Necessary Evil: The Path to Self-Forgiveness Part 1: Childhood

By Pastor Warrior

In self-forgiveness, the most important thing to remember is that God cannot forgive us unless we forgive ourselves, the true us, the one that no one sees. It is time to bury the skeletons, place the worms back in the soil, and defeat this tactic of the devil: self-unforgiveness. It is high time we face ourselves in the mirror and look at our true selves and at our true identity beyond the facade, then replace it with God's image and see who we really are. For it says clearly in the Word of God, in 1 Cor. 13:12 (KJV), "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." So now look, look hard, and you will see in the mirror the image of God, designed to forever worship Him for all eternity in Spirit and truth (John 4:23). God is my guidance in writing this book. Every word is inspired by Him, even the format when something is written. Again, as we begin this journey together, I must warn you there will be triggers, memories, and other things that are too harsh for a new Christian. This is for only mature Christians, period. This journey is not for the faint of heart, but I say, do not lose heart. There is freedom at the end of this road of Necessary Evil: The Path of Self-Forgiveness. We will cover the following in this book:What are the Types of Forgiveness and Their Definition?Where I Am Coming From?How It Affected MeWhat God Has to Say DoubtAlbert Allen: Journey Is the Destination and the Destination Is the Journey

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098064693

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Necessary Evil

The Path to Self-Forgiveness Part 1: Childhood

Pastor Warrior

Copyright © 2020 by Pastor Warrior

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

What Are the Types and Definition of Forgiveness in General?

Where I Am Coming From

How It Affected Me

What God Has to Say

Doubt

Albert Allen: Journey Is the Destination and the Destination Is the Journey

Pastor Warrior: Proverbs 31 Beautify Ministries

Ministry for Women Veterans Recovery

Journey is the destination and destination is the journey.

—Albert Allen

Introduction

Good afternoon, good morning, good evening, or whenever you’re reading this book. This is Necessary Evil: The Path of Self-Forgiveness. I am Pastor Warrior. Everything in this book is coded—the people, places, and even things. Everything is put in a metaphoric phrase, yet it is a detailed account of the horrific, true, real-life events that really happened to me. This warning goes out: this is only for mature Christians! The ones who are truly ready for the path to self-forgiveness. Necessary Evil: The Path to Self-Forgiveness is so necessary. The very purpose of this book is to let readers know my journey in accomplishing freedom of unforgiveness and to detail the harshness of my life, which has led to many issues and has affected the different patterns of decisions that led me to this point in my life.

Because of the conviction of the Holy Ghost, I began the journey to freedom through self-forgiveness and finding God’s forgiveness. God’s complete and unconditional grace with mercy allowed me to forgive myself and allowed God to forgive me as a whole person, but who has not yet arrived. This is only part I of a series of books.

Mark 11:25–26 talks about forgiveness so that God can forgive us. This includes you, the personal you, the real you, the you that no one sees, not even your husband. Your true self. I was confronted by this when I was forced recently to undergo PTSD rehab at a local VA clinic. As an inpatient, I had to write down one of my traumas. I thought I only had a few, come to find out I have over forty years of trauma to deal with in a professional setting. Then COVID-19 hit, thus ended my haven, my zen, so some would say, to deal with the horrific traumas. I realized I was being sent back to the world unglued and in a chaotic fashion. So the next three days of the beginning of the month, the therapist put a nice bow, if you want to say, on me and sent me on my way. This was a regular discharge because they had to disband the PTSD rehab due to the virus, and the ones with money and/or a home had to leave. This meant me.

So I left unsure of myself and the world. However, this cultivated to this book that you are now holding or reading on Kindle or some other form or fashion you’re reading this. People have inspired me to do this book and have left footprints upon my life and my heart along the way. I attribute this mostly to my struggles and the traumas I experience but most especially to the family that have kept more secrets from me, their true selves. I strongly believe they do not even know who they are or who they belong to even though they are saved.

I come from a long legacy of a Christian heritage, warriors, hunters, and even royalty; yet many secrets remain. Some just finding out and others. I have come to this realization, will never find out. However, little did my family realize that those decisions to keep secrets would shape my life’s patterns of abuse, bad decisions, and even at one point, push me away from God. But rest assure God is my source and is my pure strength and inspiration for writing this book for mature Christians so they will understand that this necessary evil must be conquered in order to be free and complete in God. All the skeletons in our lives must come out of the closets and be buried, not stuffed back in. We must look at our dead resolves and secrets, even our forced sins; take inventory; see how not to repeat the cycle to the next generation; and then bury it. This has caused us self-loathing, hatred, and even self-abuse. This unforgiveness of ourselves has caused physical, soulish, and even mental anguish between ourselves and our environment.

But I can clearly say I am on the path to freedom and that God is my source for strength and courage as I become very vulnerable and transparent on what it was like to be a pastor kid and the expectations that were expected of me.

God is my guidance in writing this book. Every word is inspired by Him, even the format when something is written. Again, as we begin this journey together, I must warn you there will be triggers, memories, and other things that are too harsh for a new Christian. This is for only mature Christians, period. This journey is not for the faint of heart, but I say, do not lose heart. There is freedom at the end of this road of Necessary Evil: The Path to Self-Forgiveness.

Let us begin.

What Are the Types and Definition of Forgiveness in General?

Forgiveness has many forms; however, there are few types. We are only going to discuss three types of forgiveness. I feel they are types because that is the way the Bible describes them. There is unbelief, hatred, and other types along these lines. However, we are only going to discuss unforgiveness, forgiveness, and, the most important that I am learning with you, self-forgiveness.

What is forgiveness in general, what does it stand for, and above all why is it so important? Forgiveness is important because without it, God cannot forgive us, according to Mark 11:25–26. Forgiveness, according to the Webster Dictionary, is "to cease to feel resentment against (offender):