Stonethrower: The path would be smooth but for the stones we throw before us.

By J. Edward Black PhD

This is a book about personal peace. Stonethrower is divided into two main sections. The first section is called THE PROBLEM. This part of the book focuses on the concept of fear and defenses and the way they operate (especially unconsciously) in our day-to-day lives. The second part of the book, entitles THE SOLUTION, deals with some ideas about change and how to change your mind in a deep and lasting way. Some might call this healing or forgiveness; others might just call it a relief. Whatever you call it, I hope you find it comforting.

This book about my journey is designed to be a part of my learning and is offered with the hope that you might also learn about your true worth. There is a generic process that we all share but the choices we make with our free will direct our lessons.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 2, 2021
• ISBN: 9781636922683

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Stonethrower

The path would be smooth but for the stones we throw before us.

J. EDWARD BLACK, PhD

Copyright © 2021 J. Edward Black, PhD

All rights reserved

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

Published by Newman Springs Publishing 2021

Library Of Congress Catalogue Number TXU-1-006-501: Joseph E. Black: Registered July 31, 2001

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted in any form or by any means without permission from the author.

The author and the publisher have taken care in the preparation of this book, but make no expressed or implied warranty of any kind and assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. No liability is assumed for incidental or consequential damages with or arising out of information contained in this book.

This publication is designed to provide authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered herein. It is sold with the clear understanding that the author and the publisher are not engaged in rendering legal or any other professional services. If these services are needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

ISBN 978-1-63692-267-6 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63692-268-3 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Acknowledgments

There have been so many exquisite teachers that have gently guided my journey that it is not possible for me to express my gratitude to them all.

To those wonderful friends and colleagues who took the time to read the original drafts of this material and to offer their insights, I appreciate your guidance with my heart. My thanks to Dr. Ken Wapnick who read the original outline for this book many years ago and who offered numerous helpful ideas. Others include Dr. Mary Jo Frank, Dr. Leslie Risin, Chad Scott, Dr. J. J. Johnson, Cathy Heinke and Joan Schmidt. Thank you to Tracy Brown, Publication Director at Newman Springs for her tireless work, her patience and her talented guidance in the publication process.

To all the clients who offered their wisdom over the years and showed me clearly what made sense to them, what really worked, and what didn’t. For your patience, your kind tolerance, your good sense, and your endurance in helping me to see my path more clearly, thank you with my heart.

And to my beloved wife/best friend, who has shown her infinite patience as I went on and on about this, who always let me struggle with myself until I was ready to really listen and then share her wisdom, I bless you and think you deserve sainthood.

Finally, to my spirit guide who I generally believe has way overestimated my ability, please show me the way as I know you will.

Ed Black

2021

Introduction: Stonethrower

Stonethrower

The path would be smooth but for the stones we throw before us.¹

The fact that my life has been difficult is no mystery; I have thrown many stones to stumble on. Stones like depression, self-doubt, anger, misguided beliefs, and many more have all been companions along the way. What is more of a mystery is how I (or any of us for that matter) learn to believe in ourselves and our own worth, to know the true essence of our spirit within, and to be in this world but not quite of it. In my search for peace, my quest to learn to stop throwing these stones before myself, I have come to believe in a process and a practice that has made an immense difference. Life is a circle, and there are lessons that we learn while on this journey. When we understand the lessons we came for, we get to go home. The main themes are presented and represented over and over until we get them, and the universe is set up so that we will get them.

This book about my journey is designed to be a part of my learning and is offered with the hope that you might also learn about your true worth. There is a generic process that we all share, but the choices we make with our free will direct our lessons. No one can solve a problem unless they first know that the problem exists and what the real issue is. For most of my life, I either thought that I didn’t have a problem, or that I was sure that I knew exactly what my problems were. Now I realize that I didn’t have a clue! It is to this mistaken belief about the problem (about ourselves) that I would focus your attention because what we often believe is Love is not Love at all. Our experience and learning about Love has taught us incorrectly. We have learned an emotional error of immense proportion that has consequences far beyond our imaginings. I would like to share a different idea about Love as I have come to experience it through my journey. I don’t profess to have the key to wisdom about the full meaning of Love, but I have learned a thing or two about what it isn’t. It is my hope that you will come to know Love, spiritual Love, in a new and deeper way.

Stonethrower is divided into two main sections. The first section is called The Problem. This part of the book will focus on the concept of fear and defenses and the way they operate (especially unconsciously) in our day-to-day lives. Fears such as failure, helplessness, rejection, and abandonment turn into our defenses such as anger, anxiety, depression, guilt, sickness, and other problems without us really being aware that it occurred. The second part of the book, entitled The Solution, deals with some ideas about change and how to change your mind in a deep and lasting way. Some might call this healing or forgiveness; others might just call it a relief. Whatever you call it, I hope you find it comforting.

For me, as with many, change doesn’t seem to come easy, but it does come. I remember writing a song about change in my younger days that had words like this:

What is really clear is that somehow between there and here,

in all those lonely evenings and times I spent alone,

piece by piece, I changed. In time, my mind rearranged,

and I learned those things, those things I now call real,

I learned how to feel.

Take from Stonethrower anything that is of value to you on your journey and discard the rest. Don’t close your mind to the possibility that there is always much more to learn in our search. Don’t be threatened by concepts you don’t understand; in time, they may become clear to you. And most of all, don’t underestimate your worth and the power of your mind; both of these are, to me, a gift from the great Creator who established us in his image.

But first, the problem!

Part 1

The Problem

Chapter 1

Chaos

To know and to not do is to not know.²

To say that my journey has been smooth or well planned is far from the truth. My path has been one of chaos and difficulties with many bumps in the road that I didn’t know were there, and that many times, I had put there myself. In my younger days, I was so sure that I knew the way. The meaning of life seemed self-evident, and I didn’t question. My mind was closed. The way seemed to become more and more difficult. I became depressed, seriously depressed. It seemed the harder I struggled, the worse my life became. I kept thinking the classic victim’s thinking (without knowing that that was what I was doing) that the world was out to get me, but I didn’t know why. So I’d try harder. I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but I realized at some point that I really must not know what anything in my life meant. I had a problem, but I didn’t have a clue about what it was. At first, I thought I was going crazy, losing my mind. Then somehow, I began to realize that I could learn to see the world and myself in it differently. It was about this time that I also realized that I could know many things intellectually and still feel really bad inside. I had earned my PhD, had a home in middle-class America, a wife, a new car, and I still didn’t want to live. If all those things didn’t bring joy or peace, there had to be something else. It gradually started to dawn on me that to know something intellectually was not the same as to know it emotionally.

Somewhere in this very chaotic period of my life, I began to realize that spiritual peace doesn’t come fast or easy. I’m not sure why, but I thought I knew the way when, in fact, I didn’t. Most people, including myself, seem to want our spiritual