Finding Peace In An Imperfect World: Applying God's Principles to Calm Real-Life Chaos

By Jason Newsome

Finding Peace in an Imperfect World is more than just a book. With an intentional blend of biblical truth and mental health principles and practice, it is a guide for you to have real peace in your life. Dr. Newsome uses a direct style with real-life, practical application of biblical principles. His writing will help you tackle real-life problems. This book has one purpose: to help you understand as well as put an end to chaos in your life. It does this by helping you do the following: 1. Understand what a life of peace is 2. Discover the real source of turmoil and chaos 3. Dive deep into your life experiences 4. Change the way you think about yourself, God, and life 5. Learn to apply new thinking in practical ways that will bring peace to your life As you apply the approaches in this book, you will rid yourself of the turmoil that happens in your thoughts and emotions. You will be able to make the changes necessary to go over life's speed bumps without turning them into a roller coaster.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 13, 2017
• ISBN: 9781635757262

Book preview

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Finding Peace

in an

Imperfect World

Applying God’s Principles to Calm Real-Life Chaos

Jason E. Newsome

ISBN 978-1-63575-725-5 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63575-726-2 (Digital)

Copyright © 2017 by Jason E. Newsome

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

296 Chestnut Street

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

While all the stories in this book are based on real-life experiences, all names and potentially identifying details, including details of the actual stories, have been fictionalized to protect the privacy of the people involved.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked (NCV) are taken from the New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

Dedication

To my amazing wife, Stacy, and my children, James, Aubrey, Madelyn, and Grayson.

Always search for truth and allow it to

guide your life.

I love you.

Foreword

Have you ever had a moment when something small, like a simple smell or visual cue, triggered a pivotal memory from your childhood?

One afternoon, I was having a great conversation with a friend. The smell of bacon and the sight of brown-and-orange patterned wallpaper led to an avalanche of emotions. Suddenly, I was eight years old all over again.

It was Saturday morning, and GI Joe had just defeated Destro, when I heard a loud noise outside. I looked out the window and saw my dad’s bright orange Oldsmobile. I was filled with excitement, as I hadn’t seen him in so long! But quickly, my joy was transformed into confusion and fear. I heard my parents arguing using words I didn’t understand, like child support and visitation.

The argument escalated until my dad told us to go get in his car, and my mom screamed for my brother and me to go and lock ourselves in our room. I was just learning basic arithmetic, and my brother couldn’t even tie his shoelaces yet, but we were being asked to make a choice between the two people whom we loved most in this world.

What would you do? How would you respond?

I knew that no matter which decision I made in that moment someone would get hurt. I grabbed my brother (who was still dragging his Funshine Bear) and ran toward the Oldsmobile. I will never forget my mom’s crying face inside the front screen door as I said to myself, At least Mommy is safe.

As this memory flooded my spirit, a tear fell from my eye, and I was transported back to my present-day conversation with my friend. He wondered where my mind had taken me for the last minute. I then told him the story, and he asked me, Who taught your parents to be parents? You know, Stephen, there is no school for parents.

As I reflected on the truth of his statement, I realized that oftentimes a father who can’t control his rage raises a son who struggles with anger. A mother who suffers from depression has a daughter who lives in fear and anxiety. We can only teach what we have already learned.

My good friend Dr. Newsome has worked diligently to offer you a resource where you can gain knowledge, perspective, and principles that you can learn and grow from. I invite you to take yourself on a journey toward new potential and the peace that passes all understanding. No matter where you have been or what you may have been through, you can have peace, and have it abundantly. In all my years of traveling, speaking, and writing, one thing I know about true transformation is the importance of a plan. Dr. Newsome written this book for you and has laid out a plan that anyone can follow.

For me, this plan involved breaking free from seeing myself as the terrified kid who had to choose between his parents and discovering that peace could be found in every obstacle. You see, obstacles are not simply something that we go through, around, or over. When we truly confront and overcome an obstacle, it becomes part of us. It functions as a teaching tool that not only helps us define who we are as individuals but also helps us perceive the world differently and take action. Instead of tripping over the obstacles in our path again later in life, we can own them and make them ours. When we overcome them, these obstacles, like bricks, can be used to lay the foundation for success.

Overall, this book is not about becoming successful as much as it is about preparing you for more potential in yourself than you might have ever thought possible. It’s about adding value—to yourself, your family, and the world around you. You can actually create peace and prosperity in your life, and when you do, everyone benefits.

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding. (Albert Einstein)

To Dr. Jason Newsome, I am so proud to call you my friend and am honored to have had this opportunity to share a few words from my heart. Your diligence, heart, passion, and even the pain you once faced have culminated in a great resource for anyone truly wanting to break free and have peace beyond what was once pain. God bless you, brother!

—Stephen Scoggins

Author of The Journey Principles

Founder of the Journey Principles Institute

Clayton, North Carolina

Acknowledgments

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were: any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.

—John Donne (1572–1631)

Excerpt from Mediation 17, Devotions upon Emergent Occasions, 1624

It is difficult to imagine any of us getting very far in our lives on our own. I have been blessed to be surrounded by amazing people who influence and help me daily. As Donne’s words state, I would be less without such wonderful people in my life. I hope you keep rubbing off on me, pushing me, and encouraging me that I may be a better man tomorrow than I am today.

I must first thank God for giving His love, His grace, His mercy, and His Word. I am blessed beyond measure.

It is with deepest gratitude that I offer my heartfelt thanks to the most beautiful woman in the world. Stacy, you continue to both love and inspire me every day. Every time I told you I couldn’t, you reminded me I could. Your love and encouragement is a truly immeasurable part of my life and this project. Thank you for your love and your heart for helping others.

My assistant, Karen, who offered support, correction, suggestion, and managed my schedule to get this thing done. I am forever grateful to you, and I am thrilled to have you on our team. You are a gem.

I am tremendously thankful for my pastors, David and Deborah Wall. You have become a second set of parents to me. Your encouragement and belief in me have been truly priceless. Both of you are people of God who are exceptional beyond measure. You are great blessings to me and my family, and I love you dearly.

Finally, to my parents. I am thankful to have a loving father who remains in my life and to have had a caring mother who has gone on to her eternal home. Thank you for giving me the character to love others and work hard. Dad, I was seventeen when you told me, If you fail, that’s okay. Don’t ever fail because you didn’t try hard enough. With eleven of us, I’m sure you have forgotten that statement. I never have.

Introduction

God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.

(C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

As I typed the quote you just read, I chuckled a little. Not because the quote is funny but because I remember all the ridiculous ways I have tried to find peace in my own life. I have tried to produce it through my own flawed ideas and beliefs and come up short. As I have gone along, I discovered that one of my major problems was allowing my negative life experiences to control too much of my thinking. I am still learning how to allow God’s truth to change the way I think about Him, myself, others, and how things work. I have learned this is where we can find true peace of mind.

All of us have been through struggles. Our lives begin leaving the warm comfort of our mother’s womb into a world that is far less comfortable. The imperfect world in which we live presses on us. We have stress, trauma, broken relationships, failed businesses, loss of loved ones, and every other circumstance imaginable. These problems rob us of peace—sort of. And that is the reason for this book. The sort of part is why I decided to write this.

We spend too much of our time and effort looking outside of ourselves in search for peace. In reality, the chaos and turmoil we experience is the result of our own belief systems that get corrupted as we go through life. I know, I know. I didn’t want to admit that either. Me not admitting it did not make it less true. The great news is that we can change. Yes, that means you. That is what this book is about—change.

This book is not about my story. It is not my personal memoir. It is a book about finding peace in spite of the world in which we live. My prayer for you is that God will help you find His truth and make changes accordingly. I hope that God speaks to you through the following pages and this book helps in some way to point you toward your own change.

You can have peace in your life. That does not mean everything will clear up and be rosy. No matter the changes you make, you will still be imperfect, and so will the world. However, getting rid of the turmoil between your ears will go a long way. You can have peace in your life.

Father in heaven, as the readers take in the information, challenges, and strategies in this book, I pray that You will help

them discover Your truth about who You are, who they are,

and the peace that comes from a relationship with You.

I pray that You will help them rid themselves of chaos and turmoil. I ask that You will help them find the courage to change as well as the strength to maintain it. In Jesus’s name, amen.

Chapter 1

An Imperfect World

Man, who is born of woman,

is short-lived and full of turmoil. (Job 14:1, NASB)

October 22, 1999, was a typical Friday at work. I was planning on visiting my brother the next day at the hospital. He had been undergoing treatment for brain cancer for several months after a surgery that left him unable to talk. He was admitted to deal with some side effects of chemotherapy. I was looking forward to seeing him. Then I got the call in the early afternoon.

My thirty-one-year-old brother had died that morning. I attended his funeral a few days later. The funeral was in my brother’s church. It was a small country church. In my family, funerals are a time when everyone whom you have ever known, everyone whom you should have known, and everyone who knew someone you should have known comes to say one last good-bye.

There are a lot of local traditions with funerals. In my region, it is customary for attendees to walk by the casket at the end of the funeral service. It is a final good-bye of sorts. Often, there is an exit near the casket. My brother’s funeral was in his church, and either there was no exit near the casket, they weren’t using it, or I had chosen to walk out using a different route. I honestly don’t remember. Whatever the case, I turned and walked back down the aisle in the middle of the sanctuary. And that’s when it happened.

As I turned and walked back down the aisle, I came face-to-face with him. There he stood. This man standing in front of me was the last of five people who molested me as a child. I had not seen him in years. And now, in that place, under those circumstances, we met.

The moment our eyes met, everything else faded away. In a split second, I was transported through time more than a decade before that moment. My mind travelled back to the age of eleven, when this man began sexually abusing me. I stood there for a few seconds. It seemed like half an hour. I looked at the man. I didn’t say a word.

My silence was as much an attempt to not spew my emotions as not knowing what to say. My closed lips and clenched teeth built a gate to hold back the herd of conflicting emotions that were running wild. Have you ever had one of those moments when you had no idea what to do? Have you ever felt so many emotions at once you didn’t know which one was the biggest? That’s where I was.

I didn’t know if I should just keep walking, say something, or punch the guy in the face. In this moment of grief for my family and friends, the pain of my past was unexpectedly put in front of me. It was as if my past hurts had chased me down and caught up with me in the worst of circumstances. I felt sadness at losing my brother, but