Cheating on God: Overcoming Marital Infidelity

By Daphne Curges Ph.D

Infidelity is quite popular today and negatively perceived as an acceptable norm. However, according to Scripture, it is an ungodly act of betrayal against the relationship with a spouse, children, and so many others connected to the marriage union. Most of all, infidelity is an offense to the creator of heaven and earth, our Father God. Although many marriages survive infidelity, so many more fail because this act is for many a deal-breaker that leads to a divorce.

As unthinkable as the notion is of breaking such a covenant with a spouse covered by God when infidelity happens, awkward and controversial questions are raised: What happened? Should I stay? If I stay, will he or she cheat on me again? Where do we go from here? Can trust be rebuilt? In this book, we will identify spiritual strategies that Satan uses to attack and tear down marriages.

God teaches us to press forward and forgive others, no matter the offense. But forgiveness is easier said than done. Still, practice makes perfect. We must come to the master of forgiveness, Jesus Christ, our Lord, and Savior. Jesus experienced betrayal, but instead of holding grudges or seeking revenge, He forgave. David also cried out to God after being betrayed by someone close to his heart (Psalm 55). The power of forgiveness allows one to be grudge-free.

Overall, overcoming betrayal and infidelity is not a simple process, and couples cannot rely on their own strength to forgive and heal. The power to heal comes directly from God, who delivers and provides the strength to forgive. Only with the unequivocal help of God’s Spirit can we love, heal, forgive, and pray for those who harm us.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: May 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685261849

Book preview

Chapter 1

Marriage Covenant

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

—Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV)

Today, marriage is seen as a social tradition that began well before the year 1250 and was originally intended to be an economic asset rather than a social, legal, and spiritual agreement.

Traditionally, a man and woman may enter marriage for a variety of reasons, most of them selfish or frivolous. This is not so in holy union, which is an anointed covenant with God Almighty.

God-ordained marriage is for the purpose of a man and a woman united in His name. The wedding ring is a circular symbol of eternal, unending love and commitment you and your spouse could have for each other and symbolizes the commitment Christ has with His children.

Through this holy union, the church teaches that Jesus gives the strength and grace to live the true meaning of marriage.

The terms for marriage or matrimony have changed over the years to cater to the impulses of a worldly culture where couples do not want to be held accountable to each other.

Holy matrimony adheres to the following terms of commitment:

To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God, I make this vow.

These vows spoken before God are now omitted in some of today’s marriages. The omission of these vows has opened the doors to adultery in shaky or broken marriages today.

But when the Lord, our God, is at the center of holy matrimony, there is divine power guaranteeing purity, commitment, and strength between the couple.

It is God who holds marriages together, not fickle humans. Marriage is sound not because of financial solidarity or on/off again lust, but because the Holy Spirit keeps two individuals welded into one, the way God intended.

The matrimonial verse is thus,

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31 NKJV)

When a man and woman marry, you become one entity. There is no enmity or worldly culture that can break any marriage that is God-centered and God-fearing.

Jesus Christ is the source, the sustenance, and the Spirit of the union. He is the sanctity that bonds a man and a woman together forever.

There is no need for a financial gain or social recognition to be a motivational impetus or a fear of abandonment—which typifies too many individuals today. They seek the love of fellow humans and not the love of God, agape love, which is unconditional.

Love and Marriage

Agape love, at its heart, is not an emotion. Emotion is Hollywood’s version of love. Love is an unconditional act of the will. It means that no matter how mad you are at their actions, you can say, I still love you. The Lord loves each one of us despite our failures or mistakes. How do we know this?

The greatest act of love in human history was when Jesus died on the cross for our sins. That was not an emotional sacrifice; it was a willful one.

Love is an act of the will. It does not feel. Love is action despite how we are feeling. Satan is aware of our vulnerabilities and will elicit emotional responses by presenting opportunities that will challenge our morals.

Married couples must stay in both offensive and defensive positions. In the offensive position, you must pass or block something from happening before it occurs—preventative measures. That means you are always girded with the Word of God. Before you start your day, you should have already had a conversation with God to guide your steps and place a hedge of protection around you. In the defensive position, the attack has already happened. Therefore, you must be prepared to throw the Word of God from your mouth—protective measures.

The greatest act of love was based on will, not emotions.

He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will. (Matthew 26:39 NKJV)

Jesus didn’t say, Yet not as I feel. He said, Not as I will.

Worldly marriages may be based on emotion, finances, reputation, and perhaps sexual romance, but the true marriage union, as ordained by God, is a matter of His word, His will, His sovereignty, His love, and His humility.

Jesus demonstrated this agape love to us.

The Word of God is an effective weapon against any sin, but in this case, against adultery, which mainly thrives on human weakness, broken vessels, and lack of self-control. When we submit our heart, mind, and soul to God, and resist the temptations of this world, then the demon of lust and perversion must flee. (James 4:7 NKJV)

The Spirit of the sovereign ruler who created the universe is firmly