The Sharpest Kiss

By Elizabeth Myles

Her handsome boss has just been turned into a vampire!

What's a girl to do when her office crush finally asks her out on a date...but then promptly gets himself bitten by the undead? Just sit back and watch him transform into a monster? Or fight to bring him back into the light?

Twenty-four-year-old Lucy Booth is a mild-mannered executive assistant with a major crush on her boss, Aaron Ames. When the nerdy but adorable middle-manager finally asks her out for pizza one night, she's thrilled. And when he turns up at the office the next day looking clammy and complaining of being sick, she assumes he either has the flu, or he's been out partying too hard the night before.

But then she notices his newly acquired aversion to sunlight and the two puncture wounds on his neck...and he tells her he's been bitten by a vampire.

Not just bitten but turned.

Lucy knows she can't simply abandon the man of her dreams to immortality as a bloodsucking nosferatu. She has to turn him back! But how?

Thankfully, her best friend, spunky bookseller Jessica Ramos, is up for the challenge. With her help, Lucy quickly discovers that vampire bites, while rare, are not as uncommon as one might hope. Particularly in the Houston suburbs. Teaming up with other victims—both recent and long past—of the undead, the women embark on a quest to cure Lucy's man.

Soon, Lucy finds herself battling malevolent forces she'd never before imagined might exist in real life. It's easily the scariest and most unexpected thing she's ever done, but it will all be worthwhile if she can rescue Aaron from the clutches of darkness and prevent him from spending eternity as a servant of evil.

If she can save him from succumbing forever to the wicked aftereffects of THE SHARPEST KISS.

...And if they can finally go out for that pizza.

MORE ABOUT THE BOOK:

The Sharpest Kiss is a light-hearted paranormal romantic comedy.

It is a complete novel of approximately 80,000 words and is narrated in third person from multiple characters' POV.

It is part one of a series but can be read as a stand-alone story.

Reader advisory: The Sharpest Kiss includes mild cursing, alcohol consumption, vampire-related violence, and mild sexual content.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Elizabeth Myles
• Release date: Oct 31, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005688059

Elizabeth Myles

Elizabeth Myles enjoys reading and writing lighthearted romance. Her favorite stories feature sweet heroines and noble heroes. She is a graduate of Lone Star College-Tomball and the University of Houston. Her prize-winning short fiction appeared several times in Inkling: The Creative Arts Magazine of LSC-Tomball, and her novel, Fear and Laundry, received a notable entry honor in the teen category of Shelf Unbound Magazine's Writing Competition for Best Independently Published Book. Shelf Unbound subsequently included Fear and Laundry in a special contest issue spotlighting the work of “some of today’s best indie authors.”Elizabeth’s other works include the paranormal romantic comedy series The Sharpest Kiss and the contemporary/paranormal series Halloween Hearts.Elizabeth and her handsome husband, Steve, live and run together in Texas. When she is not writing, Elizabeth can be found reading, cooking, or baking, often while listening to Nine Inch Nails and other rock music. She enjoys watching sci-fi and horror movies, and her favorite television shows are Supernatural and The X-Files. Connect with her at elizabethmyles.com, and for alerts about new releases, please sign up for her mailing list here: https://elizabethmyles.com/mailing-list/

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 Elizabeth Myles

Cover by Victoria Cooper.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any person or persons, living, dead, or undead, events or locales is purely coincidental.

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CHAPTER ONE

The Courtyard at Vintage Meadow Lake, a suburb of Houston, Texas

Nine days before Halloween

THE VAMPIRE GLARED down at Lucy with red and glittering eyes, his fangs glinting from a self-satisfied smirk. He had a handsome face, pale as the moon shining above him, and his hair was long and lustrous, black as the midnight sky at his back. His white linen shirt gaped open, revealing what appeared to be acres of gleaming muscle. He had the body of a warrior. Or a god. But it was the fangs to which Lucy’s gaze continually returned. Elongated and sharp, they made her think of jaguars and panthers, tigers and…baboons.

A crisp breeze swept by, sending a dead leaf skittering across the toe of Lucy’s shoe. Predator, she thought, hugging herself as she stared back at the vampire, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away. She stood spellbound, her feet rooted to the cobblestones and her hands clutching at her elbows—until a familiar voice chirped in her ear and shocked her out of it.

Hey, Luce, sorry to make you wait. You about ready to go now?

Oh! Lucy jumped and turned around to find her best friend, Jessica, standing beside her with her sunglasses perched on her head and her purse slung over her arm. Oh, um, hi, Jess. Y-yeah, I’m all set.

Jessica paused, glancing at the vampire and then back at Lucy. Her lips curled with amusement, her blue topaz eyes starting to twinkle. They were a beautiful contrast, those limpid eyes, to her warm brown complexion and raven hair. Lucy glanced over her friend’s perfectly balanced hourglass figure and felt dowdy standing next to her, but then again, after fifteen years of friendship, that was nothing new. See anything you like? It was clear Jessica meant the vampire and not herself.

Lucy felt herself blush. She adjusted her glasses. Wh-who is that? she asked, gesturing at the vampire. Who wasn’t a real vampire, of course, but a painting of one, printed on an enormous slab of cardboard and propped up in a bookstore window. Jessica’s romance bookstore, Book of Love, which, according to the feathery purple lettering on the door, specialized in HEA. Jessica had explained it meant Happily Ever After.

People love a good love story, she’d added with a wistful sigh, because in a good love story, there’s always a happy ending.

Never mind that Lucy could easily think of half a dozen classic love stories that proved her best friend wrong. She knew better than to argue with Jessica when she was adamant about something.

"That," Jessica said, and gave the vampire a long, admiring look, is Prince Ion Petrescu.

Prince Yawn? Lucy patted her hand against her open mouth.

"Ion, Jessica corrected, laughing. I-O-N. He’s Romanian…or something."

Oh. Lucy tilted her chin, reading the title printed above the vampire’s head. A Prince at Midnight: The Sharpest Kiss Book VI.

"The Sharpest Kiss? She wrinkled her nose. That doesn’t sound…very comfortable at all, now does it?"

Jessica trilled another laugh. "Well, it’s a really popular series. This one’s a sequel to A Prince Under the Moonlight, which was a huge bestseller in the U.S. last year. It’s actually not bad, either, aside from the cliffhanger ending. I cannot wait for the shipment of Midnight to show up, so I can finally find out what happened to the Duchess Horatia Alexandrescu there. Did Ion turn her into a vampire to rescue her from falling victim to consumption, or what?" She pointed at the painting, and Lucy examined it again, this time focusing on the fiery-haired woman held fast in the circle of Ion’s massive arms. She was gorgeous, too, and appeared perfectly content in the vampire’s grip, with her delicate hand splayed against Ion’s alabaster chest, her graceful fingers digging into his bulging pectoral muscles. Lucy pictured herself in Horatia’s place, tried to imagine what it might be like to love a monster. Not so bad, maybe, judging by the adoring look on the duchess’s face.

But then Lucy’s gaze went to the sickle lying at Ion’s booted feet—his weapon for killing upstart rival vampires, she guessed—and she found herself shuddering again.

Jessica chided, Hey, stop giving the prince the side-eye, would you? He keeps the lights on around here, and food on my table.

"Sorry. Guess I’m just used to vampires being, you know, scary." Like the ones Ace Van Helsing fights in the Fiends of Professor Nosferus Chronicles, Lucy added to herself. Professor Nosferus was her favorite currently-running comic book series for adults, and she couldn’t imagine wanting to get snuggly with any of the snarling, ferocious nosferatu featured in its pages.

Now, Ace Van Helsing, on the other hand…

Oh, the prince is scary alright, a wicked gleam entered Jessica’s irises as she waggled her eyebrows at Lucy, in the sexiest way imaginable.

Lucy couldn’t begin to understand what that was supposed to mean, nor was she so sure she wanted to. Without another word, she let Jessica thread her arm through hers and lead her across the courtyard to the Dos Lunas Café. They ordered sandwiches and coffee and then, because it was a sunny and mild fall afternoon, settled in at a wrought iron table on the sidewalk. As they ate and drank underneath the wide canvas umbrella spread out overhead, they discussed all the usual topics. The latest Netflix docuseries, the news, Jessica’s family, Lucy’s family, how the renovations on the bookstore were coming along…but eventually the conversation circled back to Prince Ion.

Do you mind tacking some of these up in the breakrooms at Acray-Sys? I’m trying to get rid of the few I’ve got left before the party. Jessica plucked a stack of glossy postcards from her purse and handed them to Lucy.

They were promos for A Prince at Midnight. Lucy held up one of the cards, scanned the now-familiar book cover printed on the front, and then flipped it over. The back advertised the release party Book of Love was hosting for the new title next Wednesday night. Jessica had told Lucy that new books usually hit the market on Tuesdays, but the publisher was timing this one to coincide with Halloween and encouraging retailers to stay open late and sell it at the stroke of midnight. Lucy glanced back toward the bookstore, where a group of women had gathered around the display window and were snapping selfies in front of Ion and Horatia. She had to admit, the whole thing seemed like a pretty clever marketing ploy.

As if reading her mind, Jessica said, "The tagline for the release date just could not be any better, right? I mean, ‘Get your copy of A Prince at Midnight—at midnight?’ It’s too perfect."

Lucy smiled and tucked the cards into her tote bag. I’ll put these up for you, no problem.

You’re awesome, Jessica beamed. The awesome-est, in fact. Then, cocking her head, she peered at Lucy like a curious bird. You’re still coming, right? To the party?

Wouldn’t miss it.

And what about Aaron?

A-Aaron? Lucy fidgeted with a button on her sweater. Suddenly she was nervous, just the mention of her boss’s name making her blood pump faster and her skin feel warmer.

Jessica sipped from her coffee, watching Lucy over the rim. Uh, yeah, you know, the guy you can’t stop thinking about? Unless there’s someone else you’ve suddenly developed a massive crush on?

Could you keep it down, Jess? We’re not that far from the office. What if someone I work with were to walk by and hear you saying that?

Would it really be the end of the world?

It might be the end of my job. I do work for him, you know.

Yeah, I know. You’re such a cliché, a secretary falling for her boss. Believe me, we’ve got whole aisles of stories like that back at the bookstore. Jessica’s sarcasm was tempered by her good-natured smile.

Lucy had to chuckle, letting out a breath that stirred her bangs. "Hey, we’re called Executive Assistants, okay? Not secretaries. And it’s not as if I wanted to be living out a trope in real life, but what choice did I have?"

Jessica took another quick sip of her latté. "Working for someone that hot? Not much, she conceded. Anyway, my point was: are you inviting him to the party, or what? We’re going to have free food and champagne, fun games and cool door prizes. And I promise it isn’t only for romance nerds—every brand of geek is welcome to show up. I know if he comes with you, he’ll have a great time."

Lucy picked at the lid on her coffee, contemplating. You have his email address. Can’t you just send him an invitation?

"Well, I could, but I think it would be better if you asked him."

It’d be weird. He’d think I liked him.

You do like him.

Yeah, but I don’t want him to know that!

As if he doesn’t already? At Lucy’s alarmed look, Jessica added, Come on. I’ve seen you with him, remember? Do you honestly think he doesn’t notice the whole blushing and babbling thing? After eight months? Trust me, the jig is up.

Lucy felt horrified embarrassment rise at this accusation, and she wanted to defend herself, but she knew it was true. She did blush and babble every time she was around Aaron. Ugh. He probably thought she was the biggest fool on the planet.

And yet he keeps coming around to talk to you, Jessica went on. So he must not consider it a bad thing. If he were grossed out, he’d totally avoid you, right?

No, Lucy groaned. He can’t avoid me. I’m his assistant. He has to talk to me!

Jessica tucked a piece of lettuce more securely into what was left of her sandwich, and then rolled the sandwich up in a paper napkin. "He could just call or message you from his desk anytime he needs something. He doesn’t have to walk out and talk to you every five minutes. He definitely doesn’t have to come and sit at your desk just to shoot the breeze the way you told me he does every single afternoon before he goes home."

"He’s a big Professor Nosferus fan. That’s mostly what he likes to talk to me about."

"He talks to you about everything. How else would I know so many random things about him? Like his favorite coffee, his favorite pizza, what gym he goes to, and the fact that he runs the marathon every other year. I even know what size pants, shirts, and shoes the man wears, thanks to you buying almost all of his clothes for him. Let’s face it, you’re practically his wife already."

He’s a busy guy, Lucy laughed. He doesn’t always have time to shop for himself, so I put in the orders for him…Look, I’m sure most assistants know all that kind of stuff about their bosses. Don’t they?

Jessica’s glance was shrewd. "But he doesn’t only talk to you about himself, does he? Or order you around? He wants to know about your life, too. You told me he asked about your aunt while she was sick."

Lucy’s heart hitched at the mention of her aunt. Her favorite extended relative, Aunt Genevieve had been only fifty-eight years old when she’d discovered she was riddled with cancer. Four months ago, she’d begun receiving palliative care at her home outside Dallas, and Lucy had made several trips there to visit her and her family. To say goodbye. Aaron had been incredibly understanding about Lucy’s need for extra time off, and he had always asked about Genevieve, seeming to genuinely care about the answers. When Genevieve had finally passed, he’d sent flowers to the funeral. "That was nice of him," Lucy admitted.

He likes you, Jessica said. I can tell.

You mean it? Lucy sat up straighter, giving her a searching look. You’re not just messing with me?

Would I do that, Lucy Goose? And have I ever led you astray?

No, Lucy said, because she wouldn’t, and she hadn’t.

Jessica scooped up her bundled sandwich. I know you’re not big on making the first move or anything, but maybe it’d be worth risking it this time? I wouldn’t want you to overlook something that’s right under your nose. Or sitting by your desk at the end of every day, as the case may be. She winked as she stood up and drew her purse from the back of the chair.

You’re leaving? Lucy asked.

"Yeah, sorry, but I’ve gotta run. I told Davis I’d meet up with a vendor so she wouldn’t have to. That way she doesn’t have to cut her own lunch short. Total pain." She rolled her eyes and put the back of her hand to her forehead, feigning despair.

Please. Don’t give me that. I know it’s your dream job over there. And dealing with Mrs. Davis is only temporary. As soon as her last three months are up, she’ll be retired and out of your hair for good. You’ll be your own boss. Forever. Lucy’s lower lip momentarily jutted out. Do I sound jealous? ’Cause I am. I’m a bowl of green Jell-O over here.

Jessica grinned and wrinkled her nose. "It is pretty enviable, isn’t it? Don’t worry, someday you’ll be calling the shots somewhere, too. Until then, I think you should enjoy being, uh, subordinate to one of the studliest guys in the A-cray-cray-Sys building. It could be so much worse. She swiped her empty cup from the table. And I still think you should invite him to my party. Just saying. Ta!" She wiggled her fingers at Lucy.

Bye. Lucy watched her friend dunk her cup into a garbage bin and hurry back up the sidewalk, disappearing into the bookstore. Then Lucy pulled her phone from her pocket and checked the time. There were still twenty minutes left in her lunch hour. Plenty of time to be productive.

Drawing her bag onto the table, Lucy slid out her planner and plastic pencil case. She flipped the planner open to the following month and busied herself tracing perfect boxes on the fresh calendar pages with a straight-edge, and then highlighting each square the appropriate color. Purple for spinning classes, neon yellow for her dentist appointment, green for trips to the market, and so on. When she was done, she sat back and admired the orderly grid she’d created. There. Now her near future was all planned out to a tee, just the way she liked it. A sense of deep relief swept over her, and she sighed. Then she flipped back a few pages to the current month and saw the bright orange squiggles Jessica had doodled around Wednesday, October thirtieth. MY PARTY, she’d scrawled in giant bubble letters.

Lucy chuckled. Her best friend’s words rang in her head. He likes you. I can tell. You should invite him.

Would Aaron actually come to the party if Lucy asked him, she wondered? Maybe. But only because he seemed determined to eventually go out with every woman in the city.

In the eight months she’d worked for him, Lucy had seen her boss go out on what felt like roughly a million dates with roughly a million different women, making it seem as though he were on a mission to accept every invitation that ever crossed his desk. But not a single one of Aaron’s dates had ever been a dishwater blonde with brown eyes who wore glasses and sweater-sets over their jeans the way Lucy did. The women he went out with reminded her of fashion models straight out of the pages of Vogue—raven-haired, jewel-eyed beauties in tailored, expensive outfits and alarmingly high heels. Not that Lucy begrudged Aaron those dates. He was gorgeous. Why shouldn’t he want to surround himself with equally attractive people?

Feeling suddenly deflated, Lucy clapped shut her planner, gathered up her supplies, and chucked everything into her tote bag. She cleaned up her trash and headed up the sidewalk, back toward Acray-Sys. It took only a few minutes for her to reach the campus of tall, featureless white buildings, and soon Lucy was swiping her ID badge against the door, zooming up seven floors in the elevator, and heading back to her desk. As she rounded the corner to her office, however, she plowed directly into a brick wall.

Oh! She gasped as the tote bag flew off her arm and hit the carpet, spewing its contents. Her pencil case erupted, sending pens and highlighters bouncing out of it, rolling in every direction across the drab institutional carpeting.

Oh, geez, Lucy, I’m so sorry, the walking wall said. Didn’t see you there. Strong hands caught her by the upper arms and steadied her.

Lucy looked up to see a broad torso filling out a starched white dress shirt and, above that, a handsome face staring down at her with concern. The face featured soulful hazel eyes and a strong, straight nose, a firm jawline, and sensuous lips. The light brown hair above the face was cut short, mussed as though its owner had recently been running his fingers through it…leaving him looking tousled and appealingly disreputable.

Aaron, she breathed, and felt the blood rush to her cheeks.

Gosh, Jessica was right. With reactions like this, there was no way he couldn’t know how crazy she was about him. How humiliating.

Sorry, he repeated, gently chafing her arms. You okay? His perfect mouth slanted up on one side, and his eyes sparkled.

Lucy had always been fascinated by the way hazel eyes seemed to change color from day to day, or even hour to hour. Right now, Aaron’s seemed to be reflecting the dark, steely gray of the stripes in his necktie, with just a hint of ocean blue threading through them. But regardless of what color they appeared, his irises always had a way of making her feel she could drown in them if she let herself.

I-I’m okay, she stammered, tearing her gaze away.

Good, good, glad to hear it. Then Aaron looked at the floor and groaned. Oh, man, check out all your stuff. It went everywhere. Here... He crouched and started picking things up. Or trying to. His big hands fumbled with the tiny paper clips and miniature markers scattered around him.

Oh, no, you don’t have to do that, I’ll get it.

Lucy fell to her knees beside him and began raking together her pens and highlighters, snatching up hair elastics and tubes of lip balm, tossing handfuls of stuff into the bag with a carelessness that would’ve normally made her break out in hives. But running into Aaron had rattled her. She was too nervous to slow down and arrange things properly, let alone stop. Until she heard him say, Oh, hey, you’re having a Halloween party?

She looked up to see him holding her planner, smiling at the orange sunburst in the middle.

Oh, um, actually Jessica is. At her new bookstore.

Yeah? Aaron looked intrigued, one eyebrow cocking.

Yeah, it’s part of this big book release thing… She hunted around for the postcards Jessica had given her. Finding one, she held it out to him, but he didn’t notice. He was too engrossed in the planner, gazing at the pages in something like awe. Or maybe horror.

Wow, you’re really organized, aren’t you?

Lucy bit her lip.

"Like, really, really organized. His eyes grew as he flipped more pages. He looked up and caught the mortified expression on her face. Not that I didn’t already know that, he added quickly, and not that there’s anything wrong with it, either. He grinned, closing the planner and passing it back to her. I guess that’s part of what makes you such a good assistant. I know I couldn’t get through a week without you around to keep me in line." He winked as he pushed to his feet and extended a hand to her.

With her face on fire, Lucy tucked the notebook into the bag. Hoping he wouldn’t notice the nervous tremor in her arm, she slipped her fingers into his and let him help her up.

I, uh, I’d better get to work, she said halfheartedly. In reality, she’d have stood in that hallway for the rest of her life if it meant he’d keep holding her hand like this. His touch was electrifying, making her blood hum, and she was convinced she’d never felt anything nearly as exciting before. She wondered if he felt it, too. She doubted it, since he didn’t look electrified in any way. He only looked cheerful and vaguely amused—the way he usually did.

Ah, yeah, he said, that boss of yours—he is a bit of a taskmaster, isn’t he?

Lucy gave a nervous chuckle.

Maybe it was how discombobulated his touch made her feel, or the silly ideas Jessica had planted in her head earlier, but she found her mouth springing open and the words tumbling out before she could stop them. Would you like to come to Jessica’s party, Aaron?

What? he paused, blinking as he looked down at her.

Oh, no! Had she actually said that?

Why had she said that?

To, um, Jessica’s party. Would you like to go? G-go to it, that is? Would you like to come?

Aaron blinked again, a slight furrow appearing between his brows before his smile returned. Are you asking me out, Lucy?

To her consternation, she thought she detected a laugh in his voice. Her face blazed anew. N-no. No, of course not, I would never ask you out!

Oh, geez.

"I mean, of course I would. If I could. If I thought you would say yes. It’s not that you aren’t super-attractive or anything, it’s just…"

Oh, my WORD.

She sighed, briefly closing her eyes to get ahold of herself. When she opened them again, she forced herself to look at him evenly. I just meant that it probably wouldn’t be appropriate, she said primly. Since you’re my boss and everything. You know.

She was only being honest here. Jessica could maybe afford to be flippant about the subject, but it was a genuine concern for Lucy. It seemed as though every other week there was another required training course for Acray-Sys employees about avoiding workplace harassment. Lucy needed this job. She couldn’t afford to get caught up in any sexual misconduct scandals. Especially since she was highly unlikely to even get any sex out of it first.

Aaron’s confusion faded into understanding. Oh, yeah, he said. About that. I can trust you to keep a secret, can’t I, Lucy?

Lucy’s ears perked up. A secret? What secret?

He still hadn’t let go of her hand, and now, before she could answer, he tugged her into his outer office and shut the door behind them. He led Lucy to her desk, turned her around to face him, and, raising a finger to his lips, said, Shh, don’t tell anyone, but I’m not going to be your boss for too much longer.

It took a second for his words to register, and then Lucy gaped at him. Again, she thought about how much she needed this job. She’d spent over a year only working part-time temp jobs around the city, so that she could help her mom take care of her dad after his stroke. She didn’t regret helping her family in the least, but the break in steady employment had set her behind on her bills. Her parents had saved up a lot of money over the years; they’d have given her some if she’d asked, but she hadn’t wanted to. Their goal had been to retire early and move to Italy, and Lucy hadn’t wanted to stand in their way. Now her dad was a lot better, he and her mom were off living the dream, and she was happy for them. As far as Lucy was concerned, they never needed to know how long it’d taken her to get her head back above water after they’d left the country. Working at Acray-Sys had boosted her income enough that she didn’t have to worry about getting angry phone calls and scary letters from the credit card people anymore. These days, she could afford to treat herself to brand-name cereals, full-size sandwiches from Dos Lunas, and the occasional splurge at the comic book store. She’d be right back where she’d started, though, if she got canned.

Are you…are you firing me? she squeaked at Aaron, wracking her brain for any mistakes she might’ve made around the office lately. She came up blank. As with everything else in her life, she was meticulous about her work, painstaking, even…

What? Aaron laughed. No, of course not. I just mean that I’m quitting Acray-Sys soon.

What?!

He nodded, looking eager. "I’ve got something else lined up. Starts pretty soon. I can’t wait."

Lucy was stunned. She’d had no idea Aaron was even looking for another position. And now he said he’d landed one? He was leaving?

Sheesh, if that were true, what would be the point of her even coming to work anymore? Aside from the generous paycheck she so desperately needed—but which still paled in comparison to the reward of seeing Aaron’s gorgeous face smiling at her every day.

Oh no, this is awful! she thought, and sank an inch against her desk. She chewed her lip, feeling grief start to simmer in her chest. Then she realized that her dejection must be showing, because now Aaron was looking at her funny. O-oh, that’s great! she blurted, straightening up again. Congratulations!

His smile reappeared, like the sun breaking through clouds. Thanks.

"Where are