ROSES AND BLISS: Proven Steps For a Successful Marriage

By Joyce Ojeifo, Dr.Becky Enenche and Raymond Aaron

This book narrates the author's true life story of God's faithfulness in her marriage.

It fully explains the proven steps she took that led to this beautiful story you will be reading. From knowing God's will in choosing a life partner, the red flags to look out for while dating/courting to the actual marriage itself and how to keep the love alive while raising godly children Joyce Ojeifo dealt extensively on these. God's intentions for the marriage institution and the joy of marriage may be fading in godless circles, but it's still a glorious blessed covenant among the children of the living God. This is the import of ROSES AND BLISS. This is the great height of marriage that the author- Joyce Ojeifo is enjoying, and she's taking the body of Christ particularly, and the world generally, in this marvellous book.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Aug 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781772775099

Book preview

Chapter 1

Let’s Get It Right

1

Marriage Is God’s Institution

At the beginning of human history, God himself instituted marriage and ordained it to be. In Genesis 2:20, the Bible describes how God took a rib from the man He had already created, and fashioned it into a woman to be a suitable helper for the man. God brought both together and confirmed their relationship as husband and wife, thereby ordaining the institution of marriage. Marriage involves a covenant between a man, a woman and God. Man and woman, by mutual consent, enter the arrangement. Marriage is of a supernatural origin. However, for the procedure to be valid, it must be consistent with divine law. Marriage remains a good idea because it is God’s own idea. God created marriage, designed it, established and defined its parameters.

Since marriage was designed and inaugurated by the Creator, it therefore means that He has the authority to set the rules. There was a story told of a Ford car user who had issues with his Ford car on his journey, but Mr. Henry Ford was driving past and requested to lend a helping hand. When the engine came on, the Ford user asked Mr. Ford if he was an engineer. Mr. Ford replied, I made the car. So it is with marriage—God created it, so only He can make it work.

God, the designer of marriage, must be consulted at every given time for guidance on marital issues. Men and women do not have the right to treat this sacred human relationship in a cavalier, self-directed manner. God established marriage as the first and most fundamental component of human society. Marriage is the foundation of the family, and the family is the bedrock of a healthy society. The institution of marriage existed before other institutions: marriage, then family, churches, schools, businesses, governments and nations. Family, society and the world at large stemmed from marriage. Thanks be to God Almighty for His unfathomable wisdom in all of these.

Marriage Remains Honourable

A lot of married couples do not seem to understand that marriage itself is honourable. This knowledge, though rare, is a fundamental requirement for marital bliss.

Success in marriage does not depend on spouses committing themselves to EACH OTHER as much as it does to their committing themselves to MARRIAGE, the unchanging institution that they have MUTUALLY entered into.

– Myles Muroe

Over time, in this journey of my marriage, I have come to understand that marriage is not just about me; neither is it about my dear husband. We have learnt to first respect and honour this steady, unchanging institution we willingly enrolled ourselves in, as we continue to constantly grow and mature toward oneness. Our marriage success story today is not only founded on our commitment to each other, but it can also be traced to our commitment to marriage. We believe and chose to see marriage as a divine assignment for the fulfillment of God’s agenda for the human race. God is depending on married couples to populate His kingdom and depopulate the kingdom of darkness.

Hebrews 13:4 says marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. The word honourable, in Greek, is timios, which means valuable, costly, esteemed, beloved and precious. So marriage should be esteemed, valued and held in highest honour at all times, in all things, by all people everywhere.

In this present day, marriage has fallen on hard times. It is no longer viewed by many people as necessary in a relationship. The number of couples who have decided to live together without the commitment of marriage continues to outnumber the legally married ones. A recent news headline read, Living together without getting married is the ‘new’ norm. Many have chosen cohabitation rather than marriage. Cohabitation is defined as the state of living together and having a sexual relationship without being married. Such a relationship is not acceptable or honourable to God. Marriage is to be honoured by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4 (GNB)

Laying the Right Foundation

Laying the right foundation is fundamental to building a durable marriage. One must possess good enough reason for desiring marriage. This will help to set the right foundation upon which the marriage will be built.

If we can lay the foundation right, then the building will stand the test of time. There is need to have a very good reason for getting into marriage. This helps to set the right foundation upon which the marriage will be built. If we are able to answer the question of why do I want to get married? I think it will help prevent a lot of problems and heartaches that we sometimes see in marriages. Some of us have the wrong reasons, and they are quite insufficient to birth and sustain a long lasting marital relationship. I have encountered friends that gave me great reasons they wanted to get into marriage, while at the same time, I have some with very wrong and unhealthy reasons for choosing to marry. There are several wrong reasons most young men and women want to get married. Some of the reason are:

Fear of being left out. This happens to both men and women, but it mostly affects the women. Some people believe that at a certain age in the life of a young lady, she ought to be married, and if this is not happening, then something is going wrong and they start panicking. They get so worried and their confidence level begins to diminish. The fear of being left out can lead to a woman making a wrong decision of marrying the first guy that comes her way, and this may hurt all through her lifetime. That said, it is worth noting that this pressure of being left out is real and can be very challenging, especially for the young women. It needs to be handled carefully and, where possible, the right counsel needs to be sought, so that the phase can be handled very maturely to avoid any mistakes.

Every man and woman on planet Earth will always achieve the same goal at different times. My timeline and yours are never going to be the same. The plans and purposes of God for our lives are quite different. So, as children of God, let’s not run our lives based on what we see in other people, or based on what others have accomplished in life. We are in no way in competition with anybody. There is no need to compare yourself with others because there is no wisdom in doing this. According to scriptures:

We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.

(2 Corinthians 10:12 NIV)

Although we often say that life is a race, there is no first, second, third or last position in the race of life. Just ensure you are in your lane running, with your focus on God directing your path, and you will fulfill God’s planned destiny for you and will finish well.

Unhappy home situation or environment. I grew up to naturally thrive where there is peace. I love being in a happy environment, but unfortunately my parents were often seen on each other’s throats. Whenever this happened, I would feel so sad and ashamed. I usually would hide from being seen by my neighbours because they might ask me what is happening in my home. I was still very young, but one day I had to walk up to my dad, and I expressed how disappointed, ashamed and unhappy I felt each time they were at each other’s throats. I told him that I felt like running away from the house. My dad couldn’t look at my face. I guess he was quite shocked to hear this from his little daughter; he bowed his head and said to me, I have heard you. I am glad to announce to you that it was the last time, as far as I can remember, seeing my parents fight. So I can relate to many young people who find themselves in an unhappy home where there is verbal, physical or sexual abuse, and all they just want to do is to escape from such a toxic environment. However, unfortunately, this should not be the reason to get married, because it can lead to another form of unhappiness.

I also know that some people find themselves in a home where they are never appreciated for anything; no one sees anything good in them. These people are the ones that suffer from constant verbal and physical abuse, and sometimes they feel like running away from such a toxic environment or home. They are forced to stay back in this environment for the fear of where to go and who will take care of them. For such a group of people, at any slightest opportunity to legally leave the house, they would normally jump at it. Unfortunately, this might not be the right reason to get married, because it can lead to another form of unhappiness. There are other ways such issues can be addressed:

•Pray about the situation.

•Seek counsel.

•Address the root cause if you can.

•Stand up to it like I did.

•Get busy.

This is a true-life story. One of my employees recently attempted suicide because of the unrestful situation in his family. He was consistently being abused and bullied by his father. On this faithful day, he said he just felt he couldn’t go on with life anymore, and he drank a substance that made him become unconscious. Thank God his siblings were still awake to be alerted of the emergency, and he was taken to the