Joy in the Valley

By Alex D. Scottlynn

Our lives were never intended to be under the obligation of the ways of this world. Even in grief. Inspired by the 84th Psalm and the Valley of Weeping.

It's a constant in life that we are never prepared for. Grieving your loved one may feel like life's most difficult, endless storm. A hopeless valley. The world and people

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Oct 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685567422

Alex D. Scottlynn

Alex is a graduate of the University of Florida, where she studied journalism. She also graduated from the Greenhouse School of Ministry. Alex loves combining her passion for writing and research with her love of Jesus; her goal is to show people His heart. She lives in the southeast with her dog, Mags, and it's rare to catch her without a cup of coffee in her hands.Follow her at WanderAndTheWay.com and Instagram: @FindingAllee.

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Joy

in the

Valley

Alex D. Scottlynn

Joy in the Valley

Trilogy Christian Publishers A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive Tustin, CA 92780

Copyright © 2022 by Alex D. Scottlynn

Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked GNT are taken from the Good News Translation® (Today’s English Version, Second Edition). Copyright © 1982 American Bible Society. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB), Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org. Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.TM. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Public domain.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

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Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Cover design by: Grant Swank

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-68556-741-5

E-ISBN: 978-1-68556-742-2

To those who are hurting, may you find comfort.

In memory of Stephen, Helen, and Stephannie.

Thank you for being the most wonderful family

anyone could ask for and for always pointing to Jesus.

Acknowledgments

I want to thank Auntie Angela for being a great prayer warrior, for reading over some of this, and for her constant encouragement. Also, to Ricky and Olga, Angela, Andy and Faith, Uncle Billy, Ellen and Ed, Val, Eva and Mike, Mags, and so many more family and friends, thank you. I am so incredibly grateful to all of you! You showed me what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus and selflessly opened your homes to me when mine was difficult to go back to.

Most of all, Jesus, thank You for choosing joy for us. Thank You for walking through the deepest grief for mankind so we can have the joy of eternal life through You (2 Corinthians 1:4)!

Chapter 1

Waves of Grief

I sank beneath the waves, and the waters closed over me. Seaweed wrapped itself around my head. I sank down to the very roots of the mountains. I was imprisoned in the earth, whose gates lock shut forever. But you, O Lord my God, snatched me from the jaws of death!

Jonah 2:5–6 (NLT)

There’s this valley. It’s the lowest of lows. If you look straight ahead, you’re caught up in the narrow, winding road. You can’t see what’s around the bend. Yet if you glance at the rest of your surroundings, if you start to look up, you see a glimpse of light. You see the mountain’s path, the rocky climb, and the top where the very best view lies.

Yet the valley is filled with pain and sorrow. And when you’re in that present moment, focusing on your current situation instead of the ultimate goal—the top of the mountain—you grow distraught. You weep.

Sometimes it feels like the mountaintop is a mirage in the desert. It’s this beautiful view. A dream. A dream that feels far out of reach.

You have every right to feel distraught. The darkness can be overwhelming; the pain can be paralyzing. Because the valley that you’re in is one of grief because of loss. One of pain because the one that you are missing is no longer with you. They’re on the upside—the joyful, beautiful side of the mountain. And yet you are here on earth, missing them with everything inside of you. It doesn’t seem fair. It certainly doesn’t feel right.

From where I am, right now, the mountains are surrounding me. I know that there is hope, if only I were brave enough to start the climb. Yet this valley I am in is overwhelming. It possesses every thought; it brings down every emotion, surrounding it with grief. I know if I could just be still enough, if I could just lift my own eyes above my present reality and toward the mountaintop, I might be able to see joy.

Right now, I am living a life I would never have chosen for myself.

When I was a child, if you had told me this would be my story, I would have told you that it was impossible. Then, I was a twelve-year-old. I had my entire family as I knew it. I was loved, cared for, and perfectly secure. I knew joy. I don’t think I realized it then, but I was living in joy. I didn’t stop to think how blessed, safe, and secure I felt. I just was. It was all I knew. I was comfortable and loved. Now, as an adult, I sometimes envy that little girl.

Yet now I am here, in this story I would not choose for myself. If I could write my own story, my immediate family would still be here with me. Cancer and heart failure would never happen. My grief and heartbreak would never happen. Missing those dearest to me would never happen.

Loss is something that others experience, and you feel sorry for and pray for them. Yet when it happens to you, only then do you truly understand the cutting pain of it. The unfortunate mystery of how your entire world has been turned upside down yet the rest of the world still goes on. Grief is never truly understood—it’s a matter that cannot be sympathized with—until you go through it yourself. Yet it’s a process I would not wish on anyone.

Yet I am there. I have been three times in my life. Maybe you are facing grief too. If you are like me, you don’t want to be told how to live out missing your loved one and how to process your grief.

Your loved one was known and loved and is being missed by many. But your grief is yours. Your grief is yours alone. No one knew them as you did. No one loved them as you did. No one is hurting the exact way you are.

I know that there are steps to this grief process. I believe that the stages are legitimate, but we all process them differently. When you lose someone you loved, it seems everyone on the outside has opinions on how you should mourn and the time you should spend grieving. Yet this grief, it is yours alone. It should be a private time, at your pace, in your own way, without the pressure of outside viewpoints.

There is no precise way to get over losing someone you love. Whether they are one day old or ninety years old, whether they were in the picture of perfect health, and it was an accident, or it was a longsuffering disease—no age is a good age. No time is a good time. No matter how much time passes, you will never stop missing them or thinking about them. No matter what outside voices tell you and how people advise you, the way you loved someone and the way