My Mess Is for Sale

By Pascal Mukadi

John 3:16 reads “for God so loved the World, that He gave His only begotten son”, is erroneously interpreted as, “for God so loved the Christians.” Christians thus ‘kidnapping’ the only hope intended for the world, divided religion. John 3:17 states “Christ did not come to condemn the world, but to save it”. Who would reject such a powerful love? This was no mistake, but an intentional orchestration by certain individuals.

The main fight to engage in, to fix our world, is that of good versus evil, light against darkness. Other issues such as social injustice, racism and divorce all stem from this fight. When the Bible refers to masters, it is to those with power and influence, not Whites. Even though Whites have had both to date. Whites did not enslave Black people, the gun did. The gun is a tool for darkness and evil, enabling those with destructive power to reign supreme and colonise whomever they choose.
Furthermore, we have idolised marriage and criminalised divorce, using the Bible that contains consolation and healing for brokenness, to perpetuate the lie. The Bible refers to marriage as being sacred, not to married people. It does not uphold it as an achievement. Marriage is a choice. We tend to forget our freedom of choice, which has consequences both good and bad. For example, although you can choose which car to buy, you cannot drive it as you please.
We do not need to eradicate racism in our society before we can experience equality. Perpetuators of racism and its ‘victims’ are both sick and need therapy. Equality is a gift from God. Those who claim to be superior, oppressing others by using demonic powers like guns and those seeking the equality they already have, are both denying this gift.

We must return to the foundation of the pillars of our lives, where everything was originally rigged, and fix it, or we will continue to hurt.

I invite you all to journey with me as I tackle these messes, with an aim to undo these unfounded lies and finally regain the freedom that was originally intended by our Father.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pascal Mukadi
• Release date: Aug 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005828493

Book preview

Dedication

I dedicate this book, to my late earthly father whose unconditional love, was nothing but a paved way for me to easily accept the greater love of my heavenly father.

To my first born son CJ whose short lived life on this earth was nothing but inspirational.

To JC my second born son and best friend whose hilarious speech on my wedding day, still makes me giggle until today.

To Alexia my little princess whose birth did not only come at the perfect time in my life, but much more, it was also a symbol of hope for a much brighter future ahead.

To Andrew my last born son whose birth coincided with my 50th, what a gift! Or perhaps just a new dawn for me.

To Alexandra Kozubovsky Pascal, thank you for introducing me to a part of myself that neither me nor so many other people knew existed. It’s either you are blind, or you have simply chosen to only focus on the best in me. Whatever that is, please stick to it because it works, and I love you.

Pascal M

Introduction

One morning I woke up, I was both broke and broken. I was broke not only because my multimillion-dollar business of ten years was now in a process of filing for bankruptcy, but also because all my friends at the time were substituted by lawyers, never mind that I spent most of my time in courtrooms, in lawyer’s room than my office boardroom.

Spiritually Broken, as I became a single dad for the second time, and father of two boys that I was raising on my own, not that my boys were motherless, nor they were adopted. But it just happened that I and their respective moms were no longer seeing eye to eye anymore. So, they had decided to join my long and infamous list of angry ex-lovers.

If you thought that was bad, please hold on, there is more. Nothing had warned, nor signalled me that along the way I would lose my firstborn son to a sudden accident that took place in our own home. When this happened, I quickly realized that being in deep trouble does not necessarily exempt you from encountering even much deeper ones. If I say that my life was in a mess; it would be an understatement because I was a mess.

So, because I had absolutely nothing left to lose anymore, I have then decided to turn to God as a last resort just trying to see if He could still help, and surprisingly, He did. God had graciously taught me how to turn my mess into a commodity (purpose) that is now for sale.

My mess is for sale, is a book that speaks of the different occurrences and experiences that took place in my personal life and the life of many people who were directly or indirectly connected to me. In it, you will find my deep thoughts, tools, concepts, and testimonies to meditate upon. It contains practical wisdom for you to use when facing challenges in your day-to-day life, or while recovering from significant setbacks which you may have experienced in your past or in your future. However, with the help of God victory over them is always possible.

We are living in a time and age where so many things, we have become accustomed to doing, are a direct result of other people’s choices, greed, and manipulations. If not careful, one may live their entire life, filled and controlled with others’ choices.

Today, it is possible to live from birth to death without ever having made any of your own choices or decision in any area of your life, but still, be impacted by what others have decided for your life. There are factors like politics, religion, social life, traditions, racial beliefs, including corporate influences that affect so many of us even though many of us haven’t contributed to their existence. For example, we have been digitally programmed to suffer from a yes sir syndrome to a point where opposing ideas, decisions, or questioning systems implemented by others, automatically turns you into becoming the enemy of the system.

Due to fear of being an outcast, many of us have subjected ourselves to a life scripted by other people or the society we are living in, hoping that someday or somewhere along the line, things will change for the better.

Well, it’s worth knowing that nothing changes without our intended and deliberate contribution.

There are many invisible or unnoticed little activities or habits that we have become accustomed to over our lifetime that may have become our norms. But we forgot that they were inflicted on us. Because some of those habits aren’t necessarily fatal, many of us have grown totally oblivious to them or even desensitized. For example, in many churches we aren’t encouraged to challenge the word of God, it is perceived as rebellion. But in the bible, according to Isaiah 1:18, God says Let’s reason together.

So, through the book, I hope to raise our awareness of some of these issues and share with you how to tackle them whenever they show up again in your life. The intent here is, not necessarily to fight and win every battle that comes our way, but at least to retrain our brain once again to think for itself, hopefully, and inevitably we will start to feel less and less victimized by the society we live in. I hope this will help you jump-start your journey towards gradually regaining your lost or tainted self-esteem.

Disclaimer

A few years ago, I was experiencing what many people may call an epiphany. But to me, it was just an internal voice that was compelling me to share my life experiences in a book. I thought it was hilarious because at that specific time of my life I was at my lowest with absolutely nothing to show for, except the mess I was in. So, I never really entertained that internal voice, hoping it will go away. But instead of going away, that voice became louder each new day.

So, I then decided to entertain it but sarcastically. This is how I replied to it, What will I share with people? Can’t you see that all I have left around me is simply a great mess? Then I heard, Give that mess to me for a while; let me polish it for you, and by the time I will return it to you, it will become a commodity that may many use to learn from. So, I said, You mean that people can learn from my mess? I heard, Yes! In fact, you can even sell it to them. This is how the title of this book was born.

Later I discovered that the interaction I was having was with the Holy Spirit hence I feel the need to make the following disclaimer; the contents of this book can benefit every reader, but mostly the believers or those who have the spirit of God in them. Therefore, while reading it one must constantly remain conscious of that fact. To the non-believers, there are many materials out there that you can indulge in if you want to continue to perpetuate your unbelief, but unfortunately, this is not one of them.

To the believers, if your perception of Christianity for you is simply another religion with rules and commandments , chances are good that you might feel offended while reading certain materials in this book. As for me, I wrote this book going from the notion that Christianity is a story of an heavenly King and his kingdom coming down to earth to conquer it, colonize it, making it reflect the same as it is in heaven.

The Awakening

1. My Father Called Me By My Name

Your son is a thief and both he and his friend have been expelled from our boarding facility. Please take him and his bags out of here before he negatively influences other pupils.

These were the words uttered to my father by the principal in his office the day after my friend Longo and I had been caught stealing fruits from the farm at the boarding facility where we resided. My father responded to him after violently opening the door separating the corridor where I was sitting and the principal’s office by saying, Look carefully at that boy sitting there. His name is Cera and I forbid you from calling him a thief because he is not one. Are you wondering how I know that? It is because he is my son. The door was then slammed shut leaving me sitting there in a total panic while waiting for my fate to be decided upon.

Let me briefly recite the story that compelled the principal to summon my father that day. It was 1988 and I was in Grade 9 studying at Don Bosco, a technical school in former Zaire. Don Bosco was a reputable school that had enrolled a lot of students from many provinces in the DRC, however, there was one disadvantage – it had no boarding facilities. So, to accommodate the students from out of town, the school had partnered with a boarding facility nearby where many of us resided while still attending class at Don Bosco.

The two institutions were a few kilometres apart but a good hour’s walk or sometimes even two depending on one’s pace and rush to reach the destination. I dreaded those morning walks because we were always late for class. However, in the afternoon there would be no rush because we only had to return to the boarding facility before they closed the gates at 6.30 pm, which gave us plenty of time to spare. The boarding facility was called ‘’La cite des Jeunes’’ which simply translated means the youth city. It was in a farm compound that was owned by a monastery.

The compound had the most cultivated lands that produced enough fruits that could have flooded the international fruit market, but instead, they produced all of those fruits solely to feed us. Every Saturday morning, we were sent to work at the farm where we were constantly supervised by a few selected students who acted as the eyes and ears of the principal. There were clear rules to adhere to when working on that farm. Among the many rules, one still resonates with me today because it was the reason why I ended up in the principal’s office in the first place. It was the rule that said we had to respect the birds who came to the farm to eat the fruit that lay on the ground.

We were also taught to keep quiet or walk away from the birds until they finished feasting on whatever they found on the ground. As if all those rules were not hard enough to keep, we were also taught that under no circumstances were we allowed to touch any of the fruit, whether rotten on the ground, nor ripen even half-eaten by the birds, nor hanging on the trees otherwise you would face severe punishment. In some instances, we were even punished for just looking at the fruits for too long.

Every Saturday morning the work at that farm was not something that we desired to do, but we had no choice because not only was it compulsory for everyone, but it paid for the free accommodation as well. After labouring for a few hours, we would return to our dormitory to shower and head for lunch where we would be served food mostly produced by our farm and followed by dessert that was mainly made from the very same fruit that we had picked up that same morning.

That boarding facility was clean and was always in an impeccable state because we were constantly cleaning the place. Plus, other workers came in to help during the week. Every evening after dinner, we would go to study, then at 9 pm, the alarm would ring indicating that it was time for bed. Every dormitory had what we called a commander-in-chief who was in charge of switching off the lights and keeping the keys away from the doors.

Although the commander could switch off the lights at a specific time, he could not stop us from talking to each other or even walking around in the dark. It was during that very time that my friend Longo and I would climb out of the window and watch how the birds would indulge in the ripen fruits under the dim moonlight over the farm. I am not sure if birds can be possessed, but one thing I still remember about those birds was that they acted very strangely. They did certain things that were not birdy, like they would make sure that we get closer to the window before they came and started poking on the paw paws, mangoes, bananas; the list went on and on. It was as if they knew that we were supposed to respect them and just watch.

Sometimes they would eat the whole fruit until it fell off the tree, other times they would poke it and leave it half-eaten to rot. When we could no longer tolerate watching those birds, we decided that we had to come up with a strategy to save the fruits from being spoilt by them. One thing that came to mind was to eat the fruit before the birds could spoil them. The big question, however, was: How do we pick up the fruit? There were two challenges. The first one was that all the windows of our dormitory were facing the farm and there was absolutely no way that we could get our plan to work without involving the rest of the students.

The second challenge was that our dormitory was on the second floor and there was no other way to get access to the farm except via the windows. This challenge was the easiest to resolve because we borrowed a very long and strong rope from our technical school, the one we used to offload stuff from the delivery trucks.

Resolving the first challenge was the biggest hurdle. We came up with the idea of selling our plan to all the students, one by one. We succeeded in convincing and winning over 98% of the students except for two, the commander and his deputy. We knew that the two of them would never adhere to our plan no matter what, so we decided to threaten them with a severe backlash if they ever tried to disclose our plan to the boarding master.

The night of the first operation, Longo and I took a basket from the kitchen that we snuck into our dormitory. We were going to use it to carry the fruits we picked from the farm ground and pull it up through the window into the dormitory. As soon as the lights went off, we tied the rope against a pillar that was close to the window and I used the rope to climb down. Once I reached the ground, I untied myself so that Longo could pull up the rope and tie the basket onto it and send it down to me to fill with the fruit that I picked off the ground.

Since it was my first time being on the farm without supervision, I picked the first fruit that I could lay my hands on and started to eat it almost in defiance of the birds. Then I heard Longo quietly calling out to me. After getting my attention, I started to fill up the basket and once it was full, I signalled to him to pull it up with the help of the other students. The first operation was so successful that we decided to continue several more times until the day we were caught in the very act.

That day after receiving a few lashings from the supervisor who caught us, both of our parents were summoned by the school principal. We were told that we were expelled from the boarding facility while the school still had to assess our fate. We were told to pack our bags and wait for our parents who were instructed to come and fetch us the following day.

That day, we were not allowed to go to school but were told to wait in the principal’s waiting room until our parents arrived. We sat there in absolute silence as we contemplated our future as it was unfolding most unpredictably. We knew that we had screwed up big time, however, what was even worse, was that we were both sad for putting our parents through all that; especially considering the significant sacrifices they had made for us to move to that city to study at the best school in the country at that time.

We were simply too young to face that kind of crisis and as we sat there with our backs against each other, in total silence. Our silence was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a car entering the boarding compound, it was Longo’s dad. He parked the car next to the principal’s office and we could see him through the window as he made his way towards us. When he reached the corridor where we were sitting, he nodded his head to acknowledge us and went straight into the principal’s office.

Shortly after he entered the office, we heard the principal’s voice getting louder and we could hear everything that he was saying to Longo’s dad. When he finished talking, we heard Longo’s dad apologizing to him before opening the door and walking out, giving his son a look that said, You are dead. He said Follow me, as he walked past us. And as soon as they got outside, he gave my friend one of those slaps that said, We are now square. They both jumped into the car and left.

I was left alone in that corridor and I was so scared that I started to sweat. I also noticed that there was a funny smell in the room. I later realized that the smell came from what my stomach has released out of fear. Until then, no one ever told me that fear had a smell. I waited for another good hour before my father arrived. I knew it was him because I knew the sound of our car and I could also see it from afar as it approached the school because it was a very unique Opel Ascona that my dad had purchased from a retired doctor.

After entering the compound, my father got out of the car and lit a cigarette first. He puffed on it a few times and dropped it on the floor crushing it under his foot before walking in. I could see him as he approached where I was sitting and from the look on his face from far, my spirit shifted from fear to love. Though I was scared of what could still transpire, but just by seeing my father and knowing how much he loved us as his children made me believe that whatever would happen that day, it was not going to be the end of my life. My father was a very quiet man in public but he joked around a lot when he was amongst us, his children.

He was the firstborn of a family of five but did not relate to any of his siblings. He was an entrepreneur, a self-made businessman, fearless, and exuded so much joy wherever he went. He was my confidant and at the same time, my hero. I knew all the above but at the same time, I knew I had messed up again and was expecting to suffer serious wrath from him. As my father passed by me, my head was facing down due to the shame I felt because of what the principal had said earlier to us. The shame of being mocked by the other students who seemed happy to see my friend and me being expelled from the boarding facility. I saw his boots walking slowly past me until they disappeared into the principal’s office.

Just as he walked into the office, I heard the principal raising his voice again. This time at my father. Every time his voice got louder, the smaller I got in that corridor because I knew that I was the cause of the humiliation my father was facing. The shouting continued for a few minutes more until I heard the door to the principal’s office open and just when I braced myself for the worst, I heard my father saying, Look carefully at that boy sitting there. His name is Cera and I forbid you from calling him a thief because he is not one. Are you perhaps wondering how I know that? It is because he is my son.

Shortly after that, my father went on to say to the principal, Really?? Is it because of mangoes that you had to interrupt my work and summon me to this place? If my son needs mangoes and you cannot provide them, why did you not just inform me and allow me to bring them for him? Is it not precisely why I brought him here to this boarding facility so that you could teach him about discipline?

After saying all that, my father walked out of the principal’s office. When he got to the door where both the principal and I could see him, he said, Whatever happened, happened within the confines of this place and shall be resolved here. I am going back home and I am leaving him behind to continue with his schooling. You or the school should call me when he does something outrageous, not taking mangoes without permission. My father left that place as he had said he would and left me behind with my bags packed still sitting in that corridor.

Although weak and scared for breaking the rules of the boarding facility, guilty as charged, and expecting severe punishment which I was ready for, I still remember how delighted I was when I heard my father once again call me by my name. I was too young back then to grasp the full meaning of that feeling and what transpired that day. It took me a few decades to realize that in that corridor I did not sit alone. The enemy was also sitting there by me, waiting for my father to confirm my new identity: A thief.

The enemy was celebrating because he knew that I was guilty of breaking the law and that even my father, my hero, would have no choice but to reinforce my new given identity so that later in life he would remind me that even my father had admitted in time past that I was a thief. But my father, either out of revelation or by pure instinct, instead of aligning himself with the principal’s declaration and labelling, which many parents would have done and sadly possibly still do, he took my side!

It was as if he knew then that the fruit was replaceable, but agreeing to call me a thief could have damaged me beyond repair. On that day, unknowingly to me, I had just experienced Grace in its purest form. Later in life, by the time I encountered Christ, I had already been familiar and exposed to that kind of love, hence my short-lived struggle to accept him as my Lord and saviour.

I will spare you the details of what transpired after that incident. But the reason why I related this story was not so much to express how my father was more merciful than my friend’s father, nor to incriminate my former principal, but I hope that through this story, many of you would realize how you have lived too long under the law, either of religion, society, organizations, etc… completely forgetting that ‘’GRACE’’ still applies irrespective of your mistakes. It just depends on who is your father! I hope this will trigger your heart to receive many revelations as you are getting exposed to the contents of this book.

To many of you reading this, maybe your father could be characterized as my friend’s father. For some of you, your father may have been like the principal. If that is the case, chances are you will struggle to accept the material in this book unless you have overcome being bound by the concept of an earthly father versus your heavenly father. In my case, I did not struggle much with receiving the love of the Lord Jesus Christ because I had an opportunity to experience first-hand grace from my earthly dad.

I plead with you to awaken from your robotic condition and state of mind. Try to read this book and the material herein with an open heart ready to receive. Otherwise, if you are still judgmental and critical about the love of God, you will be unjust to yourself and God for that matter. Today, I can afford a whole farm of mangoes, but erroneous name-calling due to my naughtiness could have spoilt the entire potential that the Lord had in store for me. I truly thank my father for calling me by my name on that day. If a mortal man could show that kind of grace to his guilty son, how much more would God do? Read Ephesians 5:14.

There are many of you reading this book that the Lord has been calling by your name. But because you have been so accustomed to and accepted the name that the principal, your ex-spouse, your siblings, your former boss, the divorce court verdict, the bankruptcy papers have given you that you cannot fathom God being on your side. However, whether you believe it or not, He is on your side. Many of us think that once we have done something wrong, God automatically puts us at the mercy of the devil to decide on our fate. If that is the case that means my worldly father was more gracious than God.

A Plastic Card May Carry Some Information About Us, Not to Be Confused With Our Identity.

The following story is another example of my experience to highlight how we have distorted ideas about our identity. I am an athletic person and I go to the gym very often. I am sure we all know the process of becoming a member.

We sign a contract which most of us don’t take time to read carefully. Probably put off by the length and the monthly debit order that will start going through our account. In fact, most time we lose interest shortly after signing the contract. To make matters worse, no one from the gym cares to call us to ask why we have not shown up at the gym for the past three months as long as they receive their monthly payment.

No one is concerned about the fact that you have picked up more weight now than before you joined the gym, possibly due to the stress of the additional financial burden called gym instalment. Nobody is concerned if you are training the right way or that you are achieving the initial goal of joining the gym which is to be healthier.

You have to teach yourself how to train right and if you don’t know what to do or engage a personal trainer which means more money. You have to queue for everything: queue to use the machines, queue to use the bathroom, and pay for parking which means wasting more of your time. My other observation is you have a choice between a local membership that allows you to train at one location, which usually is cheaper, or what they call the national membership which gives you access to training in all of their branches nationwide, which is more expensive.

Hang on a second! I think the sales team is missing the point here. This shouldn’t be how this works. If I live in one city and now find myself in another town because of business or other reasons, does that mean I cannot train in a gym in that town I am temporarily visiting, even if I am a member of the same company of gyms, irrespective of being a local or national member? or is it now becoming my own prerogative to find my way back to my local gym irrespective of the distance?

All things considered, I know that I cannot cost the gym in the visiting city more soap or water when taking my shower, more electricity when using the equipment than in my local gym. There are no reasons that can convince me that there should be a different rate for a local membership versus a national one, except if they can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that a person can utilize two different gyms in different cities at the same time. If not, then this is just another mechanism to steal from people.

Let us pause and think for a second if the regulations to acquire a USA visa were the same as the gym membership rules. Imagine the visa officer saying to you when issuing the visa, "Sir we have issued you with a USA visa however you are only allowed to visit Washington DC and Colorado. Should you wish to visit any other state you must obtain a national visa and that will require extra charges.

You quickly start to realize that your health issue has never really been the sales personnel’s concern because immediately after they get you to sign their contract, they just move on to get other preys. It’s remarkable to see the same individual who took time to convince you to join their health club, now that they have obtained your signature, barely recognize you when they meet you in or outside the gym.

I noticed also that the gym takes your picture for the membership card but I know the true purpose. It is because they don’t want to give your card to anyone else for access. My question is: Why? Why should it matter if my brother and I use the same access card as long as we are not both together in the same gym or any other facility the same time? This is the same as if you barrowed your brother’s bus card as long as the two of you are not in the same bus at the same time.

The worst is to forget to bring your gym card along with you when going to use the gym facilities and that happened to me most of the time. It is an undeniable fact that some of us are not very organized, including myself. There were moments when I have been switching between cars, subsequently will forget to take my card from one car into the other, only to notice that my access card was not in the one that I used on that specific day. Then I would have to drive back home to collect it and return back to the gym, causing my entire schedule on that day to be completely messed up. Please remember that the gym facility needs my access card supposedly to identify me, but I don’t need to identify myself because I know myself, they don’t! which then makes this all ‘’access card’’ ordeal their problem.

When I eventually get back to the gym, the least I expected was to be congratulated for making an effort to return home to collect a piece of plastic for them to use to identify me, but no! I did not get rewarded for compliance. In this particular instance, I returned to find a long queue caused by a trainee arguing with another member who had not also brought his card apparently, they would not let him in because he already exhausted all the other access mechanisms.

Something I found out for the first time as I sat watching the whole scene, waiting for my turn, was the fact that you could use you identification number (ID) to gain access in case you forgot your card; but that option could only be used three times in the row. However, this gentleman could not get in as he had already exhausted all the options. But this guy, did not take no for an answer as he was determined to access the gym no matter what; by the way, this is my kind of guy! Eventually, the manager was called, arrangements were made, and the guy was allowed access into the gym. After that, we all followed.

I know you may be wondering and asking, why these stories, and what is the point? Well, I am glad you asked. The fundamental reason is that people need an awakening. Your life has been on autopilot for far too long.

For example, how many of you go to the supermarket on a public holiday and find yourself buzzing at the gate for minutes expecting the guard to help you and nobody come? and do you want to know why?

It is because it is a public holiday, and most gates in the public places are opened because parking is usually free on that day. But you didn’t pay attention because your mind is on autopilot and at that point, I am that guy behind you, hooting to get your attention, to let you know that the gate is already wide open. Instead of thanking me for awakening you, you get pissed off and show me your middle finger.

Most of you are so used to rules and regulations, you just follow and abide by them without questioning anything. I know this for a fact because I once went to a private gym where having a personal trainer was the only prerequisite. The issue of the plastic identification card was immaterial – your trainer identifies you and you gain immediate access.

I went to this gym for one purpose. To train, and that was what I achieved there. Everything else was mundane. Unlike in all these public gyms where I ended up because I could no longer afford the private facility anymore. This is how I ended up encountering all these kinds of problems.

My conclusion on this matter is that being broke can force you to face and encounter people with small minds. If you are already questioning my thought process, please chill and allow me to take you on this journey. Because I alone know where I am taking you as these are my messes. To those of you who like to criticize someone else’s work after reading just one page as you have access to tweet, think twice!

First, ask yourself if you have ever written anything significant that has helped people. If not, save the airtime that you purchase on special while on a pay-as-you-go contract. Remember no one obliged you to buy this book nor to read it any further. The only intelligent way to respond or criticize any material in this book will be to write your own. Hopefully, by then, you will realize the hard work that goes with it.

Back to the story above, after listening to that guy’s argument at the gym who insisted on gaining access despite not having a card, I realized then that I was not the only person living with this kind of disorder.

I could relate to everything he said that day. Not only that! I got to know about the option of using the identification number (ID) at the gym, should I forget my access card in the future. I regretted all the days I had to return all the way home to get my gym card because I did not have the right information and it had, therefore, jeopardized countless schedules.

Following that incident, I used the biometric system whenever I forgot my card and after every three times in a row, I will swap my card once again just to enable me three more chances to use the ID.

This strategy worked for me perfectly until I found myself one morning in the same predicament. I had no card plus I had already used my ID which could only allow me access three times in a row. I was informed very politely to either go home to fetch my card or buy another one that would give me immediate access.

I was a little bit angry with myself that day because I could hear a little voice of condemnation rising in me. But at the same time, I heard a voice from inside saying, Why are you condemning yourself? You pay for your membership, so why do you feel bad that you misplace your plastic card sometimes? I heard the voice say, What if you always carried your card with you but your membership was not paid up, isn’t that they will still deny you access? Which one is then better?

At that point, it dawned on me that my access to the gym was not based on the plastic card they had issued to identify me; but rather on the money that the gym takes from my account on a monthly basis. From that day, my focus was only on paying for my membership and letting the gym find a way to identify me every time I got there. So, I decided that I was going to pay for another card for the last time but I had a plan in mind.

I planned to leave the card at the gym and use it whenever I got there. That way I wouldn’t worry about forgetting it anymore. To my surprise, I discovered that the gym had a policy of not keeping anyone’s card. So, I asked them, What happens if someone loses his card in the gym? They answered by saying, In that case, we would keep it in the lost and found property box.

To me that sounded ideal because at that moment I decided that I would start losing my card by simply dropping it on the floor every time I left the gym so they could find it and place it for me in the lost and found box where I would go collect it the next time I came to train; and that is exactly what I did.

Every time I went to the gym, I asked for the lost and found card box. I would then pick up my card, swipe it, enter, and do my workout, then lose it again on my way out until the next time. Sometimes, I would lose it just in front of the receptionist’ desk by dropping it right on top of the counter.

That strategy lasted for a while, but just when I thought I had beaten the system, one morning when I got to the gym, I was met by a smiley receptionist who told me that they had scrapped the lost and found box and they would never be able to find my card again for me, even if I lost it on the counter. I immediately understood why the big smile.

But this did not dissuade me. I asked her, What if my card comes here to train alone? Will you let it in? She said there is no way a card could do that. I told her why then I had decided not to carry that piece of plastic for them to identify me with and asked her to open the gate before I jumped over it. She refused and neither did I fail to deliver on my promise. So, for the first time with everyone watching in disbelief, I jumped the gate and proceeded to train as nothing had happened. The adrenalin rush I felt after jumping the gym gate was so great that I continued jumping it a few more times thereafter. I even started to call it my pre-warm-up.

After a few times of jumping the gate, the management of the gym had resolved to start keeping my card at the reception for me. They went as far as writing in the system to all the other branches that they should override the system for me, every time I present myself at the gym, regardless if it was at my local gym or any of their other national branches. So, since then, every time I go to the gym, I no longer had to carry my card. I simply give my name and they let me in.

Back then when I was in the food commodity trade, I was once called by one of my truck drivers who was carrying a perishable cargo, to let me know that he just had a breakdown on the highway. Being a late Friday, I knew that I had to act quickly or end up with a broken fridge full of goods on the side of the road. So, I quickly arranged for our mechanics to go help him as I pushed myself to the scene.

When the mechanics finished assisting him, I jumped into my car and quickly realized my tank was almost empty. Funny enough I realized that I left my wallet in my office. So, I decided to drive to the nearest bank and somehow made it just before it closes. Very excited, I walked in and went straight to the counter, and requested to see the manager.

When the manager showed up, I explained all my predicaments to him, which was basically: I do bank with you guys, and I need to draw some cash to put fuel in my car because I am stuck, but I have no identification on me or card to do it myself, so I need your help. I even added that I could only provide him with my banker’s details should he need to contact her.

I was asked to sit and wait. I did exactly that until someone came out and asked me to leave the bank and go try that game somewhere else. First, I thought it was a joke, but when the guy went on to say that he was calling the police, I knew that I needed to act fast.

The easiest way was just to leave the bank without further arguments. After all, who does walk into a bank to withdraw cash without any form of identification? But because before that incident, I had already experienced the access gym issue, I knew that the bank too had to find a way to identify me whenever I showed up. They were making plenty of money out of me and my business at the time.

So, I decided that I was not leaving that bank without cash. I looked up to the guy and said to him, Sir, I am now increasing my withdraw from a thousand rand (South African currency) to a million rand in cash; and I’m going to double that amount every hour that you keep me there.

Little did I know that the police were already called and they were coming in masses and rapidly. It did not take long until my car outside was encircled and the entire area was placed under police watch.

Remember, this is the year 1999 just 5 years after the apartheid regime had collapsed and the police squad was still predominantly white. So, the idea of an African guy driving a brand-new BMW M3 without registration, just walking in the bank on Friday just before closing hours, with no identification and wanting cash to buy fuel for his car, was just too much of bad ingredients. To make matters worse, all this was taking place in Alberton in Johannesburg.

Within a matter of a second, the entire place was turned into a war zone. People were even speculating that the whole situation may be a hostage attempt. Likely I carried no gun. But when all this was taking place, one inspector of the police had a reflection of checking my car using the disc on the windshield. So, shortly after that, they had my name verified and knew my ethnicity. They then walked into the bank.

They were told my story as I refused to speak any further, still sitting quietly. I heard the same inspector asking if anyone has tried to contact my bank manager to verify my identity. Everyone was like, But! but! but! but eventually but eventually, they did finally call my bank manager.

I will spare you further details of what took place after they have decided to call my manager. But that afternoon, I walked out of that bank with a million rands in cash and was escorted to my office by the same police that was called to arrest me. The following Monday, I received a letter of apology for them failing to assist a client in distress, apparently!

These are some of the little personal victories I have recorded over time, and even though I did not change the whole system, I did, however, manage to stop the system from victimizing me.

The purpose of me elaborating on these three personal experiences above is not to encourage anyone to start living a reckless life but to awaken you and to cause you to remain awake while reading the rest of the materials in this book.

My first example was to highlight how my earthly father continued to show me mercy. His approval of me still stood despite my wrongdoings or weakness, then how much our heavenly father?

In the second and third, I highlight how most of us end up being in a robotic state of mind because of conforming to the laws and the world system without even sometimes questioning their relevancies. Many of us especially believers have become so accustomed to this-worldly ways of identification that we now estrange to the God-given identity. That’s why we refute everything that God says.

God says, You are righteous, we reply, Not even in my dream.

God says, You are complete, we reply, And why am I still single?

God says, You have the identity of Christ, we reply, Why then my passport says Congolese?

People, it is time to AWAKEN! (Rom 12:2)

Chapter 1

Food for Thought

1. Christ is No Longer the Only Way; We Are Too!

Before you scream heresy or blasphemy, allow me first to make my point. Just like you, the first time I received this revelation, I also screamed, Blasphemy! But, has it ever occurred to you that Christ was announced in the Bible as the only begotten Son of God, but later He said: You are no longer slaves because slaves never know what the master is doing, but you do. In other parts of the Bible, it says: Christ has become the firstborn among many brethren.

If you are familiar with the Bible, you should know this. If you don’t, then you need to know the basics before we can engage in this discussion any further; because I can’t teach you things that God Himself should reveal to you. If you haven’t walked your journey with the Lord, chances are you will struggle with some of the revelations that you will find in this chapter, and probably throughout the entire book.

But those of you that are ready, did you know that Christ in His Earthly ministry, performed all kinds of miracles? However, there was one miracle in particular that He did not and could not perform until He had to die first, had to be buried and had to rise again. That miracle was to provide humankind with salvation. Until the above was fulfilled, he could not get any man to be "born again’’.

He had to go through the process of death, burial, and resurrection for the remission of humankind’s sins (forgiveness of our sins), before he could be given all power and authority on earth, under the earth, over the earth, and a name above any other name, the name of Jesus Christ. The Christ was the completion.

There was Jesus the incarnate Christ before the cross, and the resurrected Jesus Christ after the resurrection. In the resurrected Christ, we have become born again a new people. And the book of Corinthians clearly states that Once in Christ, old things have passed away, all things have become new. We are a new creation.

Therefore, we carry the same power as Jesus Christ, because the Bible again says in John 4:17 that, As He (Christ) is, so are we in this world. This verse gives us the right to identification. The question should be, for what purpose was this identification afforded to us, to identify with Jesus’s looks or His nature? Of course, it has been afforded to us to be able to identify with his nature. So, where is Christ currently? Isn’t Christ in us the born-again believer?

If Christ is in us as clearly as it is stipulated in Colossians 1:27, so is His power, His truth, and His light. If He functions in us then we have become a sort of his prototypes. If we become his prototype, then we shall end up becoming his type. If we are the type of Christ, then it’s a matter of time before we become the conduit of His power, the way.

What is better to believe between, believing that I am Christ-like or believing that I am not? If I am not like Christ, why then after becoming a Christian, on one hand, I am compelled to uphold myself to a new high standard found in Christ while on the other, I should continue to consider myself as a mere mortal man? Something is wrong here!

The truth is, once in Christ, Christ has shown me the way too. Believing this way compels me to seek Him even more. Believing this way then becomes to me a reminder for remaining always humble as I undergo training in the school of Christ to reach a place of no return.

Most of the times, we deny this fact because we are too conscious of our weaknesses. We are too conscious of the possibilities of falling short because of our humanity. So, we fear that in case we fail, we may end up smearing the reputation of Christ. But these things, these gifts aren’t physical but spiritual, and, in that realm, we can never fail!

When we read Paul’s writing, we realize that he had reached a level of revelation, where he knew that he and Christ are one so much that even when he prayed, he stopped using the name of Jesus Christ because that would mean he is separate or outside Him.

If we follow the same pattern as Paul did, including our forefathers who grew so strong in faith and the finished work of Jesus Christ, I believe that we too will start reflecting the light that we are to the world. We will become the pointer and the way to so many people around us, slowly becoming the way for the unsaved people of this world.

It’s worth mentioning that, when the Bible calls Jesus as the way, the truth, and life, it does not insinuate that Jesus was a form of passage that leads to God. It simply means that Jesus was the answer concerning the fall of mankind. Jesus was God, so you can’t go through Him to another place. Somehow, we were taught to believe that Jesus was an errand boy for God, that’s not true. Jesus and God are equal and one.

2. Have you Sometimes Wondered if God Still Cares?

Well, you can’t feel too bad because you are not the only one, but one among many. Before I explain any further, I would like to share a little bit about my upbringing. When I look back, I can’t remember the exact time when my parents enlightened me about my transition from childhood to adulthood, nor do I recall a day when they called me up and introduced me to a new set of rules for adults. There’s never been a time when I was informed of things that I was no longer entitled to or a list of things that have changed since entering adulthood.

I just woke up one morning to realize that things had changed around the house. I no longer received the attention I used to get. First, I noticed a change in my diet without my permission and no one took the time to inform me why. Also, certain activities that were usually fun were suddenly restricted and now punishable.

Guess what? My first impression and reaction were that my parents no longer cared about me, which was not true, because they continued to care about me; just differently. They understood I was no longer a child that needed to be babysat all the time or a pet being trained. I was now grown-up ass and ought to be independent.

It was now time for me to use a regular toilet, it was time to sleep quietly in my room at bedtime rather than crying pretending to have seen a ghost or throwing my food on the floor to express my frustration. These were no longer fun activities, but punishable acts. This transition was very hard but with time I realized without it, I wouldn’t have grown.

It is the same with God. I remember when I received Jesus Christ for the first time in my life, it was like the whole galaxy was working for me. Angels were executing my orders, even those I had not given to. There was a series of events that were organized on my behalf and it was fun to see the Divine intervention behind them. I remembered many times threatening God and bang! I had what I wanted! Wow! Splendid!

But one morning, I had a strange feeling that all my angel guardians had vanished. I looked for them and I could not sense any around me. It felt like they were all recalled. The walls that had once prevented me from reaching the cliff’s edge were now removed. Meaning I could jump off the cliff if I wanted to because there was no longer anyone to stop me.

At this point, prayers seemed like they were no longer being answered as they used to be. So, at first, I tried to apply my usual threat to God as I used to. Then, I quickly realize that the threats never even reached the ceiling of my room.

How did I know that things had changed? I quickly remembered my experience with my parents in my transition days from childhood to adulthood. The more I tried to threaten God with an ultimatum like I used to do, the more situations got even worse, even unbearable sometimes. With my parents, I dropped overnight from being the centre of attention to being the centre of confusion. But this time, I was a little bit more prepared because I could relate to something. I also knew that if there was any adjustment to be made, guess what? It was clear that I was the one to make it.

So, what then makes us feel like God no longer cares? Is it maybe because we have entered a transition period where we need to find courage, and He leaves us to take the test or step? Or is it because He can no longer stand us being continually impulsive? Or is it true that God reaches a stage in our lives where He no longer cares?

I searched for an answer in the Bible, and what I found shocked me just like it will shock so many of you. I was led to read John 3:16 over and over until I received the revelation. For God so loved the world and He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Many times, when I heard this verse preached, the emphasis was on the love of God for humankind. But, not once have I heard someone emphasizing the fact that this giving in John 3:16 was also the highest form of caring. This giving was a complete package; He had nothing else to give us after. I realized that whenever we turned back to God to look for more and found Him unresponsive, we conclude that, God doesn’t care.

But have you noticed that whenever God is unresponsive to our cries, many of us return to the same battlefield to face that which once seemed invincible and end up fighting it and yearning for a victory over it? This may seem like God is not caring, whereas He is caring the most by pushing us back into the corridor to fight until we find the exit.

We are so entrenched in a culture where people or our natural parents trade their best care against our good behaviour and oftentimes think God plays the same game. We think He has kept his best care only for a few of us who pray more, fast more, or those who read their Bible daily.

Therefore, we try by all means to do these things which supposedly qualify us to see more of God’s care. And so, we think that when answers still don’t come, we conclude that God doesn’t care anymore. Just as I delayed my growth by thinking wrongly about my parents during my transition period, but quickly realized that my parents did not abandon me. Rather, it was to let me know that I was no longer a child but a grown man that needed to start acting accordingly. We misunderstand God because from the start He gave it all. He cared for once and for all by giving Jesus.

Had they left me in my comfort zone, you wouldn’t have this book in your hands. Though my parents seemed like they did not care, they did. However, their care was not complete because they never provided me with a comprehensive manual that I could follow. Instead, I had to figure out a bunch of things through trial and error, which helped me progress in life. God gives himself through his words and not through things as many of us sometimes expect.

But unlike my parents, God at least gave us a manual to guide us through the journey of life. The Holy Bible, a redemption plan, and the Holy Spirit. He gave us all at once and said, You are set for life. Go out and be like me!

Therefore, in conclusion, I think that when we start questioning ourselves if God cares, that on its own is an attempt to refute our spiritual growth knowingly or unknowingly and it makes no difference because the consequences are the same.

In response to the question I asked earlier, Ever wondered sometimes if God still cares? The answer could be YES or NO depending on how much you know about His character. However, you are right if you feel like He no longer cares. He cared once and for all in John 3:16 and for the entire world.

3. Does it Matter if There is Hell or Not?

Many people believe that there must be hell and many others believe that hell is made up to manipulate people into accepting God into their lives. The question that I always