Marriage at Ease

By Paeton Phaup and Taci Phaup

Is marriage fun for you, or is it frustrating? If you’re a military spouse or in the military yourself, you know that this particular job puts extra strain on every area of your life and requires additional effort and time.

In Marriage at Ease, authors Paeton and Taci Phaup use their own experiences to explore some healthy practices that can make marriage more of a breeze. They also consider what marriage truly is, how it came to be, and how it can last. Their candid discussion can serve as a manual and tool, with information designed to put your worries to rest and relax your grip on marriage as a duty. It can equip you with the hope you need to let go and trust the Lord with your marriage.

Uplifting and encouraging, this guide examines the topic of keeping the fire of marriage burning and provides practical, faith-driven advice.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 16, 2022
• ISBN: 9781664265288

Paeton Phaup

Paeton and Taci Phaup are passionate about God’s Word, sharing Jesus’s love with others, and supporting the military community. Paeton is a soldier in the US Army and Taci, in addition to homeschooling their three boys, teaches a home Bible study for fellow military spouses. The Phaups love fitness, baking, adventures, and the truth. They are from Texas and are currently stationed in Alabama.

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Scripture quotations marked (AMP) are taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright © 1954,

1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture marked (NKJV) taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright

© 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible,

English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry

of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (AMPC) taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMPC), Copyright © 1954,

1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. www.lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation,

copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of

Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) taken from the (NASB®) New American

Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman

Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.lockman.org

ISBN: 978-1-6642-6529-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-6528-8 (e)

WestBow Press rev. date: 05/18/2022

CONTENTS

Introduction

1 Intentionality (It would behoove you, yes?)

2 Commitment

3 Communication (Don’t be an oxygen thief!)

4 Roles (Stay In Your Lane)

5 Full Battle Rattle

6 Selflessness (The Good-Idea Fairies)

7 Contentment (The Sleep System)

8 Review (AAR)

9 Only One

10 Continue the Walk (Lima Charlie Wilco)

INTRODUCTION

I ntentional. That was the first word that came to mind when I felt God pressing, challenging me really, to write this book. Intentional about writing it, praying over it, and living out the topic by keeping the fire of marriage burning, which is particularly difficult in a military family. Marriage is not as smooth as hot fudge or always as easy as it can seem, but we know military life puts extra strain on even the smallest things. That extra money you put away for date night? Just hold onto it because your spouse needs new uniform patches. Waking up at stupid thirty in the morning to get your hubby back from the field and remembering to get the kids up and take them with you. Realizing you forgot to wash physical training (PT) uniforms and now your spouse is stuck in extra smelly PT clothes. Oops. Sometimes this stuff can honestly be amusing. We also know there is a lot of good that goes along with being in the military. It’s not all bad and it brings many blessings. But we felt led to write this book for two specific reasons: the twisted, skewed view of marriage in our world and the rate of divorce and adultery, particularly within the military. I don’t want you to get some illusion that we have it altogether and have all the answers. While we don’t have those things, we do have something else. We have the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior and His Word, and we have the wisdom and advice from other Christian married couples who have poured their experience into our lives. In this book, we will go over some of the examples we’ve seen that have made marriage operate more smoothly, but by the end we want to tie it all together with Jesus Christ. First, let’s dive into some healthy practices.

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INTENTIONALITY

(IT WOULD BEHOOVE YOU, YES?)

W e are often shown the following verse as words of encouragement when we’re down or feeling discouraged, worthless, or defeated.

For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you, says the Lord, plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP)

This is, indeed, an encouraging verse and a great reminder, but notice how the statement the Lord makes doesn’t end there. There has been an opening to the quotation but no closing. There is no closing quotation mark for his statement. The next couple of verses continue.

Then you will call on Me and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear [your voice] and I will listen to you. Then [with a deep longing] you will seek Me and require Me [as a vital necessity] and [you will] find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you. (Jeremiah 29:12–13 AMP)

God has plans for this person. This person has well-being, a future, and hope. What does this person do? He or she is intentional. Look at these phrases: Call on Me, Come and pray to Me, Seek Me and require Me, Search for Me with all your heart. These actions don’t come naturally to us. We must determine to make them a priority. Why am I saying all this? It stands to reason that in a relationship with Christ, if we want to grow closer to Him and reap His benefits we have to resolve to do so. The same holds true for any relationship and marriage is a prime example. When we intend to do something, we plan