The Great Third World Knicker War

By Stuart Taylor

Second floor tour Eiffel around a big oak round table sit Eisenhower King Cnut King Arthur James the first Elizabeth the first Sir Field Marshal Bernard Law Montgomery Lady Jane Nicholasses I and II St Nicholas Stanley Proudfoot Field Marshall Erwin Rommel Brigadier Blinkinstopp Major General Johnny Walker Nelson Higginsbottom and Aphrodite.
They all eat oranges and sign in turn.
The great peace treaty.
Seven white doves are released peace at last.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Sep 11, 2022
• ISBN: 9781728375250

Stuart Taylor

Hi, My name is Stuart Taylor and I write 'The Austin Chronicles' adventure stories. My books are like the stories I loved as a boy. The Austin Chronicles are full of computers and mechanical things like cars, motorbikes, and submarines and flying machines and simple fantasy-scientific themes. My books are fast-paced and although intended for children, I'm always amazed at how many adults tell me they enjoy them too.Happy reading and very best wishes,Stuart Taylor

Book preview

© 2022 Stuart Taylor. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  09/09/2022

ISBN: 978-1-7283-7526-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-7525-0 (e)

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Contents

Clifton Bristol England.

Gaelic Cniogahri

Field Marshall Irwin

20 Grand Slam winner

Hickory Dickory Dock

The End

Endnotes

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Clifton Bristol England.

Colonel Blinkinstopp marches up the Worrall Road to see Lady Jane’s white bloomer on a washing line all eleven pairs of them he swags along with his? SPCU a brigade of SAS and marine commanding behind him in the vicinity is Nicholass after women’s knicks off their washing lines bagpipes play.

‘Attention lads this is a serious case of bloomer theft we are here to protect Lady Jane’s bloomers from this black-guard.’

They scale down the steep wall all 1,100 of them into the back garden on rope ladders and grapevine irons. They take off their trousers in case of the unexpected and accidents they take up all positional.

But, soon all eleven bloomers go missing. On the downs is roving reporter Theresa O’Bracess Colonel Blinkinstopp asks for a situational report. It is not good within the last 3.5 hours three knicker lines have been stolen amounting to 52 in all. This is too much for Colonel Blinkinstopp who orders his men back to Colchester to where the Colonel of Intelligence has said the knicker thief has gone to. Night falls it is midnight at this moment he is trying to get away from a backyard washing line when a dog close by barks at the full moon so he goes up a tree but his trousers fall down revealing Union Jack ‘Y’ fronts.

At the wreck, the physical and mental wreck of Colonel Blinkinstopp Colchester smiles from the nearest pub.

His brigade is at attention ‘Cherry’s knickers are about to be stolen, and offender has spots and is camouflaged. He has escaped over a national border’ they all dive into the bushes.

‘No need for any action chaps as now Cherry is knickerless’ his brigade recovers their ‘Y’ fronts and march back to barracks

The Sixteenth Airborne Division and the Second Parachute Divisionals with immediate effect take over orders - ‘Beware! The phantom thiever is larger than at large. He is now in Turkey and has seventy visas and is expected to fly back to Blighty the 2nd Parachute Regiment attack before sunlight the knicker thief lines. New commander the right honourable Terrier Allsop comes in last. A defence of Bristol City begins. Miss Knickerless Elastic stands by her back door spade in hands.

Draw back to base & no withdrawal commands Terrier Allsopps Garterless.

By the river avow they dig in trenches and make a stand back sides later at No. 33½ Canterbury Road (Clifton) a planned night escape by Nicholass the knicker thief proceeds up a tree a dog barks then howls to the moon descending in great alarm as he escapes. Miss Knickerless Elastic as his trousers fall down he gets in through the a door a swaggled bag stuck to his ‘Y’ fronts.

Captain Furret-A-Few draws up his draws and daily orders to inspect the third knicker line into the centre of Bristol but forgets to include Lady Jane who is in command so she sends him a pink racket which he fails to see in time his headaches Dr Allweather prescribes mandarins given to him by Rommel they send him into El Stasty’s arms who is most delighted so Captain forget a few orders his companions to attack and encircle the downs near Shead Park he lays down barbed wire and digs in getting supplies of fried pancakes with marmalade and maple syrup in a road in western France.

Sgt Merrybright finds Rommel in the back of his Mercedes Benz automobile piled around him are mandarins Clementines and Jaffa oranges, Rommel is having hallucinations guesses the Sgt as he notices them in his eyes the car is in a ditch then Rommel speaks incoherently in German, Sgt Merrybright radios Sir Field Marshal Bernard Law Montgomery Sir he says In the boot are three orange suitcases do you want me to open them?

Yes do so at once! I will send Captain Haylock

In the suitcases are labelled the sources of the finds: Queen Mary’s remaining smalls, Lady Jane’s et al.

An hour later, the captain arrives in a chieftain tank followed by a brew sun carrier.

Load the cases into the carrier the captain orders.

We’ll get Rommel’s car going and take him back to HQ, he will be flown back to Blighty

Wing Commander Terrier Allsopps hears that Rommel has hidden an orange suitcase full of missing labelled underthings under Charlemagne’s throne in Aachen Cathedral. He takes a platoon and soon finds it hidden behind an old oak carved veneered panel. It has hundreds of new silky thing-me-bods belonging to Cleopatra Boudicca and all the queens through history. Charlemagne is not