How to Write Erotica

By Rachel Kramer Bussel

Have you had intimate fantasies or simmering plotlines you’ve wanted to write but weren’t sure how or where to start? Let renowned erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel show you how to turn those fragments into fully fleshed out erotic stories, novellas, and novels. In this indispensable nonfiction craft guide, Bussel takes her 20+ years of experience in the genre and walks writers through the ins and outs of erotic writing. Whether you want to see your work on the shelves of bookstores, pen sexy stories or letters for a partner, or simply explore your creativity, How to Write Erotica will put you on the path to becoming the next Anaïs Nin!

Having taught erotic writing workshops at universities, conferences, and sex toy stores across the world and online, Bussel knows how to make even those who blush at the word “sex” feel comfortable putting pen to paper. Her easy-to-follow method to penning erotica is broken down utilizing helpful tactics that include:

Practical examples from her own writing process

Erotica excerpts

Interviews with over a dozen successful erotica authors

Numerous writing tips and prompts

Aspiring erotic authors of all genders will learn everything they need to know about gaining inspiration from their everyday surroundings, breaking into publishing, promoting their work, and making a name for themselves. From pseudonyms to BDSM, overcoming writer’s block and crafting sultry, believable characters, Bussel’s advice will have you seeing erotic possibilities everywhere. You don’t need an advanced degree, previous writing experience, or sexual experience to write good erotica. All you need is a keen imagination and a willingness to follow your lusty mind wherever it takes you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cleis Press
• Release date: Feb 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9781627785327

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

What is Erotica and Why Do We Write It?

Welcome to the wide world of erotica! Whether you’re opening this book with your mind already brimming with visions of sensual scenes or you’re ready to dive into the world of sexuality but don’t know where to start, this book will help you get right into putting those images on paper and crafting them into vivid, memorable stories.

Erotica is a genre that everyone seems to have an opinion about, but not many people can define. So I’ll start this book with a simple definition: Erotica is writing intended to arouse. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, I believe it is and it isn’t. Using that definition, erotica is expansive enough to cover a huge range of scenarios, from a person who’s turned on by watching another person eat a particular food in just the right way, or putting on just the right style of shoe, to descriptions of anything-goes orgies. We will return to this definition again and again as we build on it to go deeper into story ideas, fantasies, plots, and characters.

My hope is that you will start seeing the world through an erotic lens, and apply it to both everyday and more unusual occurrences, which will help you expand the possibilities of what you can write about.

While erotica can encompass the whole spectrum of human sexuality, just including a sex scene or some dirty words isn’t enough to make a piece of writing erotic. As you’ll see in the rest of this book, so much of what elevates words to the level of the erotic is the tension, the atmosphere, the mood created by them, along with what they represent.

Anyone Can Write Erotica

One of the most wonderful aspects of the erotica genre is that it’s so welcoming of various approaches, writing styles, and types of sexuality. You don’t need an advanced degree or a certain amount of sexual experience or to know about every sex toy ever invented or to have memorized the Kama Sutra. All you need is an open mind and a willingness to be creative and empathetic. All the rest—the positions, the plots, the dirty words (and dirty talk)— you can develop over time.

Because I believe that anyone with an interest in the topic can write erotica, I wanted to write this book and share all that I’ve learned over the past twenty-plus years of writing and editing erotica.

I got started writing erotica by accident. I was in law school, living in Greenwich Village in the heart of New York City in the late nineties. I had never written fiction before, but I’d been drawn into the world of sexy stories, which helped transform my way of looking at sex.

I heard about an anthology called Starf*cker being edited by Shar Rednour, based on the zine of the same name, and knew immediately who I wanted to write about: Monica Lewinsky. I’d been following her story and was incensed on her behalf over the way she’d been slut-shamed. I’d also cut out a tabloid article that hinted that she’d had a crush on a woman who worked in the White House. So, using that article as a catalyst, I sat down and wrote Monica and Me, a sexual fantasy starring, yes, a character exactly like me, and Monica—at least, the Monica I’d concocted in my head based on interviews and articles I’d read, along with her memoir.

That short story got accepted for Starf*cker as well as Best Lesbian Erotica 2001, edited by Tristan Taormino, and led me to making new fans of my work. What made the story work wasn’t just that I was writing about someone who was internationally famous, but also that I had brought my own knowledge and passion for the subject into it. I was able to conjure up the images easily because they’d already been percolating in my mind.

As you proceed with this book, you will work your way toward you being able to sit down at your computer or with pen in hand and start to write erotica based on just a simple prompt.

What Is Erotica?

So, going back to the question I’m meant to answer: What is erotica? I consider it writing that has sexual tension baked into it, that explores what arousal and desire and sex mean to the characters within the context of writing intended to arouse. The same scenarios could be told in other genres, but in erotica, your job as a writer is to turn the reader on, to get readers to understand your character’s turn-ons and sexual psyche. Whereas in romance, a happily ever after or happily for now is required, in erotica, the meaning of happy endings is different. There should be an erotic payoff for your characters, but their relationships don’t have to be neatly tied up by the end of your story.

But just because erotica is meant to arouse doesn’t mean every word and every sentence have to be about happy, wonderful, or perfect aspects of life. Erotica can be about aspirational fantasy, but it can also be about the more challenging aspects of life, when everything feels like it’s falling apart, when we’re at our darkest emotional places, yet still manage to seek out arousal and intimacy and pleasure. Because that happens in real life too. Remember that if you feel concerned that you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, your characters don’t have to, either. They can have fears, worries, and questions about sex, and you can still make your work erotic and impactful.

You will see many references here to erotic romance, because many authors of erotic romance either also write erotica, or else because I wanted to include their perspective for those who want to amp up the eroticism in their romance.

To help give you a sense of what erotica means, I’ve asked some other erotica and erotic romance authors to share their definitions. As you’ll see, there are a variety of ways people conceptualize written erotica, and you can use this to your advantage as you explore your own particular interests within the wide world of sexuality.

Guy New York: I generally think of erotica as stories that center on sex as a human experience. It’s the bits that are most often left out of other books but are so big a part of many of our lives. Good erotica ideally lets you think while also getting turned on but without getting in the way of itself.

Dr. J (Donna Jennings, PhD): I see erotica as a story of a specific sexual journey which, when told, highlights the sexual sensations of the characters for the readers. Those specific sensations arouse the reader. As a writer of erotica, it is important to understand the specific details of description that might evoke the sexual feelings in the reader.

Sally Bend: I define erotica as a sexually charged story with engaging characters and a well-written narrative that resonates on more than just a physical level. One-handed arousal is fine for what it is, but erotica needs more than that to be memorable; it needs to get inside your head and make you think as well as feel.

Tiffany Reisz: Erotica is like Gothic in that it was intended to be subversive. Most ‘classic’ erotica isn’t sexy at all. It was written to mock the middle class or the clergy or hypocrisy in general. Erotic romance is earnest and sincere and is genuinely about the power of sex and the beauty of love (or the beauty of sex and the power of love). Both have sex in them but a cozy mystery and a snuff film also both have murders in them and they couldn’t be more different.

Authors on Erotica vs. Erotic Romance

Katrina Jackson: To me erotica is an exploration of a relationship through sexual encounters. Romance requires that the story ends in a happily ever after (HEA) or happy for now (HFN). Erotic romance means that the romantic relationship is explored through their sexual encounters. With all of that said, most of what I write traverses all of these definitions. A lot of my erotica centers on established relationships that are shifting in some way (e.g., adding a third or going through a breakup) and while an HEA might not be on the page, I can usually make the case that most of my books have an HFN ending. I prefer the ambiguity and market without bothering with most genre labels.

Rilzy Adams: I think an erotica is any piece where the sex is the central point of the story whereas in erotic romances, the journey to love is central but the sex scenes are still on the erotic side. I market most of my novelettes where the focus is on the sexual chemistry between my pairings as an erotica but as for the longer works where there is a development of their relationship, those I would put into both categories. As it stands, I cannot say I actually notice the distinction to be important to my readers.

Why Authors Write Erotica

Why do I write erotica? Because it stimulates my biggest sex organ: My brain. There’s always some new aspect of sex to uncover and explore. My earliest writings were often based on my own sexual fantasies or personal life. But when I started to run out of those and wanted to expand my writing repertoire, I found myself writing about all kinds of characters—gay men, transgender characters, those with fetishes and histories totally unlike mine.

One of the most important things to remember about erotica is that even when you’re writing a story involving a specific sexual fetish or orientation or type of sex toy, your work isn’t about that topic, but about your highly unique characters. You might go on to write twenty novels all featuring butt plugs, for example; they will each be different in some way, even though they have this in common.

I write erotica because it constantly pushes me to explore my own sense of my sexuality and the wider world of sex. There are always new aspects of eroticism to explore and learn about.

Here are a few reasons why other authors told me they’ve continued to write erotica:

Guy New York: I’ve met many amazing people through writing, sharing, and online communities, including my wife. So, it’s had a rather large effect. I continue to find sex interesting, and my goal of helping people feel normal still feels important. And in this time where we’re once again cracking down on sex across the internet, writing freely about complicated and often taboo things, feels like an act of rebellion. If we ever get to a place where sex is more acceptable than violence to the general public, maybe I’ll take a break.

Cole Riley: Many words, articles, and books have been written about Black attitudes and experiences about Black sexuality. It has been a bunch of trash, clinical, or pop psychology claptrap, or some girlfriend sex romp. I thought the subjects of love, lust, and intimacy deserved a better exposure, with something catering to every erotic taste and fantasy within reason. Being alone or lonely is never fun. Where sex can be about getting off, ending in an intense orgasm, there has to be something more than a climax. My erotica and my authors’ portrayals of love and lust understand that this literature must lend itself to a deeper understanding of ourselves.

QUESTIONS

What do you think erotica is? How would you define it?

What do you think of some of the other erotica definitions you’ve read?

When did you first learn about erotica and where did you encounter it?

What was the first piece of erotica you read?

What’s one example of erotica that you’ve read? Why did it stand out to you?

Why do you want to write erotica?

If you were going to write erotica about a celebrity, who would it be?

CHAPTER 2

What Will People Think? Getting Over Your Fears

When I work with erotic writing students and clients, one of their most common fears is about what people will think if they find out. These fears aren’t unfounded; unfortunately, while erotica has had its moments of mainstream success, because there is still so much societal shame around sexuality, that extends into fictional erotica as well.

I won’t sugarcoat it: If you write erotica and your friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc., find out, some of them might not be thrilled. They may judge you and make assumptions about you. Hopefully, they won’t, but it’s a reality that you will have to grapple with as you make decisions about how to approach your writing.

The good news is, nobody has to know that you’re writing erotica unless you want them to—and that includes your spouse, immediate family, and even your best friend.

I’m not going to tell you to just ignore what other people think, but I am going to tell you that in order to write your best erotica, you are going to have to set those fears aside, because otherwise they will creep into your creative process and could alter the form your writing takes.

Writing erotica can be an opportunity to explore your own sexual mind, to unlock fantasies and interests you may not have ever consciously articulated. It’s first and foremost your own, as private as you want it to be until you share it with others, which is possible to do completely anonymously (I address pseudonyms in Chapter 12).

On the other hand, you may think that you’re totally above caring what people think—until that one person who can get under your skin reads your most intimate thoughts. This can happen in the writing stage, or when you’re preparing to publish your work, as well as when deciding how, or if, you will promote your words.

Worst-Case Scenarios

Before you sit down to draft your erotic masterpiece, you may want to do some journaling and think about what the worst-case scenario for your everyday life would be if key people found out that you were writing erotica.

Sadly, there are still many people out there who would judge erotica authors and readers. While it’s easy to say that that’s their problem, not yours, if those people have power over you, that power can have a real effect on your daily life. So I would think long and hard about what those worst-case scenarios are, get them on paper, then make a plan in order to avoid them. If privacy is of the utmost concern, including from those in your household, password protect your computer so that only you can access it. For any documents related to your erotica writing, use your pseudonym and always ask to see proofs of anything that will be published ahead of time to ensure that the correct name is used.

QUESTIONS

What are your fears about writing erotica?

What are the worst-case scenarios you’re picturing?

Who, if anyone, do you plan to confide in about your erotica writing?

In an ideal, judgment-free world, what kind of erotica would you be writing?

CHAPTER 3

Inspiration Is Everywhere! Where to Get Erotica Ideas

You want to write erotica . . . but need some inspiration. Where can you find ideas? What if you don’t know where to start or what you want to write about? Good news: after this chapter, you should be able to come up with erotic ideas every day, wherever you are.

This is the fun part. One of the most wonderful things about erotica is that it can cover any aspect of our lives. Your characters don’t have to exist only in the bedroom; they can be turned on anywhere.

Many people tend to think of erotica as existing in the space of pure fantasy, where everyone is practically having an orgasm just from a glance at their perfectly adorned lover, where no problems or frustrations exist, where life is totally smooth sailing. It certainly can be that, but erotic elements also exist in the most mundane, everyday moments. Maybe the coffee pot breaks, but before your heroine has a meltdown about getting her daily caffeine to get her through the day, her partner enters the kitchen, gets down on his knees, and offers a different way to wake her up. Or maybe she puts a coffee bean in her mouth and lets the taste of it transport her to a time when she flirted with a particularly hot barista who drew erotic art in her latte.

I’ve drawn inspiration for my writing from a wide range of sources, including my own life, billboard ads, phrases I’ve heard or encountered (like necessary roughness), newspaper headlines, and more.

With erotica you can be outlandish in your plotting or explore the arousing parts of everyday life. These realistic elements can make your writing relatable and make readers feel like they could be living out your story.

I encourage you to start by looking around your own immediate surroundings. What objects could make for good erotica fodder? Maybe it’s a part of your home, such as a kitchen counter, couch, chair, or desk. Or is it a structure like a closet? If you’re at work, consider what office interactions might make for good chemistry, whether they’re boss and employee, IT person and employee, client and doorperson, coworker and coworker, or two chefs in the cafeteria kitchen.

Consider these jumping off points that you will transform with the power of your creative writing, so if in real life, any of these elements are close but don’t quite scream erotic to you but have caught your attention, still jot them down in a notebook or your phone or a file and note them for later. What may seem practically insignificant in the moment may make you pause the next time you’re taking a walk or driving or in the shower and think, "Now wait a minute, if I rearrange this and reposition that and add this plotline, this has the makings of