Color Blind

By Dacie Zook

Color Blind by Dacie Zook

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 9, 2021
• ISBN: 9781638140030

Book preview

Chapter 1

Near Mine La Motte, Missouri Territory, 1820

Emma stood over her parents’ unfilled grave, her anguish built up in her like a stick of dynamite ready to go off. She struggled to contain it. It weakened her, making her weary and tired. She clutched the shovel like a cane, using it to support her exhausted body. She felt heavy in both her heart and limbs. Her whole body seemed to ache. It was like someone had squeezed every muscle she had, until all the strength drained out of them.

Most of her pain wasn’t physical, though her emotions were like the tide. One moment she was remembering the good times, then the next she was crying over the lost ones. Over and over, this went, wearing her down. She hated it. Life shouldn’t be so easily washed away. The memories of her parents shouldn’t hurt. Her mind continued to think back to their last moments and it haunted her.

Emma had wiped her pa’s drenched brow, her fingers shaking as they drew the rag over his clammy skin. She still couldn’t believe it had happened.

Pa had been so excited when he heard about the lead mines in the hills of the southeast Missouri Territory. It wasn’t hard to convince his Southern wife to move back to the frontier. They sold everything and loaded a wagon, prepared to start over in a new land.

Riding the trail with her parents had been tough, but fun. Emma saw a side of them she had never seen in the high society life of St. Louis.

Ma had always been a Southern belle. To most in St. Louis, she was a charming Southern lady; but to the elite, she had been a country bumpkin. Out here on the trail, it didn’t matter if Ma’s twang got a little out of hand. No one would have cared.

Pa was a bank teller, but that wasn’t his true passion. What he loved to do was tour the banks of the Mississippi River, going on his own personal explorations. When news about the lead mines reached Pa, he knew it was his chance for a real adventure. Ma, as always, supported her husband’s dreams and prayed this would be the journey he needed.

An image of Ma’s white face reminded her of the terrible illness that took her parents—scarlet fever. Her deep-brown hair was sweaty and tangled. Emma hadn’t had time to brush the thick mass as she cared for her parents. It seemed as if every day was endless, but still there wasn’t enough time for something so prided by her mother.

Pa’s once-full face had shrunk until it was almost unrecognizable. Jeremiah Watson was once a large built man, however the fever left him appearing frail. Looking at him now, Emma tried to imagine the thick-faced man who sang her bedtime songs, but she couldn’t.

It didn’t seem to matter how hard she had fought; the fever fought harder. The rising and falling of their chests had become their only sign of life in the last few days.

She thought of all the plans they had made for their future here—to farm, mine, be happy with the things they had even if they were little, and get closer to God in a land full of His beauty.

Emma didn’t know anymore. Now it seemed like a land Satan had cursed. Every day seemed so endless and draining as she hoped and prayed things would get better, but they never did.

Emma felt her own face grow hot, though not from the fever. She had already had the illness as a child. No, her face flamed with hot tears.

Emma had done all she could, but her parents still lay in their unfilled tombs. Her gut clenched as the reality slammed into her. She had failed them. They hadn’t made it, and it was all her fault.

Emma was seventeen. Her parents weren’t supposed to die yet. She still needed them. She needed her ma to teach her to be a wife and mother, to help her with her problems, and to be there to cry on. Most of all, she needed her pa to get her out of this wilderness. She had no idea where to go.

She had never expected to love someone and watch them die before her very eyes, to sit with them, day after day, as they slowly slipped away. The blame lay on her inexperienced shoulders, and it was just too much for the young woman to bear. Her shoulders slumped in despair as the weight of it crushed them.

Emma suddenly gasped. Her sweaty hand reached up to grip her neck in terror. Almost as if she was choking herself, her sobs came out in a painful, strangled sound. To Emma, it was painful because every breath she took, her parents didn’t take any; and they never would again.

Chapter 2

Akocha’s quiet footsteps seemed like rowah in a storm on a still morning. Though his soft knee-high moccasins cushioned his steps, it still seemed loud with nothing but cardinals and mockingbirds singing.

A crow cawed in the distance, and others nearby answered it. Squirrels barked, and a cardinal sang her warning call.

Akocha wasn’t alone in the forest.

He stopped walking, only to be thrown to the ground.

You are too loud, Akocha. I didn’t have to track you. I heard you from a mile away, Onsi said.

Akocha rolled his eyes. He and Onsi were the best hunters in the tribe. Onsi had followed him like he did every morning since they were little. Akocha had known he was there the whole time, but that wasn’t what had upset the animals.

Get off, Onsi. The crow has told me there is someone else out there. Do you want to meet an enemy without your bow? Akocha pushed up until Onsi rolled off of him, laughing silently.

Did the crow fly down and whisper that in your ear? he mocked softly. Onsi knew that Akocha read animals like he read tracks. They were as clear as fresh water to the Chickasaw brave.

Akocha didn’t respond to the jest because this time, the cry he heard was not from any bird. Onsi, hush! he whispered fiercely. Listen.

Onsi went silent, and Akocha again listened for the noise. For a long moment, it was quiet. Then he heard it.

The distant wailing tore at him. He knew that cry; it rang in his heart every time he thought of his father. Akocha had heard it so many times in the past that it had become an old friend. It haunted his happy days and fed his troubled ones.

The sobs deepened, tightening Akocha’s heartstrings. How could he let someone suffer the way he had? He started walking toward the noise.

No, Akocha! Onsi hissed at him. It must be a white woman way out here. If we help, the whites will hate us more than they do now. They always say we do things we did not.

Akocha didn’t stop, but he said over his shoulder, Did Jesus help the woman at the well even though His people hated hers?

*****

Emma stared at her parents’ blanket-covered forms in the ground. Burying them seemed so final. Too much like burying herself and all she has ever known. It was as if covering them with the earth would cover her hopes and dreams for life, because every dream she had included them. She wanted to live on a farm next to them, raising her family right next to them. Emma didn’t want to think about any of that now.

She shoveled another mound of dirt over their bodies. Her stomach rolled at the sound of dirt hitting her wonderful parents. It was so empty and hollow just like their bodies, devoid of souls. Thinking this made her want to scream and cry all at the same time. Emma shook, though she wasn’t sure if it was from rage or despair. The two emotions seemed the same to her. She stood there for a long moment, staring into the graves.

Would she always feel the way she felt right now—so full of sadness and anger that her mind was consumed by it? Why had God taken them? Didn’t He know how much she loved them? Emma needed them. She needed help.

Then her strength failed her. Emma’s knees buckled, and her desperate grip on the shovel loosened. She crumbled to the soft overturned ground that would fill her parents’ graves. Emma couldn’t do this any longer. She had tried to be strong, but she couldn’t. They were gone, and nothing was going to make this better.

She curled into a tight ball. Her thick chocolate hair fell from its untidy bun into her face, but she didn’t care. The thick hair hid her from the world like a curtain, saving her from the brightness of the day that should have been dark.

Emma wanted her family