Marriage the Way God Intended

By Dr. Nicole Witherspoon

Marriage the Way God Intended was divinely written by the inspiration of God through the Holy Spirit and provides tools and resources to heal marriages. Statistics reveal that nearly half of all marriages will end in divorce. However, God created marriage, and he intended for marriage to last until death separates us. Having a marriage the way God intended requires love, forgiveness, self-discipline, wisdom, and patience.

In 2020, we experienced a global pandemic that significantly impacted marriages and families all over the world. This experience reminded us just how short and precious life is. Each of us only have a certain amount of time to live and love well. Therefore, we should make the best out of every opportunity we get to live together as husband and wife.

Marriage is a covenant and a covenant relationship is a sacrificial permanent relationship. God created marriages to be beautiful, and there is no greater relationship between mankind that is greater or more important than marriage. Declare today that no weapon that is formed against you or your marriage shall prosper. You will have a happy marriage that last until death separates you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jan 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9781685708580

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Marriage the Way God Intended

Dr. Nicole Witherspoon

ISBN 978-1-68570-857-3 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68570-858-0 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Dr. Nicole Witherspoon

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Institution of Marriage

Yield Not to Temptation

Stand Together

The Vow

God's Will

Keep the Peace

Unbreakable

Break the Cycle

Fulfill Your Spouse's Desires

A Ruth and Boaz Kind of Love

The Right Motives

The Way God Intended

The Two Shall Become One

A Sustainable Marriage

Don't Get Caught in the Trap

About the Author

In loving memory of my aunt, the late Glenda Dee Dee Mack (January 1, 1963–December 12, 2012). This book is dedicated to her husband/my uncle Leon Mack. Our families were always inspired by the twenty-eight years of marriage that you shared together from September 15, 1984, until Dee Dee's death on December 12, 2012. Your marriage was a true example of real love and marriage the way God intended.

Acknowledgments

To God be the glory! This book was divinely written by the inspiration of God through the Holy Spirit. God placed the desire on my heart to write a book and create a workbook that would help strengthen marriages and families. Writing this book and creating this workbook has been a long journey, but I know that it was truly by the grace of God that I was able to finish strong. Marriage requires hard work and dedication, and every marriage can be happy and last until death separates you.

I have been blessed with a loving family and would like to thank them for their continual love and support in all of my endeavors. To my parents, Willie and Mary Witherspoon, you are the greatest parents anyone can have. Much love goes out to my siblings Everett, Myrita (Dale), and Shanta. To my nieces and nephews Kyanna, DaQuan, Jordan, Adriana, Adrian Jr. AJ, Amari, and Elijah you bring so much love and joy to our family. I love you all with all my heart.

A special thank-you goes out to my spiritual mom, El-Brenda Wiley. You cover me daily with your prayers, and I thank you for the love and support that you always provide to me. To my extended family (the Witherspoons and Scotts), thank you for always encouraging and supporting me. To all my dear friends and church family, I cannot thank you enough for your encouragement, prayers, and support.

1

Institution of Marriage

God created marriage and He intended for marriage to last a lifetime or until death separates us. Genesis 1:1 (NLT ) says, In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. On day six, God created human beings in his own image. When God formed the man from the dust of the ground, He breathed the breath of life into the man's nostrils, and the man became a living person. In Genesis 2:18–22, Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.' So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals; but still, there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

Genesis 24 tells of the story of Isaac and Rebekah. Abraham sent his servant to his homeland to find a wife for his son Isaac. Abraham's servant prayed to God and asked for God's help on picking the right wife for Isaac. Abraham's servant was standing beside a well, and the young women of the town were coming out to draw water. Abraham's servant asked God to show him a sign. The servant said that he would ask the women to give him a drink from their jug and if she said, Yes, have a drink, and I will give your camels drink also, then he would know that she is the one God had selected as Isaac's wife.

Before the servant finished praying, he saw a young woman named Rebekah coming out with her water jug on her shoulder. The servant ran over to her and said, Please give me a little drink of water from your jug.

She answered, Yes, my lord, and gave him a drink. When she had given him a drink, she said, I'll draw water for your camels too until they have had enough to drink. Therefore, the servant knew that Rebekah was the one God had chosen for Isaac to marry, and as you can see, God truly brought Rebekah unto the man.

Genesis 29 tells of another story about Jacob and Rachel. Jacob met Rachel and Laban, her father, and stayed and worked for Laban for about month when Laban told Jacob that he should not work for him without pay just because they were relatives. Laban told Jacob to tell him how much his wages should be. Laban had two daughters Leah and Rachel. There was no sparkle in Leah's eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful figure and lovely face. Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father that he would work for him for seven years if he would give Rachel as his wife.

Laban agreed and Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. When the time came for Jacob to marry Rachel, Laban brought Leah to Jacob instead. When Jacob woke up the next morning and realized that it was Leah instead of Rachel, he went to Laban and questioned what he had done. Laban told him that it is not their custom for the younger daughter to get married before the older daughter, but if he worked another seven years for him, then he will give him Rachel too. Jacob agreed and worked another seven years for Laban and eventually married Rachel. How hard are you willing to work for your spouse?

God chose to make woman from man's flesh and bone to illustrate to us how in marriages the man and the woman are joined together, and the two are united into one. It is important to point out how God instructed the man to leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. The man and woman will now have their own family and should leave their parents out of their marriage. Not only should parents be left out of your marriage but also other family members, friends, and other men or women who are not your husband or wife. You will not be able to cleave to your spouse if you do not leave.

The purpose for marriage is oneness. Husbands and wives should be so unified that they become one. Marriages are important enough to God that He gave us special instructions to help us have and keep a happy successful marriage. Does this mean that your marriage will be perfect? No, it does not. There are no perfect marriages because there are no perfect people.

Our desire should be to not have a stony heart but a heart that is pure. There is no oneness if either spouse has a heart of stone. Love cannot come in and love cannot go out. Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT) says, And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.

It takes work to have and keep a happy successful marriage, and one person cannot do it alone. God created us for companionship, and a companion can help us accomplish more than we could achieve on our own. The beauty of companionship is found in Ecclesiastes 4:9–12. The New Living Translation of these verses says that two people are better than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. The three cords represent a husband, a wife, and God. These three form a close relationship that is not easily broken.

In order to have a successful marriage, there are certain qualities that each spouse must have. The first quality is mutual respect: there is no exception for respect in the marriage relationship. The husband must have respect for his wife, and the wife must have respect for her husband. Without mutual respect, there can be continual conflict in the marital relationship. The second quality is mutual concern: the husband should put his wife's needs above his own needs, and likewise, the wife should put her husband's needs above her own needs. When husbands and wives satisfy and meet each other's need, the chances of going outside of the marriage to get your needs met can decrease.

The third quality is mutual sharing: when two people get married, everything they have is to be shared. What's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours is how it should be and not what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine. The fourth quality is compromising: there is no problem that cannot be solved if the people involved are willing to solve it. In a marriage, the couple must be able to come to an understanding and meet each other halfway. If necessary, agree to disagree without strife.

The fifth quality is mutual love: love is the most important ingredient in any marriage.

First Corinthians 13:4–7 (NLT) says that,

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.

The sixth quality is mutual trust: in the marital relationship, each person must learn to trust each other. When a spouse is deceived by another spouse, the deceiving spouse should do all he or she can to rebuild that trust. It is difficult being in a relationship with someone you cannot or do not trust. The seventh quality is total commitment: When two people get married, they are to be totally committed to each other. Let no one split apart what God has joined together (Mark 10:9 NLT). There must be a loving connection and a permanent commitment.

It is important to keep God not only as the head of your lives but also as the head of your marriage.