Legends of Camberia: Finding Phoenix

By Teresa Lund

The dense forest I'd wandered through only days ago was now a barren battlefield...The oldest trees...reduced to burnt Skeletons...such useless destruction... Something writhed inside me, twisting its way up through my soul until it reached my skull and failed escape... I trained my eyes just a little ways ahead to my right, waiting for it

• Language: English
• Publisher: Teresa Lund
• Release date: Aug 31, 2022
• ISBN: 9798985948844

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Legends of Camberia:

Finding Phoenix

by Teresa Lund

© 2022 Teresa Lund

ONE

I spent almost every day as a small child wandering past dangers I never even realized. Momma would send me outside as soon as breakfast was over. Her only real order ever was that I stayed out of the creek… but every single day, no matter how hard I fought against it, temptation won, and I returned home sopping wet to the very same look of amused disappointment on her face.

I remember how I didn’t appreciate her then, always thinking she was so different than me, believing she couldn’t possibly understand what I felt, especially when I became a teenager. She was so calm and reserved and sure of herself. She was the one who planted almost every clever saying I eventually recited to others, though I’d often loathed them when she’d spoken them to me.

It’s always darkest before the dawn…

Pride cometh before the fall…

…I found her tidbits of philosophy annoying more than useful in my youth, but I understood them in adulthood.

What impressed me most about her was her capacity for faith. My scrutiny was boundless, especially in my teens. I would search her face with every snippet of wisdom, scanning for even the slightest doubt, constantly waiting for her absolute conviction to falter or wane…

…but it never did, and I’m glad the endeavor always failed. Even now, I’m not exactly certain it was because she was without doubt, but if her faith was ever challenged, I was grateful for her unwavering dedication to reinforce the premise. She was the reason I dared to believe in anything beyond what I could see and touch. In truth, she was the reason I dared to embrace the newest version of reality.

The days following the fire were chaotic and messy. Senses and tensions were heightened, elevated by the overwhelming intensity of unknowns and unpredictable odds. So many were injured, too many had died, and a feeling of helplessness loomed on the breeze like a foul odor sticks to wet air. The clouds brought rain, and I felt the forest welcome its cooling touch, but the dim sky cast shadows on the little hope that dared to whisper in the background, forcing it into muted tones that were quickly becoming inaudible among the very real threat of future dangers.

As much as I wanted to shy away from the whimpers of pain that filled my ears, I forced myself to stay, to listen, and to begrudgingly accept my responsibility. I hadn’t asked for any of it, but no amount of denial would make it go away. No amount of daydreaming or wishing or refusing to acknowledge it would ease the suffering of the people I was now charged with protecting. Whether I wanted it or not, I was the Empress. I was Reika… and Victoria. I was the only one who could stave off the darkness and restore balance. All that was left was to figure out how…

I remembered collapsing into Fen’s arms. I remembered he laid me down. I remembered he held my hand the entire time I slept. I remembered the warmth of Amaya against me, the smell of Nyra just feet away, and the whispers of concern that tried to keep themselves away from my intensely amplified ears. I’d heard them all, wanted to answer every single one, but couldn’t. Sleep forced itself upon me, and exhaustion silenced me.

As everything faded to background noise, I saw him again… the great black wolf. We were standing at the edge of the water, staring out across a vast ocean. I felt the waves lap at my ankles and the sand shift beneath my toes. I realized my smallness in the face of it.

"The choice is yours, his gravelly voice whispered in my head. The choice has always been yours."

I’ve made my choice, I heard myself say. I made it long ago.

"Do you harbor regret?" he asked, turning and sitting proudly on his haunches, such a beautiful form against the crimson background of sunset.

I considered his question for a moment. Yes, I replied. I regret it all. My heart ached. My soul bled profusely. But I would choose it all over again.

When daylight broke, I found only Fen at my side. He smiled. Good morning, he said softly, raising my hand to his lips and kissing it gently.

Morning, I smiled back. How long have I been asleep?

Three days, he told me.

As if touched by lightning, I shot up and stumbled to my feet. Three days?! Why didn’t you wake me?

How could that possibly be? It had felt like only minutes. I’d only had the one vision and only once. Time, it seemed, had betrayed me yet again. What’s happened? What have I missed?

Nothing really, he told me, wrapping an arm around my waist to steady me. There’s been no news from the wolf scouts but also no advancement or attack from the west.

Please, I asked, shaking off the lag of freshly waking, will you help me find Nyra?

He nodded obligingly and together we walked out into the daylight.

As my eyes adjusted to brightness and my senses returned, I beheld the aftermath of Abigor’s wrath. Burnt corpses of trees and vegetation lay just beyond the borders of the city. Unable to avoid the destruction cast on them, helpless to save themselves, they were unwilling victims of the power the Darkness wielded, sad illustrations of the destruction that might eventually touch us all.

Tears waited behind my eyes, but I refused to let them loose. This was not the time…

I found Caden crouched beside Nyra at the edge of the once dense woods. He looked agitated, and I wondered for a brief moment what she might have said to put that look on his face before I remembered he couldn’t hear her. As we approached, both turned toward me. Caden stood and bowed.

What’s the matter, I asked as I pulled him into a hug, interrupting the formality of his gesture. You look upset?

He didn’t answer. Instead he glared in Nyra’s direction.

"He’s angry with me," Nyra answered for him.

Why?

"Because he knows he’s powerless, and he needs someone to blame."

Can he hear you? I wondered.

"No, she said, but still, he shouts questions at me, detests my silence, and then shouts some more. She cocked her head at him as she continued, Your humans are strange."

I laughed as I turned back to Caden. She says you’re strange, I told him.

His anger shifted to exasperation. I could see he didn’t appreciate my humor.

How is it you can hear her and no one else can? he asked in frustration.

I don’t know, I shrugged, and I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s all I’ve got. She speaks to me in thoughts. They all do.

"It’s because they don’t really want to hear us, Nyra interjected. Humans focus too hard on reason. They’ve forgotten their instincts."

I pondered her words carefully, considering the insinuation. So what makes me different? I wondered.

She looked amused. "Because you are one of us, she whispered. You began here, raised by wolves. Your introduction to the world came untinged by human corruption."

But how? I mused. I’m still human. I wasn’t born of wolves. What happened to my parents?

I remembered my parents, my mother and father who’d raised me. I knew them. I remembered an entire childhood, including my brother. I wasn’t born on Camberia, but I entertained this newest storyline to attempt to make sense of the broken fragments that must somehow be connected.

"No one knows exactly. Her words carried sympathy. We found you in the woods, naked and alone, no sign of humans, and we took you in. You were raised just as any other pup, as one of our own."

Nothing about what she said felt familiar. I remembered growing up in a very different world on a completely different continent. None of those memories had faded. They were still as real as any moment since them. I was certain of it, but Nyra seemed just as certain of her own tale.

I wasn’t born Reika, I confessed aloud to everyone and no one in particular. I wasn’t born Victoria. I’m the Empress because Julia charged me to protect this land, but I don’t yet fully know how. We all have some part to play. Of that much I’m absolutely certain, but truthfully, I’m not yet sure where we go from here.

I searched the faces of my friends for suspicion or anger or resentment, but thankfully, there was none. Nyra sat quietly and allowed the silence to reign.

Without night, there would be no reason to rejoice at day. Without storms, calm would offer no satisfaction. The same has always been true of every contrast in nature. One cannot truly exist without the other, and opposing forces signify the lines between what is, what was, what could be, what should be, and what has yet to be.

Destiny is a peculiar thing. One can fear it, ignore it, or embrace it, but none can escape it. Dwell in darkness or instead seek refuge in the cracks of light that penetrate its veil, it will persist without regard for human emotion.

TWO

My hands were warm and wet, a metallic taste burned my tongue and a sickening smell wrinkled my nose. I recognized the smell… the stench of death, but the taste eluded me. My bones ached as if my body had been thrown against a brick wall. My muscles still shook from the impact. I felt suffocated by a great weight, and I pushed against it until it moved aside.

As I found my feet, I lifted my hands to my face. The deep mahogany of fresh blood turned darker as it dried against my skin. It covered my hands and soaked my clothes, but I didn’t feel for wounds. I knew it wasn’t my blood.

I was learning to accept my strange visions, but I knew I would never find comfort in them. They’d only ever brought foreboding, tragedy and heartache. Why couldn’t they foretell of hope and happiness? Would that be asking too much?

I needed answers, truths that weren’t readily revealing themselves, so I turned my attention to the former King Regent and his daughter. Maybe there was more to be said between us. Maybe there would at least be clues with them.

Austin and James provided my escort, while Caden and Fen tended to the inevitable chaos of the city’s newest refugees. The ‘dungeon’ was several levels below the cathedral. The corridors were well lit and the grounds remarkably clean. It was a far cry from the prison I’d known in Graylen and nothing like the scene I’d expected. Had it not been for the iron bars and stone walls, I wouldn’t even have recogniezed it a dungeon.

I quietly relieved the four guards as we arrived at the prisoners’ cells, but their hesitation to follow my orders was obvious. A sharp look from James quelled them into obedience, and I nodded a thank you in his direction.

Though she’d crawled into the shadows on the farthest wall, I saw Alicia’s face red and stained with tears. She was beautiful, even in her sorrow, her features soft and delicate, her expression broken and defeated. I recalled how I’d wanted to hate her, how something about her had provoked a petty jealousy, but seeing her crumpled on the floor quietly licking her wounds, satiated my envy. I wondered what that said about me.

In the cell adjacent was the former King Regent. Mike stared out at me with defiance, lifting his nose to the sky with an arrogant smirk. My stomach lurched at the sight of him.

I trained my eyes into his soul and searched his darkness. His shadows were more gray than black. Like fireflies glowing and fading on a summer night, tiny twinkles of light still danced in the background of his essence. I wanted them to signify some salvageable hope, but… his eyes conveyed no remorse, his face showed no regret, and I felt no trace of the affection I’d once known for him. I wondered what Julia would’ve thought – of him, of me. Would she have loved him through even this? Or would she be as ashamed as I was? Would she have forgiven him? Would she have wished me to?

Why? My question was simple and broad purposefully. He laughed hysterically, and it ignited my rage, but I held my reaction and waited, refusing to let him visibly provoke me… yet.

Because you are NOT enough, he replied with thick condescension, and now we are all doomed to die.

"It’s you are doomed to die!" I spat back without hesitation, my blood boiling in my veins.

He laughed again. She was wrong about you, and you’re either too stupid or noble or proud to admit it to even yourself. You can’t win. You won’t win, and it’s her fault, he hissed.

I could hear the disdain in his voice, the utter disgust in his tone, and it stoked the fire in my soul. You didn’t deserve her! I let loose with a venomous tone, Narcissist! Adulterer! Liar! She knew what you were! She knew what you’d done and she loved you still. Your contempt for her sickens me!

He didn’t laugh this time, and I hoped my words had nicked him, even if only on the surface. Regardless, it gave him pause, and I continued, "She didn’t surrender. She didn’t give up. Maybe… she gave in. Maybe... she lost herself along the way, but she was so much more than you could ever deserve, and you were too stupid or too stubborn or too proud to see that."

His moment of silence placated me. For a brief second, I was satisfied, and I granted him no further audience. I wanted to preserve a tiny victory for as long as it could last. I turned abruptly and walked away, leaving him to his shame.

Before we left, I looked once more to Alicia, huddled in the shadows of her own cell. I saw something in her darkness, something in her soul I couldn’t explain but understood all too well. As I recognized my reflection, I whispered her pardon to James and walked swiftly on before she could meet my gaze, before he could question the order.

There were no classes or castes in Zaltana. There were respectful gestures and dutiful nods between strangers, an effort to retain some semblance of normal, but there was no division by station or title. The tragedy that surrounded the city had dissolved them, and though it was sure to be temporary, it served to unite at least two countries of peoples with a common purpose.

The animals that joined us in the aftermath were reluctant to share the sacred city with their human counterparts, but that was only fair. While humans could be incredibly compassionate creatures, they were innately self-absorbed and ignorant. Maybe Nyra was right. Maybe the differences were born from a fundamental difference in rearing.

I never wandered without escort upon the insistence of my pack. Caden kept me company most often, but when his duties required him elsewhere, another Rayner would assume his place. It wasn’t by command or even request. They readily volunteered, and though I would’ve welcomed some time to myself, I couldn’t help but inwardly appreciate the sense of security they provided.

Your Majesty, may I speak freely? James asked as we made our daily rounds on the morning of