Compassion beyond Understanding

By Mark Tomasello

This book is for anyone who is lost, who is marginalized or told they mean nothing, for all who can't seem to break free from their mistakes or who have been hurt by others, for anyone who would contemplate ending it all. It's for the backslider and the believer or the unbeliever. It is for the underdogs and those who have fallen on hard times.

It is a story about Jesus and his compassion beyond our understanding and his ability to bring change and show his love in a person's life. It will shed light on the truth of his love and his ability to forgive anything. He will teach you that all your mistakes are assets for others. He will come when no one else will. He will walk you through this life and be an ever-present help in a time of need. He will allow you to make mistakes and not judge you. He will cause you to reflect and learn from them. He is your biggest advocate. He believes in you when you don't. He knows you better than anyone or yourself. He loves you more than anyone on the planet, and he is just waiting on you to call for help. He really wants everyone to know of his compassion, and he has done everything he could to prove it to you. He loves to see you grow in faith.

But he loves when you will never give up because he never will give up on you. He has a perfect plan for your life even if you yourself can't see it. He hurts to see you hurt. He came for the lost and would say to the lost, "I am here for you." He wants to tell you who you really are. He wants only to teach you to love but to love yourself as he loves you. The love he has is like you are the only one on earth.

I invite you to experience his compassion beyond your understanding, to have an adventure with him like nothing else in existence, to know him and understand why you were made to fellowship with him forever. His desire is for you to be where he is forever. Let his love cast out all fear you have. He knows you need him and wants you to not be ashamed to come to him. The compassion he has is

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685707576

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Compassion beyond Understanding

Mark Tomasello

ISBN 978-1-68570-756-9 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68570-757-6 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Mark Tomasello

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

All Scriptures come from Defender Bible: KJV with expanded Aprocrypha

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Preface

My Beginnings

School Ski Club Trip Adventure

Back Home, Things Were Changing

Recap

Time to go, Time of Leaving Home and Coming Back Home

From New York to Houston, Texas, with No Clue of My Future

The Devil's Work that Is Always Looking for a Way to Come Back

God Started to Turn Me Back unto Him

Trip to Buffalo

The Holy Ghost and the Presence of the Lord Talks

Back to the Race

Off to the Races Not Knowing If We Could Even Finish the Race

Second Quarter Jehovah Rapha, the Lord that Provides, Threat of Harm, and Joy in the Morning

My Request Was Answered, My Lord Was Faithful to His Word, He Blesses Us to Be a Blessing

Satan and His Evil Hoard Are Never Gone but Just Wait to Kill, Destroy, and Steal

A Time of New Things Came

My Last Teen Conference as a Chaperone

Loss of My Earthly Advocate

Compassion of the Lord Leading Me in My Business

The Lord, in His Compassion, Helped My Heart to Change

Saving Grace for Those You Love and a Gift Given Back, Words Given, Later the Loss of My Second Advocate

Warning, Danger, Will Robinson!

My Second Marriage Disaster and a Repeat of My Past

Again, Warning, Danger Will Robinson!

Hard Fall, Great Rebound, His Compassion to Forgive Us

Recruitment

In the Lord's Compassion He Hears a Prayer for Truth

The Lord's Compassion in Discipling and Warring, the Authority, I Found Out Who I Am

One Word Can Cut You to Your Very Being, but It Is All About His Compassion

Beware of Deception

Finally, Deliverance from an Old Demon I Had No Idea I Had!

The Lord's Compassion, Answered Prayer, Provision to be Prepared

The Compassion of the Lord Continued Truth and Revelation, the Ekklesia, the Veil Has Been Lifted

Call to War, Armed with His Compassion and His Truth

A Frank Conversation, Discern the Seasons

Conclusions

Last thing I would like to do is pray for whoever reads this book

Invitation

Last Word

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About the Author

I dedicate this book to my Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ, who has shown me great compassion beyond my understanding.

Preface

First things first. I want to thank God the Father, his Son, and the Holy Ghost for not only my life but all the love and attention I have been afforded. Truly, he never forsakes us or leaves us. Although there have been many people who have told me to write this, many times the Lord has confirmed to me to do so. I say thank you to all. But a special thanks to a brother in Christ who lives in San Antonio, Texas, who just recently called me and really drove home who it would be helpful to. All my brothers and sisters in Christ or yet to be who feel they never had a chance to shine or felt marginalized or forgotten. Thank you, James, through the Lord, you got me off my behind to finally, after fifty-seven years of life, to do this. I also would like to thank my parents who did their very best to instill into me being kind and helpful to others.

I would like to start with a prayer that I feel is not just for me but all God's quiet, prayerful, and overlooked children. Again, they are oftentimes never seen because they are not as loud, nor do they try to capture the limelight. We are all they that truly have no guile as the Lord said in John 1:47. So the prayer he led me today is Luke 1:47–55, which is Mary's prayer just so you know. I did change handmaiden to servant for anyone who serves.

And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my savior. For he hath regarded the low estate of his (servant): for behold, from hence forth all generations shall call me blessed. For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name. And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation. He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts. He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree. He hath filled the hungry with good things and the rich he hath sent empty away. He hath helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy; As he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed forever. Amen

So if you were ever told that you are not good enough or that you would not amount to anything or not achieve your dreams or any stinking thing the enemy would have others say to you, I just want to say it is all lies straight from the pit of hell! I want to tell all of you that you are the special gems that the Lord holds to himself, all your struggles to overcome, as well as you're never staying down when you are knocked down. The enemy just can't keep you there. For all times, you wished you were not even born or said to the Lord, How could he love me or even like me? When you have been at the very bottom of things, somehow you found a way to keep going. We are long-suffering, put down, lied on, and treated horribly. I say you are the best of the best—kind, forgiving, and willing to help when there is no reward, never asking for much but love and acceptance. I only wish the world was a little kinder and gentler than the fallen state in which it is in. If you are not social and like to spend time alone not by choice but because there is not much good that you see out there, on the other hand you pray aloud or many silent prayers for others more than yourself, your confidence has been stripped away by all you know, you stay positive and in the game. You work to do for the ones you love, denying many things for yourself.

Well, all I have described is the right stuff, as they would like to say. You have a servant's heart and are humble and contrite, which, in my opinion, are people who are teachable and worthy of knowledge. Oftentimes, we are blind to our own gifts. We judge ourselves often and way too much. We are the 20 percent that will do the heavy lifting with no complaint or compliment. We are satisfied with little and don't ask for much. If this is you, the Lord has a message for you. Tell them I still love them! Also, I say your reward is not from the world or from people. It is from him and his kingdom, and it is so great. So hold on! It will come, and along the way, spend time with him who loves you more than anyone on this planet, more than parents or children or anything or one you can imagine. Think to yourself all the people that love you. He loves you more. He also thinks about you every day. Remember this when you partake in him, remembering what he did for you one time or less a week.

Okay, I definitely ranted some there, but it is only part of what we have to deal with. There is so much more, not to mention all that mock us for believing in God or his Son, Christ Jesus, the Lord of lords and King of kings.

This is my story, or I think really his story. My hope is that you will have renewed hope, that what he has started he will also finish. And if you don't know him yet, you really should because he can do what you can't, and again, he is closer than you would imagine and is dying to fellowship with you and be your all in all. For if he is with you, who can stand against you? Also, no weapon formed against you will prosper.

This is my goal or attempt, to share with anyone who will have ears to hear my life and what the Lord has done with me and to tell you he can do the same with you. It will hopefully be entertaining and not boring, to the point but not too long-winded. It will be truthful, and I will share the good, the bad, and the ugly things of my life. I want to hold back nothing. I am not perfect, by no means. As I like to say, I am no better than anyone and also no worse than anyone as well. This well brings you to the point of where I am today, August 2021. This also is not the end of my story. The Lord is not done with me yet.

O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Though Knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. (Psalm 139:1–5)

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. (Psalm 139:13–18)

My Beginnings

Where My Story Starts

So I begin the story with being born into this world. March 18, 1965 I came to be the son of Salvatore and Judith. I am the youngest and have a sister four and a half years older. My mother was the oldest and had only one brother, but my dad came from a family of thirteen children. I only say this because it becomes relevant later. Both their families come from different places, my mom's side from Ireland and my dad's came from Sicily. I was born in Buffalo, New York, on the west side of the city in a predominately Italian area.

At the age of one or so, I had a problem. I had a cyst that caused me to only have the use of half my face, half a smile or look and so on. I was described as being a very happy child but had that issue. So I was told a team of eight doctors operated on me to correct the problem. I was told they had to cut me from my chin going to the ear and around, so it looked like someone cut my throat. Long story short, it was one of the first ever attempted and was successful. After a long operation, my mom came to see me in one of those plastic boxes all wired up, and she said I was just as happy as I could be. She looked at me with amazement and was relieved to see my problem was fixed. She remembered getting on the elevator and throwing up all over everyone on the elevator. I can't imagine what she went through, and we were not rich, so no telling how much it must have cost. My dad was a construction laborer in the union, and my mom was a teacher's aide at the school I went to, school no. 52 K-8.

I was an average kid who had to take Redlin. I was diagnosed with hyperactivity, but not like other kids. I had a hard time doing one thing at a time. But I am very talkative, still am. I have had to work hard at being a listener. My mom took me off the drug because I would never eat until night. I used to give my lunches to kids all the time. I was a very protective kid and would also talk to anyone, a bum on the street or the old man on the street or play with a kid down the street who was a special-needs child.

My dad had to work very hard doing construction as most of his brothers. I remember going to my grandparents' house every Sunday for pasta. I really loved my dad's family. It was big, loud, and crazy; but what I really liked was there was so much love in it, just a normal blue-collar family.

Of course, I was raised in the Catholic Church, as most of my friends. I remember the first time in church when I really was impressed by the Lord, and probably one of the only messages I ever retained as a child was when I heard the story about Jesus calling the first disciples, saying to them follow me. I think I was about six or seven years old. We came home, and I said to my parents if Jesus calls me, I will have to go. They just looked at me, thinking I wanted to be a priest, but I never thought that. I said I would have to leave. So they said, No, Mark, you're going to have a normal life and have a family. I used to talk to the Lord all the time about just anything and pray to be a successful person, and at night, I would pray hard that kids around the world have food to eat and have a happy life and I would grow to be a doer of all the good works Jesus did, feeding and healing people. I would say, God, I want to be like your son, even before I even really knew about him. I loved superheroes, but I thought how little they were in comparison to Jesus.

So Just to tell you, I was that kid who would say, Mom, I threw the baseball a mile today, but it was really only thirty yards. Or I would say I can do anything no matter what it was. I said, I can do that. Most people would just laugh at me and say, Oh okay. I was also a kid that would protect others and even fight for them. I always had a sense of care for others more than myself a little more than most. During that time, I guess I was about ten.

I was having a very hard time adjusting, had friends, but let's just say the whole class would never come to my birthday. Maybe one or two, three at the most. I regret to say I told the devil at that time if he could make me normal and popular. I would sell him my soul. Then I always felt like something was around me at night in bed. I would be afraid, and many times, I felt like I couldn't move. I was paralyzed and could never fight back. Something was attacking me on a regular basis. I was smoking and had already smoked weed.

By time I was twelve, I had my first hit of LSD. Thank God the older kid stayed with me the whole night. We slept in the middle of a field in lounge chairs. In the morning, he brought me home and told my parents I spent the night. He lived behind us. I was popular but not quite the same kid, still cared for others but personally a mess. I had thoughts of suicide and would hate myself so much I would hurt and cut myself. I had also had my first experience with porn and had been drawn into my first homosexual act. I masturbated regularly. Before that, I was the kind of kid when I had my first girlfriend and she would tell me she smoked, I would right away breakup with her. Wow, I had become a real hypercritic early on. Just a bit of advice, never say that you will not do what others do. You might find yourself doing just that. I did play baseball and football and all the other stuff until I hurt my back one year. Till this day, I don't know if it was something I was born with or had happened playing football.

A had another problem and spent almost a whole school year in the hospital, being tested with little or no results until a doctor I had never seen came by one day. His name was Dr. Godfrey. I came to find out later he was the Buffalo Bills bone specialist. I was in a lot of pain, and he was brought in to figure out what others could not. Long story short, he did and fast. My fifth vertebra was out of line. I ended up doing some therapy and had to wear a very uncomfortable brace for two years until the bone would grow back into place, but sports was a no-go after that for the most part, no football for sure, which was fine for me. The coach was always mad that I didn't have a killer instinct and only would give 80 percent. Well, I was always a starter at every sport. So I am glad for that. That would stop me from ever being a jock, so I really gravitated toward the party people.

After sixth grade, my parents decided to send me to a Catholic school. It was supper hard. I was a B student to start with, but when I made the switch, I was a C or D student there. By the eighth grade, one of my friends blamed me for something he did. I think it was drawing dirty pictures or something, and they kicked me out. I thought to myself, I can't even draw well. Anyway, I graduated back at the public school at the top of the class. My parents wanted me to go to St. Joseph's, but instead, I went to the public high school with my friends.

My life became darker and darker. I stopped hanging around my friends my age and instead hung around older kids that did lots of drugs and they drank a ton. My poison of choice was drugs. My parents divorced, and all hell broke out in my life. Dad gone, mom trying to find a way to support us and have a life she never got to have, and my sister was going to college, I was left on my own, able to do whatever I pleased. Drugs were a staple in my life for a long, long time. I received an award for missing the most days. All the teachers hated me and said I was going to amount to nothing, die or go to jail or a drug rehab clinic.

I remember one of the few times I saw my dad. He was teaching me to drive. At the end, he was dropping me off. He said something very strange. He said, Mark, you're going to do great things for God. I just looked at him, and thought, Hm, I don't know about that. I just got out and went in. I would party a lot with my friends at the school playground/parking lot, and all the police knew us.

One day, the subject of Jesus came up. I don't remember how or why, but I said, He is the Lord of lords and the King of kings. My friends all mocked me over it. But I meant it. Later that year, I remember a couple of guys coming up to us talking about Jesus, and I was inclined to listen but not my friends. So I passed on hearing what they had to say. Later we broke in the small church near the school. We didn't take any money or anything of great value at least to us. I did take a rod iron cross I liked. That was it. I don't think we took anything of value, but I did feel really bad about it.

I was so high that year I don't even remember if I graduated into the tenth grade. It was a year after my parents divorced and