Once Upon a Potato

By H.L. Wienand

In the fairytale land of Gnash lives a wily fox called Sharp Ears.

Poor Sharp Ears has a problem: His young son has a craze for peeling potatoes. In fact, the little fox has no interest in doing anything else!

So Sharp Ears comes up with a crafty idea to put a st

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nerise Howes
• Release date: Aug 15, 2022
• ISBN: 9780645504415

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Copyright © 2022 by H.L. Wienand and N.Howes

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written per-mission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

Wienand / H.L. Author — First Edition

ISBN Paperback: 978-0-6455044-0-8

ISBN Ebook: 978-0-6455044-1-5

Prepared for publication by The Erudite Pen for H.L. Wienand and N. Howes

First edited by Jennifer Leigh

Cover design by Judith San Nicolas

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Henry Lemont Wienand was born in Johannesburg, South Africa. He grew up a free-spirited child roaming the hills of Florida and Quellerina in search of adventure as far from the eyes of adults as possible. In his early twenties, his family relocated to Zimbabwe where he spent time working in Zambia and the Copperbelt.

Later he returned to South Africa and started a family. He and his wife Elaine settled on a smallholding with their five children, German shepherd dogs, and a menagerie of cats, bantam chickens and saanan goats.

Henry worked in the engineering field for the majority of his life and dedicated his time to his passion of inventing renewable energy systems. His dream has always been to make an impactful difference in the world by contributing his often offbeat ideas to the collective consciousness to save the planet. When he wasn’t experimenting with the magnetic fields of pyramids, or connecting his long-suffering wife up to electrodes to measure the static current created by her nightgown, he would be found listening to classical music with his eyes closed, or writing one of his many fantastical children’s stories.

Henry has penned a collection of enchanting children’s stories and a Western novel called Gentle. He and Elaine currently live in Cape Town, South Africa, with their youngest daughter, her husband and their beautiful Maine Coon cats, where he passes his days dreaming up more ways to save the planet and entertain enquiring young minds.

Contents

No More Potatoes!

Lord Glitter Tooth

Chips and the Royal Mushrooms

Musical Mushrooms

Captain Knob

Glitty Seeks Revenge

Galloping Aubergines

Frolicking Willow Trees

The Good Old Days

King Spudsygoo and Queen Jollydoo

The Royal Opera Bowl

The Weeping Willow Opera

Queen Zippydoo

Flying Cabbages and Crying Pumpkins

Princess Velvetydoo

O Greatest Challenges Glitty

Racing Cabbages and Falling Bridges

Lord Glitter Tooth Embraces O Greatest

Saying Goodbye to Vegland

For all

children who

love

stories...

and

potatoes.

Chapter 1

No More Potatoes!

Many years ago, when cats were wild and dogs still dwelled in trees, a fox by the name of Sharp Ears lived with his family in the land of Gnash. The land of Gnash was a magical kingdom where animals and plants could speak freely and have all manner of adventures.

Now this tale would never have happened if Sharp Ears had not tried to straighten a family problem. The trouble began when his young son Chips developed a craze for peeling potatoes. His desire to peel potatoes became so strong that he had no thought or interest in doing anything else.

When Chips caught sight of a potato, he would start to giggle, and this giggling came in fits and starts. Grabbing hold of the potato, he would peel it at high speed, not stopping even for a second. As the potato peeler went round and round the potato, so too did Chips’ tongue, which was always sticking out, go round and round.

In the animal kingdom, if anyone showed any signs of a specific talent, or displayed any peculiar habit, that animal was promptly given a suitable nickname. Sharp Ears had earned his nickname because he had been blessed with a keen sense of hearing. He was rather proud of this name, which helped to boost his confidence as a hunter. So it was not surprising that he felt great disappointment when his only son was nicknamed, Chips.

Sharp Ears had hoped that Chips would earn a nickname more suited to hunting, like White Fang or Growler or maybe even Lightning. At first, Sharp Ears thought Chips was going through a phase and would soon outgrow this silly passion for peeling potatoes. But alas, as time went by, Chips’ craze for peeling potatoes became stronger and stronger, until eventually he even peeled potatoes in his sleep!

Needless to say, Sharp Ears became very worried, for if something was not done soon, the little fox or Chips would never learn to hunt. So he put on his thinking cap and came up with a super idea. One thing was certain though – he would have to tread very carefully. Should Mommy Fox become suspicious and get wind of his plan, then he would certainly land in the soup.

The first part of his plan entailed the building of a raft and a large wooden box. On completion, Sharp Ears hid the raft and wooden box in some reeds on the edge of the river. Part two of the plan was not so easy. Sharp Ears waited for a day when Mommy Fox was in a good mood. Her nickname was Bright Eyes, for she had the most beautiful, sparkling bright eyes that you have ever seen. Eyes that also missed nothing!

Mommy Bright Eyes, don’t you think that it’s time for little Chips to learn how to hunt? asked Sharp Ears one day.

Certainly not, he’s far too young, replied Mommy Bright Eyes.

I did promise my brother Fighting Tooth that I would pay him a visit. It would also be a good opportunity for Chips to get to know his aunt, uncle, and cousins, Sharp Ears said, rolling out part two of his plan.

Mommy Bright Eyes thought for a moment before agreeing. Well, I suppose so, providing you promise not to stay more than a few days, and that you will take a bag of potatoes with you to keep Chips amused. You know how he loves to peel them.

Would you like to come with us? asked Sharp Ears, secretly hoping that she would say no or his plan was going to fail miserably. She did pander to the boy and his craze for peeling those dratted potatoes.

No, I cannot go with you as my sister isn’t feeling well, and I must be at hand to help where I can, replied Mommy Bright Eyes.

Sharp Ears breathed a sigh of relief. He had timed his plan perfectly.

Chips was very excited when he heard that he and his dad were going to visit Uncle Fighting Tooth. Sharp Ears was just as excited, for his brother Fighting Tooth was a great hunter. He was also Chips’ godfather.

Maybe little Chips would fall under his uncle’s influence and lose his ridiculous passion for peeling potatoes. Any little fox would give his bushy tail to be taught the finer art of hunting by such a great hunter as Fighting Tooth. Sharp Ears could only hope.

*

Early the next morning, they packed presents and a large bag of potatoes into the wooden box. Excitedly, they then placed the wooden box onto the raft and pushed the raft into the river. Little Chips climbed onto the wooden box so that he could see his mommy standing on the riverbank.

Sharp Ears pushed against the riverbank with a long pole, and the current helped to pull the raft toward the center of the river. It began to spin round and round, making poor Chips sitting on top of the box very dizzy. As the raft began to drift down the river, it stopped spinning. Chips immediately felt much better.

Little Chips and Sharp Ears waved goodbye to Mommy Bright Eyes until she was completely out of sight. Sharp Ears, feeling very pleased with himself, sat down next to Chips on top of the box and whistled his favorite tune, The Rabbit Pie Serenade.

On and on they traveled down the river. Sometimes the raft crept along slowly; at other times it wobbled and bobbed along at high speed. Eventually the pair drifted into a long, narrow valley whereupon Sharp Ears suddenly sat up straighter. They had entered Fighting Tooth’s hunting grounds.

Sharp Ears decided that it was time to steer the raft toward the riverbank. Lifting the pole, he stuck it into the water, but to his horror found that the pole did not touch the bottom. They were now in great danger, for just ahead, the river plunged over a high cliff into an enormous hole. They were now headed toward a spectacular waterfall, where countless tons of water cascaded a great distance down to a roaring, bubbling pool below.

The scariest part was that this pool never filled up. The water disappeared into the bowels of the earth as fast as it poured into this hole. The hole was at the foot of a range of mountains, which reached so high into the sky that their snow-covered tops were usually hidden by misty clouds. To say the least, Sharp Ears and his son Chips were in big trouble.

Chips, quickly help me empty the wooden box. We must make space! Everything must be dumped into the river, cried an alarmed Sharp Ears.

In next to no time, they had flung the bag of potatoes and all the presents into the river.

But why have we thrown all the presents and the bag of potatoes into the river? asked the puzzled little fox.

So that we can make space where it will be safe for you. Quickly, Chips. Jump into the box. We have no time to lose! ordered Sharp Ears.

Little Chips promptly hopped into the box, and before he had even made himself comfortable, Sharp Ears had closed the lid. Then Sharp Ears jumped into the river. Hanging onto the side of the raft, he tried to swim toward the riverbank. But just at that moment, the raft struck a large rock that was sticking out above the water. Sharp Ears lost his grip on the raft and sank below the surface.

Popping his head out of the water, he grabbed hold of the rock while he spluttered and coughed. Looking around, he spotted the raft and instantly held his breath in spellbound awe.

Suspended over the waterfalls, forming a gigantic archway, was a majestic