Single, Saved, and Content: Finding Contentment in Singleness while Awaiting God’s Best for Marriage

By ANAELLE AUGUSTE

Anaelle Auguste had a dysfunctional relationship with her father which unconsciously affected her relationships with the opposite sex. Already battling with trust issues, she was devastated when she found out the man she was dating had already said, "I do" to another woman. On her path to healing, she went on a journey of self-discovery; she stopped managing her emotional symptoms and dug deep into the roots of her disease.

"Packed with real-life stories and full of informative tips, the book offers a strong, uplifting message of assurance and hope. This is a brilliant guide to living your life in contentment and happiness now rather than waiting for the perfect person to enter your life." The Prairies Book Review

• Language: English
• Publisher: ANAELLE AUGUSTE
• Release date: Jul 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9781649907196

Book preview

PART ONE

THE COUNTERFEITS

As important as it is to trust God to send you his best, you have to rely on him to reveal the counterfeits. – Anaelle

Unfortunately, during the journey as a Christian single everything on our path isn’t black and white. There will be counterfeits; beware of wolves coming in sheep's clothing. Recognizing them will make your single season a lot less challenging and will pave the path of your journey to contentment.

CHAPTER ONE

THE UNPREDICTABLE

L

ife always has a way of surprising us just when we think we’ve got it all figured out. However, it is what you do with these surprises that matters. Do you rise above them or let them break you?

One beautiful Saturday evening in April 2017 in Miami, the sun was just about to set. The vibrant yellow-orange hue of the sky shone through my windshield as I waited for my best friend, Veronica. Fidgeting against the steering wheel, tapping my right foot against the black carpet floor mat, I began to get impatient. I did not want to be late, not that day. It was a special service of gratitude to thank the Lord for his goodness toward the church.

________________________

Forgiving others will take a heavy load off of your shoulder; forgiving yourself will break the shackles that bound you.

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I turned on the radio and started singing along while scrolling through my phone. I glanced at the time on the radio and wondered what she was still doing inside and began imagining all her last-minute idiosyncrasies.

I’m here, best friend! she said as she opened the car door, interrupting my thoughts. I looked at her shaking my head as she got in, and we headed off.

That evening, an anointed young man was invited to our church. He was cute, well dressed, and talented, but I must admit, I had a disease. I was self-diagnosed with cute-boy syndrome. I seemed to always notice handsome guys and would immediately get excited as I would if I saw my celebrity crush.

Back at the house after church that night, all of us (Mimi, Veve, and I) gushed over how insanely cute the guy was, except for Veronica. She is the opposite of me where men and their appearances are concerned. Usually, I would be so excited to show her a picture of a handsome guy, the type they would call a pretty boy. And she would say something like, Really? I don’t see that. He looks okay to me. Her remarks were no different with this particular guy.

A couple of Sundays later, we attended another youth Sunday service, and the good-looking guy was invited to sing and lead. Oh my! The guy could sing! He sounded very mature, prayed with boldness, and worshipped as if it were just him and God in the room. For any Christian girl, this guy was the goal, but I was out of the equation. He was just too young for me to be attracted to him.

My friends and I were still curious about who he was—even though we knew it was a lost cause—we went on Facebook and looked him up. As we were looking at his pictures, it occurred to me that I was not out of the equation, after all.

He was the youngest in his family, and he had four older brothers. Obviously, the cute genes ran in his family, and that was where my story began…

On impulse, I innocently added one of his brothers on Facebook since, to me, he was the cutest one, and he also looked age-appropriate. We’ll call him Will.

Lucky for me, he was sweet too. He accepted my friend request almost immediately, and we started texting right away. Since he was a musician, I told him about my love for music. However, that love wasn’t mutual because every time I began music classes, I stopped since I couldn’t follow the rhythm, and I couldn’t sing to save my life.

He encouraged me not to give up on music—or anything, for that matter—just what I needed at the moment. The first night we spoke on the phone, it was so natural and comfortable that it felt like we had known each other for a very long time.

This guy was a natural talent, even better than his brother. He played the piano and the bass, and when he was on the drums, he killed it! Plus, he played one or two other instruments, and his voice was simply a-ma-zing! I have always had a thing for musicians…always. Many people out there seem to constantly say beware of musicians, as if there were no faithful ones. I found such generalization absurd. There must be a musician who is not a player; well, mine is trustworthy—that was all I knew.

Anyway, Will and I started talking daily, video chats, and so on. He even asked that we pray together on the phone at night. Everything was great. However, things were moving too fast, so fast that I was a little scared. We hadn’t been dating for two months, and he was already calling me his girlfriend, inviting me to meet his mother. One day, he sent me an online quiz titled How Well You Know Your Partner and some articles about marriage. That was sweet because it showed that he had good intentions for a long-term relationship, but it still felt early…too early.

I did the most important thing for this relationship. I prayed about it. I desired to seek God's will in this matter. I did not want to do anything without God at the center of it because I knew he would always work everything together for my good.

This experience taught me a lot. In particular, I learned to stop being petty. I’ve grown and matured since then. Will and I used to fight often about the same things. One of my pet peeves is that I detest it when others ignore my texts, especially if it is someone I care about on a romantic level. I know I am not the only woman who feels this way. Will would read my text and answer hours later or send me a text about something entirely different and ignore the previous conversation. This he would do in the middle of a meaningful discussion. My number one rule whenever I start getting close to a guy is, If you’re not going to reply to my text, just don’t read it. Once that rule was broken, he would get what most guys (if not all) try to run away from: a nagging woman.

I had a lot to learn. That was my first serious relationship. I had to learn how to not be a nag, put my pettiness behind me, consciously express myself, and voice my expectations. Unfortunately, I also had to learn not to expect his calls whenever he said he would call me back.

As time passed, his inconsistency began to raise suspicions. The feminine instinct is a powerful thing. I knew something was off, but I could not put my finger on it. Even though I had never been in a serious relationship, I’d had romantic interests before meeting him. Things had been different when I talked to other guys I liked before Will came into my life. We would spend hours on the phone, text throughout the day, exchange good morning and good night texts, but it was the opposite with Will. I wondered if it was because he wasn’t the romantic type. He did tell me he wasn’t mushy from the beginning.

However, at first, he used to video call me and serenade me by playing the piano while singing. A few weeks into the relationship, he became the busiest man I knew. Well, I assumed that his busyness was because he was a musician. He had gigs and rehearsals, and he was also studying music therapy. Sometimes, I saw him active on social media while my texts went unanswered. When I confronted him, he claimed he had to do homework in a group and used their WhatsApp group chat.

Another thing I noticed was that he had two best friends. When I called him, he would often put me on hold or say he’d call me back because he had to talk to one of them. This would upset me even though I knew they were his male friends. I hated it because it was becoming a pattern. Eventually, I decided to ask him what number I was on his priority list since he had changed so drastically. He brushed it off, and I sucked it up. Why? you may ask.

Well, because he had to put up with a lot to be with me. Believe it or not, he had to come to my school to see me. It may sound funny, but that was my reality. I was in my twenties, attending nursing school, yet I was not allowed to date. Well, that is the typical Haitian household rule and another story. Anyway, it was too early to bring him home. I was not ready for all the questions, and I was just getting to know him. Poor guy! Sometimes his aunt had to drop him at my school, after which he had to take an Uber to go home. I am pretty sure he was not used to that. He was so free that he used to spend the night at his best friend's. Me, on the other hand — I was like Rapunzel in a tower that he had to sneak into.

Going out with him required a lot of preparations. There was nothing romantic about our first date. I had not only a third wheel but a fourth and a fifth. I had to go with the girls, which was the only way any of us could get out of the house. If one was going out, all of us had to go. Later on, his friend, who had a crush on Mimi, and was trying to ask her out, joined us. So, on my first encounter being out with him, we had a table for six on what was supposed to be my romantic date.

Will was a gentleman. As soon as I got there, he opened the door for me. As the door cracked open, the cold breeze and the aroma of American cuisine gently hit my face. I felt hungry right away. The server took us to our table, and Will pulled out the wooden chair, looked at me, and smiled. As soon as I was seated, he pulled out the chair to my left and sat down. Although I was starving, Will kept me so entertained that each minute felt like a second. Before I knew it, they were serving our table. Don’t pretend you can’t eat just because I’m here, he said, smiling. Everyone laughed. I gave him a sideways look and smiled. We all ate and made small talk. He fed me from his chicken and shrimp pasta. Although it was a group date, it turned out to be great. He never complained about it. He was just happy to spend time with me, even if it meant being part of a group. I did not want our time together to end, but he had to go, and the girls had to as well.

We lingered behind and talked while he walked me to my car. By the time we got there, the girls were already inside. Then we said goodbye, and he kissed me. My eyes were open the whole time. My nosy best friend, who had been spying on us, saw the kiss and teased me as soon as I got into the car.

Who kisses with their eyes open? she laughed. The other two joined her in teasing me. I didn’t think closing your eyes while kissing was mandatory, but they insisted it was. After thinking about it for a moment, I did what I usually do when I have weird questions that needed answers. I googled it and found out that closing one's eyes helps the brain focus on the kiss. Okay, guys. I’ll close my eyes next time, I said, smiling all the while thinking about Will.

As time went on, I realized that not everything was flowers and rainbows in any relationship. Will and I had our first fight one Sunday afternoon. I was mad at him, so I ignored his phone calls and texts. He contacted my friends to find out if I was alright. That evening, I went to service, still giving him the silent treatment. While at church, I looked up and saw him playing the piano, about five feet away from me in the middle of service. No way! The pastor rarely ever let strangers play the piano. To this day, I still have no idea how this happened, but it did.

It turned out he wanted to surprise me that night. How sweet of him! I told you he was terrific. I was overcome with joy, especially since one of my weaknesses included a handsome man playing the piano in the house of the Lord. I couldn’t be mad at him anymore, but I had to put on a mad face. I couldn’t show him that I was happy to see him. He needed to know that it would take more than a little visit to get him off the hook.

After church, I sat there looking at the kids rehearsing a dance for Mother's Day service. He came over and greeted me, but I still acted as if I was upset. I had to be a good actress to keep it up. The guy was a dork but a cute dork. He was so goofy, and my friends loved him. To catch my attention, he began to mimic the girls’ dance moves. It was so funny that I was smiling but couldn’t let him see that. Then he approached me and apologized. We shook hands (that's what we do at church) and said goodbye. Deep down, I wanted more than a handshake, maybe a hug. I told my friends, and they encouraged me to go for it.

I followed him outside. He turned when he saw me and apologized again, and I got what I wanted. He hugged me. Safe in his arms, I whispered, I am so mad at you, but I love you.

Oh boy! I got more than I’d bargained for. When I let go, I thought that was it, but no. He kissed me, and that was our first kiss (it occurred before our first date), right there in the churchyard, under the stars of a beautiful night.

I could not stop smiling. To be honest, I wanted our first kiss to be on my terms, but this was a good