Pounding Chest: A Young Man's Journey from Dealer to Healer

By Armani Antonellis

In a raw delivery of personal journals, cringe-worthy debauchery, philosophical/spiritual meditations, and practical reflections:

I share how I climbed myself out of my mounting troubles, refocused my purpose, and started making my dreams a reality.

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"My first job had been on a beautiful beach, and th

• Language: English
• Publisher: POUNDING CHEST PUBLISHING LLC
• Release date: Feb 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9798987647516

Armani Antonellis

Armani Antonellis lives in Portland, Oregon and works as a Licensed Massage Therapist in an integrative clinic. He enjoys living life on the edge, pursuing supernatural potential, and dancing with his demons. In his free time, he writes, reads, lifts, plays water polo, takes psychedelic walks through the forest, and bathes in electronic music. Armani loves connecting and collaborating. If any readers would like to connect, share their goals list, or chat about the meaning of life please don't hesitate to reach out at [e-mail]

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POUNDING CHEST

Armani Antonellis

Copyright © 2023 by Armani Antonellis

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permission requests, contact POUNDING CHEST PUBLISHING LLC at [e-mail]

Published in Portland, Oregon

Identifiers:

Paperback ISBN 979-8-9876475-0-9

eBook ISBN 979-8-9876475-1-6

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023901821

1st edition 2023

A friend recently told me that confident, adventurous humans are bred through strong parenting. This book is for Mom and Dad. I’m eternally grateful to be your son.

A few names have been changed to protect the identity of those individuals.

Table of Contents

Game Time

Operation Hustle

AZC Takeoff

Coronado Beach

Europe

AZC Rebirth

SHIT!!

Every Action has a Reaction

Pacific Northwest

The Perimeter

Get Some

Pounding Chest

Chapter 1:

Game Time

Guy, Armani

My journey began in Poway, CA where I was born two days before Christmas. December 23, 1994, to be exact. I was fortunate to be raised by two amazing, love-filled individuals who were very supportive despite my crazy ventures. I grew up in Murrieta, California, a small town located half-way between Los Angeles and San Diego. At the time, it was considered a suburb but today it is overpopulated as families search for cheaper housing options in Southern California.

My father, Domenic, decided he wanted to be an electrician around 5 years old. He grew up humbly after his parents immigrated from Italy to Boston. They didn’t have a lot of money but worked hard to provide for their children. My dad liked to play hockey, but didn’t have the money to buy a hockey stick. He found a slab of wood and duct taped a clothes hanger to the end of it. His friends called him The Clothes-Hanger. My Dad’s ingenuity continues to this day, he is always taking spare pieces of junk and turning them into something useful. He’s mostly an introverted guy who enjoys playing with computers and car engines.

My mother, Karis, grew up in Iowa in a small farming town. She grew up with four sisters and one brother. One of her sisters moved to Boston after high school, and my mom joined her. She met my Dad out there and they dated for many years before getting married. Before the wedding, my Dad’s father, Antonio, died of colon cancer. He was a big part of the family. The stories I heard about Antonio stuck somewhere inside me. He reminded me of myself.

He was a stone mason by trade, but had a variety of jobs including tending a bar, landscaping, and serving as a forest ranger. On the weekends he played bocci, an Italian game also known as lawn bowling. Antonio made his own wine, and loved kids. He even watched  after his neighbor's garden. The deal was if he maintained the garden, he could share its harvest. At work he was called do-by-eye. When everyone else pulled out a tape measure or ruler, Antonio would measure everything by eye. I really wish I had gotten to meet him. Sometimes I feel like his spirit is around, guiding me.

My mom was home with Guy (my brother, short for Gaetano) and I often as we were growing up. But she also had a number of career paths including kitchenware sales, nannying, and tutoring. Where my dad had the street smarts, my mom had the book smarts. She’s exceptionally thoughtful and organized, which helped in running the household, and providing for my brother and I.

Growing up in the 2000s kids still played outside almost every day. Video games and Pokémon were entering pop culture. I remember one summer my mom made a deal with Guy and I. She said if we wanted to play one hour of Pokémon on our Gameboys, we had to first read a book for one hour. My mom is an insatiable reader, and I’m truly thankful to have picked up the habit of consistent reading from her.

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During middle school I began having very vivid dreams while sleeping. I was able to induce myself into lucid dreaming. Lucid dreaming is equal parts frustrating, breathtaking, powerful, and fragile. You must have some sort of method to check your reality, kind of like the movie Inception. Once you realize you are in a dream, you are able to take control of it and literally anything you can imagine and believe can unfold before your eyes.

There are a few notable rules that come into play, for my experience at least. Sometimes, when I realized I was in a dream, I would become so excited for what was to come that the excitatory energy would raise my brain waves from the sleeping state to the waking state. Once I was awake, I could not return to the lucid dream. This was particularly frustrating.

Many times I would realize I was in a dream, become too excited, and wake up. The opportunity for deeper exploration was lost. But when I did keep my excitement contained, I would indulge in the quest to fly. I dreamt of walking through my childhood neighborhood, and usually would start by jumping. If I didn’t believe with all my heart that I could graduate from jumping to flying, I returned to the ground. If I filled my heart with confidence and belief, I would soar all the way up through the clouds. It was one of the most exhilarating feelings I’ve ever felt. I would fly so fast I thought my stomach might eject from my mouth.

In hindsight, I believe these dreams were telling me I could do anything I imagined when I believed it with all my heart. The dreams also told me life wouldn’t be easy, it wouldn’t always work the way I wanted, and sometimes I’ll feel like throwing up. Dream, and believe in your dream. Use everything within you that can fuel your belief. Telling myself over and over again that I could fly, and really meaning it, ended up in me flying.

I encountered this phenomenon over and over as I grew older. For example, we would be on the road a little late to sports practice. I prayed over and over that the traffic would give us a path so we would make it on time, and it always ended up being ok. Maybe not right on the dot, but certainly not too late. In my college years I told myself over and over again that I would make the ball in the beer pong cup, and really believed it. You best believe I was sinking cups.

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Murrieta Valley High School Water Polo and its culture played a huge role in my high school years, shaping me into the man I would become. Freshman year, getting ‘pulled up’ to varsity was one of the ultimate honors. One defining moment was in summer training. Coach asked my best friend, Chris, and I if we wanted to swim with the big boys. We knew the swimming would suck. We also knew that we were somewhat ready. We said yes. Saying yes to challenges continued to be ingrained within me for the rest of my life.

My brother’s class was much larger than mine, and he was disappointed that he didn’t get pulled up early. We both transferred away from our friends to a different high school to play on the winning team in the region. In addition to our busy practice schedule, we were introduced to a new world of advanced classes and high school girls. This laid the groundwork for a stressful internal environment. My brother took not getting ‘pulled up’ to heart. Occasionally, he would get into conflicts with classmates and teachers at school.

One day he ran away from home with the intent of no return. My mom came and told me, she was pretty shook. She had been trying to call him all afternoon (it was night) but he ignored every call. I took a deep breath and pulled up his number. He answered right away. He said that God would provide the path for him and home isn’t where he needed to be right now. He sounded fairly distressed. I told him that we all loved him and wished he was here, but