The Biblical Role of the Wife

By Rebekah Prewitt

This role does not come naturally for women as some claim. The Lord says it must be taught (Titus 2:3-5). Could it be that simple lack of understanding concerning the role of the wife is a significant factor in the divorce rate? I think so.

In The Biblical Role of the Wife, I will share with you some of my own mistakes and what I learned about my role as a wife. Ignorance is certainly not bliss. When I got married, I thought I knew my role. I was wrong! I only knew what I saw demonstrated around me and assumed that this was how I also must behave. It never occurred to me that some of the fighting and upheaval I was experiencing in my marriage, such as feeling torn between my husband and my family, was simply a direct result of my lack of understanding concerning my role. Needless to say, I began to learn that there was a better way—God’s way. As I learned God’s way, I was quite surprised when I noticed how much more peace and happiness I experienced because I started putting into practice the truths that I am about to share with you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rebekah Prewitt
• Release date: Nov 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005052966

Rebekah Prewitt

Rebekah is the wife of Billy Prewitt. She is also a Bible based Pentecostal Christian Counselor. She holds a PhD in Christian Counseling and operates in North Florida, USA. Visit LakeCityCounsel.com to learn more.

Book preview

Forward

I feel truly honored to be writing the forward of this book, but more than simply because it is my wife who wrote it. I feel honored because I know that the content of this book is a precious gift from God. This is easy to say, of course, as the book is steeped in the intricately woven texts of the Bible, but there is more. I have had the unique opportunity to be the first beneficiary of the transforming power of this book, and I hope to be one of many husbands that can testify to the same.

As Rebekah began researching the subject of the role of the wife, I was interested. I wondered what she would learn. I also hoped that I would benefit from the knowledge she gained, but this was only the beginning. I had no comprehension that the road she had chosen would lead her to such monumental discoveries—discoveries that would enrich our relationship significantly. In this book, she shares the insights that God has given her concerning her role as a wife. These are insights that have forever altered both of us. We hope they will do the same for you.

As a husband, I could not be more privileged to present this book to you. I do so with the enthusiasm of one who prepares to unveil an artistic masterpiece, and indeed a masterpiece it is. It is a masterpiece that the Master has given my wife, and through

her, He is giving it to you. Read it. Soak it in, and practice these principles. Your husband will be grateful, and you will find more peace and contentment in marriage than you ever thought possible. Then, when you reflect on the transformation that has taken place in your home, you will only be able to say, To God be all the glory!

—Billy Prewitt

Introduction

It was a beautiful December afternoon in Central Florida. The air blew softly as the sun beamed in the bright baby blue sky. The temperature could not have been more perfect. The time had finally arrived! I was now about to make a decision that would change my life forever. Ten minutes away stood an anxious man, frantically anticipating my arrival. As I eagerly made my way out of the limousine, I felt ecstatically nervous. My dad was nervous. My groom was nervous—what a scene! Full of excitement and bursting with anticipation, I had no clue that the road I was about to travel would forever alter my entire perception of what a wife needs to be.  

Dear Reader,

Thank you for taking the time to read this book. The truths that you are about to read are truths that I wish some woman had shared with me years ago. Had someone done so, and had I received these truths, I might have been spared a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache. Unnecessary pain and heartache is what I am hoping to spare you if you are willing to receive it. While I am not at all claiming to have this role pegged, there are some basic fundamentals that every wife needs to have in place if she is going to have a happy home. I am hoping to unravel these truths in the chapters you are about to read.

As a wife, I must admit, I thought I knew my role. Boy, was I wrong! I only knew what I saw demonstrated around me and assumed that this was how I also must behave. It never occurred to me that some of the fighting and upheaval I was experiencing in my marriage, such as feeling torn between my husband and my family, was simply a direct result of my lack of understanding concerning my role. Needless to say, I began to learn that there was a better way. What I needed was a good foundation. As this foundation began to take shape, I was quite surprised when I noticed how much more peace and happiness I experienced because I started putting into practice the truths that I am about to share with you.

It is heartbreaking to hear of the number of families that are falling apart in this world we live in. It's even worse when we hear of this in Christian homes. Why are so many families breaking up? Answering this question is not difficult. The causes can be quite numerous and can range anywhere from adultery to simple boredom. One cause, however, that is often not highlighted and can go undetected because of the extremity of the symptoms, is a basic lack of understanding as it relates to the role of the wife. Could it be that the lack of understanding of the role of the wife is a significant factor in the divorce rate?

As I pondered over the role of the wife for some time, I wondered to myself, Wouldn't it be great if only there was a manual that every woman could receive the day she became engaged? After all, every workplace position today comes with a job description of core duties, so why not have a detailed job description for being a wife? One major difference, however, is that jobs in the workplace are temporal. A person might move from one job to the next. When they do, they get a new job description. Being a wife is a life-long position. One would think that such a life-long position would come with a manual. When it comes to the job description for a wife, however, it is quite difficult to find a book on the market that clearly spells out her role. Sure, there is a plethora of books on the market for wives, but none that I have researched, either secular or religious, specifically aims at putting a manual in the wife’s hands. I was amazed to find such an absence. So, with the Lord's guidance, wisdom, strength, and blessing, I have spent several years developing one based on the Bible.

I realize that the role of the wife has raised many arguments as to what a woman should and shouldn't do and how she should and shouldn't be. With the help of the Lord, I hope to address some of these arguments and handle the subject of the wife's role in a way that will be clear and in line with the Scriptures.

Before we begin studying our role, there are a few preliminary statements I would like to make:

1.  Be careful! There may be times in your reading when you may come across certain sections and think to yourself, This is for my husband, or What about what he has to do? Although husbands definitely have a significant part to play in marriage, this book is not intended to teach wives their husbands' role even though there may be some overlapping duties. It is my focus to help the wife recognize the value and importance of her own role. Now, I am not saying that your husband is absolved of his responsibilities. I am simply not highlighting his role. It has been my experience that when a wife learns or hears of what her husband has to do, she may carry this information back to her husband and possibly incite an unnecessary quarrel. Be alert to this tendency, and you may avoid a potential problem.

2.  As this book is based on Biblical principles, it will be of the most benefit and make the most sense to the wife who truly desires to obediently follow Christ. Otherwise, it will probably make you upset, but this is not my goal. I simply hope that you can come away having learned something from this book that will help you be the kind of wife God intends for you to be.

3.  In helping you learn your role, this book will uncover some of the elementary principles taught in the Bible that, if learned and put into practice, will produce an inner peace and contentment that you would have never dreamed possible otherwise. Being a wife can be challenging. Perhaps you may be reading this book right now thinking, There is just no hope! Marriage is too hard, or I don't want to be a wife anymore. I will not tell you that if you read this book, I will show you how easy marriage is. That would be delusional! There are disappointments, insecurities, in-law issues, flirtatious women, and many other problems, but whether you are a newly-wed or have been married for many years, you can overcome all of these challenges if the right foundational anchors are in place. I only hope to show you how to lower those anchors.

It is my hope and desire, should the Lord tarry, to make a deposit in my generation and the generations to follow by leaving a work that He will guide into the hands of many women who will reap the joyous rewards of living according to His masterful design. Thus, perhaps it can also be said of me—She had served her own generation by the will of God. Again, thank you for taking the time to read this book. May the Lord bless you as you set your mind, spirit, and body to be the wife that God has called you to be.

Learning to obediently follow Him,

S. Rebekah Prewitt

Part I

L E A V I N G

Before I met my husband, one of the things I occasionally did with my family and friends was play cards. Playing cards was not really a problem to me. My husband, however, did not grow up playing cards. One morning he decided to ask me to get rid of them. Needless to say, this threw me for a curve ball. They're just cards, I reasoned—okay, I hollered. Then, I did what any good Christian wife would do—I went into the guest room, slammed the door shut, and proceeded to have my daily devotion. Boy, was I in for a surprise with what followed next. I grabbed the hymnal to sing a hymn. That's right, I was going to sing. The hymn for me that day was apparently #42—Oh! To Be Like Thee. The hymn has five verses, but evidently, I needed to be hit with the first one right off the bat—

"O! to be like Thee, blessed Redeemer,

This is my constant longing and prayer;

Gladly I'll forfeit all of earth's treasures. . ."¹

"Gladly I'll forfeit all of earth's treasures"—Oh no! Immediately, I was quickened by the Spirit—I can't even give up a pack of playing cards, but I am ready to sing, I'll forfeit all of earth's treasures! It is easy to sing a verse like this when I don't have to give up anything, but when I have to leave something behind . . .

Chapter 1

The Command

What was she thinking! Why didn't she turn the ringer off! he fumed to himself. As many arguments as we have had over this matter, you would think she would catch a clue! Dan was infuriated! It was Saturday morning, the only day for him to sleep late. He works a grueling schedule during the week and gets up early every Sunday to teach the young adults class at church. What's Dan's problem, you wonder? Well, quite often, Dan's father-in-law calls really early on Saturday mornings to see if his daughter, Joan, wants some trinket he sees at a garage sale. In frustration, he hollered at Joan, Why can't you tell him to stop calling? This left them angry at each other for the rest of the day.

Joan and Dan are not alone. Many couples are arguing and arguing and arguing over either her parents or his. Why is this happening? The reality evidenced by so many similarly disastrous marital feuds seems to be a strong indicator that something is wrong. It is not a wonder that so many people face this sort of problem. The simple reason is that many married people have failed to obey one of the first commands in Scripture. They have failed to leave and cleave. Either one, or both parties are still clinging to their parents. Their ties with their parents are not completely broken off, and it's not a wonder.  

We live in a world that emphasizes spending time with the family so much that it would sound absurd to suggest carving the turkey without them. Slogans like Home for the Holidays, topped with that warm and fuzzy feeling we sense as we walk through the stores, all push us to cling to our families. The idea of sticking close to the family has been ingrained in our psyche. Just the mention of separating ourselves from them can incite a blow to the person suggesting such a