, including me, and the tension was escalating with each blood-curdling howl from the little girl. Before anyone took the chance to say something, my sweet mom asked the woman if she could hold her baby. To my surprise, the unresponsive woman handed over her little girl to a complete stranger, my mom. Meanwhile, I’m whispering to my mother, Are you crazy? What are you doing that for? Why would this lady just give her child to a complete stranger?. Mom ignored me and continued to tell the little girl a story, just as she did for me when I was young. The toddler was captivated by my mom’s gentle energy as she slowly started to relax. Eventually the little girl fell asleep, as her big curls draped over my mom’s arm.

The mother of this child finally