All the Mountains in Montana

By Red L. Jameson

Jac Madsen Thorn has been a little in love with Roselyn Standing Deer since the first lecture she gave him ten years ago. He’d been the new Danish hired hand for her mother’s farm and had been warned of Rose’s “bossiness.” Only, Jac knows Rose’s secret: she’s a born leader. She’s assertive, not bossy. She’s usually smarter than everyone in the room, even if she tries to hide it. Which makes him fall for her more and more over the years, as well as know that she’s out of his league.

Rose’s lifelong goal was to make a couple billion then. Give. It. Away. The giving away part was a secret—something that would finally make Lily, Rose’s mom, proud of her. On the cusp of revealing her dream, Rose’s mother passes away suddenly, changing everything. Awash in grief and unfinished business, Rose decides to go on the world trip Lily had spoken of just before her death. And takes Jac with her.

It's a dream come true for Jac to spend time with Rose alone, though he never could have imagined being in Israel, Korea, and Mongolia. But he’s not sure what to do when she starts looking at him with heat burning in her dark eyes. He’d be taking advantage of her grief if he let her kiss him, right? Or could she possibly be falling for him as hard as he has for her? Through painful loss, can love be found?

The mountains in Montana are known for their beauty and ferocity—delicate orchids nestled next to the black sooty remains of a forest fire. Grief is a lot like a Montana mountain. No matter the darkness, there is light, there is life. And there is love.

All the Mountains in Montana has a woman billionaire whose plan is to give away all that money, years of mutual pining, a lot of carbs!, and a sunshine Scandinavian man who craves to share all his beams with the grieving woman of his dreams.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Red L. Jameson
• Release date: Oct 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9780463070000

Red L. Jameson

Red L. Jameson lives in the wilds of Montana with her family. While working on a military history master’s degree, she doodled a story that became her bestselling, award-winning romance, Enemy of Mine, part of the Glimpse Time Travel Series. After earning her gigantic master’s—the diploma is just huge, she couldn’t stop doodling stories, more Glimpse stories—because she couldn’t get enough of hunky Highlanders and buttoned-down Brits—and other stories, a paranormal romance series and a contemporary series, which grew into the pen name R. L. Jameson, under which she writes cerebral and spicy erotic romance. While working on yet another master’s degree—nowhere near as giant as the first, she wrote her first women’s fiction novels. But no matter which genre she writes, her novels always end with a happily ever after.She loves her readers, so please feel free to contact her at http://www.redljameson.com

Book preview

Chapter One

A picture of a watercolor painting with a scenic mountain and a few trees

Roselyn Shúa Standing Deer giggled as her phone rang again, seeing her mother’s number pop up on the screen. They’d just hung up less than a second ago. Rose knew Lily wanted to talk about something specific, but in their previous conversation Lily had stuck to the weather and the latest episode of Queer Eye and how much she wanted to meet Jonathan. Rose agreed. Meeting Jonathan would be fantastic and what he did with hair was truly miraculous.

Since Lily had gotten her second stent, their mother and daughter relationship had turned a corner. Lily was finally, finally reaching out more—properly communicating. Would wonders ever cease. Though Lily had eventually gotten comfortable asking Rose for money to help with the family farm, all other matters had been off limits. Until recently. Lily was now asking for help with just about everything, which Rose was more than happy to give. It was far better than before when Rose would have to guess what Lily might need—sometimes resorting to asking Rose’s aunties and Lily’s friends—then forcing that help on her. Her mother was beyond stubborn. That particular apple didn’t fall far from the tree, though.

Yes? she said theatrically. Is this my mother calling yet again?

I don’t want to burden you. I’ll call back at another time.

Mom, you know I’m kidding.

I’m actually never sure when you’re kidding, honey.

Rose’s mood went from sunshine silly to cloudy sour. Maybe that relationship-turning-a-corner thing wasn’t really happening. God, she loved her mom, but would they never see eye to eye, would she never see the real Rose?

But she swallowed down the resentment. I’m just kidding, Mom. I swear. She tried to make her always scratchy voice sound calm. Be a bubbling brook, she thought, a peaceful brook. Laney, one of her best friends, had told her about meditation and guided visualization exercises that might give Rose serenity. So far, it had given her a headache, but she would keep trying for fucking tranquility, even if it killed her. What’s up?

Rose was pretty sure she already knew what was up. Lily was lonely. No matter if they had problems communicating or seeing eye to eye, Rose would move heaven and earth to get back to the farm and hang out with her mom. She knew time was precious.

The doctors kept warning Rose that something was very wrong with Lily’s heart. She has a diseased heart, her cardiologist had said then tried for less medical jargon, though Rose profoundly understood already. Her heart is very sick. So Rose knew, goddamnit. Deep in her bones, in the marrow, she knew she had to take every opportunity to be with Lily.

But earlier this week, she’d returned to New York City from Montana to finalize her life’s goal, a secret she hadn’t even confessed to her best friends, let alone Lily. Not yet. As she glanced around her floor to ceiling glass walls and windows—cold glass and cold steel at every corner—seeing the small army she employed for her real estate development company, she wondered about giving up and telling everyone, especially her mother, that this small army, this wealth she’d accumulated wasn’t for her. But for her tribe. Every penny was going back to her Apsáalooke (Crow) Nation. There was enough for other nations in Montana too, including the tribes not federally recognized.

And she would put some money aside, enough for her and Lily to be very comfortable on the farm. So Lily could be pampered, like Rose had dreamed of doing for her mom since she was a little girl and viscerally knew her mother had sacrificed so much for her—sometimes, putting herself in harm’s way so Rose never knew what it was like to be slapped by her father but helplessly watched as he would slap the nearest target: Lily.

Rose had become a billionaire years ago, it was true. In a career known for its exclusivity, she’d shouldered her way into real estate development. She’d fought for every cent. So she’d changed her lifelong goal of making a billion and giving it away, to making two billion. But she was $20,000,000 short. And that twenty mil was an elusive fucker. However, Rose was working on a deal—a strip mall in New Jersey, she could buy, renovate, and turn around and sell in just a few months. That is, if the deal went through. Numbers had been discussed and crunched. Negotiations. Rose had been buying land and buildings, renovating them, then selling them for a decade and a half, and she felt in her gut that the deal was close.

So she held off from telling Lily about the goal, about being so close to achieving her dream. But she couldn’t wait to tell. Maybe, just maybe, her mother would finally be proud.

Lily took a shaky breath and Rose cringed, listening intently for signs of physical distress and not just the emotional distress that Rose accidentally brought with her everywhere she went. She didn’t mean to be so…in your face. Ironically, both Charli and Laney, Rose’s best friends, were two of the most soft-spoken, shy, and sweet people in the world, and she’d always secretly hoped some of their sweetness would rub off on her. Oh, Charli and Laney always said Rose was sweet. But she knew from the cut-throat deals she made, from the way she couldn’t restrain herself from being a tad too brutal with the truth, from everything, that sweet she was not.

She was okay with that. Usually. But for Lily, she wanted to be. She wanted to give her mother everything she could possibly want and more.

After the big inhalation, Lily coughed, which made Rose cringe more, but finally her mom said, I…I was thinking about taking a trip.

A trip, huh? Rose asked, hoping her voice oozed sunshine again.

Yes. Lily timidly continued, I want to learn where bread came from and how people from all over the world make it. I want to start at the Fertile Crest, maybe Israel, and learn how wheat was cultivated. Then I want to move on to other places—I don’t know—maybe Mongolia. Shaobing is a Mongolian sesame flat bread. Amazing, right?

Amazing. Rose tried to inject even more sunshine, though clouds were rolling in, both literally over the New York skyline and for this conversation.

I don’t know if I’d do anything with the things I learn, Lily said. I don’t think I need to change our recipes. Already, our bread is selling…well. She was referring to Lily’s Bread, a company Lily had started with her right-hand man, Jac, the hired hand for the farm. Jac had switched Lily’s barley farm to winter wheat. Then there’d been the mill that Rose had bought for Lily, which had also been Jac’s idea to make the flour on the farm rather than pay some company to do it at elevated costs. There’d also been the added costs of the silos for storage. Then Lily had started to play around with different recipes, selling at the farmer markets around Hardin, Montana, which hadn’t been hugely profitable until Jac had taken the bread back home to Denmark. Then Lily’s Bread had exploded. They could hardly keep up with Scandinavian demand apparently.

Lily was talking about breads from around the world, then finished by saying, This…this is what I want to do with what little time I have left.

Rose hated being reminded of her mother’s ill heart, even though she constantly thought of it herself. Her ribs ached.

Still, this did not sound like her mother. Like usual, it sounded suspiciously like Jac. Jac Madsen Thorn—that man! In the decade since he’d been hired, he’d changed everything at the farm. He was very Danish, very huge, very annoyingly handsome in a blond bearded kind of way, if you like that kind of thing, with very glittering blue eyes. He’d converted all of Lily’s diesel-guzzling tractors and the combine, even her ancient Ford pickup, to biodiesel and electric. He’d built solar panels for the farm and had enough electricity to give away to the neighbors. He would devote one field, sometimes more, to planting the Three Sisters—squash, corn, and beans. The Three Sisters were known in Native American communities, not Danish. Rose knew that he did that for Lily and the tribe, giving away whatever he and Lily didn’t use. 

Yes, obviously the man was a saint. And super smart. And infuriatingly attractive. And really good at ensuring that Lily’s once failing farm thrived.

But that was Rose’s job, for crying out loud. That was what Rose had been trying to do for…forever. But in swept Jac, probably with a stupid cape, and he’d saved everything. He was obviously, also, insufferable.

Rose held her tongue though. She and Lily had had enough disagreements about Jac.

That sounds fun, Rose said, knowing she was going to call Jac right after she got off the phone with Lily to give him a piece of her mind.

You don’t sound like you think it would be fun.

Rose cleared her voice, trying, once again, for a bubbling brook on a sunny day. Honestly, Mom, that sounds wonderful. A trip all over the world? That…holy cow—she censored her swear words when around Lily—that would be marvelous. Israel, Mongolia—

I want to go to Korea, Lily said, try some bao buns. Go to other places too.

Israel, Korea, Mongolia—You know I would love that.

Oh. Lily sounded either disappointed or sad, Rose couldn’t tell. Does that mean…do you want to come too?

Rose was taken aback. Did Lily, less than a month after getting her last stent, think she was going on this big trip alone? Well, she obviously didn’t want Rose to go. For a solid second Rose didn’t know what to say, trying desperately to not blurt out whatever was swimming through her head and the hurt in her heart. But she didn’t win that fight. Was Jac going to take you on this world trip?

No, Lily said, sounding less timid now. Well, I haven’t asked him yet. I was calling to see if you’d fund the trip and then Jac and I could go. But if you want to go too, that would be okay, I suppose. But I know you’re not as interested in bread. I didn’t want to bore you with this.

Bored? Going to Mongolia and be bored? Or Korea? Or anywhere? Rose wouldn’t be bored and she was pretty certain Lily knew that. Rose loved exploring this amazing planet of theirs. She was also pretty certain Lily knew that too.

But then again, it seemed Lily didn’t know Rose. She always wondered if anyone knew her and felt that with a deep ache in her chest, like someone had scooped out her heart with a melon baller.

Further, how was she not supposed to be jealous of Jac? Rose was a single child and used to what little attention Lily could give her. Growing up, Rose’s father, Ted, had apparently needed a lot of attention being a grown-ass man and all. Ted was just bad news, which was something to come to that realization about your own father—again, the melon baller scooped more of Rose out and threw it away. He’d been abusive and mean. Rose had felt so much relief when he finally left, she hardly felt grief when, shortly after he’d abandoned his family, she got the news of an aneurysm that took his life. She’d only been seventeen.

And now Lily paid most of her attention to Jac. At first, Rose had wondered if he was some seducer of older women, trying to swindle Lily from what little money she did have, or trying to swindle the farm away. But Jac was younger than Rose by a couple years, and after reluctantly meeting him, she realized he thought of Lily like a second mother. And that had hurt—the melon baller really going to town on her chest.

Lily was her mother, though their relationship was so complicated that it would make Rose stop in her tracks and cry. Still, Lily was hers, damnit.

Rose inhaled and thought even harder about being that fucking bubbling brook, to sound like water over rocks, like a spring meadow. Fuck and shit and damnit, though. She sighed. Of course, she’d fund the trip. But out of her mouth came, Would your doctors let you travel that much, Mom?

Lily hated the attention she got for her sick heart. Though Rose had never heard Lily yell while growing up, not even when Ted was around, she had when Rose took care of her. Lily got rebellious, like a teenager, and said weird and kind of mean things. The doctors had warned Rose that Lily’s character might change after the surgeries—when you realize you’re fatally sick, you change. But no one had warned Rose that her mother would become obstinate and unpleasant at times.

Rose knew talking about doctors was a hot button for Lily, but she pressed it anyway.

Lily snorted. I don’t care what those doctors say. I’m going.

Mom.

I’m going. And that’s final.

Come on. Can we talk about this?

You know what? I don’t need your money. You’re always offering your big money, but I don’t need it. I can afford to pay for this trip myself. I can just take Jac and go.

Mom…

I’m going and that’s that.

Rose sighed. I’ll pay for the trip, Mom. You know I will. I just want to make sure you’re safe. And she did. She also wanted to have a word with Jac about this crazy trip and what it might do to Lily’s heart.

This time Lily sighed, sounding irritated and angry. Rose… she stopped and didn’t continue for the longest time. Finally, she said, When are you going to learn that nothing in this life is safe?

Great. Lily wanted to have one of her existential talks, which Rose was never on board with. Not that Rose didn’t stop and think of existential elements occasionally herself. But it’s scary as fuck to talk about what death might be like with someone the doctors keep warning you is dying.

I don’t know, Rose said, wanting to add, Maybe never. But she didn’t. She pursed her lips closed, not willing to let her temper flare to life. Yes, maybe it could be said that this accumulated wealth had been built to create thick walls around herself in the name of safety. But she didn’t want to think about that right now. 

Lily sighed again. I failed you so many times over.

No, Mama. Just no. Rose hated this new thing Lily did, incriminating herself to the point of such deep pain that Rose wouldn’t be able to breathe for several minutes. You never failed me, Mom. You’re—

I suppose that’s why I like being around Jac. Lily interrupted. I never failed him.

Mom, you know you never—

But I did, baby girl. I did.

Rose shook her head as instant, hot tears flooded her eyes, stinging them. She turned away from the inside of her office and looked out at Manhattan—the skyscrapers she used to love gazing at and dreaming of now looked like gray smudges. She took a breath and tried hard not to grit her teeth. It felt as if she and Lily never listened to each other. Rose idolized her mother. She was so strong, overcame so much. But Lily kept insisting she had done such wrong when raising Rose and that kept putting a wedge between them. Or something put the wedge there. Or maybe it was a chasm now.

Mom, she sucked in a breath, hearing how it sounded like a little girl sniffling. You were a wonderful mother. Can we just leave it at that?

Lily sighed again. But I wasn’t.

Rose should argue the point more, but she was exhausted. This conversation had drained her of all her energy, and she needed some to give Jac a call and chew him out for giving Lily this crazy, world-trip idea in the first place. She was a sick woman who shouldn’t be traveling.

Instead, Rose said, I’ll pay for everything, Mom. Don’t worry.

Would you want to come with me? Lily’s voice was back to sounding timid, and that melon baller kept at its work, though Rose didn’t know what more could be scooped out because she thought everything in there was already gone.

She wanted to scream, Of course! I’m your daughter. I love you. I want to be with you. But she said, Mongolia would be nice to see, not quite saying yes. Rose wondered if her pride was too wounded to give Lily this one gift of saying yes. She hated herself for how she loathed the attention Jac got. It was stupid. But god it hurt—and how it hurt—every time Lily wanted to share her life with him rather than Rose.

It would, Lily’s voice was soft. Too soft.

You okay, Mom?

Yes, Lily answered quickly, her voice resuming an air of iron in it, defiance. Once, Lily had yelled and swore up a storm at Rose for asking too many times if she was okay.

Mothers and daughters, their relationships—Rose wondered if there was somewhere out there a mother-daughter duo who didn’t have a helluva complicated relationship.

Okay, Rose said. Well, I’d better get off the phone and get back to work.

When are you coming to see me next? Will I see you before I go to Israel?

Sounds like I’d better plan to come back home soon. Rose tried to giggle, a forced levity which felt awkward. When were you thinking of going?

Well, today is the last day Jac is planting the winter wheat. Then we have quite a few months to wait for spring. So I was thinking soon. You don’t have to pay for anything, Rose. I’ll pay. I don’t even know why I asked. I have the money.

Mom, I’ll gladly pay. No worries, okay?

But—

I’ll pay. And maybe, if you don’t mind a stowaway, I could meet you in Mongolia or something. I mean, I don’t want to force myself on you and Jac. So maybe that wouldn’t work. But yeah, in the meantime, I’ll come home next week. How’s that?

Lily was silent again and Rose was desperately trying not to groan aloud. Finally, Lily said, I always want you near me, Rosie baby. Always.

It hurt that much more to hear those words, that specific endearment. Ted had called Rose that. Why had Lily chosen those words? 

But Rose dusted that aside. Okay, so I’ll see you in a few days, Mom.

Lily was quiet again, but eventually said. Okay.

See you in a bit.

Another long pause from Lily. Then, See you in a bit.

They finally hung up and Rose let out a long exhalation and a few pent-up tears. She didn’t resume working, looking at the latest deal negotiations on the New Jersey property. She couldn’t even summon the excitement to glance at the numbers.

She stared at New York City. When had it become so cold? She’d loved Manhattan when she first came, often thinking it lusciously warm with all those lights at night. During the day, the sun bounced off the silver steel, burning Rose’s eyes. She’d loved that, the light so bright it hurt. Now, though, it seemed there was no light and she missed home, even the brown fields of dried grass she missed so much.

Just once she would like to have a normal conversation with her mother. Just once she wanted to say nice things to Lily and have her say them back. Mundane things, like How was your day, Mom? Or How was that Zumba class you tried? Or who knows what else, but anything rather than the constant reminders that they had a complicated past that kept gnawing at them in the present.

She didn’t know how much time had passed, but it didn’t feel like much when her phone rang again. She smiled, not bothering to look at the screen, certain it was Lily. No matter what had been said during their difficult conversations, Lily always called back. Though they would never say what needed to be said, they’d end on a good note, and that made all the difference. They could talk about how wonderful Jonathan was again, and Rose’s empty insides wouldn’t feel quite so hollow.

She laughed as she answered. Yes? Is this my wonderful mother yet again calling?

There was a long pause and Rose realized there were people, a chaotic amount of people, chattering in the background.

Rose? It was Jac, his accent thick and so Scandinavian when he usually sounded American, his pronunciation noticeable only every once in a while. His deep voice held such timbre in it, it made the phone vibrate. 

Maybe Lily, for once, had given up on Rose and had asked her hired hand to talk to her. Rose didn’t know what was happening, but something in her chest, though it always felt barren and cold, contracted in a painful way.

Jac. Hi. Are you—

Rose, I’m so sorry. His words rushed out, his accent weirdly thick, like the clouds hovering above, threatening a rainstorm. I’m so sorry, Rose. I took her to the ER, though she kept telling me she was fine. I rushed. I went as fast as I could. But…

What? Rose’s voice, for once, wasn’t scratchy. It sounded small, like a child’s, like how she must have sounded when she’d been ten and trying so hard to get her exhausted mother to see her.

I’m so sorry, Rose.

You keep saying that. What are you sorry about?

I…Lily’s gone, Rose. I rushed her to the ER. She was awake while driving there and kept telling me I worried too much, but she’d vomited and I know that’s a sign of a heart attack. Then the next thing, we checked in with a nurse and she was…gone.

What? Rose’s mind wouldn’t allow the words to make sense. She went to Israel?

What? Israel? Jac’s voice warbled. No, Rose. Your mother passed away. I’m so sorry, but she’s dead.

At that, her unmerciful mind finally drew in the words and made them make sense. But she didn’t want them to be true. No. No, that can’t—

I’m so sorry.

But she always calls me back.

What?

She always calls me back and says she loves me, and she didn’t do it this time.

Jac was quiet and Rose realized he was crying. I’m so sorry, Rose.

But…I never got to tell her I love her. I…no.

He was crying harder. I’m so sorry. I know she loved you—

This can’t be happening. No.

I’m sorry.

But she knew it was happening. She and Lily had one of their weird, not-quite-fighting fights, and she hadn’t been the bigger person and called her mom back to let her know she loved her. She always let her mom do that. Rose hated herself then.

I’ll find a flight and come home right away. Her voice was the epitome of calm. Too fucking late, but finally she sounded reasonable and rational, a fucking bubbling brook. The hatred grew.

I’m so sorry, Rose.

Do you mind picking me up from the airport? Or should I just rent a car?

I’ll pick you up, Jac’s voice kept breaking, making Rose’s chest painfully contract every time.

I’ll text you the details.

Jac was going to say more but Rose couldn’t handle anything else and hung up. It was rude, and she saw Lily’s disapproving face from a thousand miles away. No, now from a different space altogether.

Rose wrapped her arms around her middle. But I never got to tell her…how much I love her. Then she allowed herself to cry as the skyline opened and released its own tears.

Jac’s List of Stealthily Taking Care of Rose

•    Her favorite soup is veggie barley, so make it as often as possible and waft the scent in her direction. That should get her to eat more.

•  She doesn’t like when asked about her lack of sleep, so try to talk droningly about boring subjects whenever around her to make her sleepy. ALWAYS have blankets and a pillow available on a couch when droning.

•    Make a list of boring subjects, like the history of fermentation as a cooking tool for instance—good one!

•    Figure out how to draw her a bath without it seeming to be creepy, and, no, saying you filled a bathtub full of warm water to hand wash your delicates only made her smile, which was great to see since she hasn’t in days, but still…

Chapter Two

A picture of a watercolor painting with a scenic mountain and a few trees

A MONTH LATER…

Jac Madsen Thorn thought about getting a pair of binoculars and checking the main house on the Standing Deer farm to see signs of life from Rose, but that was weird, right? A month after her mother’s funeral, and