Sorrows Lies

By Jennifer Hechko-Meyers

Filled with regret, Andy leaves Miranda, his wife of twenty-five years. He admits the whole thing was a mistake due to an accidental pregnancy that never came to fruition. He knows he never should have married Miranda, so in fairness to her, Andy can’t continue living this farce.

He seeks solace at his best friend Alan’s house while Alan is out of town. Andy isn’t alone, though. Alan’s wife Jen is there, too, and Andy and Jen have a past. Emotionally vulnerable, Andy comes clean about the skeletons in his closet.

Miranda is enraged to find Andy is with Jen, but he refuses to come home. Together, Jen and Andy travel a rollercoaster of emotions and grief. The heavy issues of unrequited love, suicide, child loss, and jealousy overshadow their every word as they wander a path of healing and redemption.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665576611

Jennifer Hechko-Meyers

JLH Meyers grew up around the Great Lakes Region of the Midwest. She attended the University of Mount Union where she holds a Bachelor of Arts degree. She also attended Lorain County Community College where she obtained an Associates of Applied Science degree. JLH Meyers has been involved with writing and publishing during her time in academia. She continued to write as a hobby throughout her post grad years. This hobby has turned into a passion with the onset of the COVID-19 Pandemic of 2020. “It was a time to either do nothing or realize I now have the time to do what I want to do and pursue it. This is a once-a-lifetime opportunity.” JLH Meyers.

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© 2022 Jennifer Hechko-Meyers. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 11/28/2022

ISBN: 978-1-6655-7662-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-7660-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-7661-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022921827

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Five years later …

Chapter 1

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"Why are you and Miranda getting a divorce?" Jen asked him as he sat on the chaise across from her desk.

Andy sighed and looked at her mournfully. Because I, we, haven’t loved each other for a very long time. Miranda finally came to terms I never loved her, he said to her with a mournful look still in his eye.

Jen couldn’t believe what she heard from him. She was shocked. Her mind was racing with thoughts of what to say or ask next. She looked at him with disbelief. That’s messed up! she said to him, shaking her head. That’s so messed up, Andy! How? Why—why would you marry someone you didn’t love? she asked him with a critical tone to her voice.

Andy looked at Jen. His eyes faded as he went to speak to her. Jen, Miranda was pregnant when I told you I met someone and was getting married. I didn’t want to tell you about the pregnancy because I knew you were going to be devastated, I was getting married. It’s not how I wanted my life to go. I figured the pregnancy would have pushed you over the edge. I mean, we were on a break from our relationship, but still, I should have waited or reached out to you like you had done. But it’s all a mess! A big mess! he told her as he dropped his head in his hands.

Jen sat there still in disbelief of the whole situation. She started to speak to him but was gentle with her speech. You were trying to do the right thing. No one can fault you for that. Not even me! He looked up at her as she spoke to him. "But, Andy, there’s doing the right thing and figuring out your life. My god!

I personally wouldn’t marry someone because we had an ‘oops’ pregnancy! I’d want to figure things out first before I jumped into that. I mean, I assume you and Miranda ‘hooked up,’ or it was a ‘fling’ or something. I’m trying not to be catty," she said to him.

Andy nodded to her. Yes, Miranda was a ‘fling.’ A one-night stand, if you will. My god! Saying all this out loud is horrible. I feel horrible about her, about you, about the whole situation! My god! he exclaimed and got up from the chaise. He stood looking at her. Andy shook his head and started to pace the floor in front of the chaise. Jen, seriously, I never thought I’d get her pregnant. It wasn’t what I intended to do. I was letting loose. You and I hadn’t chatted in a while. I was out with the guys, and one thing led to another. None of it was planned. When she told me she was pregnant, I felt sick. But I wanted to do the right thing. I didn’t want her or our child to be alone. So, I asked her to marry me. I know Alan knows all about it. He didn’t know about the pregnancy until later. However, Miranda lost the baby shortly after I told you about me marrying her. He stopped pacing and sat back down. Jen’s eyes watched him as he paced the floor and finally sat. Their eyes met. Please know telling you I was getting married broke my heart. Jen, I knew Miranda wasn’t who I loved. Then to hear you react happily to me was a knife in my heart. I knew you were devastated. I could see it in your eyes as you said, ‘congratulations’ to me.

He looked intensely at her.

Jen kept her eyes locked with his. I’m sorry for the loss of the baby. That has to be devastating to both of you. Poor Miranda! I can’t even imagine how she felt. Poor you too but mostly her. To know you didn’t love her, then to lose the baby …, she faded in thought.

Jen, yes, it was devastating. Probably more so for Miranda on an emotional level. I felt more obligated to stay with her after that. Mostly because I felt guilty. I felt I couldn’t break off the marriage after she lost the baby. That would have been terrible. But perhaps we should have. She and I were never in love. It was obligatory, he told her.

She just stared at him blankly. I honestly don’t know what to say. It was a collective mess of one bad decision after another over the course of decades! I still can’t believe you two stayed together for as long as this! Jen shook her head and blinked her eyes at him.

They held their gaze as Andy began to speak. When I found out you and Alan got together, my heart shattered. I knew I lost you. I knew I could never get you back. You closed that chapter between us that night I told you about me and Miranda. I just accepted my fate at that point—being married to someone I never loved but felt obligated to be with because of circumstances I felt were out of my control. I know we invited you and Alan to the wedding, but I knew you had previous engagements and wouldn’t be attending.

He sighed and blinked his eyes. I secretly hoped you would have come, he said softly, gazing into her eyes.

She caught her breath at his gaze. She hadn’t had anyone gaze at her like he did. Alan, her husband, was romantic and loving, but he didn’t make her feel like Andy made her feel. Now Andy is sitting across from her, in her and Alan’s house, gazing at her like he would when they were together so long ago. He noticed her gaze softened to his. He felt his heart jump, by the way her eyes softened to his. He continued his explanation to her, still holding the soft gaze between them.

"I secretly hoped you would have come to the wedding. I wanted you there so when the priest said,

‘Does anyone have any reason why these two people should not be united in matrimony,’ I could have had the courage to step down and come to you. He paused, and his eyes watered. It’s always been you! I have never stopped loving you! Even now, I’d love to take you in my arms and hold you to me, kiss you lovingly and love you like I should have been my whole life!" He started to get emotional. He stood up and went toward her.

Jen saw him get up and walk over to her. She sat in her chair as he came to the side of her chair and looked down at her. He kneeled on the floor by the side of her chair. His face was wet with tears. Jen felt his emotions and looked sympathetically at him. She had so many thoughts and feelings churning inside her. Their eyes met, and he again looked at her mournfully.

"Even with the divorce, I still lose, Jen. I can’t take you away from Alan and your family. He loves you so much, and I know you love him. I can’t compromise that in good faith. I respect both of you so much.

Alan has been such a wonderful friend throughout the years. You, you have always been welcoming and caring toward me. But I needed to tell you what has been on my heart for decades. He reached for her hand that was on the arm of the chair. She felt him touch her hand, and she let him take her hand in his. He held her hand, keeping the gaze between them. Jen, I am sorry I broke your heart. I am sorry I left you like I did. I promise you, I never stopped loving you. I know you know this …," he faded in his thoughts as he gazed at her.

Jen felt a twinge in her heart. She understood him. Andy, I know you never stopped loving me. I knew with every small bouquet, letter, or simple note you sent. The birthday cards we would and still do send each other … She smiled as a tear fell from her eyes. I never stopped loving you either. Alan knows how I feel about you, which I thought odd that he’d suggest you stay with us temporarily. But I trust him as he trusts me, and I assume he trusts you too! Andy, you broke my heart that night, but we’ve kept in touch and have been orbiting each other’s lives. She smiled brighter at him. Your wife hates me, and now it all makes much more sense. She chuckled.

Andy let go of her hand and went back to the chaise. She still hates you! He laughed. That’s why the four of us never went out to dinner together! She laughed at his comment. He nodded to her through their laughter. Andy settled down and looked at Jen. You and Alan are amazing together! I’m happy for you. You found someone who adores you. He smiled at her.

Jen nodded. Yes, well, it was a shock to me he even felt that way about me. I mean, I met him six months before you and I got together. He and I were always friends—friends for a wide variety of reasons.

She chuckled as did he. First, he was way older than me. Second, he was going through a divorce when we met. He was involved with another woman at the same time. He was not someone who I thought I’d ever want to be involved with in a romantic nature. We could be friends/colleagues, for sure, but nothing more from my perspective. I know he wasn’t all that receptive when I told him about meeting you and us dating. But then you two met. She started to laugh. That, in retrospect, was very unorthodox! She laughed even harder.

Andy joined her laughter. Oh my god, yes! I couldn’t believe you had us meet! he stated to her.

I know! I was like, ‘You want to go to lunch?’ You both were like, ‘Sure’. I was like, ‘I have someone I’d like you to meet!’ She started laughing again. It was like I was having you two meet for a blind date! She howled in laughter. Andy did too. They both had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard.

Oh god! Yes! That’s how it felt! he told her.

Your face when Alan showed up was just as priceless as his face. I have it forever burned into my memory. You were shocked at who Alan was, and he was shocked about you too. He knew your work and admired it. You knew his work and admired it too. Then I formally introduced you to each other and boom! I no longer existed in the room! They both started laughing again.

"It was a start to a great friendship and collaborative partner. I am very grateful for you to have introduced us. We both have advanced in our careers since we met too. Truly, thank you. It’s what brings me here.

I have a trusted friend and confidant in your husband. I am grateful for that. I am also grateful his wife loves him and tolerates me!" He chuckled and smirked.

She sighed and nodded to him. Yes, he is lucky I love him so much. And you! Yes! I tolerate you too!

She laughed.

They settled down from their laughter. Andy was curious about how Jen and Alan got together. Seriously, Jen, when did you and Alan get together? I know he and I worked on a project together after I got married. He told me then you two were seeing each other. It shocked me because you always kept him as ‘just friends.’ I’m curious, is all, he asked her sincerely.

She smiled at him and moved her chair to face him. "After you broke my heart, I called him, and he heard all about it. He talked to me about it, and I moved on. Then I started to talk to someone else, and that didn’t work out either. Logistics and work were the issue. I started to feel like I wasn’t able to be loved.

I know it sounds silly, but between you and the other guy, I was a mess. Alan met me in Kiev, and we spent the day together. The band was to be interviewed for a TV show there, Moldova, Romania, and a few others. I was there before the rest of the band because I was in Bremen with the other guy until all that fizzled out. The band was coming in from the United States, and Alan was in Scotland. While in Kiev, he and I had some very deep conversations about what I wanted and needed in a relationship.

Fast forward a couple of months, Alan asked me to stay with him while I was on a break in London. I said sure. I needed a vacation, and Alan and I could hang out. He asked me to dinner and a fundraiser at the Royal Botanic Gardens. It was all very formal, which was unusual for him and I. I didn’t think much of it. We had a fabulous dinner out in one of London’s finer restaurants. Then we went to the fundraiser. It was a wonderful time. Besides, I love plants, you know that. So, we were able to wander about the gardens a bit. There was a lovely secluded little spot with gorgeous flowers. He pulled