The Perpetual Journey: Growing a Strong Healthy Relationship

By Mark Sanders

The Perpetual Journey: Growing a Strong Healthy Relationship is a publication by Mark. He states “It took me half of my life to realize everything I needed to know in order to grow healthy relationships my parents taught me growing up; and all I needed was a faith to know Just don’t stop and it will get better because I can me it better every day. A relationship is a journey, one that never really stops but is always changing, moving towards the end where it all works out.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Aug 26, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665565288

Mark Sanders

After working as a healthcare executive and Registered Nurse for 30 years, Mark went back to the front lines of nursing where HE began all those years ago at the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, dropping a six plus-figure salary in the process, and putting his business on hold because he knew it was the right thing to do. Times had changed and after spending time with HIS colleagues, Mark learned a lot more about the busy lives of modern-day nurses and other workers and the sacrifices they give every day. With this, HE decided to start a new company with a focus on helping others find and achieve what is truly important in life. The desire was to make a wider impact on others’ lives not only by caring for others but by creating well-paid jobs and mentoring others along the way. Whether people are wanting to spend more time with a loved one, create precious memories with their children, or do anything that they otherwise struggle to fit into their hectic lives, MRMR is there. With MRMR, our customers can have breathing space and reach their goals effortlessly.

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© 2022 By Mark Sanders. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 08/24/2022

ISBN: 978-1-6655-6527-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-6526-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-6528-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022913409

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my loving parents James and Pat Sanders. They loved me and taught me but sometimes I didn’t listen but they always loved me. And my amazing unconditional brothers Todd and Boyette they never listened – well to me but they loved me. To Steven the one and only but I should have listened. I hope he can still love me or at least forgive me. And the other messed up relationships that never had a chance because I was always looking for the one again. I hope you read this and feel love.

To Ann, Sal, and Silver for support and help editing

To Dr. Jamie Vasquez: Special thanks to Mark’s physician of over 20 years who was there for him when he needed him and helped him find health and peace. Thank you Jamie for saving my life and for loving your patient and your craft enough to see what I couldn’t see.

Special thanks to Bradley S., thanks for reminding me the truth, honesty and believing in another is more important than anything you are an amazing person.

Happily Ever After Is not a fairy tale;

it’s a Choice……..FawnWeaver

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1: How Did We Get Here? On The Brink Of Divorce

Chapter 2: Makin this all work For You

Chapter 3: Change Your View, Change Your Marriage

Chapter 4: Look Backward To Move Forward

Chapter 5: Friends First, Spouses Second

Chapter 6: Yes, Romance And A Healthy Sex Life Are Important!

Chapter 7: Create Family Traditions

Chapter 8: Talking, Not Fighting

Chapter 9: The Incredible Power Of Forgiveness

Chapter 10: Other relationship types, Limerance and Me.

Conclusion

About the Author

References

INTRODUCTION

W hen I was a child, I can’t recall a time when I didn’t see my parents as a single unit. I never thought of them as having lived apart from each other before they were married. My little eager mind never realized they had a separate life and individual thoughts or even a life before me.

That being the case, they naturally (or so I thought) viewed everything the same way – from what to eat for supper to how to discipline my brothers and me.

So, when Dad looked a little odd on one Sunday and told us, remember that I love you, and Mom drove away with us in the car to her sister’s house, I was naturally concerned, very concerned. Just what was going on here? Could there be trouble in my mind paradise?

As I grew older, I observed my parents’ differences on several other matters. It always fascinated me. My young mind couldn’t grasp that they were indeed two individual personalities working toward one common goal: Me, or so it seemed. As you can imagine, my world has drastically changed since childhood, as did my reality of life.

The Core of a Marriage or Relationship

At a young age, I recognized and identified the fundamental underlying purpose of marriage: establishing and cultivating a household. I was a cleverly insightful child, wasn’t I? Please don’t stop reading.

When one of the spouses in the relationship isn’t working toward this common goal, discord and dissatisfaction can’t be far behind. There will be only individual goals and thoughts or just one person with no common purpose.

Unfortunately for far too many couples, one or both partners are focused more on their career, their own needs, or any number of issues other than family and the household. I’m sure this came from the same sense of ME when I was a child but guess what, I grew up.

Now, pursuing a career or individual needs isn’t necessarily bad. It is necessary to keep a marriage healthy. Being an individual is a great unit. However, you lose the relationship in the desire to improve only yourself.

A spouse who is career-oriented, for example, is probably contributing substantially to the financial stability and long-term good of their family. When the focus of the career is so intense and overriding, the spouse ignores the needs of the rest of the family members, forgets the purpose, and problems can start.

Talk About MIA!

Consider the case of a married couple John Guttmann, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and a marriage expert, met through his research. The husband was a doctor who founded his small pediatric hospital.

He poured his heart and soul into this endeavor, to the exclusion of all else. He spent a minimum of 20 nights a month staying all night at the hospital. That just about equates to every weekday of the month! He was focused on that one thing that was not part of them.

But that’s not all. The man became disconnected from his family. He became so disconnected that he couldn’t easily remember how to get home, especially if he wasn’t leaving from a normal position. He would forget what seemed to be essential things; what’s that dog’s name again? Oh, it’s our anniversary? Do I need that life after all?

Granted, this is an extreme example of a spouse missing in action, but it is indicative of a growing trend in the United States for a very long time and even worse. It seems to be supported and portrayed as the best option to live at times. More marriages than ever before are between husbands and wives who work outside of the home. It makes creating a successful marriage more difficult than in the past – but still not impossible.

Giving Up: Increasing Divorce Rates

You are going to fail, and your relationship will end! The first words yelled at you in the crowd after a wedding? Maybe they should be. Because if you take the odds of it ending that way based upon national rates of divorce, then chances are they are probably right.

Sadly, with national divorce rates skyrocketing, such odds are stacked against a marriage’s longevity and certainly against any relationship outside of marriage. The chance that a first marriage ends in divorce before it reaches its 40th anniversary is 67 percent, no probably closer to 70%

You’ve no doubt heard