If Only You Knew

By Ryan Terrence

If Only You Knew is a chilling, page turning, true-crime story about an international student who found themselves going from studying abroad, to prison abroad. This book goes into depth about the harsh reality of the American judicial system and what really happens with life behind bars.

The stone cold truth will shock you to the core.

Terrence, had found himself in a mind-numbing nightmare. He was accused of a crime he did not commit, and was sentenced to prison.

It is truly an extreme in making the best out of forced circumstances and this motivational story is so diverse, it speaks to anyone who reads it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ryan Terrence
• Release date: Jan 19, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215433256

Book preview

Chapter I

Departure

After months of planning , anticipation and working multiple jobs to make this opportunity happen; it was finally the eve of my new venture in life. I was travelling to study abroad in Colorado, USA. I was a student at university studying forensic science and anthropology and I was going to be in my second year. Being a student studying this degree was always intriguing to me, especially in the two classes, crime scene science and forensic anthropology. This was because at the University of Colorado and being in America, the crime scene science classes would enable me to hone in on my skills and knowledge in the evidence collection from firearms and homicide cases. The anthropology classes would be beneficial to me as they also had a body farm close to campus.

I had finally said goodbyes to my girlfriend, her family and family members of my own. Time was now well underway before I travelled to Manchester airport for departure from everything I knew and loved. At this point, my grades from university had not been calculated, but pass or fail, I was still going to board that plane.

That night, I barely slept due to excitement and nerves. I had never flown alone, let alone across the world to a different country. At the airport, I hugged my mother, told her that I loved her, and then slowly strolled towards the terminal. I realised that it was time to grow up fast and learn how to live life by myself.

Onboard the flight I was lucky enough to have a window seat, because the views were gorgeous. We were still at low altitude as we flew over Greenland as I could make out every detail of the polar ice caps. The person who was seated next to me began talking to me about how his boss was paying for everything. He had said that at their job, they had achieved goals and bonuses and the beers would be free, offering me one. I took up on the offer and for the rest of the flight the drinks flowed smoothly. I am not sure what company he worked for, but the manager must have done exceedingly well to pay for him and his colleagues to party in Las Vegas for the weekend, all inclusive.

After twelve hours we had finally touched down at Las Vegas International airport. There were only ninety minutes until my connecting flight. The airport was overcrowded, and two customs enforcement agents had decided to pull me into a room to question me. They had suspicion I was carrying drugs as I was travelling alone across the country. Once they proceeded to question and release me, I had noticed I only had five minutes to sprint for my connecting flight to Grand Junction. I arrived at the gate, and I was unable to board the flight which was astonishing as it was still connected to the terminal gate. Arguing with the lady at the desk was pointless, as all she could say was Sorry sir, you can buy a new ticket in a week's time if you want.

Being sleep deprived, highly annoyed, and now stranded, all I wanted to do was self-incinerate. It was now time to travel across the Las Vegas strip to the greyhound shelter for my fourteen-hour coach journey to Grand Junction. I had downloaded the Uber app and booked myself a taxi. When it arrived, it was now a mission to find the car with a matching registration plate, as the airport was flooded with identical taxis, all congregated in one area. Upon arrival at the greyhound station, I looked at the board to see that my coach was now delayed a further three hours, so I took it upon myself to roam the local area for a while. It was not until walking the local area that I realised how much of a ghetto that Las Vegas could be. Homeless people were littered across the streets and drug users everywhere. It seemed that everyone was either on meth, heroin, or cocaine.

The coach had finally arrived and it turned out I did not even need to purchase a ticket, because none of the workers batted an eye upon entering the station. I did not need a ticket for the coach either, and everyone had sat where they wanted. I sat the furthest to the back as I could, which happened to be next to the toilets. We had to wait a further hour before departure and the coach journey was horrific, people smelt and it was crammed like a tin of fish. What was meant to have been a simple fifteen-hour journey had now turned into forty hours, due to the missing of a flight, delays and waiting around. The journey itself was long and the constant sound of people throwing up in the toilets was disturbing, but the views of the mountains and desert were amazing. No photo could capture what the eyes could see.

Chapter II

Campus life

Finally, I made it to Grand Junction where one of the International Student Exchange Program (ISEP) coordinators was waiting for me at the station. His role was to drive me to the campus and help me to get settled in properly. Straight away, I opened the passenger's side door just to remember that this would be the driver's side door over here. We briefly talked about the journey, delays, and what to expect throughout the year.

I arrived at campus and the coordinator showed me around student services. This was where I would get my photo taken for identification purposes and also officially be checked in and ready for campus life.

After this initial check-in stage, it was time to go to my apartment ‘Walnut Ridge’ where I would be living with three other students. Brandon Topfer, who was from Texas and was a modern-day cowboy. Dillon Kierney was a local from Denver and once played for the Colorado Rapids. He was one of the best footballers I have ever seen. My last roommate was Sam Moreno whose parents were from Mexico, we became super close as friends and did everything together. I was blessed to have had a friend like that, and these people all turned out to be amazing throughout my short stay.

The following few days were spare time to find my bearings around campus and the local area. The campus did not have many faults, the view from my apartment window was a volleyball court, which would get crowded with large games and onlookers who blasted music through their speakers. Adjacent to that was a basketball court, where most of my time would be spent with my flatmate Sam, and his friends practising and playing four on four games; I would not say I was bad for someone who had never played before, and I made some good three pointer shots.

Directly behind my flat was the Maverick centre, this was a large recreation centre for students. Just behind the maverick centre was the football pitch for games, tournaments, and practice. This is where Dillon, Sam, another ISEP student from Nigeria, named Max, and I would play in eleven a side games and would witness the magic from Dillon.

Brandon was the only person who drove in our flat and had offered to take me to Walmart, so we went for some essentials to get settled ready for the first semester. Being in the car with him had introduced me to a world of country music. Once he started playing this in the car, I was instantly hooked, although I tried to hide the fact that I enjoyed it. At Walmart, it was not as cheap as I was hearing everyone mention that it was. To buy my pillowcases and bed sheets it had cost me $40, whereas at Primark in England, this would have cost £20. Even the price of everyday food was expensive and that was not including the added tax on everything. Once home, I had set everything up and Sam had asked if I wanted to walk around the campus.

Sam and I had met a woman who lived above us on the third floor named Vikki, she was skinny, blond hair, wore large glasses, about five foot and six inches in height and came across as a carefree person with hippie vibes. She had decided that we can walk to the campus bike shop and leave a $50 deposit for our own bicycle. After this, every day we began to cycle places and explore the areas such as downtown. The only downside was that the bikes had no gears, so any slight incline would become a challenge.

During my free days waiting for the classes to start, I would get bored and cycle to random places, to enjoy having some alone time in the sun. Living above me on the second floor was a guy named Conor, who was friends with Brandon. He informed me that Junction could be a dangerous place. He began to tell me about the gangs and heavy drug users in the area. I was never worried about this as I had never personally come across this here, and I knew mixed martial arts, so I knew I could protect myself if there was an altercation. Conor would persist that I take his large flip knife for protection, and I reluctantly agreed. That night, I decided to venture further and checked out the neighbourhoods to see that the ghettos were like our council estates back home. I noticed that the neighbourhoods were dimly lit with no security cameras, so I could see how there were high levels of crime.

A week had passed and now it was Friday, the campus was hosting a glow party to let students party on campus and get to know each other, before the first semester began on the following Monday. Brandon, Sam, and I headed to the shops to buy an unhealthy amount of alcohol. Unfortunately for me, I had not found out that the elevation would make intoxication occur easier. The glow party was situated on a field on campus which was supposed to be a five-minute walk from our flat. However, with Sam and I being intoxicated, this had turned into a thirty-minute mission. That party became a blur, but I did wake up to messages on Facebook telling me how much of a liability I was.

The rest of the weekend we recovered and relaxed. Sam had finally introduced me to the café, and it had unlimited food and drinks for free. At university in England, we had to pay for everything, and it was overpriced too. When I walked into the cafe after scanning my card upon entry, to the left was fresh pizza being made, directly across was a salad and fruit bar, and adjacent to that was a burger bar and several types of meats being cooked and then placed into a warmer. There were also sections for Mexican and American styled foods and self-made breakfast pancakes. With having unlimited access to the café and as it being an all you can eat style; my weight began to make a turn for the worst. I came to the USA at just under seventeen stone and now I was soaring towards eighteen within two weeks.

Sam was not fat, but we decided to go from fat to fit and began rock climbing on campus. This was where I discovered another English student by the name of Euan, who happened to