God Said No: Why the fires of my life were necessary

By Michele Moran

How could something so terrible in my eyes, so breaking to my heart, and so devastating to my family be used for good?

After many years of what felt like being wide awake in the middle of a nightmare, I came to grips with my broken heart. It's hard to comprehend the fact that something good could come from watching your child suffer, but I realized, this is all part of God's plan. Have you been there? Though my story is different than yours, if you apply what I have learned to your situation, I am confident you will find hope.

Whether you are praying for a miracle, a healing, a breakthrough, or maybe you're just praying for normal, my hope is that if I can stand boldly and say I would do my life all over again and not change one single thing because of the beauty God has brought to it, then you will be able to as well.

Just as God promised me in Romans 8:28, not one tear I have shed has been wasted because all my life I had been working on my testimony without even realizing it. What I saw as broken, God was displaying as beautiful.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

--Romans 8:28 NLT

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9798885403665

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God Said No

Why the fires of my life were necessary

Michele Moran

ISBN 979-8-88540-365-8 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88685-635-4 (hardcover)

ISBN 979-8-88540-366-5 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Michele Moran

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Introduction

Marriage

The Phone Call That Changed Everything

Yeah, Right, I Bet You Know What I'm Going Through

Spiritual Warfare

Home at Last

Character over Comfort

Somebody's Knocking, Should I Let Them In?

Be Careful as to What Calms Your Storm

Identifying the Impostor

Seed of Hate

Working My Way Back to My First Love

Working on the Marriage

Teach, Preach, Heal

Who Is God?

Author's Note

About the Author

Introduction

I wish I had your life. Those six little words baffled me as they unexpectedly leaped into the conversation, rendering me speechless. In that one moment, every struggle, every heartache, every loss, and every trial I had suffered rushed through my mind, quickly followed by amazement. In awe of her words, my mind screamed, This person knows me. She knows my struggles and heartaches, past and present. She knows my life—yet wishes it were hers? I wasn't even sure whether to end that loud thought with an exclamation point or a question mark. There is no way God could be using this for good! How could something so terrible in my eyes, so breaking to my heart, and so devastating to my family be for good?

Then God opened my eyes as to how He would use my life to impact others, revealing His plan, His calling for me, and showing me why the fires in my life were necessary. Like Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego, God had brought me through the fire, and no one even smelled the smoke! God used those six words, I wish I had your life, to reveal that His promise spoken in Romans 8:28 is true. Not one tear I have shed has been wasted because all my life I had been working on my testimony without even realizing it. What I saw as broken, God was displaying as beautiful.

No one is spared; we all have a story of heartache and trials. God has placed a desire deep in me to share mine. You may read my story, and although quite different than yours, you can relate. You can relate because it has been storming in your life for a long time. The waves keep crashing down, and you just need to make it to the surface for another breath to keep fighting.

Whether you are praying for a miracle, healing, breakthrough, or maybe you're just praying for normal, I promise, if I can stand boldly and say I would do my life all over again and not change one single thing because of the beauty God has brought to it, then you will be able to as well. God wants your mess and all the ugliness that goes along with it. The Potter doesn't create from something beautiful; He creates from a muddy mess. I was that muddy mess, and maybe that is you right now. God has a plan for each of us and will use our mess, no matter how big, bad, or ugly, to create something beautiful if we trust Him.

No, it is not as easy as I made it sound. It wasn't that easy for me. Trusting in someone you cannot see is hard, and it takes faith—lots of faith. However, God promises His children that it all works out in the end. As His child, if it hasn't worked out yet, it's not the end. He's still writing your story. As long as you have breath in your lungs and your heart is still beating in your chest, keep trusting in the one whose Son was dead and now lives. He is greater than your addiction, your debt, your failed marriage, your child gone astray, your financial distress, your health limitations, and your sin. He's the only one who already knows what you are hiding, what you are ashamed to tell, and what you are battling.

Considering myself a baby Christian when going through all these storms, I must confess (with shame and a bit of annoyance toward myself) it was years before I could consider myself a grateful Christian. You see, to be truly grateful, I would have to be grateful for both the good and the bad, the easy and the hard, the joy and the sorrow, the success and the failure. Now, with a smiling heart, I can say I am truly grateful because it is all this that has brought me to where I am today. It was through the storms that my family and I were humbled and molded to care deeply for others. It is all this that has led me to my purpose, the reason God created me.

I pray that in some way the words within these pages touch your heart no matter where you are in your life right now. Whether you walk with the Lord, you used to walk with Him, or you don't know Him at all, may your mind and heart be open to seeing that through all of this, clinging to Him was the only way I survived. Your ending can be a happy one, no matter your circumstances. We are in this together, my friend, I hope you enjoy my story.

Marriage

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

—Colossians 3:14 NIV

Fancy Meeting You Here

Funny how perspectives change as we travel through the different phases of life. As newlyweds, you seem to find your identity in each other or who you are as a couple. At least, that is how it was with me. I met my first true love, Chuck, at a young age. I fell head over heels for this sweet country boy who would drive past my house multiple times per day in hopes to catch me outside. It never worked out that we would meet that way, but our paths would later cross, and he mustered up the courage to ask me out. We married just a few short years after our first date. I was young, eighteen years old, and Chuck was twenty-one, but I had no doubt he was for me and the desire to be out of my parents' home attributed to my saying yes as well.

I grew up (emotionally) very quickly as a child due to circumstances beyond my control, so taking care of a husband and a home at a young age felt normal. Married life was great. Spending time with Chuck was easy. We liked doing the same things and going to the same places. Life was good. Here we are two years in, and it seemed as if it didn't take much effort to master this thing called marriage. We were crazy about each other. Each day seemed as if we were writing the pages of our very own love story.

In the second year of our marriage, I started attending church. This was the first thing I did on my own since becoming Mrs. Hatcher. Although Chuck didn't attend with me, he didn't mind at all that I was going. After just a few visits, I could feel some changes going on within me. My heart was opening up to this God I was hearing about. In one of our morning services, I decided to give my life to Him. I felt a huge change. If you are a child of God, you know the feeling I'm talking about, but let me try to explain it to those who may have never experienced this. I was happy but a different kind of happy (that would be joy), and it felt like a thousand pounds of burdens I didn't even know I was carrying had been lifted off me. I couldn't wait to share the news with everyone, especially Chuck.

I returned home from church that day and as I walked through the front door, I could feel the excitement dwindling just a bit. Although I hadn't seen Chuck yet to share my exciting news, it was as though this house that was so familiar to me just hours before now seemed so different. The enemy immediately began showing me as I moved from room to room what my life as a Christian wife living with a lost husband would look like. As the days and months passed, it seemed as if everything became divided. The things I now liked doing, he didn't, such as spending time in church and at church functions. I wanted to share this excitement I had for God with him but knew the timing just wasn't right.

When I mention the enemy throughout my story, I'm referring to Satan (often called Lucifer). I'm sure you have heard of him, but what you may not know is that Satan was an exceedingly beautiful angel in a high position of power among the heavenly angels. However, he was not content in his position. His prideful desire to be God led him to assemble an army of angels to help him carry out a plot to take God's throne for himself. As punishment for his disobedience, God cast Satan and his army of angels (one-third of the heavenly angels) to earth and condemned them to hell. Satan realizes his chances of taking over God's throne aren't possible, and his goal now is to hurt God by tempting his children to abandon him. You can read about this in many books of the Bible. Revelation 12 tells of Satan being cast out of heaven.

Although the enemy longed to destroy my home and marriage, as a new child of God, I maintained the excitement to grow as a Christian. The church was my place of refuge, and singing soon became a passion of mine. God had equipped me with a voice for singing, and I used this talent for His glory.

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. (1 Pet. 4:10 NIV)

As someone with challenging weight struggles for several years, I quickly found music and singing was my outlet. I could sing to the Lord rather than run to food when I was hurting, stressed, or bored. I sang from my heart and found that when I sang, others listened. So often society judges those who struggle with weight issues as being lazy or insignificant. They're normally not interested in knowing you or hearing what you have to say. They discard you based solely on appearance. I loved that, finally, people were listening and wanting to know me for who I was, a child of God.

I really couldn't share my passion for singing with Chuck. He was proud of me but didn't come to church to hear or support my singing for the Lord. I gravitated toward an older church member that soon