Justice for NeKeisha: A Father's Pain

By Kalvon Hawkins and S.L Jackson

A Father's Pain is a True Crime novel about the life of Kalvon Hawkins. The tragedy of losing a teenage daughter, mixed up with police corruption could cause anyone to give up. But not Kalvon, after fighting for years, the result was justice for NeKeisha. Enter the thoughts of a man dealing with the worst possible thing that a father could endure.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Sep 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9798986686714

Book preview

Chapter One

SHATTERED MEMORIES

They say time heals all wounds." I really don’t think so. Do you know how hard it is to put a puzzle together with a piece missing? It’s impossible. It can’t be done.

Charles, on July 24, 2011, you wrecked my family. A family that was strong. A family that was whole.

After killing NeKeisha, my family broke apart and hasn’t been right since. You killed Keisha and my 13-year-old son watched his big sister die. My oldest son left the house and hasn’t been back since. Me and Janice grew apart, because of depression and anger. Testing our marriage.

Charles, you are a menace to society. Throughout this whole trial, you’ve showed no remorse, even laughing in court like it’s funny. You, young man, have a black heart.

After killing Keisha you didn’t get better. You got worse. Adding more charges to your record.

Robbery Causing Bodily Harm to Another

Criminal Confinement

Armed with Deadly Weapon

Pointing Firearm at Another Person

Criminal Gang Activity

Escaping

Drugs

You should’ve been incarcerated.

Charles, you chose to be the judge, the jury, the executioner in my baby girl’s life.

Charles, your family hasn’t lost you. They can come visit you in jail, talk to you on the phone, still take care of you by putting money on your books. We no longer have that luxury.

Charles, I’m going to be in your life forever because every time you go up for parole, modification or whatever, I’m going to be there. I’m going to get it denied. So, you’re going to see me for the rest of this life.

You picked the wrong kid to kill and the wrong father to have to deal with.

You need a life sentence, just what you gave Keisha and my family."

Those are the words I spoke on Wednesday, November 1st, 2017, at the sentencing of Charles Gerron.

Was that the hardest thing in the world a father could go through? I often sit back and think about it all. I remember every detail like it was yesterday, the day I heard the guilty verdict for the man who murdered my only daughter, NeKeisha Nicole Hodges-Hawkins. We called her Mooka Monster, but NeKeisha was the sweetest person I’d ever met.

When the judge read the guilty verdict, it was silent in the courtroom. Janice and I were holding each other’s arm and as my knees buckled, I almost fell back. I was relieved, the job was done, our families begin to cry with us. How could I forget the day, Tuesday September 26, 2017. It was my 43rd birthday.

Kalvon, go get Mario from over round Renee’s house! Grandma Lillian yelled from the house as I sat outside on the porch. Boy you hear me, go get Mario!

Yes mama. Mario was my little brother; he was over his sister’s house. Renee was his sister on his dad’s side of the family, but we all were family. Renee didn’t live far so I hopped on my scooter and headed over there. WOW! is all I was thinking as I arrived at the house. There she was, sitting outside. The cutest girl I’d ever saw in my life. Walking toward the house to go inside, I waved and she spoke, Hi.

Mario, who is that? I asked.

Janice.

Janice who?

I don’t know, Janice!

We both erupted in laughter as Renee overheard and interrupted, Don’t worry about who she is, she’s not over for you. Janice and I passed as she entered the house and I exited, we exchanged smiles and that was it. Mario and I jumped on the scooter and went back home. It was 1991, the summer had just begun. After that day it took a while for Janice and I to cross paths again. Junior year was approaching and little did I know how much life was about to change.

Boy you’re 17 years old with a baby on the way, do you hear me Kalvon, a baby! Grandma Lillian spoke in an angry tone. This is serious, you have your whole life ahead of you. What did Shantel’s parents say?

Her mom and grandmother are saying we have to get married Grandma, I’m not getting married to her!

Just like that, what was supposed to be a summer thing turned into my oldest child Kalvon Jr. The nine months before he came were hectic. Shantel and I never agreed completely and we spent most of our time fighting. Besides doctor’s appointments, we didn’t speak much. In school, she would come to all of my classes to start trouble. Those were definitely hard times.

In the beginning of 1992, Jamie Hodges transferred from Laporte High School to my school, Elston High School. Everybody called Jamie, Jinx, and I was Frost. Turns out Jinx became one of my best friends. We acted a fool together in school. Always getting kicked out of class and punished with in-house suspension. But now school was out, it was the summer of ’92 and time to wild out.

We did what most teenage boys do- enjoy the mischief! Wasn’t much going on in Michigan City, Indiana, so we hit every beach, mall, neighborhood, etc. Whatever it was, we were there. All of us: Dequan Metcalf, Derrick Sutton, Kenyatta and Kwasi Mitchell, Curtis Anderson and Jinx. Tonight, we were all excited about the county fair and it would be a night to remember.

As we stood in a long line for the ‘Zipper’ ride, Dequan asked, Are y’all sure you want to get on this? Man, we just ate all that pizza, I’m not too sure about this one just yet. Dequan was right, we did just leave Godfathers Pizza and the last thing I wanted to do was throw up. We all felt the same. Just then the ‘Zipper’ stops, the doors open and there she is again. We locked eyes, it was her, Janice.

Besides in passing, we hadn’t saw each other much since last summer. We never spoke or anything, but I thought of her often. Janice walks over to me, puts both her hands on my cheeks, pulls me closer to her and kisses me.

Dang Frost, you going with Janice now? Kenyatta yelled from the back of the line.

Frost, I ain’t know you had it like that! Kwasi added. Kenyatta and Kwasi were brothers and most people thought they were twins because of how close they were.

Not only was I not dating Janice, but I barely had a real conversation with her since our first-time crossing paths. Now she just walks up and kisses me. I blushed from the embarrassment.

Umm, hey Janice, how you been? That was about all I could think of. My heart raced as I tried to gather my words. I felt my palms sweating and becoming shaky. I was never nervous when it came to girls but Janice was special. Then a familiar voice broke me out of the euphoria I was locked in.

Frost, I know you ain’t just kiss my baby sister?

Baby sister? I thought as I turned to the left, locking eyes with Jinx.

Your baby sister? Janice is your sister?

Yeah, how could you not know that? Jinx replied as I stood there with a look of shock on my face. I couldn’t believe it; this whole time Jinx and I were running around the city acting foolish and I’m the only one who didn’t know Janice was his sister. What a family, I got my best friend and the love of my life in one house.

Nobody ever told me, I mean you never mentioned it! I said with a grin, focusing all my attention back on Janice. Looking into my eyes she spoke in her soft tone.

Hey Frost, how have you been?

I been ok, yeah I been ok. Again, I was at a loss for words. The mood changed and everybody around just burst out in laughter. I reached for her hand to let her lead the way. Tonight, at the fair, Janice and I were on our own.

Kalvon whatever you do, just never lie to me, ok? You never have to, it’s never a reason to.

"Why would I ever lie to you?

So, is there anything you want to tell me now? Think about that before you answer, don’t rush.

I thought before I spoke again. I had to make sure I said the right things to her. Well, um is there anything you’d like to know?

She looked around and I could see a twinkle in her eyes from all the bright lights at the fair. She turned to me while laughing and asked, Why do they call you Frost? I laughed too because that wasn’t the question I was expecting. They call me Frost because of my grey eyebrows and this grey patch right here on my cheek. I pointed as we both continued to laugh. Out of all the questions in the world, that’s what you wanted to know?

That’s something that I definitely wanted to know. Janice was beautiful. I couldn’t believe she just walked up and kissed me in front of everybody. Right then, I knew she was fearless and perfect for me. I also couldn’t believe she was Jinx’s little sister, this whole time I was thinking about her, and she was right under my nose. It’s a small world.

That night at the fair was one of the best times of my life. We walked, talked, told each other our goals and dreams. We made plans to see each other the next day. In that moment, I think we both realized we’d be together forever.

Meet me at Renee’s house tomorrow. We can hang out some more, Janice whispered in my ear as she hugged me.

Ok, what time?

About five in the evening, don’t be late.

And just like that she was walking away from me. The thought of seeing Janice more gave me something to look forward to. We spent every day together and had plenty of good times. Now the summer was coming to an end and it was time for school to start back up. Senior year was here and in just a few weeks, I’d be entering my last year of high school.

I heard the phone ringing and it seemed like it wouldn’t stop. I glanced over at the calendar with sleep still in my eyes. It was Friday, August 28, 1992. Grandma Lillian was yelling at my room door, Kalvon, baby get up! Shantel bout to have the baby, get up boy! I let her words register in my head, as I heard them play back in slow motion, SHANTEL BOUT TO HAVE THE BABY! I leaped to my feet; I didn’t know what to do first.

Ok, ok Grandma. Ok, I’m up!

Shantel’s mom told me they were heading to the hospital. She said I could ride with them but I only had 15 minutes to get to their house. I was in the best shape of my life so sprinted there in no time. Just as I arrived, they were loading Shantel into the van. As I helped, no one spoke a word. Tension was in the air for the entire ride to the hospital. Once we arrived, they headed to the delivery room while I sat alone in the waiting room.

While sitting, I noticed an old man looking over at me. He must have known I was nervous.

Hey young man, who do you know that’s having a baby here? he asked.

I am sir. I replied.

You look like a kid yourself. I’m here with my daughter, this is her second baby. She’s much older than you are though.

I’m a senior in high school this year. This is my first kid.

Let me give you some advice to save yourself some trouble. If you’re not going to be with the mother, they are going to threaten you with child support. Just go down to the courthouse yourself and tell them you want to put yourself on child support. That way you tell them how much you can afford. It’s going to save you time and trouble. Good luck young man.

Just as he finished speaking, the nurse came into the waiting room.

Kalvon Hawkins? She looked around to see if it was either me or the older gentleman. Kalvon! She said again.

Yes, that’s me, I said standing up and clearing my throat.

You can come see your healthy baby boy now. And just like that, I was a father. My senior year of high school and I had a full plate. School, work, Little Kalvon and Janice. The year of 1992 was shaping up to be a surprising one with more to come.

You should tell her Kalvon, I’m scared to. You know she’s going to be upset. You tell her!

It’s your mom, you tell her. I’ll worry about telling my family. I’ll even tell Jinx but telling Mrs. Hodges your job! I was serious when I said it, but we both laughed. Janice was already great with Little Kal and she always had a motherly care for him. Plus, she completely understood what was going on with Shantel and I so she never let it bother her. I was dedicated to her; she knew and everyone else did too. Shantel was never a threat at all.

By the time we reached Janice’s house we both were nervous. I mean Resse knew already; she was there when Janice tossed the positive test on my books as I was studying. We walked in the house while Jinx and his mom were talking. Entering the living room, we overheard the conversation between Jinx and Mrs. Hodges but neither of us paid much attention. Suddenly the conversation took a turn as Mrs. Hodges spoke.

By the way we’re pregnant! said Janice’s mom.

Who’s pregnant? Jinx asked with a look of confusion.

Your sister Janice, she’s pregnant. Looks like she’s about five months along. Janice, you are pregnant, right? Why didn’t you say anything? Why am I the last one to know?

Janice and I stood in shock as her mom made her way over to Janice, gently rubbing her stomach.

Man, if my dad was here, he would kick my ass cause Janice is pregnant, Jinx replied.

Your dad? I asked. Now I was the one with a look of confusion on my face. All this time I’d been around Janice, Jinx and Resse but no one ever mentioned their dad. Jinx could tell I was confused.

Yeah, our dad. Everybody has one, how else you think we got here? Jinx was trying to lighting up the mood. He was in a bad car accident a few years ago. He’s been in a coma ever since. I turned to embrace Janice, wondering how we never talked about this. As we hugged, I realized it wasn’t as hard to tell her mom as we thought. Well, her mom told us and we just agreed.

A few weeks later Mrs. Hodges asked if I could take a ride with her and Janice. We arrived at what appeared to be a hospital or a nursing home. I looked at Janice, Babe, where are we?

This is where my dad’s been since his accident. I guess mama thinks it’s time for you to meet him.

As we entered, Janice made a b-line for the rest room. It was just Mrs. Hodges and I. We walked in the room and I saw her dad laying down. Outside of not speaking, his eyes were open and he seemed to be alert. Mrs. Hodges explained that even though he was in a coma, he could still move around and know what’s going on. He was just unresponsive. I didn’t want to meet him like that but I really didn’t’ have a choice. Mrs. Hodges started talking to him and everything seemed normal. Then Janice walked in the room with her stomach poking out.

Mr. Hodges, Janice’s father, started breathing hard, moving around and seeming uncomfortable. Instantly, it looked as if he wanted to jump out of that coma to do something to me. I decided to walk out of the room. I understood that this was no way to find out your daughter was pregnant. I made sure Janice and her mom were ok, then I headed for the hallway. Sadly Mr. Hodges passed away on 7-12-93, a week before NeKeisha’s due date.

Both families were excited about the new addition to our lives. It made me think about my real mom, Inez. By now, we didn’t care for each other much. Inez picked her husband and their kid over us. Grandma Lillian is who I considered Mom because she raised us. When Inez left, she took on me and my brothers: I’m the oldest, Phil is in the middle and Mario being the youngest boy. I loved my other siblings from Inez but she never felt like a mother to me.

It made me think about my dad also. Neither of my paternal parents took care of me. I’m the creation of Inez and a man named Chester Hawkins. I knew of him growing up; however, our relationship was non-existent. At the time of my birth, Inez was dating a man named Sam Jones. He was there in the waiting room the day I was born. In my eyes, he is my dad. Sam and Grandma Lillian are my parents, that’s who raised me. The thought of Sam raising me always let me know I had to be there for all my kids.

Inez just left us with Grandma Lillian one day. She said she was going on vacation. Turns out she moved to Austin, Texas, got married and had my little sister Tiffany. Then one day she pops back up and takes Me, Phil, and Mario back to Austin. It was my 6th grade year; I went to T.A Brown Elementary. Every day I would send Grandma Lillian a letter, telling her how much we wanted to come home. I never had a stamp on them, till one day the mailman put a stamp on one of the letters. Grandma Lillian made sure we got back to Michigan City. Next time I seen Inez, Little Kal was on the way to be born.

July 19th, 1993 was Keisha’s due date. Janice went on with her regular daily routine, no pains, cramps, or nothing. We were just playing the waiting game. Waiting is what we did, a full week and sometime later the doctors had us come to the hospital so they could induce her labor.

It was July 27th when we checked into the hospital. I was nervous, I mean I already had a son, but I didn’t have the experience of seeing him born. This was different, this was out of love. Mrs. Hodges and I were there with Janice the whole time. And that’s what it took, a lot of time. At 3:04 am Wednesday July 28th, 1993. 15 hours from when we first got to the hospital, NeKeisha Nicole Hodges-Hawkins was born. I held her while looking in her eyes, I thought, "I can’t wait to spoil her, and WOW